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Peter Stork

@peterstork.com
265 followers 643 following 1.1K posts

Obsessed with: ⚽ ⚾ 📺 🎥 and somehow the Billboard Adult Alternative Airplay chart? Frequent XLOOKUP and COUNTIFS user. a 📋 and a 😃👋 will get you into any 🏢 in the 🌎 www.strava.com/athletes/peterstork 📍 Chicagoland via Mound City

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Peter Stork @peterstork.com · 9h
I keep a ridiculous nerdy Excel sheet where I log every goal and it auto-generates a table and other things for me because I'm into these sort of things, and this was *such* an easy solve by just creating a column to enter the new club name while keeping the original goal with that team.
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Peter Stork @peterstork.com · 02/09/2026
Meme: They don’t know I’m listening to guilty by Barbra Streisand and Barry gibb while using the leg press at the gym
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Peter Stork @peterstork.com · 20/07/2026
Share someone who looks stylish wearing a hat.
They changed Malibu Stacy! She has a new hat!
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Peter Stork @peterstork.com · 07/07/2026
Fox right now:
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Peter Stork @peterstork.com · 04/07/2026
HAPPY FOURTH
Prologue: Ragtime
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Peter Stork @peterstork.com · 02/07/2026
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Peter Stork @peterstork.com · 12/06/2026
Rebecca Lowe holding a microphone with a Fox Sports flag:
Jim Edmonds as a Cub. It’s wrong!!!
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Peter Stork @peterstork.com · 07/06/2026
#stlcards
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Peter Stork @peterstork.com · 07/06/2026
🤔 🤔 🤔 #stlcards
Graphic from the Cardinals’ broadcast with wrong logos for the Cardinals, White Sox, and Angels.
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Peter Stork @peterstork.com · 31/05/2026
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Peter Stork @peterstork.com · 16/05/2026
My wife's reaction when I texted this picture to her
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Peter Stork @peterstork.com · 06/05/2026
Maybe it's the beer talking Marge but you got a butt that won't quit. They got those big chewy pretzels here menJanrthfgrr...... five dollars??!!!? Get outta here!
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Peter Stork @peterstork.com · 04/05/2026
when you go on the social media and it's May 4 again
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Peter Stork @peterstork.com · 02/05/2026
Nute Gunray (I think? Maybe?) with his quote “This is getting out of hand. Now there are two of them.”
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Peter Stork @peterstork.com · 30/04/2026
#stlcards
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Peter Stork @peterstork.com · 01/04/2026
Halfway through the hearing:
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Peter Stork @peterstork.com · 26/03/2026
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Peter Stork @peterstork.com · 25/03/2026
me when Albert Pujols shows up on the Netflix pregame show without his cool new glasses
Scene from My Girl where Veda is not pleased that Kevin McCallister does not have his glasses
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Peter Stork @peterstork.com · 21/02/2026
2026 MLS Predictions: (Shield MIA; Spoon SKC)
West: LAFC, VAN, SDF, SEA, DAL, LAG, PDX, MIN, SJE, ATX, HOU, STL, COL, RSL, SKC
East: MIA, NSH, CIN, NYC, CHI, CLT, PHI, CLB, NER, ORL, ATL, TOR, RBNY, DCU, MTL
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Peter Stork @peterstork.com · 20/02/2026
me when I click the Google Doodle and it takes me to some AI bullshit
Obi-Wan, who has just been BETRAYED
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Peter Stork @peterstork.com · 14/02/2026
Josh Lyman from The West Wing on a Valentine: “Hey Girl, I’ve got two secret plans - one to fight inflation, and one to win your heart.”
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Peter Stork @peterstork.com · 07/02/2026
when you're on your way to vote for the package film
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Peter Stork @peterstork.com · 14/01/2026
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Peter Stork @peterstork.com · 07/01/2026
when your new kit arrives just in time for #BrentfordFC to move up to fifth (!)
Me wearing my new Brentford third kit, flashing deuces. Ugh.
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Peter Stork @peterstork.com · 05/01/2026
Beyond ecstatic that, thanks to the FA Cup, for the first time in my fandom this video is relevant to #BrentfordFC.
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Peter Stork @peterstork.com · 01/01/2026
Harry Kim of Voyager likes my LEGO Luxo Jr. lamp!
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Peter Stork @peterstork.com · 19/12/2025
The #1 movie when you were 10 years old is how your 2026 is going to go. 😬😬😬😬😬
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Peter Stork @peterstork.com · 18/12/2025
Watching MY President right now:
On Hulu: Joe Pera Talks With You
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Peter Stork @peterstork.com · 13/12/2025
Oh, Brita’s in this?
A Brita pitcher sitting in a cart at Costco.
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Peter Stork @peterstork.com · 13/12/2025
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Peter Stork @peterstork.com · 11/12/2025
okay fine
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Peter Stork @peterstork.com · 08/12/2025
Movie you’ve watched more than six times with a gif. Hard mode: no Stars (Wars nor Trek), LOTR, or Marvel, Disney Animated or Pixar.
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Peter Stork @peterstork.com · 28/11/2025
when UConn is on a 10-0 run against the #Illini 😞😞😞
33% complete progress bar
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Peter Stork @peterstork.com · 31/10/2025
If you see this, quote with a robot that isn’t from “Star Wars,” “Star Trek,” “Doctor Who,” or “Transformers.”
Pimpbot 5000
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Peter Stork @peterstork.com · 27/10/2025
“2-0 MIN, 80’. They just scored off a corner.”
Horribly bloody room with the text “Caption this with the 2nd to last text you sent.”
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Peter Stork @peterstork.com · 26/10/2025
excuse me what
Apple Music’s New Music Mix, featuring artists John Lennon, Sheena Easton, Barry Manilow, and Anne Murray.
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Peter Stork @peterstork.com · 14/10/2025
Epic Handshake Meme

