iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

So does the U.S. Secretary of Defense not get tested for cocaine? Seems like, if there was any job in the world that merited drug-testing, it’d be, you know, U.S. Secretary of Defense. I got drug-tested to edit a damn sports website.

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Ted Berg @ogtedberg.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

The cool thing about the toys kids get in goody bags at every birthday party is that they’ll be on the planet forever. Someday the oceans will dry up and on the sun-baked sea bed you’ll find a broken slinky that once held my daughter’s interest for six minutes.

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Ted Berg @ogtedberg.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

Oh are we talking about professional mishaps involving coffee etiquette

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Ted Berg @ogtedberg.bsky.social · 22/09/2026

I have no strongly worded take on the Mets’ managerial situation!

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Ted Berg @ogtedberg.bsky.social · 18/09/2026

Loving the less-online lifestyle. I still haven’t entirely figured out who Hasan Piker is.

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Ted Berg @ogtedberg.bsky.social · 12/09/2026

What do you say if, despite almost all evidence to the contrary (ie your name, your Long Island roots, your face and hair, your overbearing mother), you’re not Jewish, and someone you know wishes you Happy New Year in September? I always just say, “you too,” but then it further misleads people.

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Ted Berg @ogtedberg.bsky.social · 09/09/2026

Shout out to my 3rd grade classmate Bobby, whose precocious skill in song parody has softened the blow of 37 years’ worth of being occasionally subjected to “We Didn’t Start the Fire.” Thirty-seven years, and every time, I sing, “I didn’t fart, you liar,” and the horror abates.

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Ted Berg @ogtedberg.bsky.social · 07/09/2026

Also the Angels and Padres just sold for $4 billion apiece so any owner crying poverty should just sell the team for more money than most of us could ever really conceive of.

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Ted Berg @ogtedberg.bsky.social · 06/09/2026

I was definitely aware of Marvell Wynne as a kid, but not old enough to understand his as a once-in-a-lifetime caliber baseball name.

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Ted Berg @ogtedberg.bsky.social · 06/09/2026

I just dramatically quit my building’s WhatsApp group in solidarity with the super, but not before I dropped a whole lot of shame on the entitled fucks talking shit about him. I am riding on the highest horse right now and have never felt more alive.

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Ted Berg @ogtedberg.bsky.social · 04/09/2026

One hobby I have is scrolling through Venmo and guessing which people’s public payments were actually for drugs.

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Reposted by Ted Berg

Bill Grueskin @bgrueskin.bsky.social · 01/09/2026

Pastor Carl Ruby, of Springfield's Central Christian Church, can state the issue more clearly than 98% of people working in politics today.

"I wish President Trump could hear the mom's wails. The

family wants people to know that this was a suicide and they

want people to know that President Trump, (Stephen) Miller, and Markwayne Mullin's inhumane immigration policies made this happen," Ruby wrote.

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Ted Berg @ogtedberg.bsky.social · 31/08/2026

The solution to the male loneliness epidemic is having a bunch of dudes with whom you can communicate exclusively in quotes from “The Goat” sketch off Adam Sandler’s 1996 album, What the Hell Happened to Me? #havegoodmoshpitting #goodnightoldman #goooooodnight

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Ted Berg @ogtedberg.bsky.social · 26/08/2026

I have a lifelong thing where I don’t sleep well unless I read fiction before bed. As a kid I especially loved the Chronicles of Narnia, and the way those kids are transported into a different, more magical world feels parallel to the experience of reading for me.

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Ted Berg @ogtedberg.bsky.social · 26/08/2026

Jefry Yan’s joy is infectious and pure and I want the Mets to sign him to a lifetime contact even if he sucks.

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Ted Berg @ogtedberg.bsky.social · 25/08/2026

“Does whiskey count as beer?” “Everything’s coming up Milhouse!” “The frogurt is also cursed.” “20 dollars!? I wanted a peanut.” “Videotaping this crime spree is the best idea we’ve ever had!”

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Ted Berg @ogtedberg.bsky.social · 19/08/2026

Ok but what about people who still have a pair of Ray Bans they got with a vision insurance credit in like 2014 and have otherwise never kept a pair of sunglasses for more than like three weeks? My sunglasses aren’t perving on anyone, they’re a triumph of frugality over lack of executive function.

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Ted Berg @ogtedberg.bsky.social · 18/08/2026

Important, and, best I can tell, unreported: Mets prospect Mitch Voit has the middle name Veblen. His father has a phD in economics. Mitch Voit will one day be the first MLB player ever named for Thorstein Veblen. They should jack up his jersey prices and watch them get conspicuously consumed.

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Ted Berg @ogtedberg.bsky.social · 14/08/2026

Pneumonia w/penicillin allergy 1984 Boogey-boarding during a hurricane 1993 Stuff I shouldn’t have lit on fire 1995-2004 Jerry Manuel’s faith in Guillermo Mora 2007 NYC parks truck 2021 Intestinal blockage 2022

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Ted Berg @ogtedberg.bsky.social · 12/08/2026

Did someone TikTok Jamiroquai or something? The number of times I’ve heard Jamiroquai in the past week is virtual insanity.

