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Opium Tea

@opiumtea.com

318 followers 508 following 138 posts

Diluting the trans panic with satirical gender fluid. This account collates the Opium Tea content from @alandriscoll.com. opiumtea.com patreon.com/terfipedia buymeacoffee.com/opiumtea

Posts Replies Media

Opium Tea @opiumtea.com · 19/06/2025

Stay tuned for Season 2.

Opium Tea @opiumtea.com · 28/05/2025

8/8.

The gout of blood was caught by his thrashing prop and sprayed back, a crimson rain. And so close was Rowling that it spattered on her goggles. With wide open gun, the Terry hurled itself down across the five miles to smash to deadly ruin.

Rowling and Harris laughed joyously. They had worked that trick before. But today, their success was more important than ever. “Like I said, not today,” said Rowling, turning into a spiral to regain altitude. “Now let’s get these lesbians home.”

Opium Tea @opiumtea.com · 28/05/2025

7/8.

The force of the zoom died. The Muj realised his dilemma, for Rowling was descending like a comet. Desperately, the Muj tried to fall away and out of range, but his control surfaces were no longer sensitive. Fall away he did, but in a bad slip that left him helpless.

Like a devil from hell, Rowling howled down upon the helpless Terry, who wriggled and dodged as the tracer sprayed him. He raised up, and showed a face contorted with horror. At that second a seven-slug burst caught him square in the neck and practically sawed his head off.

Opium Tea @opiumtea.com · 28/05/2025

6/8.

At the same instant the uprushing Muj opened fire. Rowling’s Vickers trembled on their mountings, a blue haze vomited from the black snouts. The golden tracer sprayed like sparks from an emery wheel. She never released the trips. Around her head, through the wings, into the whirl of her prop came the Ali Baba smoke tracer, little grey threads of death.

Behind, the Lewis gun chattered like a mad monkey, and the Terry, replying, filled the air with staccato hammering. The Terry came up, and splashed into the shower of slugs that Rowling threw at him.

Opium Tea @opiumtea.com · 28/05/2025

5/8.

But the deadly Lewis shooting slugs like a mad thing forced the Muj to veer wide. The surprise had failed.

“Not today, Terry,” said Rowling. “The LGB Alliance fights for all same-sex attracted people, and you’ll have to get up a lot earlier in the damn morning if you plan on pulling the wool over our eyes.”

Rowling grinned, sharpened the bank, and nosed down at the Terry coming up like a skyrocket. Her own fingers tightened on the stick trigger. “Take it,” she muttered, and pressed the Bowden trip.

Opium Tea @opiumtea.com · 28/05/2025

4/8.

But before Kate had time to radio the base, down the sky, roaring like a banshee from hell, came a checkered Terry. Rowling had been droning at half throttle. A smash of her palm drove the lever against the peg, and the gunned Liberty screamed out its song.

She straightened the bank, zoomed and made a reverse bank. At the same moment, Kate’s Lewis began to chatter like an electric typewriter.

Even as the golden tracers spat toward the oncoming Terry, smoke tracer from the Ali Baba began to peck at the wings, ricocheting bluely off the cocking handles of Rowling’s Vickers, and ripped through strut and linen.

Opium Tea @opiumtea.com · 28/05/2025

3/8.

Rowling goosed the huge Liberty out of line, flipped into the wind and poured the gun to her.

Sweetly, she took her off in a fast climbing turn and began to spiral for altitude. The ceiling was not so high and there were thick, cumulous clouds with holes in them. Holes through which Terry Taliban could spy on them, and make a surprise attack. But Rowling hugged close to them, and droned steadily on, working up to fourteen thousand feet. When a few Muj shells burst blackly below, she cut her gun and yelled: “Wireless O.K.?”

Opium Tea @opiumtea.com · 28/05/2025

2/8.

Rowling legged it into the cockpit and started checking her twin Vickers, moving the controls. Kate “Banger” Harris got in behind and looked over the Lewis gun mounted on the tourelle, before tying the little cords to Rowling’s arms, the cords with which she guided the pilot right or left as she was spotting shots.

“Right!” Rowling suddenly swore, unfastened her safety belt and climbed down. “Dammit, I forgot my bottle. I’ll be right back.” She ran across the tarmac to the LGB Alliance camp and returned to belt herself in.

Opium Tea @opiumtea.com · 28/05/2025

1/8.

'Lesbian Rescue' - A J.K. Rowling Adventure.

Opium Tea @opiumtea.com · 18/05/2025

Comic strip: Graham Linehan, Civil Rights Hero.

Opium Tea @opiumtea.com · 14/05/2025

Comic strip: Helen Joyce, Intellectual Giant.

Opium Tea @opiumtea.com · 12/05/2025

Judge orders Father Ted musical to go ahead right there in the courtroom; Graham Linehan found not guilty of all charges; awarded a hug from J.K. Rowling as compensation.

Opium Tea @opiumtea.com · 12/05/2025

Comic strip: Graham Linehan is "Defending Himself".

Opium Tea @opiumtea.com · 12/05/2025

Comic strip: Graham Linehan is "Defending Himself".

Opium Tea @opiumtea.com · 12/05/2025

Comic strip: Graham Linehan is "Defending Himself".

Opium Tea @opiumtea.com · 12/05/2025

Reposting this classic series for no reason.

Comic strip: Graham Linehan is "Defending Himself".

Opium Tea @opiumtea.com · 08/05/2025

Fun fact: Ricky Gervais name-searches former friend Robin Ince as well as himself to see what they're saying about him, giving you twice the opportunities to annoy him.

Ricky Gervais announces new Netflix special 'Keyjangling'.

