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matt

@nottherealmatthew.bsky.social
334 followers 285 following 491 posts

late 20s/early 30s baltimoron computer guy, opinions my own and not reflective of my employer

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matt @nottherealmatthew.bsky.social · 09/10/2026
All I know about her is the one post where she says her album is a “thicc queen” and that she was working on some “final ass mixes” and that she’s descended from the founders of Macys I think?
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matt @nottherealmatthew.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
Median voter
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matt @nottherealmatthew.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
Lamar hurt, team subject to the Trump Curse, just fade the Ravens smh
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matt @nottherealmatthew.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
Baseball’s Princess Diana
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matt @nottherealmatthew.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
As an O’s fan I recognize only one Greek Freak
Former Orioles and Braves outfielder Nick Markakis. He is wearing a matching light green check pattern shirt and pants and standing somewhat awkwardly.
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matt @nottherealmatthew.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
Thinking about Haus of Decline’s Trey Yesavage comic from last year
Haus of Decline comic about Toronto Blue Jays pitcher Trey Yesavage:

First panel: Woman (ostensibly Alex Haus herself) says “Wow Trey Yesavage you’re my hero!”

Second panel: Trey Yesavage responds “I was born after 9/11”

Third panel: Woman looks at him in agony, wrinkles visible

Fourth panel: Yesavage’s teammate (ostensibly Alejandro Kirk) says “Kid, you gotta stop introducing yourself to people that way”
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matt @nottherealmatthew.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
I’m more embarrassed for the Cowboys than I am happy that the Ravens won that
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matt @nottherealmatthew.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
Torn between “we’re terrible it’s panic time” and “maybe Tyler Shough is good actually”
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matt @nottherealmatthew.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
There was one time my dad and I went on a bus trip to a NASCAR race in Dover (I know, I know) and this one lady drank so many white russians on the way there that as soon as she got to the stands she passed out and slept through the ~3 hours or so of the race
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matt @nottherealmatthew.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
Mandatory for all soldiers to speak a lil Chinese for em
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matt @nottherealmatthew.bsky.social · 13/09/2026
Somebody’s gotta win that division
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matt @nottherealmatthew.bsky.social · 13/09/2026
Hey thanks for Declan Doyle though, he seems to have taught Zay Flowers how to run forward
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matt @nottherealmatthew.bsky.social · 13/09/2026
Saw someone on here insinuate this was “humiliating” to Big Al as if a guy who would have washed out of the league in other circumstances getting to pitch some low leverage relief for a couple weeks, get a week off, and then repeat the cycle again isn’t a half decent deal
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matt @nottherealmatthew.bsky.social · 12/09/2026
“Maryland Mentioned” meme with Rei from NGE
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matt @nottherealmatthew.bsky.social · 11/09/2026
Achewood “Damn! That answer could use some work!”
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matt @nottherealmatthew.bsky.social · 08/09/2026
Also my answer to the OP is Kanye (for obvious reasons) and Arcade Fire (listened to the first two LPs cover to cover many times, liked their stuff up to and including Reflektor, but between the Win Butler allegations and Everything Now and WE being shit I cannot be assed to listen to them again
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matt @nottherealmatthew.bsky.social · 08/09/2026
Trampled Under Foot came on in the car today and I forgot how good that groove is, would have been interesting to see if they moved in a poppier/dancier direction if they’d continued into the 80s (I think they would have done more with synths/keyboards if nothing else)
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matt @nottherealmatthew.bsky.social · 07/09/2026
I’m too O’s brained because my first thought was “I figure Polar Bear can get to 40 but I didn’t know he stole that much” and not “wait isn’t Shohei in the NL?”
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matt @nottherealmatthew.bsky.social · 06/09/2026
Cynthia Nixon would never fumble Kim Gordon
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matt @nottherealmatthew.bsky.social · 05/09/2026
I give the English a lot of flak and they deserve some of it but I can’t act like I wouldn’t be all over all three of the things shown in this video
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matt @nottherealmatthew.bsky.social · 30/08/2026
Bernie Sanders with a fake chyron that says “women be shopping”
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matt @nottherealmatthew.bsky.social · 30/08/2026
