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Sam "One-Wheel" O'Neil

@onewheeloneil.bsky.social
503 followers 365 following 1.9K posts

I'm a writer and editor**. You can hire* me, learn more about me, or read my stuff at onewheeloneil.com ** I've taken my talents to the local ISD to teach English *I'm actually only accepting jobs over the summer right now

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Sam "One-Wheel" O'Neil @onewheeloneil.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
I'm always disappointed by @nytimes.com lack of culture. Go watch MIB2.
NYT Game "Spelling Bee" with Ballchinian as the entry, a reference to the movie Men In Black 2
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Melissa Nadia Viviana 🐸 @resistrebelrevolt.net · 20/09/2026
💯 "If you don't learn how to do the heavy lifting of thinking & writing, you'll become an animal that survives eating only its own shit. Our words are what feeds the machine. AI becomes our mirror. When we only ever look at our reflection, the mirror becomes the meal." -Samantha Bise
A poem called: AI Cannibal Diet.
A student tells me I should teach how to write using AI as a tool. I tell him we don't use forklifts in the gym. Some tools can weaken us. This is less profane than what I really want to say to him: If you don't learn how to do the heavy lifting of thinking and writing, you will become an animal that survives eating only its own shit. Our words are what feeds the machine. AI becomes our mirror. When we only ever look at our reflection, the mirror becomes the meal. Soon we are eating what we already ate, chewing yesterday's language and calling it a new recipe. We harvest our own manure,
dress it up as knowledge, and the system that feeds it right back to us. Mama and baby birds passing chewed worms from beak to beak. Never swallowing or digesting a thing, but calling it sustenance. A strange new carnivore. Not flesh eating flesh, but thought eating thought, until the words become marrow-I mean narrow.
It's the new fad diet. All the rage.
Consume everything. Digest nothing. Intellect becomes thin. Translucent. AI anorexia. Outsource appetite. All thoughts pre-digested for you. No need to chew on a single thing.
by SAMANTHA BISE
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Sam "One-Wheel" O'Neil @onewheeloneil.bsky.social · 14/09/2026
What kind of turtle is best suited for working in an Amazon warehouse? A box turtle.
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Sam "One-Wheel" O'Neil @onewheeloneil.bsky.social · 12/09/2026
Just had a Saturday thought... I used to be v. conservative, a good Evangelical Christian who knew all the "right" answers. But I was often flippant and arrogant because I was so unthinkingly confident my answers were correct. In hindsight, I worshiped theology, not Jesus.
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Team Talarico @teamtalaricohq.bsky.social · 23/08/2026
Talarico: When Ken Paxton talks about costs, you can tell it doesn't come naturally. It's a little like he's trying to speak French or something. It's like affordability is a word he learned on Duolingo that morning. Who does he think he's fooling?
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Sam "One-Wheel" O'Neil @onewheeloneil.bsky.social · 22/08/2026
You can find lots of good advice about how to be a parent, but one thing not nearly enough people discuss is the need for really great poo-phemisms. I, for one, am partial to "the devils playdough." Follow for more #ParentingTips
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Sam "One-Wheel" O'Neil @onewheeloneil.bsky.social · 22/08/2026
Optimist: The glass is half empty. Pessimist: The glass is half full. Narrator: They are both trying to drink more water.
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Team Talarico @teamtalaricohq.bsky.social · 15/08/2026
Ken Paxton has officially released his new “affordability agenda.” It will help the wealthy more than working Texans.
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Sam "One-Wheel" O'Neil @onewheeloneil.bsky.social · 12/08/2026
The new school year has started. Pray for me 😂
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Melissa Nadia Viviana 🐸 @resistrebelrevolt.net · 29/07/2026
But guys... you don't have to give up your addiction to rage. Just turn it towards things that actually deserve it: like billionaires, techno-fascists, and data centers! Then we can all be angry together!
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Sam "One-Wheel" O'Neil @onewheeloneil.bsky.social · 29/07/2026
Some days my kids make me think "you're lucky you're so cute 😡" But other days I think "I'm lucky you're so cute 😍"
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Sam "One-Wheel" O'Neil @onewheeloneil.bsky.social · 28/07/2026
I want so badly to like Aldi, but the little inconveniences, like not opening till 9am and having less control over how much produce you need, really begin to add up. It becomes really difficult to argue that I'm actually saving money when so much of my time and mental energy is used up there.
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Sam "One-Wheel" O'Neil @onewheeloneil.bsky.social · 25/07/2026
As per uszh, McSweeny's doesn't miss.
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Kevin M. Kruse @kevinmkruse.bsky.social · 24/07/2026
Mock Op-Ed Text:

