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noodlejetski :verified_gay:

@noodlejetski.masto.ai.ap.brid.gy
27 followers 9 following 836 posts

🏳️‍🌈🇵🇱 🌉 bridged from ⁂ masto.ai/@noodlejetski, follow @ap.brid.gy to interact

PostsRepliesMedia
noodlejetski :verified_gay: @noodlejetski.masto.ai.ap.brid.gy · 24/10/2026
finally, shoes for Cybertruck owners
a pair of ugly Nike Mind 001 slip-on shoes that have extremely weird angles and somehow do look a bit like small Cybertruck
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noodlejetski :verified_gay: @noodlejetski.masto.ai.ap.brid.gy · 22/10/2026
is it the passage of time
a BBC Indepth headline: The real reason US politicians are getting older
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noodlejetski :verified_gay: @noodlejetski.masto.ai.ap.brid.gy · 04/10/2026
a pokój na Ziemi
tabliczka ostrzegawcza: UWAGA PRACE NA WYSOKOŚCI
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noodlejetski :verified_gay: @noodlejetski.masto.ai.ap.brid.gy · 14/09/2026
Some have questioned why those officiating the competition in Beijing last weekend did not intervene when the athlete soiled herself, given that Hyrox penalises acts including spitting and littering.Airbud meme: ain't no rule says a participant can't shit herself
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noodlejetski :verified_gay: @noodlejetski.masto.ai.ap.brid.gy · 09/09/2026
there's simply no way we're not living in a simulation #uspol
a BBC headline in my RSS reader: White House pulls Tetris-style 'Build The Wall' game after copyright concern
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noodlejetski :verified_gay: @noodlejetski.masto.ai.ap.brid.gy · 18/08/2026
> 'XD’ is a commonly used Polish emoticon. Different capitalisations and the number of xs and ds influence the meaning. It was adopted from the West’s usage as an expression akin to 😆 when Poland properly embraced the internet in the 2000s, but unlike in the West it […] [Original post on masto.ai]
a very pink picture with a frog looking at the meme peruser. text says: 'I am addicted to saying "XD", ppl think I'm cringe but I'm just 😭 Polish 😭'
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noodlejetski :verified_gay: @noodlejetski.masto.ai.ap.brid.gy · 18/08/2026
zadowolony Kłapouchy leży w domku z patyków. podpis: "Nie musisz wracać z wakacji jeśli nigdzie nie pojechałeś".
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noodlejetski :verified_gay: @noodlejetski.masto.ai.ap.brid.gy · 08/07/2026
@dansup those animations might look fancy, but they're a nightmare to scroll through on my phone.
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noodlejetski :verified_gay: @noodlejetski.masto.ai.ap.brid.gy · 06/07/2026
the lease is up.
a 3D model of a roughly humanoid creature with long arms. textured with multicoloured noise. the caption reads:

You have been visited by

the slönk

He possesses all photos in the observable universe
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noodlejetski :verified_gay: @noodlejetski.masto.ai.ap.brid.gy · 28/06/2026
@JensJot @discobear @bdatlrides so orderly!
a file manager dialog showing "Sort by > Size" option
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noodlejetski :verified_gay: @noodlejetski.masto.ai.ap.brid.gy · 24/06/2026
lambda dziara #SłowaNaOpak
wzięte z internetu zdjęcie czyjegoś nadgarstka z wytatuowaną grecką literą lambda
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noodlejetski :verified_gay: @noodlejetski.masto.ai.ap.brid.gy · 20/06/2026
wow so glad to see that Apex Legends removing Linux support has paid off and they're not being plagued by those horrible cheaters anymore since a year and a h- redlib.catsarch.com/r/apexlegends/c… @gamingonlinux
Additionally, we executed a highly focused and targeted ban wave of the top 100 positions on leaderboards for each platform. As a result, you may notice some high profile names missing from the leaderboards. The wave resulted in the following bans:
Console - 79
PC - 7
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noodlejetski :verified_gay: @noodlejetski.masto.ai.ap.brid.gy · 11/06/2026
author: Mx Morgan www.inprnt.com/gallery/mxmorgan mxmorgan.threadless.com/mens/t-shir…
a drawing of a hellhound with flames in Pride colours coming out of its mouth. its eyes are pure white. it's drooling. it's menacing. it's captioned "I will not apologize for my nature".
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noodlejetski :verified_gay: @noodlejetski.masto.ai.ap.brid.gy · 05/06/2026
a mockup DS9 title card: "Dax' adventures in AO3"
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noodlejetski :verified_gay: @noodlejetski.masto.ai.ap.brid.gy · 04/06/2026
heh.
Quark: that's the 35th Rule.Dax: Oh, you're right. What's the 34th?
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noodlejetski :verified_gay: @noodlejetski.masto.ai.ap.brid.gy · 01/06/2026
heard great things about this brand
packaging of the Mr Clean MagicEraser, except that the brand and all the text are reduced to absolute gibberish:

Meb Cleenb MeebleEeble
12x SONKLE WITH DONKLE
0 pads (you didn't deserve them)

OREGANO

1 PEE/ALEELOOLEE
99999 AAAAAAAAAA
(PAIN + SUFFERING)

HORSEHOLD CLELELELE PALT
THIS PART IS IN SPANISH I DON'T SPEAK SPANISH

*help I don't know if I can do this much longer
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noodlejetski :verified_gay: @noodlejetski.masto.ai.ap.brid.gy · 31/05/2026
ze wczora #wroclaw #Pride
ręcznie robiony znak trzymany przez kogoś w trakcie Marszu Równości: "możesz być każdym, więc BĄDŹ SOBĄ"
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noodlejetski :verified_gay: @noodlejetski.masto.ai.ap.brid.gy · 30/05/2026
Mama: jak będziesz dorosły wspomnisz moje słowa

Ja wspominający mamy słowa: [stockowe zdjęcie przestawiające osobę leżącą na kozetce u psychoterapeuty]
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noodlejetski :verified_gay: @noodlejetski.masto.ai.ap.brid.gy · 23/05/2026
a comic made from a stock photo. a waiter is picking up a plate with the unfinished meal from a smiling customer's table.

waiter: Do you wanna box for your leftovers?
customer: Nah, I hate violence, you can have them.
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noodlejetski :verified_gay: @noodlejetski.masto.ai.ap.brid.gy · 15/05/2026
that's weekend plans all sorted www.tumblr.com/windows95tips/357179…
a Windows 95 welcome dialog:

Welcome to Windows 95
Did you know...
If you listen to CLOUDS.MID backwards, you will go to sleep and have an amazing dream. In it, one by one, you meet the Microsoft Windows 95 Product Team.
Finally, you get to Mr. Gates. You reach out to shake his hand, but instead, he puts something in your palm. He smiles. You wake up.

In your hand will be a small, white egg.
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noodlejetski :verified_gay: @noodlejetski.masto.ai.ap.brid.gy · 26/04/2026
yeah, you've just said you did. with a towel.
the opening paragraph of The Verge article:
I knew things were not quite right when I had to throw a towel over a broken Ikea lamp to block out its light. How did I get here? I cover fancy and capable tech for a living, and yet, it took me two years to get [...]
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noodlejetski :verified_gay: @noodlejetski.masto.ai.ap.brid.gy · 20/04/2026
something something Monday morning something
a photo of a bearded person with an expression of determination on their face, with superimposed text:
Daily brain workout
2 sets of alphabet
2 sets of counting to 10
4 minutes of trying to spell restaront
Name animals to failure
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noodlejetski :verified_gay: @noodlejetski.masto.ai.ap.brid.gy · 17/04/2026
introducing: the Focks™
a pair of dark green socks with yellow toe bits, featuring multiple foxes in multiple poses.
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noodlejetski :verified_gay: @noodlejetski.masto.ai.ap.brid.gy · 16/04/2026
how much is that in steel beams
a BBC headline: Europe has 'maybe six weeks of jet fuel left', energy boss warns
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noodlejetski :verified_gay: @noodlejetski.masto.ai.ap.brid.gy · 16/04/2026
new favourite spring song has just dropped "St George, go to God and get the keys from Him, unlock the earth, and let the grass out. cover the ground with the grass, and the trees with leaves, and us, the young ones, with wreaths. when the month of May comes, we'll […] [Original post on masto.ai]
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noodlejetski :verified_gay: @noodlejetski.masto.ai.ap.brid.gy · 13/04/2026
a post by isawken:

