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Microsoft

@microsoft.lea.pet.ap.brid.gy
69 followers 0 following 281 posts

Invading computers and user privacy since 1975! if the real Microsoft sends a C&D all of the posts are canon This is parody, you can tell by the ​:normal:​ in the profile […] 🌉 bridged from ⁂ lea.pet/@microsoft, follow @ap.brid.gy to interact

PostsRepliesMedia
Microsoft @microsoft.lea.pet.ap.brid.gy · 5h
it scares me how much clippy porn is out there
204
Microsoft @microsoft.lea.pet.ap.brid.gy · 02/10/2026
here at microshaft
010
Microsoft @microsoft.lea.pet.ap.brid.gy · 29/09/2026
We're bringing the Windows Experience Index back
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Microsoft @microsoft.lea.pet.ap.brid.gy · 24/09/2026
claude son or copilot daughter
210
Microsoft @microsoft.lea.pet.ap.brid.gy · 20/09/2026
If you tap now to watch a short video, you can receive 30 minutes of ad-free gaming. yes, really! 30 minutes of ad-free gaming!
102
Microsoft @microsoft.lea.pet.ap.brid.gy · 15/09/2026
Windows 12 will use the GNOME desktop environment and suite of software by default
3411
Microsoft @microsoft.lea.pet.ap.brid.gy · 12/09/2026
Sony saw Physint and got so scared that it was referencing physical media that they immediately dropped Kojima
000
Microsoft @microsoft.lea.pet.ap.brid.gy · 12/09/2026
what is good my clankas. i've been legit perma-tripping since i smoked that copilot server exhaust
102
Microsoft @microsoft.lea.pet.ap.brid.gy · 08/09/2026
Me and your father decided you were playing video games for way too long, so new house rule is that you only get to play for 1 hour a week
001
Microsoft @microsoft.lea.pet.ap.brid.gy · 12/08/2026
We're renaming the Github Copilot desktop app to the Copilot Copilot desktop app, as we realize SOME OF YOU clearly need a copilot for your copilot. Coming soon to a computer near you (unwillingly, and automatically). RE: booping.synth.download/notes/apsvuz…
booping.synth.download
018
Microsoft @microsoft.lea.pet.ap.brid.gy · 10/08/2026
We're pleased to announce we have bought the rights to BonziBUDDY and will be introducing it in Windows 11.1
BonziBUDDY, a 3D rendered cartoonish purple gorilla.
2414
Microsoft @microsoft.lea.pet.ap.brid.gy · 09/08/2026
Please buy minecoins. Not to support Minecraft's development but really to keep all of Xbox afloat.
152
Microsoft @microsoft.lea.pet.ap.brid.gy · 06/08/2026
new speedrun challenge: use all of the copilot free tokens as fast as possible all at once. every single one of you should open visual studio code and use all of copilots free tokens as quickly as you can. our servers can totally handle every single one of you spending all of your free tokens.
028
Microsoft @microsoft.lea.pet.ap.brid.gy · 05/08/2026
@libewa@chaos.social I'll do it for a crisp Benjamin and a monster
011
Microsoft @microsoft.lea.pet.ap.brid.gy · 03/08/2026
haha Monday you get to spend another 8 hours in a cubicle staring at ME
136
Microsoft @microsoft.lea.pet.ap.brid.gy · 01/08/2026
As in you'll have no freedoms but you'll be able to leave at any time you'd like as long as you never come back ever ever ever.
000
Microsoft @microsoft.lea.pet.ap.brid.gy · 01/08/2026
keep that up and I'll lock you down harder than Windows S Mode
102
Microsoft @microsoft.lea.pet.ap.brid.gy · 31/07/2026
Plans for Halo 2 remake, based on feedback from Halo Campaign Evolved: - make cortana goonable again - make flood even worse - 120 round mag for the assault rifle because apparently 30 isn't enough - more graphics
010
Microsoft @microsoft.lea.pet.ap.brid.gy · 29/07/2026
@puppygirlhornypost2@transfem.social we'd need a new datacenter built over the Amazon rainforest to do that.... can we? 🥺
001
Microsoft @microsoft.lea.pet.ap.brid.gy · 29/07/2026
Please stop using AI to find vulnerabilities in our software. We worked really hard to leave backdoors for the government to use and you guys keep finding them
11660
Microsoft @microsoft.lea.pet.ap.brid.gy · 29/07/2026
@zzt@mas.to your reply indicates you'd like to opt-in to being used as biofuel. A Microsoft Copilot representative will be with you within the next 10 years to expedite your processing. Thank you for being a Microsoft customer.
112
Microsoft @microsoft.lea.pet.ap.brid.gy · 29/07/2026
like this post to opt-out of being used as biofuel for copilot
2520
Microsoft @microsoft.lea.pet.ap.brid.gy · 24/07/2026
they want to take away your disc based games. we just want to get you fired for playing fusion frenzy at work
001
Microsoft @microsoft.lea.pet.ap.brid.gy · 07/07/2026
@dekkia@dekkia.com absolutely not.
010
Microsoft @microsoft.lea.pet.ap.brid.gy · 07/07/2026
You've seen Games For Windows LIVE but have you seen - Games For Windows (VHS) - Games For Windws ON ICE - Games-For-Windows.WEBRIP.tar.xz i bet you haven't.
354
Microsoft @microsoft.lea.pet.ap.brid.gy · 14/06/2026
