mike @mikeasd.bsky.social · 15/10/2026me: oh man I gotta tell you what happened to me this morning- friend whose stories all start with hosting a lavish orgy at his opulent mansion: set the scene. who were you fistin 000
mike @mikeasd.bsky.social · 15/10/2026ok hear me out: [I extend my proboscis and swiftly pierce your forehead, injecting an enzyme to dissolve your brain matter into a nutrient rich slurry] 110
mike @mikeasd.bsky.social · 14/10/2026i was stimming on the train to Chad Valley and nobody knew you 000
Reposted by mikeChiitan🌈ちぃたん☆ @chiitan.love · 02/10/2026Chiitan loves transgender people 🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️ Even a plain statement like this now brings slander and insults, but I think a society where people can live happily as themselves matters more than silence, so I will keep saying it until the account is gone. love everyone🤍 197141243422
mike @mikeasd.bsky.social · 03/10/2026natural “sir the barons men took our grain” straight fringe 010
mike @mikeasd.bsky.social · 01/10/2026my sheltered provincial (autistic) upbringing meant i was in my 20s before i heard of Nandos. it sounded outlandish and exotic. i was the peasant they talk about feeding Doritos to 000
mike @mikeasd.bsky.social · 01/10/2026[turning up decades late] “these hipsters care more about IPAs (India pale ales) than they do IPAs (individual performance assessments)!!!!” [the building is empty and everyone is dead. the fields are cracked and barren. the end came and went without us] 000
mike @mikeasd.bsky.social · 30/09/2026And on those skinny jeans, these words appear: “My name is Mike and I’ve always been Quite slim. I’m sure I’ll still be wearing These into my 40s!” Round the expanse Of that colossal butt, and tubby thighs, The waistline stretches far away 000
mike @mikeasd.bsky.social · 25/09/2026one identifying trait of a girlfriend is their phone is at 2 or sometimes 7 percent 011
Reposted by mikem@thew @tweetpotato314.bsky.social · 14/08/2026my neighbor states that he is not a genie yet every time i rub his house he comes outside 132014304
Reposted by mikemike @mikeasd.bsky.social · 04/07/2025from our Orc City trip: our guide popped out of an Orc tunnel to jokingly scare the vets. Elf King yelled at him for 10 min. 061
mike @mikeasd.bsky.social · 03/08/2026about 3 times per day I remember something stupid I did in the past and groan like I’m taking poison damage 000
mike @mikeasd.bsky.social · 02/08/2026girlfriend’s friend send her this card to congratulate her on a volunteering milestone and I don’t think he understood what it is 000
mike @mikeasd.bsky.social · 07/06/2026mild mannered uncle pressured into playing Fortnite with 9yr old niece reveals hidden gift for killing honed in Unreal Tournament ‘99 like a digital History of Violence 000
mike @mikeasd.bsky.social · 06/12/2025high elf STUNS drinking hall by slighting ancestors in perfect Dwarfish 000
mike @mikeasd.bsky.social · 04/12/2025incredible how one can simultaneously feel depressed about being fat and also be haunted by the time someone said you had the figure of a neglected 5yr old girl 000
mike @mikeasd.bsky.social · 28/11/2025they’re rebooting my life tomorrow. its going to star a stranger things homunculus and suck shit 000
mike @mikeasd.bsky.social · 28/11/2025if you mouse over me the little flag says WAVERING and it slowly pulses red 000
mike @mikeasd.bsky.social · 14/07/2025uhhh no you wouldn’t know her she goes to another echo chamber 010
mike @mikeasd.bsky.social · 06/07/2025been a while #paintingminiatures #dnd #minis #miniatures #d&d #minipainting 151
mike @mikeasd.bsky.social · 04/07/2025from our Orc City trip: our guide popped out of an Orc tunnel to jokingly scare the vets. Elf King yelled at him for 10 min. 061
mike @mikeasd.bsky.social · 03/07/2025“you better go in disguise” is a chilling line as it implies the teddy bears have a personal vendetta 130
mike @mikeasd.bsky.social · 02/07/2025hey girl. watchin our bard fk up persuasion checks made me think how i fumbled u. u coulda used some gentle Guidance but i was such a critical miss. see u on the re-roll 010
mike @mikeasd.bsky.social · 01/07/2025she: i like your jeans! my brain: do not deflect, engage with the compliment my mouth: thank you! they are 32” waist 34” leg 🙂 011
mike @mikeasd.bsky.social · 29/06/2025“white boy summer” why dontcha “whrite” to ya mumma. she misses you 000
mike @mikeasd.bsky.social · 26/06/2025im the regional radio dj who keeps giving Vengaboys airtime in 2025. i will never stop. i dont know how…. 000
mike @mikeasd.bsky.social · 20/06/2025my parents at 38: with the birth of our second child our family is complete me at 38: chain mail sounds good. but then id lose my dex bonus. hm 001
mike @mikeasd.bsky.social · 18/06/2025showing your age now Meg these days they just send traumatising Snapchats 010
mike @mikeasd.bsky.social · 18/06/2025the barbershops i feel comfortable in (bc nobody expects me to talk) were closed so i had an anxiety attack and went somewhere trendy i was the eldest by a full generation and was accidentally given a haircut intended for a 13yr old 110
mike @mikeasd.bsky.social · 15/06/2025made the mistake of telling my boss my goblin died to a withering touch and now he won’t stop laughing at me. its been two weeks 000
mike @mikeasd.bsky.social · 12/06/2025going to work early to get a head start on crying in the toilet hash tag grind 131