Deep fried image of Orioles corner infielder Coby Mayo captioned “honey check the expiration date, Mayo is giving me the runs”
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matt @nottherealmatthew.bsky.social · 30/08/2026
They’re a bunch of chuds but I’ll be damned if they couldn’t rock
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matt @nottherealmatthew.bsky.social · 24/08/2026
Guy I know ended up a Chiefs fan this way so it could work out for you
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matt @nottherealmatthew.bsky.social · 23/08/2026
Polar Bear is trying to singlehandedly will this team to the third WC spot you love to see it
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matt @nottherealmatthew.bsky.social · 20/08/2026
An all timer
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matt @nottherealmatthew.bsky.social · 14/08/2026
That’s a lot of people
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matt @nottherealmatthew.bsky.social · 13/08/2026
Man’s got the Cancellation Sword of Damocles dangling above his head constantly and yet!
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matt @nottherealmatthew.bsky.social · 13/08/2026
No clue what screenshot you mean which is a bit telling isn’t it
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matt @nottherealmatthew.bsky.social · 11/08/2026
He was Dominican and his real name was Barry Rodriguez everyone knows that
Tweet from The Kid Mero of Bodega Boys/Desus and Mero fame with a fake Dominican birth certificate for Babe Ruth, aka Barry Rodriguez (my favorite detail is that Robinson Cano is listed as president of the Dominican Republic)
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matt @nottherealmatthew.bsky.social · 07/08/2026
homie what set you from
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matt @nottherealmatthew.bsky.social · 01/08/2026
I don’t know why people act like Nolan is completely humorless, like sure his movies are on the whole tonally serious but they have their moments
static.klipy.com
Tenet Hot
Alt: Tenet “I ordered my hot sauce an hour ago” scene
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matt @nottherealmatthew.bsky.social · 01/08/2026
My genuine reaction
John Brown, one of the greatest Americans to have ever lived and who did nothing wrong except not killing more slavers
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Reposted by matt
Limix Colonel @kastor.sh · 23/07/2026
It’s finally out
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matt @nottherealmatthew.bsky.social · 31/07/2026
Not unconvinced this isn’t an elaborate Tim Robinson-esque bit
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matt @nottherealmatthew.bsky.social · 31/07/2026
Bro might be dating Mr. Mxyzptlk
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matt @nottherealmatthew.bsky.social · 26/07/2026
Heston Kjerstad Bring Him Hjome poster
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matt @nottherealmatthew.bsky.social · 25/07/2026
My future kids: Dad how good was CES’ 2026 Linsanity run? Me:
static.klipy.com
Vince McMahon Crying: He Was Special
Alt: Vince McMahon Crying: He Was Special
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matt @nottherealmatthew.bsky.social · 25/07/2026
Christian Encarnacion-Strand this year for some reason
Barry Bonds
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matt @nottherealmatthew.bsky.social · 24/07/2026
my genuine reaction to learning this is actually happening
static.klipy.com
Girl's Crazy Possession: Anna/Karly (1981 Movie)
Alt: Possession (1981) subway scene
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matt @nottherealmatthew.bsky.social · 19/07/2026
Neil Cicierega “what if the world was made of pudding” Tumblr post
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matt @nottherealmatthew.bsky.social · 15/07/2026
Hearing reports that it points at a green light at the end of his former love’s dock???
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matt @nottherealmatthew.bsky.social · 11/07/2026
static.klipy.com
Black Dynamite I Sell Drugs To The Community
Alt: Black Dynamite I Sell Drugs To The Community
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matt @nottherealmatthew.bsky.social · 09/07/2026
Genuinely the only way I can enjoy Orioles baseball, wish more people had this mindset They’re not gonna do much this year but as long as we get some fun stories to tell I’m ok
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matt @nottherealmatthew.bsky.social · 08/07/2026
Don’t forget Jim “my proudest enemy is the guy I shot in ‘Nam” Webb
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matt @nottherealmatthew.bsky.social · 08/07/2026
BREAKING: rich white dude who lived in Florida for several years is a chud
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matt @nottherealmatthew.bsky.social · 08/07/2026
“Suck my fucking balls” -Ryan O’Hearn (something he got caught saying on a hot mic once lmao)
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matt @nottherealmatthew.bsky.social · 05/07/2026
As that one former B*rst**l guy on the other site used to say “O’s win 2/3, probably sweep”
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matt @nottherealmatthew.bsky.social · 04/07/2026
Disk Horse Bot ass post
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matt @nottherealmatthew.bsky.social · 01/07/2026
O’s only have two more payments left (just don’t look up how many more we have to Chris Davis💀)
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