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American Loser

@americanlosers.bsky.social
27 followers 73 following 22 posts

a bald eagle on a pile of cocaine. middle management.

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Reposted by American Loser
McSweeney's @mcsweeneys.net · 17/04/2026
"In the future, there is such a thing as money. But there’s no such thing as your money. All the money is our money."
buff.ly
In Our Glorious AI Future, There Will Be No Such Thing as Money (For You)
“In the future, there is such a thing as money. But there’s no such thing as your money. All the money is our money.”
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American Loser @americanlosers.bsky.social · 06/02/2025
The truth no one is talking about is Elon hired a bunch of children because no adults wanna hang out with him.
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American Loser @americanlosers.bsky.social · 26/01/2025
Anyway here’s this again for no reason
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Reposted by American Loser
Monkey Bullets @monkeybullets.bsky.social · 25/01/2025
In today’s Flash Fiction the News, a dad measures his son’s erections and convinces himself he’ll never die open.substack.com/pub/monkeybu...
open.substack.com
Flash Fiction the News: Death Defying Erection Dad
On mortality and the penis.
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Reposted by American Loser
Monkey Bullets @monkeybullets.bsky.social · 21/01/2025
Seems like a good day to talk about how much money it would take to literally crush your skull, for some reason. open.substack.com/pub/monkeybu...
open.substack.com
How Much Money Does it Take to Kill You?
A short mathematical exercise.
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American Loser @americanlosers.bsky.social · 20/12/2024
"Goodwill will be distributed on an individual customer basis as it becomes available. The average wait time is currently 12.5 years."
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American Loser @americanlosers.bsky.social · 16/12/2024
Joe Rogan used to be the left's Joe Rogan
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American Loser @americanlosers.bsky.social · 10/12/2024
I think it looks pretty good , bro.
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Reposted by American Loser
Monkey Bullets @monkeybullets.bsky.social · 10/12/2024
"Let’s be real, who among us hasn’t been right on edge of tipsy and decided “fuck it, if I just roll down the windows and blast some Judas Priest, stick to the back roads, and only oversee a few covert amphibious operations, I’ll be just fine.”" open.substack.com/pub/monkeybu...
open.substack.com
Tips for How to Drink and Run the DoD Responsibly
Drink water between nuclear strikes.
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Reposted by American Loser
Monkey Bullets @monkeybullets.bsky.social · 09/12/2024
I think it's actually okay to be in charge of the military drunk as long as you roll down all the windows and blast some Judas Priest.
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American Loser @americanlosers.bsky.social · 09/12/2024
It takes $23,296,000 in hundreds to crush someone's head. There are over 150 CEOs who made that much or more last year. Feels like there's some kind of lesson or morale here. medium.com/@andrewsingl...
medium.com
The Weight of Money
How Much Money Does it Take to Crush a Human Being?
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Reposted by American Loser
Monkey Bullets @monkeybullets.bsky.social · 05/12/2024
" Who felt the weight of his strength? What sounds of suffering did he call “noise?” Who received and did not receive his love? Stop asking questions. Lester is your totem. He is your myth to make real. You are him and he is you." monkeybullets.substack.com/p/the-battle...
monkeybullets.substack.com
The Battle of Maddox Bridge
Reflections on a war we never should have fought.
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American Loser @americanlosers.bsky.social · 05/12/2024
Today's Loser: OpenAI medium.com/american-los...
medium.com
Advertising Means ChatGPT is Dead, Not the Other Way Around.
ChatGPT was suppose to kill the ad industry, now the ad industry is killing it.
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American Loser @americanlosers.bsky.social · 03/12/2024
Let's talk about this Weimar Republic shit. medium.com/american-los...
medium.com
4 Ways America is NOT Like the Weimar Republic
How are differences can help us understand where we are as a nation.
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Reposted by American Loser
Monkey Bullets @monkeybullets.bsky.social · 03/12/2024
Isn't the con just so fucking obvious? 1.) Republicans run up the debt $8.4 tril (tax cuts for billionaires, baby) 2.) Let (yes, LET) democrats take over so it seems like they own the debt. 3.) Get back into power. 4.) Clutch pearls, fan face. 5.) Cut our most vital social programs.
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Reposted by American Loser
Monkey Bullets @monkeybullets.bsky.social · 02/12/2024
“Whatchu think?” He broke the long silence. “I think we create chaos just so we can find the meaning in it.” open.substack.com/pub/monkeybu...
open.substack.com
The Last Town in the Wild West.
An end of the world love story.
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American Loser @americanlosers.bsky.social · 27/11/2024
viral post
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American Loser @americanlosers.bsky.social · 27/11/2024
"we all still knew then and know now that there’s no difference between the first flying bullet and the last one, or any in between. When one kills you, the number is just trivia." medium.com/american-los...
medium.com
The Battle of Maddox Bridge
A short story about a war 30 years in the making
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American Loser @americanlosers.bsky.social · 27/11/2024
What happens when advertising lowers the bar. medium.com/american-los...
medium.com
Create Exuberant. Eat Word Salad.
Why worse marketing means worse everything.
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American Loser @americanlosers.bsky.social · 26/11/2024
"It's over" is loser shit. medium.com/american-los...
medium.com
Stop Saying “It’s Over.”
The best and only defense against tyranny is hope.
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American Loser @americanlosers.bsky.social · 20/11/2024
I'm a loser, you're a loser medium.com/american-los...
medium.com
We’re All Losers Here
We the people.
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