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metamodernshad

@metamodernshad.bsky.social
216 followers 131 following 335 posts

Lawyer. Compassionate nihilist. Former advisor to Dwight Eisenhower. Most of those are true.

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Reposted by metamodernshad
Brandon Friedman @brandonfriedman.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
Pete is lost in terms of modern war. I use the example of this outgunned Ukrainian army officer who successfully terrorized a Russian unit for weeks because she "did the math." At the time, someone commented, "yeah, in combat, 'I did the math' beats 'I can do 100 pushups' every time."
Ukrainian female soldier: Okay, I said the idea is this: There is enough time to empty one full can of 32 grenades and be gone by the time the return mortar fire reaches us. I did the math.
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metamodernshad @metamodernshad.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
Any good faith discussions about Israel and Palestine should begin with an acknowledgment that this is all the fault of English colonialism.
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metamodernshad @metamodernshad.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
Do y’all ever think about how Pavlov probably thought about feeding his dog every time he heard a bell ring?
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Mik | Graphic Designer + Strategist @oksoboom.blacksky.app · 29/09/2026
Her (2013)
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metamodernshad @metamodernshad.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
Friendly reminder that you still have time to curate your Spotify Wrapped.
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David Forbes @davidforbes.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
Dems replaced action on trans rights with hollow statements, then dropped those statements, then embraced anti-trans rhetoric. Now supporting anti-trans laws and blocking pro-trans ones. At every step the "they're betraying us" radicals were correct and "be patient" liberals were completely wrong.
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metamodernshad @metamodernshad.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
How often do y’all think about the fact that in Dirty Dancing, Patrick Swayze’s character is in his mid-20s and Baby is 17?
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metamodernshad @metamodernshad.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
🎯
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metamodernshad @metamodernshad.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
I realize that we’ve been through the looking glass for some time now; however, I need for there to be more discourse in the media about the FBI-bestiality hearing.
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metamodernshad @metamodernshad.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
Oh good, gas is $5 per gallon again 🙃
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ProPublica @propublica.org · 11/09/2026
Did you know? Every year, the Supreme Court’s nine justices fill out a form that discloses their financial connections to companies and people. Our database allows you to search for organizations and people that have paid them, reimbursed them for travel and given them gifts.
projects.propublica.org
Supreme Connections: Search Supreme Court Disclosures — ProPublica
Search Supreme Court financial disclosures for organizations and people that have paid justices, reimbursed them for travel, given them gifts and more.
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metamodernshad @metamodernshad.bsky.social · 10/09/2026
Billy Joe Armstrong said in an interview that every boy should question their sexuality, and I, a 14 year old Green Day fan, said bet. I proceeded to meditate on my sexuality for the next several hours, which is very likely why I’m so secure in it now. Thanks, Billy.
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metamodernshad @metamodernshad.bsky.social · 10/09/2026
I don’t know, man, but maybe if GOP men didn’t make queerphobia their entire identity and allowed themselves to question and experiment with their sexuality, the Grindr outages wouldn’t be so funny.
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Chris Kluwe @chriswarcraft.bsky.social · 09/09/2026
There’s such an easy answer to this “gotcha” question and it’s “Sports are inherently unsafe and unfair and it’s ridiculous to single out trans athletes when we allow 150 pound linebackers to go up against 260 pound linemen in freshman football on a daily basis. Let kids play with their friends.”
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metamodernshad @metamodernshad.bsky.social · 09/09/2026
The client who needs to be talked down once per week, emails me 6 times per day, and keeps me on the phone for hours at a time is complaining about their bill 🙄
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metamodernshad @metamodernshad.bsky.social · 09/09/2026
The letter i on my work keyboard isn’t working but only when I’m trying to type in Outlook.
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metamodernshad @metamodernshad.bsky.social · 08/09/2026
My marriage was illegal during my parents’ lifetime.
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metamodernshad @metamodernshad.bsky.social · 06/09/2026
New Guy Ritchie movie, “In the Grey,” is actual dog shit. It is so painful watching the guy who made Snatch sink so low as to make this slop.
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metamodernshad @metamodernshad.bsky.social · 05/09/2026
I really do hope that current and future generations talk about MAGA America like we talk about Nazi Germany.
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metamodernshad @metamodernshad.bsky.social · 04/09/2026
Whenever someone calls me pedantic I inform them that a missing Oxford comma in a Maine labor law contract cost Oakhurst Dairy $5 million in a 2018 overtime settlement. I’m arguably committing malpractice if I’m not being pedantic.
