Have not had time/energy to do a new fully rendered group portrait but we wanted to do Something to reflect our current understanding of the system so here's a doodlesona roster
Overdosed on Yaoi Cocaine
@morphomemeticfield.bsky.social
41 followers 27 following 1.6K posts
Personal comics, reflections, memes, etc. Several cats pretending to be a person. Tend to get rambly on here.
![KITTY: For a [Cassie Dragon Tales] introject you're not very shy
KRYSTAL: Probz cuz all that went 2 u LOL
BOTH: [used to be the same part]](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:tmcqyjqezhw6ry55gvcu4ukf/bafkreihvjdfyajt6d4ypvu545wcxatyja6pfahpqgcpgcvquzim2r3t3b4)
![TOPAZ: This guy's always going on and on about "punishment" like dude just get into sadomasochism like a normal person
OBSIDIAN: [murderous intent]](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:tmcqyjqezhw6ry55gvcu4ukf/bafkreidbtsppehr7uyuwwfu6otg2dhcajzqbx7yx5wph766vofphdgnhhy)
![CROWD: [Famous Last Words lyrics] I am not afraid to keep on living / I am not afraid to walk this world alone
GUY NEXT TO ME: [<- one of my besties]
TOPAZ: [<- crying all my makeup off at the MCR concert]](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:tmcqyjqezhw6ry55gvcu4ukf/bafkreie3lqreukpg274whw5tcilafzpdanj6seiynz5s56fduu3vy4qyxm)
![TOPAZ: [<-- not binding in public]
LUKE 1: [throwing knives at him]
DELTA: [driving]
LUKE 2: I'm going to get in a car crash I'm going to get in a car crash I'm going to get in a car crash I'm going to get in a car crash
KAT: [intensely projecting Minecraft images]
SALEM: I kinda want to play Minecraft](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:tmcqyjqezhw6ry55gvcu4ukf/bafkreig2t5jss2ngv2zkf7mbxkrpg2cyvkngn7slfwk7643osyp63ktfky)
![KITTY: So it seems like the more we learn about ourself, the less useful role labels are becoming to describe our experience.
JAIDEN: Agreed.
TOPAZ: I've been saying!!
KITTY: It also feels like our dynamics are shifting since being more aware of each other.
KITTY: Plus learning about *her* has thrown a wrench in some of our previous theories.
KRYSTAL: Hai~
KITTY: Looking at our whole life in context, it seems like the past few years of relative stability are an outlier.
KITTY: Is it even useful to say we have "hosts" if at some points that can apply to over half of us?
KITTY: So, is everybody on board for dropping labels? [pointed stare]
DETLA: [Categorization Georg] What?? I'm cool with it...](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:tmcqyjqezhw6ry55gvcu4ukf/bafkreibohvqubuq2shbnefcrmpgdblvxnvkvsevoivzav5izp3zngisxxi)
![The way we draw ourself in our sketch diary is actually a simplification of our "main fursona".
We call it the "doodlesona" and it dates back to our early teens.
We just modify the base design depending on who its representing.
[Cat fursona notes: designed by Salem; outfit designed by Kitty]
[Cat doodlesona notes: only draw which features are necessary for expression usually; we use stricter colours for these also]
Some of us are drawn identically, especially if they're around the same age.
[Child fursona notes: I had a bowlcut for most of my childhood]
It's not really good design practice to have such similar-looking "characters", but it's accurate to how we perceive of ourselves in relation to the physical body.
It's also symbolic of our identity confusion, covert presentation, and the fact we conceptualize ourselves as basically being different versions of the same person.
If we're hard to tell apart, that's the point! D.I.D. is a confusing experience.
A few of us are actually dragons, but we draw everybody as cats for visual consistency.
Topaz does have a unique fursona, though.
We'll probs talk more about the species thing later... Again, D.I.D. is weird!
[Dragon fursona notes: designed by Topaz (duh)]
[Dragon doodlesona notes: this takes longer to draw & its not as cute]
(Funfact: for many years there was resistance to depicting him with breasts due to other parts' chest dysphoria.)
