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OGfattcatt

@ogfattcatt.bsky.social
651 followers 732 following 8.4K posts

King of the Lowbies | The Arby’s of Shitposters | Hot, for all you know He/Him

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OGfattcatt @ogfattcatt.bsky.social · 13h
The year is 2029, democrats are applauding the first AI Sexbot capable of passing the Bechdel Test. The year is 2034, democrats reluctantly allow a Jeffrey Epstein statue to be erected on capital hill in exchange for a vote to study the potential harm of legalized child labor over the next 40 years
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OGfattcatt @ogfattcatt.bsky.social · 13h
Sorry southerners but In-n-Out is still undefeated in the category of “just ok regional burger chains”
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OGfattcatt @ogfattcatt.bsky.social · 13h
Can officially cross “Eat at Whataburger” off my bucket list. Next item up, “Re-evaluate bucket list”
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OGfattcatt @ogfattcatt.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
“I have a gun”
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OGfattcatt @ogfattcatt.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
The most obvious clickbait article you’ve ever seen: “Barack Obama is inside your house right now! He’s touching all the cheese in your fridge!” My parents: [forwarding it to the entire family chat] “this is unacceptable! How can anyone be a Democrat these days!?”
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OGfattcatt @ogfattcatt.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Judge: “did you complete your court mandated anger management?” Me, standing at the defense bench wearing a fur suit: “so, ok. What happened was, I THOUGHT I signed up for a ‘Fury’ convention, but actually…”
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OGfattcatt @ogfattcatt.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
A cartoon of two sad scientists sitting at a bar counter. One says to the other, “My research biologist told me she’s been faking her organisms.” There. Pay up, New Yorker.
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OGfattcatt @ogfattcatt.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
Let that be a lesson to you posters just starting out. You never know which one is gonna put you on the map so just keep skeet’n.
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OGfattcatt @ogfattcatt.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
Death befoe proofreading…
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OGfattcatt @ogfattcatt.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
I’m going to a Muslim wedding next week and I’m really excited to- wait, George Bush, Barack Obama, and Donald Trump can’t see this, can they?
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OGfattcatt @ogfattcatt.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
It’s fun to see Taylor Swift fans experiencing the Gen Z equivalent of hard rock fans in the 70s when their favorite artists got clean & sober. And also what alt rock fans in the 90s experienced when their favorite artists converted to Christian rock.
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OGfattcatt @ogfattcatt.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
I’ve never been to Texas of my own volition
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OGfattcatt @ogfattcatt.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
The moral of “Hunchback of Notre Dame” is sometimes you should fuck a weird little freak because it makes shitty people mad.
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Reposted by OGfattcatt
gwen 🌶️👹 @gwenpepperoni.myatproto.social · 16/09/2026
ed sheeran is lifting the bestiality ban for supporting acts.
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OGfattcatt @ogfattcatt.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
I’m going to start my own social media site built around the sole premise that trans people can be as mean as they want. Also no character limit on mean trans posts.
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OGfattcatt @ogfattcatt.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
The year 2034. Doctor: “before I provide your biopsy results I legally have to read… [weary sigh] just… St. Mary’s Hospital is proud to be sponsored by DraftKings, offering patients 4:1 odds on their diagnosis predictions. Just choose terminal or non-terminal for your chance to win up to $50,000…”
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OGfattcatt @ogfattcatt.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
Acclimating toward becoming a “comfortable getting fully naked in the gym locker room” guy by counting the guys who have worse looking asses than me. The ratio hasn’t quite shifted in my favor yet, but it’s certainly trending that way…
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OGfattcatt @ogfattcatt.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
Federal Beastiality Ignorers
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OGfattcatt @ogfattcatt.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
I’m in favor of sports bans. Not the transgender ones, I mean literally just banning entire sports. Swimming? pointless. We live on land. Golf? boring. It’s not a sport if you need to tuck in your shirt. Pole vaulting? What are you even doing? Get a fuckin job, dipshit.
