Monkey Bullets @monkeybullets.bsky.social · 19/05/2025Relevant again, probably. monkeybullets.substack.com/p/money-babymonkeybullets.substack.comMONEY BABYIn a world where money buys youth, unchecked ultrawealth has unintended consequences. 010
Monkey Bullets @monkeybullets.bsky.social · 05/04/2025Check out the latest chapter in Monkey Bullets’ Elon Musk biography. open.substack.com/pub/monkeybu...open.substack.comMONEY BABYIn a world where money buys youth, unchecked ultrawealth has unintended consequences. 010
Reposted by Monkey BulletsAndrew Singleton @andrewsingleton.bsky.social · 10/02/2025Seeing a lot of "if the liberals are mad we must be doing something right" shit lately, and I can't stress enough how fucking stupid it is. monkeybullets.substack.com/p/why-are-th...monkeybullets.substack.comWhy are the Liberals so Upset I Burned Down that Orphanage, Huh?I’ll tell ya, there’s nothing sweeter than liberal tears. 011
Monkey Bullets @monkeybullets.bsky.social · 25/01/2025In today’s Flash Fiction the News, a dad measures his son’s erections and convinces himself he’ll never die open.substack.com/pub/monkeybu...open.substack.comFlash Fiction the News: Death Defying Erection DadOn mortality and the penis. 012
Monkey Bullets @monkeybullets.bsky.social · 21/01/2025Seems like a good day to talk about how much money it would take to literally crush your skull, for some reason. open.substack.com/pub/monkeybu...open.substack.comHow Much Money Does it Take to Kill You?A short mathematical exercise. 022
Monkey Bullets @monkeybullets.bsky.social · 07/01/2025On today's Flash Fiction the News, people buy nuclear bunkers even though experts say they're useless. monkeybullets.substack.com/p/flash-fict...monkeybullets.substack.comFlash Fiction the News: Dream Home Fallout ShelterDelusion, while supplies last. 010
Monkey Bullets @monkeybullets.bsky.social · 31/12/2024On today’s Flash Fiction the News, we get an inside view of what it’s like to be the world’s saddest tweeter. open.substack.com/pub/monkeybu...open.substack.comFlash Fiction the News: Billionaire Twitter WarRage and loneliness in Austin, Texas. 000
Monkey Bullets @monkeybullets.bsky.social · 24/12/2024She only remembered that she was important. open.substack.com/pub/monkeybu...open.substack.comFlash Fiction the News: Secret Congressional DementiaThe halls of power run through an assisted living facility. 000
Monkey Bullets @monkeybullets.bsky.social · 20/12/2024What is the ROI on joy again? monkeybullets.substack.com/p/santas-wor...monkeybullets.substack.comSanta’s Workshop is Now An Amazon SubsidiaryIt's Christmas, optimized. 010
Monkey Bullets @monkeybullets.bsky.social · 10/12/2024"Let’s be real, who among us hasn’t been right on edge of tipsy and decided “fuck it, if I just roll down the windows and blast some Judas Priest, stick to the back roads, and only oversee a few covert amphibious operations, I’ll be just fine.”" open.substack.com/pub/monkeybu...open.substack.comTips for How to Drink and Run the DoD ResponsiblyDrink water between nuclear strikes. 021
Monkey Bullets @monkeybullets.bsky.social · 09/12/2024I think it's actually okay to be in charge of the military drunk as long as you roll down all the windows and blast some Judas Priest. 021
Monkey Bullets @monkeybullets.bsky.social · 05/12/2024" Who felt the weight of his strength? What sounds of suffering did he call “noise?” Who received and did not receive his love? Stop asking questions. Lester is your totem. He is your myth to make real. You are him and he is you." monkeybullets.substack.com/p/the-battle...monkeybullets.substack.comThe Battle of Maddox BridgeReflections on a war we never should have fought. 011
Reposted by Monkey BulletsAmerican Loser @americanlosers.bsky.social · 05/12/2024Today's Loser: OpenAI medium.com/american-los...medium.comAdvertising Means ChatGPT is Dead, Not the Other Way Around.ChatGPT was suppose to kill the ad industry, now the ad industry is killing it. 021
Monkey Bullets @monkeybullets.bsky.social · 03/12/2024Isn't the con just so fucking obvious? 1.) Republicans run up the debt $8.4 tril (tax cuts for billionaires, baby) 2.) Let (yes, LET) democrats take over so it seems like they own the debt. 3.) Get back into power. 4.) Clutch pearls, fan face. 5.) Cut our most vital social programs. 011
Monkey Bullets @monkeybullets.bsky.social · 02/12/2024“Whatchu think?” He broke the long silence. “I think we create chaos just so we can find the meaning in it.” open.substack.com/pub/monkeybu...open.substack.comThe Last Town in the Wild West.An end of the world love story. 021