The 'sonas are ofc stylized and designed to our tastes, but they're informed by our internal self-perceptions.
Honestly most of us don't stray that far from what we actually look like.
...or at least how we looked at some point in life.
[Human self-portrait notes: whose this asshole?]](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:tmcqyjqezhw6ry55gvcu4ukf/bafkreiaxqa4ewvjjaa4be7i2it77af7rdzz6lda5ffl2eupqseflkwnmtm)
![[panel 1: SPIKE approaches DELTA]
SPIKE: Put me in the comic!
DELTA: I thought you didn't want to be included?
SPIKE: I changed my mind!
DELTA: Okay. What would you like to make a--
SPIKE: SEX
[panel 2: SALEM and LUKE enter, panicked; DELTA looks annoyed]
SALEM: Wait! We can't let her talk about *that*!
SPIKE: I wasn't talking to you!
SALEM: People who aren't familiar with D.I.D. and what can cause it may take it out of context and--
LUKE: They're going to think I'm a pedophile
[panel 3: DELTA shoves SALEM off screen by pushing his face]
DELTA: 1) We agreed not to water down our experience even if it's not palatable. 2) She's not an actual child, she has an adult brain. 3) She's probably just trying to get a reaction. Watch.](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:tmcqyjqezhw6ry55gvcu4ukf/bafkreid7o6zfpxkfujrzibembyux6vaakfc6uynbu2savgr2jxqqtqztsy)
![[panel 1: DELTA and SPIKE]
DELTA: Okay Spike. What do you have to say about sex?
[panel 2: SPIKE thinks for a moment]
[panel 3]
SPIKE: I don't know.
[panel 4: DELTA gestures towards SPIKE while looking at SALEM as if to say "I told you so"]
SPIKE: Let's just draw porn!](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:tmcqyjqezhw6ry55gvcu4ukf/bafkreifih7igtgnathjqa4grcajhi7s43smq6ggksjxk22km7mxxdigc2y)
![While I've experienced some host changes over time, it seems there are some patterns in how my brain wants to arrange itself for daily life.
[emotional detachment + meets expectations] <- [mediates between] -> [expresses emotions freely + handles conflict]
The current host trio has lasted over a decade with little instability.](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:tmcqyjqezhw6ry55gvcu4ukf/bafkreih7xu4rxymua4injxyanfmk44k2m5douvlsv6xavw76brlv37ds4a)
![Since communication has opened up between us, we've been making an effort to be cooperative, but...
We're pretty far from actually *liking* each other.
[Delta <- judgemental / emotional -> Salem]
[Salem <- spineless / aggressive -> Topaz]
[Topaz <- irresponsible / controlling -> Delta]
I suppose there's a good reason we've remained separate.
But while we may have different goals & priorities, ultimately we all just want to live a decent life.
So, we'll just keep trying our best to get along...](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:tmcqyjqezhw6ry55gvcu4ukf/bafkreiccdb7fujobolxrlo2rgi73k4kws3kod5qe6tj7tfhloea5hx5vum)
![COMPUTER [garbed text with the word "Barney" clear]
BLUE: [poof]
BLUE: I love you, you love me, let's team up and kill Barney--
BLUE: Wait that's the word words!
BLUE: I can't remember the right ones!
TOPAZ: [laughs]
BLUE: No! No! Barney is a nice dinosaur!
BLUE: He doesn't deserve to die!](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:tmcqyjqezhw6ry55gvcu4ukf/bafkreiemn2wfght5acwzel5pljkba4oi6saj6y5vprlzxylxjqkbqd4oc4)
![TOPAZ and DELTA: [arguing about money]
SALEM: Those two are always fighting about money. I wonder why.
DAD and MOM in KAT's memory: [also arguing about money]
SALEM: Oh. Right.](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:tmcqyjqezhw6ry55gvcu4ukf/bafkreiadvdarcjgopygyqlqpaet7udrtx3jvwprqrd5nar3dynlr43deya)