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OGfattcatt @ogfattcatt.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
Being interrogated by the FBI Agent: “listen, you’re in deep shit. It’s only a matter of time before our agents uncover the truth so this is your ONE chance to… what? Why are you looking at me like that?” Me: “are you… one of the… y’know… one of the beastiality ones?” Agent: “god damn it…”
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OGfattcatt @ogfattcatt.bsky.social · 11/09/2026
How to sell transition surgery to the right: Ok, pretend my body is a Jeffrey Epstein flight log - and my penis is Donald Trumps name. Now Donald Trump’s name is for sure on this flight log, BUT… wouldn’t it be neat if there was a way we could remove it and just act like it was never there at all?
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OGfattcatt @ogfattcatt.bsky.social · 10/09/2026
History: “it’s super easy. If you wanna win, just make sure everyone gets rights.” Dems: “Yep. Except Palestinians” History: “no… Everyone.” Dems: “Riiight… everyone but trans people.” History: “no!” Dems: “sorry, trans ATHLETES, I mean.” History: “Damn it! This is why you keep getting Nazis!”
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OGfattcatt @ogfattcatt.bsky.social · 10/09/2026
Progressive Democrat running a flawless campaign, mere inches from a historic landslide victory: “hmm… I wonder what would happen if I…” *throws trans people under the bus for no apparent reason, careening their campaign to an ugly screeching halt* “Oh wow, well damn, fuck the Left, I guess…”
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OGfattcatt @ogfattcatt.bsky.social · 10/09/2026
Schrödinger’s Catfish is a thought experiment that posits any hot girl you’re DMing online is in a superposition of both hot girl and creepy old dude until you meet irl and discover they are, in fact, a creepy old dude.
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OGfattcatt @ogfattcatt.bsky.social · 10/09/2026
Trump is polling way ahead in the “documented severe brain injury” crowd. Just unprecedented numbers…
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OGfattcatt @ogfattcatt.bsky.social · 08/09/2026
I was hired by the founders of a small rehab to make them a legitimate player in the local market. Over 3 years I raised this tiny by coaching and investing in our little rag tag staff. As of today we’re seen as the #1 threat to to business by the big corporate competitors in our area
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OGfattcatt @ogfattcatt.bsky.social · 05/09/2026
They should make a social media app where before you can friend someone you have to shitpost battle them and then and catch them in the Bluesky equivalent of a pokeball.
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OGfattcatt @ogfattcatt.bsky.social · 05/09/2026
Yes (hedging my bets)
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OGfattcatt @ogfattcatt.bsky.social · 02/09/2026
Me: “heck yeah, ate good today, high protein, low sugar, all organic. Crushed my workout, kept hydrated. Sticking to my health commitments!” Body: “proud of you, man! We should get 26 donuts to celebrate!”
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OGfattcatt @ogfattcatt.bsky.social · 02/09/2026
Today I pissed a pair of pants I wasn’t even wearing. Let’s see Harry Potter do that…
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OGfattcatt @ogfattcatt.bsky.social · 31/08/2026
Sitting on my hand on the plane ride to Dallas so when I get to my hotel I can give myself a Walker Texas Stranger.
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OGfattcatt @ogfattcatt.bsky.social · 30/08/2026
Natural selection is just getting lazy now
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OGfattcatt @ogfattcatt.bsky.social · 29/08/2026
I have to go to a bachelor party for my BIL and his friends that I don’t know. I’m not good at conversing with strange men. Here’s my list of ice breaker topics so far: -Sydney Sweeney: Worth It? - Would you eat a person if you had to? - Ways my body is failing me - Communism - What % gay are you?
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OGfattcatt @ogfattcatt.bsky.social · 29/08/2026
Ope. They Milkshake Ducked the Minneapolis Spider-Man… Wow that was an extremely internet sentence…
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OGfattcatt @ogfattcatt.bsky.social · 27/08/2026
Ok, welcome to the Empire. Your job is going to be Walker Pilot… No not the super cool AT-ATs… Yeah the AT-ST’s are pretty cool to but you’re actually gonna be in an AT-RT… It’s the one that’s literally just legs with an open cockpit and tiny gun… Yeah it’s super dumb, idk why we have them
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OGfattcatt @ogfattcatt.bsky.social · 24/08/2026
J Jonah Jamison looking at the photo of Spider-Man beating up Jake Lang; “…we’re gonna let this one go.”