Subject: successful baseball newsletters
Arm 1: progressive politics
Arm 2: Brentford footy
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Peter Stork @peterstork.com · 24/09/2025
Ralph Wiggum: “I’m in danger!”
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Peter Stork @peterstork.com · 23/07/2025
#stlcards
Epic Handshake Meme Generator

"Loses a series to a historically awful ballclub"

2024 Cardinals = 2025 Cardinals
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Peter Stork @peterstork.com · 20/07/2025
welcome to Radi Spator Rings
A Disney baseball jersey that is misaligned to it says “Radi Spator Rings”
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Peter Stork @peterstork.com · 10/07/2025
Paramount+’s #USOpenCup coverage is top class.
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Peter Stork @peterstork.com · 09/07/2025
People searching TikTok and trying to will certain actions into existence #stlcards
TikTok search box: “Search • Cardinals Designated Miles Mikolas”
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Peter Stork @peterstork.com · 05/07/2025
spending an ordinary Friday with the boys
I’m wearing an incredible Three Caballeros shirt. You’re jealous. This was minutes before eating mint chocolate chip ice cream along the original alignment of Route 66.
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Peter Stork @peterstork.com · 25/06/2025
Barney Gumble: “Just hook it to my veins!!!”
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Peter Stork @peterstork.com · 24/06/2025
Okay
My New York Times ballot for the top ten films of the 2000s, which is more accurately my *favorites*

The Dark Knight
Ghost World
High Fidelity
The Incredibles
Knives Out
Moana
Oceans Eleven
The Social Network
Sully
Up In The Air
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Peter Stork @peterstork.com · 21/06/2025
Nute Gunray: “This is getting out hand. Now there are two of them!”
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Peter Stork @peterstork.com · 19/06/2025
#stlcards
Sox Park, Chicago
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Peter Stork @peterstork.com · 16/06/2025
The classic Vienna Beef poster where Navy Pier has been consumed by a giant Chicago style hot dog.
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Peter Stork @peterstork.com · 08/06/2025
Guy Patterson from "That Thing You Do"
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Peter Stork @peterstork.com · 03/06/2025
Even the umps were like "fuck it"
Umpires: HP: Doug Eddings. 1B: Derek Thomas. 2B: NO UMPIRE. 3B: Emil Jimenez.
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