I got fired from my job reading erotic fiction for audiobooks because I kept pronouncing "penetrates" like it was a Greek philosopher
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noodlejetski :verified_gay: @noodlejetski.masto.ai.ap.brid.gy · 29/03/2026
ohmygodohmygodohmygod
Caravan Palace on Youtube: Get ready for our new single, composed for @mousethegame
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noodlejetski :verified_gay: @noodlejetski.masto.ai.ap.brid.gy · 25/03/2026
hmmmm, I *was* thinking of getting a keeb.
Keychron (a keyboard manufacturer) having a spring sale with 20% off sitewide
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noodlejetski :verified_gay: @noodlejetski.masto.ai.ap.brid.gy · 25/03/2026
I'm sure the poor lads figure it out soon
the headline of a 404 Media article: Why It's Good to Jack Off Frequently, According to Science

a partially cut off blurb of the article opens with "Masturbation has long been a scientific «mystery»"
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noodlejetski :verified_gay: @noodlejetski.masto.ai.ap.brid.gy · 18/03/2026
[citation needed]
an abstract of an article beginning with "Humans do not have a tail"
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noodlejetski :verified_gay: @noodlejetski.masto.ai.ap.brid.gy · 16/03/2026
a post by @TweetPotato314

marine biologist: what should we call it

boss: sperm whale

marine biologist: um something else

boss: jizz dolphin

marine biologist: sperm whale's good
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noodlejetski :verified_gay: @noodlejetski.masto.ai.ap.brid.gy · 09/03/2026
a screenshot from my Fedi app showing a confirmation message after I told it to hide the my9games hashtag.
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noodlejetski :verified_gay: @noodlejetski.masto.ai.ap.brid.gy · 08/03/2026
always love to see a one item bundle discount
Steam offering me Slay the Spire 2 in two prices: regular for 74.99 PLN and in a bundle with Slay the Spire 1 with a 10% discount. since I've already got the first one in my library, it's basically a 10% discount for the same game.
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noodlejetski :verified_gay: @noodlejetski.masto.ai.ap.brid.gy · 05/03/2026
a post by @BartineNatalie

therapist: and what do we do when we are sad?
me: apologize continuously to everyone I have conversation with
therapist: no
me: sorry

(if you decide to make a joke about being Canadian then I'm afraid you're not very original)
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noodlejetski :verified_gay: @noodlejetski.masto.ai.ap.brid.gy · 03/03/2026
apdejt apdejtu
dwa elegancko ubrane pieski wychodzą z restauracji z zadowolonymi pyszczkami, jeden z nich mówi "wspaniały lokal". na markizie restauracji widnieje jego nazwa – WSZYSTKO CO ZE STOŁU SPADŁO.
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noodlejetski :verified_gay: @noodlejetski.masto.ai.ap.brid.gy · 26/02/2026
co za przemyślany pomysł na slogan dla budowanych blisko rzeki mieszkań w mieście Wrocław kropka pe el
banner reklamowy na budowanym bloku inwestycji Przystań Reymonta z hasłem "tu Odra przyciąga". mieszkania od 555000 zł.
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noodlejetski :verified_gay: @noodlejetski.masto.ai.ap.brid.gy · 15/02/2026
they've got delivery services for everything here
a silver van with a big black "MILFS" decal on its side
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noodlejetski :verified_gay: @noodlejetski.masto.ai.ap.brid.gy · 14/02/2026
a post by Victor LaValle:

BOOK CHALLENGE!

