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Sam Handwhich

@mjrtom05.bsky.social
251 followers 124 following 3.5K posts

-satirist -I refuse to fight these pacifist allegations. "The best lack all conviction and the worst are full of passionate intensity.... And what rough Beast, it's our come round at last slouches towards Bethlehem to be born?".

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Sam Handwhich @mjrtom05.bsky.social · 8h
Told the truth about him
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Sam Handwhich @mjrtom05.bsky.social · 12h
It's a robot. It isn't a human.
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Sam Handwhich @mjrtom05.bsky.social · 13h
Wait. What? Surely double jeopardy applies
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Sam Handwhich @mjrtom05.bsky.social · 13h
All of the examples I did responding to you too crazy dykes today? (That was definitely misogynist but you're ugly ass fucking deserves it).
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Sam Handwhich @mjrtom05.bsky.social · 13h
You aren't saying anything new you're just repeating the same nonsense.
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Sam Handwhich @mjrtom05.bsky.social · 13h
She is. Want to know why?
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Sam Handwhich @mjrtom05.bsky.social · 13h
I admit I am obsessed with all of the furries on Blue sky rational adults feel the need to sexualize cartoonish animals and display that as their online persona is deeply fucked up and I will not allow that to ever become mainstream I will always judge a furry but I will be inclusive of them
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Sam Handwhich @mjrtom05.bsky.social · 13h
Yet you haven't provided any examples you're just painting it with a broad brush I suspect there's a septum piercing somewhere in here do you have blue hair?
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Sam Handwhich @mjrtom05.bsky.social · 13h
"Mr President throughout this war you and your defense department staff have repeatedly told the media you will not comment on military affairs because you don't want the enemy to know what you're going to do. Can you please reconcile this with the about face you made last night?
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Sam Handwhich @mjrtom05.bsky.social · 13h
What's interesting is some of this is women chasing fleeting youth and failing miserably the other is young women in the prime of youth still ruining their faces for some unknown reason
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Sam Handwhich @mjrtom05.bsky.social · 14h
Enjoy your pair of social relationships and your Hummel figurines
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Sam Handwhich @mjrtom05.bsky.social · 14h
I don't understand where you got that from can you explain your reasoning? How am I against women?
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Sam Handwhich @mjrtom05.bsky.social · 14h
And how dare you besmirch the nitrogen fixing magic that is the turnip you fucking whore!
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Sam Handwhich @mjrtom05.bsky.social · 14h
Well you couldn't be further from the truth but I think you make judgments reflexively based on buzzwords rather than actual critical evaluation. Also your screen name speaks volumes about you. How many Hummel figurines left before your masterpiece is complete cat lady?
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Sam Handwhich @mjrtom05.bsky.social · 15h
I'm the most pro-semite person on Blue sky in that I understand the definition of semites. Which includes all Palestinians!
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Sam Handwhich @mjrtom05.bsky.social · 15h
Also you aren't going to mention the second coming I mean it's a pretty prescient bit of arguably one of Yates finest poems.... Or are you also illiterate as well as a blue check mark on x?
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Sam Handwhich @mjrtom05.bsky.social · 15h
I love how the two of you are bringing your Twitter energy over to Blue sky
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Sam Handwhich @mjrtom05.bsky.social · 15h
I'm also really against Israel and furries too
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Sam Handwhich @mjrtom05.bsky.social · 15h
Nurse ratchet is giving furry energy on Blue sky. I'm guessing you're one of the women who look like Susan Dell and you're offended that I called you out after you wasted 15 grand trying to look like a corpse with big tits and Donald ducklips?
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Reposted by Sam Handwhich
The Tennessee Holler @thetnholler.bsky.social · 17h
Yikes… local Georgia outlets in the tank fudging the graphs for @ossoff.bsky.social opponent Mike Collins🤔 (and Scoob-Doo😬)
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Sam Handwhich @mjrtom05.bsky.social · 16h
Oh so you're commenting on your own post so you understand the context but you're still going on with this bullshit???
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Sam Handwhich @mjrtom05.bsky.social · 16h
No I think the young people of any gender should start filling roles. Put these ancient actors out to pasture. What sort of savage jerks off in public? Do you hear yourself?
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Sam Handwhich @mjrtom05.bsky.social · 16h
I'm not picking up what you're putting down
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Sam Handwhich @mjrtom05.bsky.social · 16h
And I guess you identify with one of those women and feel personally attacked, that's it, isn't it?
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Sam Handwhich @mjrtom05.bsky.social · 16h
We were talking about female sex symbols. Where did Tom cruise ( who has now mysteriously turned into a lesbian) enter the convo?
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Sam Handwhich @mjrtom05.bsky.social · 20h
Doesn't he get that everybody hates him?
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Sam Handwhich @mjrtom05.bsky.social · 20h
This is part of the price to pay to become the first round of prototype immortals....
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Sam Handwhich @mjrtom05.bsky.social · 20h
