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Mystery Biscuits

@mpeyton.uk

211 followers 1.2K following 101 posts

Don't blame me - I voted for Kodos. Replies, reposts & likes etc not necessarily endorsements. He/they.

Posts Replies Media

Mystery Biscuits @mpeyton.uk · 12/08/2026

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Mystery Biscuits @mpeyton.uk · 08/07/2026

Can't be worse than the man who spends more time up Trump's arse than in Clacton.

Count Binface being interviewed on BBC News.

Mystery Biscuits @mpeyton.uk · 05/06/2026

Mystery Biscuits @mpeyton.uk · 09/05/2026

A screenshot from the VeggieTales episode "Rack, Shack & Benny", accompanied by a Threads post from transient-thinker, which says 'Some of y'all never watched Veggie Tales and it shows. The screenshot from the episode shows Rack, Shack and Benny refusing to bow to Mr Nezzer's 90ft tall bunny.

Mystery Biscuits @mpeyton.uk · 28/04/2026

Ed Balls

Mystery Biscuits @mpeyton.uk · 13/04/2026

You have thirty minutes to move your car. You have ten minutes. Your car has been impounded. Your car has been crushed into a cube. You have thirty minutes to move your cube.

Homer Simpson reading out Mr Burns' list of voicemail messages to him.

Mystery Biscuits @mpeyton.uk · 14/01/2026

It's everybody's favourite @garybrannan.bsky.social on my TV this morning!

Mystery Biscuits @mpeyton.uk · 22/09/2025

Oh no. Oh no. Oh no no no no no.

A smartwatch screen displaying a BBC Sport notification. The headline reads "Ryder Cup anal..." with the preview text: "Friday's opening foursomes should be most accurate...". A "CLEAR ALL" button is visible at the top of the screen. The watch is on a person's wrist.

Mystery Biscuits @mpeyton.uk · 11/06/2025

Completed my first aid at work training!

'First Aid Essentials' - a candidate manual for First Aid at Work training, published by the Royal Life Saving Society.

Mystery Biscuits @mpeyton.uk · 07/06/2025

A screenshot from a post on Threads by @relthesinger:

"You wouldn't want the Epstein Files to be released if there were a bunch of Democrats on there too!"

Yes, the fuck I would. Drop the list, I'm getting my reading glasses.

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Mystery Biscuits @mpeyton.uk · 22/05/2025

Ditch the AI then we'll talk......

A Duolingo notification email with the message "You made Duo sad" and a crying emoji at the top. The email shows an image of the Duolingo mascot, Duo the owl, lying face down in front of a calendar showing the number 30. Below the image, the text reads: "But you’ve been gone for 30 days. Today is the day you come back, right?"

Mystery Biscuits @mpeyton.uk · 10/05/2025

Let's be honest, the BBC knew exactly what they were writing here :-D #Eurovision

Another contestant doubling his entendres is Australia's Go-Jo, who wants us to "take a sip" of milkshake from his "special cup". Interpret that how you want but I'd be wary of hitching a lift in his ice cream van, if I were you.

With a smattering of Electric Six's saucy disco funk, Milkshake Man is tasty enough to get Australia back in the finals after only achieving a semi last year.

Mystery Biscuits @mpeyton.uk · 05/05/2025

Does the BBC know something we don't?

A female news reporter is speaking on camera in front of Buckingham Palace. She is wearing a light blue coat and a white scarf. The scene includes decorative fencing and blooming yellow flowers. On-screen closed captions mistakenly read, "World War III veterans as the country gives thanks," implying an error.

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Mystery Biscuits @mpeyton.uk · 04/05/2025

From the 10th episode of Season 21 of the Simpsons, entitled "Once Upon a Time in Springfield". Ralph Wiggum is sat at a desk inside his classroom at Springfield Elementary School, dressed as Princess Leia, and says "I'm a Star Wars".

Mystery Biscuits @mpeyton.uk · 29/04/2025

You just won the game. It's okay! You're free!

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Mystery Biscuits @mpeyton.uk · 28/04/2025

Ed Balls

Screenshot of a tweet by Ed Balls (@edballs) posted on April 28, 2011, at 4:20 PM. The tweet simply says 'Ed Balls'. It shows engagement statistics: 108.5K retweets, 10.9K quote tweets, and 111.7K likes.