Here's Why It Would Never a Mistake To Do Anything That Inconveniences Rich Assholes

by Some Rich Asshole
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Sam "One-Wheel" O'Neil @onewheeloneil.bsky.social · 17/07/2026
So, I was locked out of my Bluesky for a while because I couldn't decide if I wanted to give personal data to verify that I am, in fact, closer to 40 than I am to 30... But I'm back in case anyone noticed.
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HAD @havehashad.com · 24/06/2026
HAD pop-up submission call edited by the pope when?
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Sam "One-Wheel" O'Neil @onewheeloneil.bsky.social · 21/06/2026
@lindsayellis.bsky.social I *need* Noumena book 4
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Sam "One-Wheel" O'Neil @onewheeloneil.bsky.social · 05/06/2026
I was at the Plano rally, and I'm proud to be a vocal TalaFreako. This is the kind of servant leadership and anti-corruption we desperately need at every level of government. It's time for the Epstein class to face justice for their decades of theft abuse, and callous neglect of Americans.
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Sam "One-Wheel" O'Neil @onewheeloneil.bsky.social · 04/06/2026
They say a way to a man's heart is through his stomach, and today I'm loving myself for these lemon bars I made.
A picture of homemade, from-scratch lemon bars. They are unevenly cut, poorly dusted, and generally not photogenic, but (though it can't be captured in photos) they taste really good.
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Josiah Hawthorne @josiahhawthorne.bsky.social · 25/05/2026
static.klipy.com
Morpheus and Crew in The Matrix
Alt: The "Morpheus is fighting Neo!" scene from the Matrix
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Sam "One-Wheel" O'Neil @onewheeloneil.bsky.social · 25/05/2026
I will never stop fighting against the use of AI in all creativity driven and artistic fields.
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Bat B @buckwheatmat.bsky.social · 21/05/2026
What if we taxed vehicles according to size
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Sam "One-Wheel" O'Neil @onewheeloneil.bsky.social · 18/05/2026
What's that? My inbox needs to be organized? Sounds good!
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Sam "One-Wheel" O'Neil @onewheeloneil.bsky.social · 15/05/2026
I already answered this in another post: woman, man, non-binary, bi-nonbary, man+, and badass.
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Sam "One-Wheel" O'Neil @onewheeloneil.bsky.social · 15/05/2026
A friend of mine who uses threads just sent me a screenshot of this @atrupar.com post. In case anyone is interested, I am pretty sure the six genders are woman, man, non-binary, bi-nonbary, man+, and badass.
A Threads post by Aaron Rupar that references Trump's comments that James Talerico has six genders.
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Nick Anderson - political cartoonist @andertoon.bsky.social · 14/05/2026
Raising the Flag Follow my work and writing on Substack: nickanderson.substack.com
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Sam "One-Wheel" O'Neil @onewheeloneil.bsky.social · 15/05/2026
I just recently learned from my 9th graders what "mogging" is. I, as a good conversationalist, asked a follow up question: what would I need to do to teacher-mog on my coworkers. And they told me I'm already mogging 🥹🥹
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Patrick Chovanec @prchovanec.bsky.social · 13/05/2026
Watching a series of former Confederate states rush to eliminate any vestige of black representation in the House pretty much answers the question whether the Voting Rights Act was still necessary.
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Sherrilyn Ifill @sifill.bsky.social · 14/05/2026
Feeling overwhelmed with all of this. LISTEN. Another Louisiana resident (Marshawn is the only name we have) testifies against the state’s racial gerrymander, speaking truth to power up and down the hearing room and predicts how this story will end. Speak your truth, fight and believe.
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Sam "One-Wheel" O'Neil @onewheeloneil.bsky.social · 11/05/2026
Last time I asked a question like this, I discovered my new favorite book and many other reads I absolutely adored. So let's do it again: What is a novel you love that changed your life? Looking for new ideas to expand my "to read" list in new directions.
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Sam "One-Wheel" O'Neil @onewheeloneil.bsky.social · 10/05/2026
As if I needed another reason to love @thestorygraph.com , their one month free trial automatically *cancels*instead of automatically charging you. So yeah, I will be buying a plus plan when my trial ends.
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Sam "One-Wheel" O'Neil @onewheeloneil.bsky.social · 10/05/2026
For months now I have been delinquent, Never seeking to grow so relinquent. Sundays slip past like air Without poems to spare. My limericks come so infrequent. #LimerickSunday