It's a problem though think about all the young and upcoming actors who aren't getting roles because Demi Moore and Nicole Kidman and their preserved a corpses continue to want to put their hideous visages out as geriatric sex symbols.
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Sam Handwhich @mjrtom05.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
Has likely a lot of leaky pits that nobody can approach without the national output of lead for cladding. What would they gain from it?
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Sam Handwhich @mjrtom05.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
batshit theory: but it sort of tracks I think there's some sort of secret billionaire cabal that's trying like hell or has prototype succeeded in finding some sort of immortality but to get into the club you have to permanently disfigure yourself. Something to do with compatibility. Westworldey
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Sam Handwhich @mjrtom05.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
My dream is "The Stewery". Like the olive garden salad bar but for soups and straws, a nice bar u can relax at, and of course unlimited crusty bread. That's my money pit idea
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Sam Handwhich @mjrtom05.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
They get one opportunity to do that before they get eaten alive in every city in the country. And where are these ice agents going to retreat to? U can't expect them to LIVE I. Their prisons! Anyone who's married to any of them needs to divorce them Ricky tick before the election
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Sam Handwhich @mjrtom05.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
Unless you think he's going to have some team haul in a pit in a van and somehow detonate it it's not as though there's a viable delivery mechanism from the is or Iran. ISRAEL on the other hand.
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Sam Handwhich @mjrtom05.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
I love how they're talking about how they're easing the price at the pump by allowing the use of red diesel as though everybody on Earth who had access to Red diesel prior to this wasn't already doing this and still getting bent over a barrel with it it's just going to legalize what's been going on.
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Sam Handwhich @mjrtom05.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
Is he slowly turning into a kabuki mask? What's up with those eyebrows
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Sam Handwhich @mjrtom05.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
Added to which a lot of people have family in the City of Angels which a lot of people know as a"Tehrangeles". He literally couldn't have picked the worst city to lie about
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Sam Handwhich @mjrtom05.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
Yeah we don't really do that here at Blue sky
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Reposted by Sam Handwhich
Jordan Carlson @jordantcarlson.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
<thousand yard stare> <cackling>
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Sam Handwhich @mjrtom05.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
When? These fuckers have had two years and a full Congress and they haven't done a goddamn thing
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Sam Handwhich @mjrtom05.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
I don't want to live on this planet anymore
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Sam Handwhich @mjrtom05.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
"I'll take people who don't know how local government works for $100 Alex. "
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Sam Handwhich @mjrtom05.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
Why is the guy who made a big dick speech about civilian control over the military doing PT with the fucking military??
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Sam Handwhich @mjrtom05.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
Is there one coming up?
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Sam Handwhich @mjrtom05.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
YOU DONT FUCKING BELONG THERE!!
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Sam Handwhich @mjrtom05.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
How do I collect on that bet when we're in a civil war Tom? I'll take you up on it but I need that money in escrow because I'm probably going to need it on the 5th
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Sam Handwhich @mjrtom05.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
Fuck these Zio scum
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Sam Handwhich @mjrtom05.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
She is literally the worst messenger for this shit
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Sam Handwhich @mjrtom05.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
I think it's really funny how Paxton is bitching that Trump is pulling him down in the election as though Trump didn't have anything to do with getting him on the ticket in the fucking first place.
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Sam Handwhich @mjrtom05.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
He's a fucking minstrel. Imagine Hakeem Jeffries talking like ASS or SAS or (whatever he goes by in gay clubs). Stephen A Smith portrays a caricature of what he thinks will be most marketable to white and black ppl alike. Its pathetic.
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Sam Handwhich @mjrtom05.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
His 21st century minstrel act is getting a bit much. Ingratiating yourself to get an in is 1 thing.continuing the charade by speaking the way he does should offend white and black people alike as he CLEARLY thinks talking like this is somehow making him more relatable and marketable.
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