notmacksy @notmacksy.bsky.social · 08/04/2026you’ve heard of friends with benefits now get ready for 0142
notmacksy @notmacksy.bsky.social · 07/03/2026‘my daughter got him for christmas and now sa… tan resides within our home and we need to shift the curse.’ 2124
notmacksy @notmacksy.bsky.social · 25/02/2026tell you what it’s been 10 years since ive been able to have a bath uninterrupted, but now i can. so i says to myself i says lucy, you’ve a nice big bath there let’s av it. 150
notmacksy @notmacksy.bsky.social · 21/02/2026someone went to hug me yesterday but there are only 4 people on this planet who are allowed to do that 110
notmacksy @notmacksy.bsky.social · 21/02/2026giving saturday tea time telly a go. so far it’s just back to back peter crouch adverts? 463
notmacksy @notmacksy.bsky.social · 04/06/2025fuckin wednesday innit. the uk’s official tea-at-your-dads day. 050
notmacksy @notmacksy.bsky.social · 27/05/2025boy are you a rant in my notes app because im not that girl anymore and i don’t want to look at you 021
notmacksy @notmacksy.bsky.social · 24/05/2025my discover tl is full of homoerotic comic strips and not really sure why but i respect the trade and wish them well 050
notmacksy @notmacksy.bsky.social · 23/05/2025me (chewing my lunch instead of dislocating my jaw and swallowing it whole): yum yum! a snake: 1334
notmacksy @notmacksy.bsky.social · 21/05/2025wonder how many crisps david ginola has eaten in his life so far 151
notmacksy @notmacksy.bsky.social · 17/05/2025before a few white lies on my date come back to bite me - what’s the quickest way to become ceo of metro goldwyn mayer? 380
notmacksy @notmacksy.bsky.social · 16/05/2025when you turn 50 you receive an aerial photo of your house taken from a helicopter in the eighties and you have to display it in a brown frame 1367
notmacksy @notmacksy.bsky.social · 15/05/2025jokes on you lane assist i actually love suddenly swerving dangerously close to parked cars at full speed 3110
notmacksy @notmacksy.bsky.social · 15/05/2025just wanna be loved like our local farmer loves setting fire to a big ol’ pile of deleterious materials 050
notmacksy @notmacksy.bsky.social · 14/05/2025bet if shakespeare was still alive he’d be saying things like ‘egg mayo? egg no you may not’. also he’d be really old and likely in a LOT of pain. 0152
notmacksy @notmacksy.bsky.social · 14/05/2025a peloton class where it’s just a load of us getting outta bed 171
Reposted by notmacksyTed @tedseven.bsky.social · 10/05/2025Looks like Warren G is on the streets, trying to consume 041
notmacksy @notmacksy.bsky.social · 09/05/2025friday me in the school mum group chat: fucking hell i do not give a fuck please have mercy oh maaan shut the fuck uuuup sunday me in the smgc: heyyyy what years my kid in xoxo 150
notmacksy @notmacksy.bsky.social · 18/04/2025i’ll just stop you there, i’m having a *very* good friday 180
Reposted by notmacksybort @crushbort.bsky.social · 16/03/2025mrs. gennaro I am sorry to have to tell you this but your husband was killed in a work accident. they made dinosaurs real for fun and he got eaten by one while sitting on the toilet. he wasn’t using it he died abandoning children 6278761660
notmacksy @notmacksy.bsky.social · 16/03/2025grandmas lent me a nightie that makes me look like i’m about to meet up with several other women wearing the same one to bestow ungodly atrocities unto people who have wronged us 280
notmacksy @notmacksy.bsky.social · 11/03/2025nobody: 13yo me naming all my boyfriends that ‘went to a different school’: 071
notmacksy @notmacksy.bsky.social · 11/03/2025old people love telling you that when they got caught smoking their dad made them smoke a whole pack but sorry what’s your point doris that sounds fuckin mint 070
notmacksy @notmacksy.bsky.social · 10/03/2025am so tired ive just shaved one leg then sacked off doing the other 080