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Claire E. Aubin @ceaubin.com · 10/05/2026
what every “how to incorporate AI in your humanities classroom” article/email/workshop looks like to me
A children’s book called I Really Like Slop
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the babahuck @tylerhuckabee.bsky.social · 08/05/2026
mario kart is making us all racecar drivers
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Sam "One-Wheel" O'Neil @onewheeloneil.bsky.social · 05/05/2026
THIS is my kind of humor.
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Sam "One-Wheel" O'Neil @onewheeloneil.bsky.social · 04/05/2026
Slightly diminish a book: A Game of Tones
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Sam "One-Wheel" O'Neil @onewheeloneil.bsky.social · 04/05/2026
Slightly diminish a book: The Hiring Manager of the Rings
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Sam "One-Wheel" O'Neil @onewheeloneil.bsky.social · 29/04/2026
If you don't think the government should be spending 400 million to fund Trump's gaudy monument to his own narcissism, please call your senators and representatives. It may feel pointless (trust me, I have to call Ted Cruz) but if you don't call, you're complicit in letting it happen.
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Sam "One-Wheel" O'Neil @onewheeloneil.bsky.social · 17/04/2026
Remember that song/chant for kids that asks "who took the cookie from the cookie jar?" Well, suffice it to say, my middle kid just realized that cookie and poopy are the same number of syllables.
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Sam "One-Wheel" O'Neil @onewheeloneil.bsky.social · 15/04/2026
The arrogance of "I wasn't raised Catholic, but I converted a few years ago and I'm pretty sure the pope is wrong about Catholic theology" is making me really happy (in a sad, depressed, kind of way)
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AFT @aft.org · 13/04/2026
Dr. Leonard Bright, Texas A&M AAUP: Higher education is not a luxury - it's a public good. Higher ed exists to advance knowledge. But our courses are being scrutinized & altered because of a small group of political actors. @texasaaup.bsky.social @aaup.org @afthighered.bsky.social
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Sam "One-Wheel" O'Neil @onewheeloneil.bsky.social · 10/04/2026
I feel this in my bones.
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Luna-Olivia-Eirene @luna-eirene.bsky.social · 09/04/2026
“If they can automatically enroll men into the draft at 18, they can automatically register Americans to vote at 18. Ask yourself why they won’t” Josh H.
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Melissa Nadia Viviana 🐸 @resistrebelrevolt.net · 07/04/2026
"We want to speak to members of the military. 🫵🏽 You swore an oath to protect the constitution. Right now the threats to our constitution are coming from right here at home. You must refuse illegal orders. 🇺🇲 Don't give up the ship."
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Sam "One-Wheel" O'Neil @onewheeloneil.bsky.social · 01/04/2026
Apparently my middle son is in the "fill your pockets with rocks" stage of childhood. Exhibit A: everything I emptied from his pockets just now.
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Sam "One-Wheel" O'Neil @onewheeloneil.bsky.social · 26/03/2026
If I had 200 billion dollars, even if you assume it won't grow in value from interest or dividends, I could spend $1 million a day and not run out of money for almost 550 years (547.95 years). So yeah, it's a mental illness to be driven for more when you have beyond what anyone could need.
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Sam "One-Wheel" O'Neil @onewheeloneil.bsky.social · 20/03/2026
It seems that every time a new tech fails to prove itself profitable on the open market, the people who have a vested interest in ensuring it makes money shove it down the throats of schools and public education. Then future generations are left holding the bag.
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Sam "One-Wheel" O'Neil @onewheeloneil.bsky.social · 19/03/2026
Me, to 3yo: Where are you? 3yo, from his room down the hall: I'm in my woom, getting dwessed. What was he wearing when he emerged? His pajama shirt, crocs with socks, no pants and backwards underwear... Dwessed indeed...
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jess m. ☕🍂 @jametc.bsky.social · 18/03/2026
see? here's the thing. A lot of people are like, the earth is fucked, it's beyond salvation, it's hit the tipping point, but time and time again we see that if we just fucking fixed the problem, it rebounds so incredibly fast. Imagine what could be done if people actually cared
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Boze Herrington, Library Owl @sketchesbyboze.bsky.social · 12/03/2026
People think I’m being alarmist when I say they are trying to make you dumb. They feel entitled to control how and to what extent you can access knowledge. They send their kids to tech-free schools while ensuring public school kids can’t read. They want you illiterate.
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