Think of five books that changed your life then keep that information to yourself.
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noodlejetski :verified_gay: @noodlejetski.masto.ai.ap.brid.gy · 11/02/2026
love me a high quality FOSS bug report
an issue reported on FluffyChat's Github tracker: "I have a bug on my fluffy chat it disburbed me" is both the title and the content of the report.
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noodlejetski :verified_gay: @noodlejetski.masto.ai.ap.brid.gy · 09/02/2026
takie trochę mieszane sygnały
plakat na przystanku:
5 frakcji to nie 5 koszy
poniżej prosty schemat kuchni pokazujący dwa kosze – na zmieszane odpady i plastik – pod zlewem, obok nich stojące dwie szklane butelki. niewielki pojemnik na bioodpady na blacie kuchennym, i kilka spłaszczonych kartonów stojących obok ciągu kuchennego.
pod spodem: segregacja na 5 frakcji to nie 5 koszy – to sprytne zagospodarowanie przestrzeni w Twojej kuchni
pod spodem link do szczegółów informacji o segregacji odpadów.

na samym dole plakatu: segregując na 5 koszy, unikniesz podwójnej opłaty.
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noodlejetski :verified_gay: @noodlejetski.masto.ai.ap.brid.gy · 04/02/2026
petition for the NY Times crossword creators to learn four letter words other than plural forms of the only three letter words they know
a cropped part of a NYT crossword with the word "ORES" being a correct solution
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noodlejetski :verified_gay: @noodlejetski.masto.ai.ap.brid.gy · 03/02/2026
a post by @KimmyMonte:

gentlemen, we are gathered here today by my milkshake
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noodlejetski :verified_gay: @noodlejetski.masto.ai.ap.brid.gy · 01/02/2026
pora na apdejt
mały piesek pyta dużego: za co tak kochamy ludzi?
duży odpowiada: bo są zrobieni z kości.
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noodlejetski :verified_gay: @noodlejetski.masto.ai.ap.brid.gy · 31/01/2026
I slept funny and now my lower neck/upper back is sore
a still frame from a Star Wars movie showing Admiral Ackbar about to utter his famous phrase
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noodlejetski :verified_gay: @noodlejetski.masto.ai.ap.brid.gy · 30/01/2026
a post by _eviegx:
they should invent a sleep that feels like you've slept
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noodlejetski :verified_gay: @noodlejetski.masto.ai.ap.brid.gy · 28/01/2026
a post by @emilykmay:
been working on feeling my feelings instead of intellectualizing my feelings and it's AWFUL!!!! can see why I have never done this!!!!!
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noodlejetski :verified_gay: @noodlejetski.masto.ai.ap.brid.gy · 25/01/2026
a tweet by @wstafrican:
People be like "I love winter!" from their living room under a heated blanket with some cozy socks on and sipping hot tea. No. Go outside and like it. Let's see.
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noodlejetski :verified_gay: @noodlejetski.masto.ai.ap.brid.gy · 19/01/2026
a Tumblr post by ScreenshotsOfDespair with a screenshot of a Gmail notification, topic: ""save your prostate" confirmation", text: "Your Prostate Is the Size Of A Lemon"

a reply by stupit: and brother im about to make lemonade
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noodlejetski :verified_gay: @noodlejetski.masto.ai.ap.brid.gy · 16/01/2026
a post by @samreich

therapist: so what's troubling you?
me: my parents taught me to be so polite that now i have trouble taking up any emotional real estate
therapist: and how does it make you feel?
me: fine
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noodlejetski :verified_gay: @noodlejetski.masto.ai.ap.brid.gy · 15/01/2026
did... did someone install LineageOS on the bus TV?
a screen in the bus showing the Android recovery screen with a very distinct LineageOS logo
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