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Ted Berg @ogtedberg.bsky.social · 12/08/2026

Bunch of people on the ferry taking photos of the Long Island City skyline. That whole skyline exists so people can look at the other, much more impressive skyline, which is right across the river and also very much visible from this boat.

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Ted Berg @ogtedberg.bsky.social · 12/08/2026

What do New Yorkers think about Mamdani's plan to tax the wealthy? To find out, I'm reporting live from Westhampton Country Club

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Ted Berg @ogtedberg.bsky.social · 11/08/2026

Jack Reacher has got the brains and the braun, but what he doesn’t have is access to baseball-reference.com.

An excerpt from Lee Child’s “One Shot” in which Jack Reacher has to go to the library to look up a week-old baseball box score.

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Ted Berg @ogtedberg.bsky.social · 09/08/2026

Shout out to Chappel Roan’s guitar player for bringing back the deedle-deedle-deedle-deedle guitar solo

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Ted Berg @ogtedberg.bsky.social · 08/08/2026

Hard to believe a Trump supporter could be so easily and obviously suckered

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Ted Berg @ogtedberg.bsky.social · 08/08/2026

Does Jefry Yan have a newsletter I could subscribe to?

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Ted Berg @ogtedberg.bsky.social · 06/08/2026

I have seen roughly a thousand people defending Jefry Yan from criticism but no actual criticism. Certainly it's out there but I think this battle is already won. No one under 50 who isn't a moron thinks he's disrespecting the game.

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Ted Berg @ogtedberg.bsky.social · 05/08/2026

Being a responsible Little Free Library user.

A copy of Robert A. Heinlein’s Farnham’s Freehold, to be returned to the Little Free Library from whence it came with a newly added post-it note disclaimer that reads, “WARNING: This book sucks.”

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Ted Berg @ogtedberg.bsky.social · 03/08/2026

Congrats to Daniel Duarte and Robert Stock on never having to go back to Syracuse.

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Ted Berg @ogtedberg.bsky.social · 03/08/2026

Spikerman? She’s not a volleyball bro

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Reposted by Ted Berg

The Onion @theonion.com · 02/08/2026

Moment Of Silence Followed By Hot Dog Race

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Ted Berg @ogtedberg.bsky.social · 02/08/2026

People always frame the Dodgers’ success as a function of their budget instead of their player development or their ability to convince the greatest player in the history of baseball to sign a heavily deferred below-market contract.

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Ted Berg @ogtedberg.bsky.social · 30/07/2026

That which does not kill me only clears room in my stomach for more Taco Bell

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Reposted by Ted Berg

In play, run(s) @mackeysasser.bsky.social · 27/07/2026

GOO UPDATE: still present. possibly getting stronger.

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Ted Berg @ogtedberg.bsky.social · 27/07/2026

Once in a while something on the street or the subway is so extraordinary that New Yorkers break protocol and acknowledge strangers in public. This half-ring of fresh yellow goo on a Church St. sidewalk is uniting the people of lower Manhattan.

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Ted Berg @ogtedberg.bsky.social · 23/07/2026

In 1919, Home Run Baker led the Yankees with 10 homers. That offseason, the Yankees got Babe Ruth. Baker's whole family got scarlet fever, his wife died, and he quit baseball. Ruth hit 54 homers in 1920, shattering his own all-time record. In 1921, Home Run Baker returned to the Yankees. #awkward

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Ted Berg @ogtedberg.bsky.social · 16/07/2026

Are we not making Falklands War jokes on here? Too soon?

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Ted Berg @ogtedberg.bsky.social · 14/07/2026

Hardest throwing pitcher ever AND he’s a Pokémon fan!? My 8-year-old just melted.

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Ted Berg @ogtedberg.bsky.social · 13/07/2026

The Merkin Valdez of his generation

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Reposted by Ted Berg

Peter @notalawyer.bsky.social · 12/07/2026

victory lapping on this one

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Ted Berg @ogtedberg.bsky.social · 10/07/2026

GTFO with so-called “fried chicken” places that only serve chicken tenders. I want a gd thigh

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Ted Berg @ogtedberg.bsky.social · 10/07/2026

A soccer guy I know nothing about is apparently in the news so I will now reiterate an uninformed but thoughtfully crafted tweet I did on Twitter, some previous time this guy was in the news. It goes a little something like this:

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Ted Berg @ogtedberg.bsky.social · 08/07/2026

When I was in college, I changed all my desktop sounds to .WAV files of quotes from movies. Instead of "You've got mail!" I had Billy Madison saying, "Here's a nice piece of shit," and now for the past 25 years I have been saying that to myself whenever I get a new email.

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Ted Berg @ogtedberg.bsky.social · 07/07/2026

I don’t especially like rice or beans but goddamn do I like rice and beans.

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Ted Berg @ogtedberg.bsky.social · 07/07/2026

I don't know much about Phoebe Bridgers or her music but I've just learned she has an album titled "Stranger in the Alps," and, as someone who has toyed with "Mr. Falcon" as a band name, I appreciate that.

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