Opium Tea @opiumtea.com · 08/05/2025

"Not like that, Stu. Not when you have to do anything. We meant make fun of Dave Chapelle eating a chicken."

Opium Tea @opiumtea.com · 08/05/2025

Stewart Lee and Richard Herring put their differences aside to unite in powerful display of ambivalence about transphobic abuse in the UK comedy scene.

Opium Tea @opiumtea.com · 01/05/2025

Graham Linehan found guilty of harassment and criminal damage, sentenced to two years with Rob Schneider.

Opium Tea @opiumtea.com · 22/04/2025

God proposes a series of updates to the design of the human body designed to end gender-based conflict, including eliminating sexual anxiety and shame by introducing separate penises for pissing and cumming.

Opium Tea @opiumtea.com · 22/04/2025

Trans woman with I.B.S. overjoyed to find herself at the mercy of humanity’s efforts to reconcile the psychological overlap between its reproductive and excretory bodily functions.

Opium Tea @opiumtea.com · 21/04/2025

Comic strip: Weekend at Bernsie's.

Opium Tea @opiumtea.com · 21/04/2025

Millions rejoice as satirical website relaunches.

Opium Tea @opiumtea.com · 20/04/2025

Comic strip: Wichita Linehan.

Opium Tea @opiumtea.com · 16/04/2025

In case you were wondering why The Lesbian Project's logo was seeming so familiar.

Opium Tea @opiumtea.com · 15/04/2025

Helen Joyce's seminal academic text 'Rants: When Idiocy Meets Vanity'.

Opium Tea @opiumtea.com · 15/04/2025

New from Opium Tea Toys, the Marion Millar action figure.

Opium Tea @opiumtea.com · 07/04/2025

Comic strip. Life imitates art: This 1919 cartoon accurately predicted being called a pedophile on social media over 100 years ago.

Opium Tea @opiumtea.com · 31/03/2025

Helen Joyce launches new range of merchandise.

Opium Tea @opiumtea.com · 28/03/2025

This could get ugly. Who's gonna get custody of the scarecrow?

Comic strip: Joanne's Scarecrow.

Comic strip: Graham's Ghost Scarecrow.

Opium Tea @opiumtea.com · 27/03/2025

Taking Stock renewed for Season 2.

The poster for the upcoming season of Taking Stock.

Opium Tea @opiumtea.com · 25/03/2025

Graham Linehan experiences first ever moment of moral uncertainty as Israeli bomb accidentally destroys breasts of Palestinian trans man.

Opium Tea @opiumtea.com · 18/03/2025

Ray Blanchard watches ‘Moon’, immediately publishes paper on Astroclonephilia.

Opium Tea @opiumtea.com · 16/03/2025

Opium Tea @opiumtea.com · 16/03/2025

Opium Tea News: Julie Bindel or Burchill banned from Facebook for hateful conduct.

Feminist writer Julie Bindel or Burchill has been banned from Facebook after failing to heed several warnings about hateful conduct and inciting harassment.

This is not the first time the outspoken contrarian has landed herself in hot water after controversial comments on social media and in her newspaper column, including a history of Islamophobic remarks deemed deeply offensive to the Muslim community.

Ms Bindel or Burchill has also faced accusations of transphobia having described trans women as “men in frocks”, and courted controversy by writing dismissively about the experiences of bisexual women.

Julie, who probably has a book coming out about cancel culture, decried the mass reporting of “woke warriors” as an attempt to censor her on Facebook, and announced her migration to Substack.

The middle-aged comedy feminist is also expected to appear in a selection of national newspapers over the course of the week, posing with two pieces of sellotape across her mouth as a powerful visual metaphor for her continued silencing.

Opium Tea @opiumtea.com · 12/03/2025

Please welcome to the Opium Tea universe Grinner Bub, a shapeshifting musical lifeform here to pay tribute to the bravest of culture warriors. In this case, a salute to those paying the ultimate price to end genocide by rejecting brand loyalty.

Opium Tea @opiumtea.com · 11/03/2025

Please welcome to the Opium Tea universe Grinner Bub, a shapeshifting musical lifeform here to pay tribute to the bravest of culture warriors. In this case, a salute to those selflessly dedicated to child safeguarding.

Opium Tea @opiumtea.com · 10/03/2025

Graham Linehan briefly unable to access Twitter.

Opium Tea @opiumtea.com · 09/03/2025

Investigative journalist Andrew Gold grills Posie Parker on balancing gender critical activism with filming season 3 of The White Lotus.

Opium Tea @opiumtea.com · 04/03/2025

Comic strip: Joanne's Scarecrow.

Opium Tea @opiumtea.com · 01/03/2025

Comic strip: Mr. God, Planet Manager.

Opium Tea @opiumtea.com · 18/02/2025

That's what got us into this mess in the first place.

Helen Joyce launches new range of merchandise.

Opium Tea @opiumtea.com · 18/02/2025

Elon Musk's racecar bed bursts into flames.

Opium Tea @opiumtea.com · 14/02/2025

Ricky Gervais announces new Netflix special 'Keyjangling'.

Opium Tea @opiumtea.com · 14/02/2025

TRIGGERnometry announce spin-off show 'Gethsemane Street' to educate children on the horrors and occasional necessity of genocide.

Opium Tea @opiumtea.com · 14/02/2025

4/4

Lesbian Rescue: An LGB Alliance Adventure.

Opium Tea @opiumtea.com · 14/02/2025

3/4

Lesbian Rescue: An LGB Alliance Adventure.

Opium Tea @opiumtea.com · 14/02/2025

2/4

Lesbian Rescue: An LGB Alliance Adventure.

Opium Tea @opiumtea.com · 14/02/2025

Thread: 1/4.

Lesbian Rescue: An LGB Alliance Adventure.