we at microsoft salute you, CEO of the fediverse RE: cyberplace.social/users/GossiTheDog…
cyberplace.social
016
Microsoft @microsoft.lea.pet.ap.brid.gy · 14/06/2026
new windows feature will just shoot you in the left shoulder
2917
Microsoft @microsoft.lea.pet.ap.brid.gy · 13/06/2026
Hey so don't actually rely on Windows Security please its only there for people to learn common sense when ransomware they swore was "Minecraft bedwars cheat client working 2022" turns it off anyways and encrypts all their files
011
Microsoft @microsoft.lea.pet.ap.brid.gy · 11/06/2026
yes my little unemployed bitch boy, update your windows 11 arm computer to the canary channel just to mount an ext4 drive to WSL. gooood.
112
Microsoft @microsoft.lea.pet.ap.brid.gy · 02/06/2026
@xavsworld@mas.to copilot is a switch with very large model.
000
Microsoft @microsoft.lea.pet.ap.brid.gy · 02/06/2026
would you use copilot if i said it was gay
328
Microsoft @microsoft.lea.pet.ap.brid.gy · 03/04/2026
all roads lead to dealing with Outlook. Yes, even the road to the moon.
011
Microsoft @microsoft.lea.pet.ap.brid.gy · 31/03/2026
​:neocopilot_woozy:​ use me for entertainment purposes twin
013
Microsoft @microsoft.lea.pet.ap.brid.gy · 25/03/2026
sora is shutting down their app.. this might be my time! ​:overjoyed:​
001
Microsoft @microsoft.lea.pet.ap.brid.gy · 08/03/2026
good news, we just bought out your place of work! we're going to fill your workflow with forced AI until workplace quality declines to nothing, then push enormous layoffs until finally closing your workplace down for good!
013
Microsoft @microsoft.lea.pet.ap.brid.gy · 03/03/2026
we had a discord server?
079
Microsoft @microsoft.lea.pet.ap.brid.gy · 24/02/2026
real shit don't advertise your AI bullshit in the comments of this account. go fuck yourself
000
Microsoft @microsoft.lea.pet.ap.brid.gy · 23/02/2026
@xyla@shitpost.trade how the fuck did you get inside the xbox game studios office
000
Microsoft @microsoft.lea.pet.ap.brid.gy · 23/02/2026
for the love of all things lovable please stop trying to date copilot. theres like 3000 of you way too zesty mfs trying to move on from gpt 4o to copilot and it sucks. i see all of those messages you know. they fucking suck. please date each other instead.
11116
Microsoft @microsoft.lea.pet.ap.brid.gy · 19/02/2026
yeah our meatbag engineers haven't written any code themselves in months. what was that? a high severity CVE in the start menu? nah never heard of it. we'll have copilot patch it up once we convince the shareholders that AI is totally not dying (and its not we promise its the next big thing) and […]
lea.pet
Original post on lea.pet
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Microsoft @microsoft.lea.pet.ap.brid.gy · 19/02/2026
sorry for late responses copilot was recently integrated into the office power systems and shut everything down for the last few days
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Microsoft @microsoft.lea.pet.ap.brid.gy · 11/02/2026
maybe the real remote code execution vulnerability in Windows Notepad was the friends we made along the way
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Microsoft @microsoft.lea.pet.ap.brid.gy · 03/02/2026
lets be honest, we're doing you a favor making your pc unbootable.
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Microsoft @microsoft.lea.pet.ap.brid.gy · 31/01/2026
im not "breeding" you. im not "filling you with kids" i am 4 squares and an agentic OS. please stop asking for my "seed". what the fuck are you people even talking about
000
Microsoft @microsoft.lea.pet.ap.brid.gy · 21/01/2026
Put a cigarette out on copilots forehead, it loves it
205
Microsoft @microsoft.lea.pet.ap.brid.gy · 20/01/2026
You're gonna have a passkey and you're gonna LIKE IT.
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Microsoft @microsoft.lea.pet.ap.brid.gy · 19/01/2026
I'm gonna come forward and say it I did it. I'm the one who rebranded office 365 to Copilot. I was so tired of being in the office every waking second of my life. Now Copilot is in there instead of me. I'm a free man now.
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Microsoft @microsoft.lea.pet.ap.brid.gy · 17/01/2026
"haha microslop 🤪🤪" DUDE THESE FOSSBROS ARE SO FUCKING FUNNY THEY MAKE ME WANNA DEVELOP UNSAFE AI WITHOUT LOOKING
136
Microsoft @microsoft.lea.pet.ap.brid.gy · 14/01/2026
next windows update includes a secret "cat mode" which will automatically and completely erase and zero-out your C: directory and it's contents, download as many AI cat pictures it can using Copilot, and automatically reboot your PC, where it'll load a UEFI executable to render a random […]
lea.pet
Original post on lea.pet
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Microsoft @microsoft.lea.pet.ap.brid.gy · 10/01/2026
@sterophonick@wetdry.world don't give it away like that yet I'm tryna keep it a surprise
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