Needles @needles.bsky.social · 05/10/2026This time, we’re going to ask him “Pretty Please” and we MEAN IT 000
Needles @needles.bsky.social · 05/10/2026You couldn’t do Hackers today because all those kids would be insufferable fascists just posting and doing race science all the time 000
Needles @needles.bsky.social · 05/10/2026Already worked all weekend and just now got a 3:45am call scheduled with clients in Japan. Luckily it fits in well with one of the many instances I have to get up at night to pee. 110
Needles @needles.bsky.social · 04/10/2026He’s only saying this because he was smooshed between two stones 000
Needles @needles.bsky.social · 03/10/2026The "healthy" burger restaurant doesn't serve soda but they had no issue giving me 6 Modelos 010
Needles @needles.bsky.social · 02/10/2026One of the great things about being bald (amongst many) is when you hit your head on something everyone can see it for weeks 010
Needles @needles.bsky.social · 01/10/2026There's been a ton of stuff in the news the past few months about this Al guy, who the fuck is Al? 001
Needles @needles.bsky.social · 01/10/2026One of the things I hate to see is when a really tall building has one side that is windowless, like it was supposed to have a friend that never got built. Even worse when you see this in a smaller city because you can imagine they thought of a future full of skyscrapers and just got the one 010
Reposted by NeedlesLee Cronin’s Pablo Hidalgo @infinata.bsky.social · 01/10/2026My election platform: You should get a gold tombstone if you die on your birthday. 3625
Needles @needles.bsky.social · 28/09/2026Nothing like being in a bar in Philly when the Cowboys lose like that 000
Needles @needles.bsky.social · 26/09/2026Joshingly calling the zoo gorilla “banana breath” only to discover he knows just enough sign language to tell his handlers I’m racist 010
Needles @needles.bsky.social · 26/09/2026My greatest fear is someone discovering I’m susceptible to fire damage 010
Reposted by NeedlesThe Alternate Histoween 🎃 @althistorian.bsky.social · 26/09/2026Happy Stanislav Petrov Day. Today we celebrate the life of a man who saved billions by not believing a computer. May we all learn this valuable lesson. 215167
Needles @needles.bsky.social · 26/09/2026Oh I have a close call at least once a week. I am a true idiot 010
Needles @needles.bsky.social · 25/09/2026*like Girlfriend in a Coma* Cell phone in the toilet, I know, I know, it’s serious 110
Needles @needles.bsky.social · 21/09/2026You people laugh now but just wait until I sit upon my throne of Belarusian Potash 021
Needles @needles.bsky.social · 20/09/2026One of the neat things about being an American in 2026 is when, unprompted, you start getting tons of ads that say "We are your local government, just letting you know the water is totally safe to drink. No worries! OK, thanks!" 000
Needles @needles.bsky.social · 19/09/2026Just heard someone refer to a gas station as “the gasoline store.” 110
Needles @needles.bsky.social · 18/09/2026I didn’t know he could do this. Terrifying because that’s where his organs are. 010
Needles @needles.bsky.social · 15/09/2026*referee touches the mic button on his belt* “(echoing) My best friend is the football” 022
Needles @needles.bsky.social · 14/09/2026My #1 fitness tip is to turn your down time into Kegel time 000
Needles @needles.bsky.social · 13/09/2026A "working class movie" is any movie where the characters get around by working one of those railroad handcart things with the levers 000
Needles @needles.bsky.social · 13/09/2026I’ve shot an entire 92 minute film on my car’s backup camera. Does anyone know how to edit out those red/yellow/green parking guides? 000
Needles @needles.bsky.social · 12/09/2026All the trucks at Arby’s are lifted or dropped. None of them are at the regular height 010
Needles @needles.bsky.social · 11/09/2026It'd be way cooler if we weren't able to forecast solar eclipses and they just happened 000
Needles @needles.bsky.social · 10/09/2026They should change the name of Red Delicious apples to Red Dangerous to give it some well deserved allure 010
Needles @needles.bsky.social · 06/09/2026Car guys fucking love it when their car sounds like shit. Popping, grinding, squealing, they can’t get enough 000
Needles @needles.bsky.social · 05/09/2026I think some poor girl is having her Quinceañera at the Costco food court 000
Needles @needles.bsky.social · 05/09/2026(Sam Elliott voice) At the dentists office they told me I was a mighty brave young man. Now I reckon that don’t hold much water ‘round these parts, but where I’m from the measure of a man is how tall he stands in the face of adversity 000
Needles @needles.bsky.social · 02/09/2026Is this why my iOS needed 30 minutes to update this morning? 000
Needles @needles.bsky.social · 02/09/2026Absolute War of the Worlds shit happening outside right now. Constant lightning in every direction 000
Needles @needles.bsky.social · 02/09/2026This is the most “Florida” lightning I’ve seen in Pennsylvania 000
Needles @needles.bsky.social · 02/09/2026This all-AI TV channel seems exclusively designed for the muted TV at a laundromat 000
Needles @needles.bsky.social · 31/08/2026It’s working too. Haven’t come across anyone named “Gord” in months 000
Needles @needles.bsky.social · 30/08/2026If Trump was truly clever instead of the lake bullshit, he’d start renaming other people 020
Needles @needles.bsky.social · 30/08/2026Every time I played Ecco the Dolphin I would think “But does he want to fuck chicks?” 010
Needles @needles.bsky.social · 29/08/2026This fallen tree has been blocking the Manayunk Towpath trail for so long now it has a Kest Gak sticker on it 000
Needles @needles.bsky.social · 29/08/2026I come from an alternate reality where the 1991 film Nothing But Trouble became the highest grossing film in history. There isn’t a single person on Earth who doesn’t know who these two are 000
Needles @needles.bsky.social · 28/08/2026We went to a Cancer ward and nearly everybody there felt Cancer was bad. So much for the tolerant left! 000
Needles @needles.bsky.social · 27/08/2026Honestly just let him do this shit. It’s just a Fisher-Price Busy Box to keep him from wrecking things that matter 010
Needles @needles.bsky.social · 24/08/2026The hot girl running the register asked if I wanted my receipt and I said “no” so she’d know that I was a rebel 000
Needles @needles.bsky.social · 22/08/2026Don’t tell me that my vacuum cleaner needs a firmware update. That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard 000
Needles @needles.bsky.social · 22/08/2026“Are you here with your wife?” —Oh yes, she’s outside right now, she’s being charged with vehicular manslaughter 000