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OGfattcatt @ogfattcatt.bsky.social · 24/08/2026
The concept of last words is extremely stressful for me - not the part about saying something profound and memorable, I’m pretty confident I could do that - no, for me it’s the timing. Imagine you say your wise, haunting thing but then you pull through & live a few more days. Super awkward.
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OGfattcatt @ogfattcatt.bsky.social · 22/08/2026
*placing an entire leg of Iberico ham on the deli counter* Clerk, nervously eyeing a photo of me behind the counter: “uh… I’m… I’m supposed to ask you if you’re planning to eat this alone or...” Me: *silently slides him cash* Clerk: “bc for one person the salt level is...” Me: *slides more cash*
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OGfattcatt @ogfattcatt.bsky.social · 21/08/2026
Been getting into Dense Bean Salads lately. Yeah. Doin a lot of fartin. At work mostly. In coworkers offices. At the bank once or twice. Y’know, just around. You down with the DBS life?
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OGfattcatt @ogfattcatt.bsky.social · 21/08/2026
Oh yeah? Well can AI do THIS? *gets publicly and embarrassingly shot down by the first girl I ever asked out in 9th grade, sparking an inferiority complex that endures well into my late 30s, which I channel into wacky humor in a thinly-veiled & emotionally-stunted need to be liked by strangers*
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Reposted by OGfattcatt
alexis simpson @amutepiggy.bsky.social · 17/08/2026
enjoy Beeeef (meat made of bees)
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OGfattcatt @ogfattcatt.bsky.social · 16/08/2026
They should make a bonsai tree you can grow in like an hour and a half
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OGfattcatt @ogfattcatt.bsky.social · 15/08/2026
Me, dying of salmonella, giddy about saving $16 by eating very spoiled leftovers instead of going out to eat.
static.klipy.com
The Simpsons: Homer and Marge by Trash Can
ALT: The Simpsons: Homer and Marge by Trash Can
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OGfattcatt @ogfattcatt.bsky.social · 15/08/2026
Joe Rogan’s entire job is just being surprised by obvious shit that other people tell him.
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OGfattcatt @ogfattcatt.bsky.social · 14/08/2026
Idk who needs to hear this but: “They are NOT mad at you. You are misrepresenting this in your mind. They are, in fact, FURIOUS with you, and frankly, they have every right to be… What you did was bad. You’re a bad person and you deserve every bad thing that is 100% going to happen to you now.”
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OGfattcatt @ogfattcatt.bsky.social · 10/08/2026
“It was almost frightening. Absolutely wild. There was the soda bottle thing, and the child was there - and I remember there were about 4 of us standing around in bathrobes… Jeffrey Epstein was there, he will back me up in this, someone call my good friend Jeffr-“ *aids rush him from the room*
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OGfattcatt @ogfattcatt.bsky.social · 10/08/2026
*Forcibly inhibiting your serotonin reuptake*
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OGfattcatt @ogfattcatt.bsky.social · 10/08/2026
Training the new theater intern: “oh and hey, there’s this ugly guy who kind of lives here… he messes with shit and plays random organ stings sometimes, - huge tool. Anyway, management is gonna say try to catch him if you see him but we don’t even get dental so we spread rumors he’s really a ghost”
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OGfattcatt @ogfattcatt.bsky.social · 08/08/2026
You know what? Next time I take a big shit, I’m gonna run around like a lunatic for a few minutes afterwards. Maybe these animals are onto something we forgot about somewhere in our evolution. Maybe we’re missing out…
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OGfattcatt @ogfattcatt.bsky.social · 07/08/2026
A dating app for sapiosexuals: Mindr
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