Mystery Biscuits @mpeyton.uk · 25/04/2025

The image shows a scene that appears to be from the movie "Miss Congeniality," featuring Cheryl 'Rhode Island'. The image is split into two panels. The top panel depicts a man in a red jacket speaking into a microphone, with a woman wearing a sash that reads "RHODE ISLAND" standing next to him. Other women in similar sashes are visible in the background. The text "Describe your perfect date" is superimposed on the image. The bottom panel shows a closer view of the man and the woman with the "RHODE ISLAND" sash, both holding microphones. The text below reads, "That's a tough one. I'd have to say April 25th. Because it's not too hot and not too cold. All you need is a light jacket."

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Mystery Biscuits @mpeyton.uk · 25/04/2025

*giggle*

The image shows a group of road signs, some of which have been altered or defaced humorously. The top sign reads "WOT A FART" in block letters. Below it is a red-bordered circular speed limit sign that appears to have been vandalized to read "peed tim 10 m, h" instead of something like "Speed Limit 10 mph." There is also a blue circular directional sign with a white arrow pointing right. The setting appears to be a rural or grassy area, and the image has a "Google" watermark at the bottom, indicating it is from Google Street View.

Mystery Biscuits @mpeyton.uk · 28/03/2025

A close-up image of a package of Armor All wipes partially visible in a car's storage compartment. Due to the way the package is folded and obscured, the text appears to read "ASS WIPES," creating an amusing misinterpretation. The packaging is primarily black and orange, with some blue and white elements from another package of wipes nearby. The surrounding area includes a black leather or faux-leather surface with stitching and some crumpled tissues.

Mystery Biscuits @mpeyton.uk · 24/03/2025

Without downloading new pictures, where are you mentally?

A screenshot from The Fairly OddParents episode "Spaced Out" features Cosmo and Wanda in their goldfish forms. Cosmo excitedly holds a large silver nickel with the number "5" engraved on it, representing Phillip the Nickel, while Wanda looks unimpressed. Both have small golden crowns and are surrounded by underwater bubbles.

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Mystery Biscuits @mpeyton.uk · 15/03/2025

What?

A screenshot of a word puzzle game, likely the New York Times Spelling Bee. The game board consists of seven hexagonal tiles with letters: "O" (center, highlighted in yellow), and surrounding letters "L," "A," "R," "T," "I," and "V." The player attempted to submit the word "ROTA," but a message at the top indicates it is "Not in word list." Below the board, there are "Delete" and "Enter" buttons, along with a refresh button in the center. The interface has a dark background with white and yellow text.

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Mystery Biscuits @mpeyton.uk · 06/03/2025

Stephen Colbert, wearing a dark suit and glasses, holds up a black circular paddle with white text that reads 'TRY DOING SOMETHING.' The scene appears to be from his late-night show, with a nighttime cityscape visible through large windows in the background. The gesture mirrors the actions of Democrats who held up similar paddles during a recent speech by Donald Trump in Congress.

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Mystery Biscuits @mpeyton.uk · 25/02/2025

Hello!

A person is holding a program for The Book of Mormon musical inside a theater. The program cover features the show's signature design, depicting a missionary in a white shirt and black tie, jumping with a book in hand. The stage in the background is illuminated with a blue and pink sky-themed backdrop, framed by ornate, glowing architectural details. The perspective suggests the person is seated in the audience, waiting for the show to begin.

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Mystery Biscuits @mpeyton.uk · 15/11/2024

Image description: A meme featuring a photo of Joe Biden and Barack Obama. Joe Biden is shown with his fists up, as if playfully making a boxing gesture, while Barack Obama stands beside him, smiling slightly. The text overlay reads:

Joe: I'm going to ask Donald if he wants something to eat
Barack: That's nice, Joe
Joe: And then I'm going to offer him knuckle sandwiches

The meme humorously portrays a fictional conversation between Joe Biden and Barack Obama, with Biden jokingly suggesting he wants to "offer" Donald Trump a punch, referred to as "knuckle sandwiches."