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metamodernshad @metamodernshad.bsky.social · 04/09/2026
It’s kinda wild to me that I’m a first time newlywed and have friends who are on their second divorce.
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metamodernshad @metamodernshad.bsky.social · 03/09/2026
My parents really fled a crumbling empire just so I could live through this crumbling empire.
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laura olin @lauraolin.bsky.social · 03/09/2026
If you haven’t read the dedication of Gloria Steinem’s autobiography My Life on the Road, it is really worth taking a second today.
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metamodernshad @metamodernshad.bsky.social · 03/09/2026
Me: “How do you deal with *this particular flavor of obnoxious client*?” Partner: “I hand them off to my capable associate.”
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metamodernshad @metamodernshad.bsky.social · 02/09/2026
static.klipy.com
Javier Bardem as Anton Chigurh
ALT: Javier Bardem as Anton Chigurh
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metamodernshad @metamodernshad.bsky.social · 02/09/2026
This client loves to write email dissertations about how awful his ex is and yet forgets to answer the actual question I first asked him.
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metamodernshad @metamodernshad.bsky.social · 02/09/2026
A friend of ours just gave birth and said the OB came in and asked a lot of questions about depression. The Clancy trial is going to save lives.
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metamodernshad @metamodernshad.bsky.social · 26/08/2026
All the Flock cameras in my area have solar panels attached. So I guess Green New Deal things are very possible when used for the benefit of the police state?
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metamodernshad @metamodernshad.bsky.social · 26/08/2026
Do you mean walking?
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metamodernshad @metamodernshad.bsky.social · 21/08/2026
Has Adobe been constantly fucking up recently for everyone or have I specifically been marked by Satan?
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metamodernshad @metamodernshad.bsky.social · 17/08/2026
A prominent Russian banker defied the Kremlin and spoke about Russia’s mounting wartime debt. It’ll be a shame when he inevitably and unexpectedly falls out of a 20-story window in the coming months.
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metamodernshad @metamodernshad.bsky.social · 13/08/2026
We’re all in agreement that we’re leaving this space when the new MySpace launches, yes?
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metamodernshad @metamodernshad.bsky.social · 06/08/2026
My current favorite words in the English language: “mutual two week discovery extension.”
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ProPublica @propublica.org · 06/08/2026
Have you ever noticed your monthly SNAP benefits are low? Every year, hundreds of thousands of people are the victims of EBT theft. If you think your SNAP benefits may have been stolen, we want to hear your story.
propublica.org
Have Your SNAP Benefits Ever Been Stolen? Help ProPublica Investigate.
We need your help to report on EBT theft. Please share this form with others in your community who’ve found their SNAP benefits disappeared.
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Katelyn Burns @katelynburns.com · 06/08/2026
Every single Republican and gender critical person, including JK Rowling, supports this happening to you. They brag about building a future in which this type of humilating incident is common.
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Paul Rosenberg @paulrosenberg.bsky.social · 05/08/2026
I see 4 major developments manifest in yesterday's elections: 1) El-Sayed's victory, along with multiple downballot victories shows a significant expansion of DSA/Sanders/AOC-aligned power in the heartland, where we've been told it just couldn't reach. 1/5
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metamodernshad @metamodernshad.bsky.social · 05/08/2026
Me, a dumb bitch: “I think I want to do family law again.” Me, a dumb bitch 3 months later: “Call me Biggie Smalls because I’m ready to die.”
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metamodernshad @metamodernshad.bsky.social · 31/07/2026
open.substack.com/pub/chuckhal...
open.substack.com
I Cried on October 7th. Then I Kept Crying.
I’m Jewish, and I have the 23andMe results to prove it.
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Ana Marie Cox @anamariecox.com · 21/07/2026
Most of us freelancers, no matter how famous or successful you think we are, are just a stroke or two of bad luck away from financial disaster. If you have a few bucks, consider throwing them Richard's way.
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metamodernshad @metamodernshad.bsky.social · 21/07/2026
I am once again begging my clients to stop asking me to give them permission to do something obviously illegal.
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metamodernshad @metamodernshad.bsky.social · 17/07/2026
@littlebitoflala.bsky.social: “Do you think your life changed when you met me?” Me: “Bitch, we’re married… so yes.”
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metamodernshad @metamodernshad.bsky.social · 16/07/2026
Drafted a 9 page motion to dismiss for a 5 page complaint. That’s how bad OC’s complaint is.
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metamodernshad @metamodernshad.bsky.social · 14/07/2026
Stop saying there’s “controversy” over Nolan’s “Odyssey” film and instead say that a bunch of white supremacist chuds are upset that Black and trans people exist. Criticism that no actual Greek actors were cast are fair though. Glad to clear that up ☺️
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Ana Marie Cox @anamariecox.com · 10/07/2026
I think a lot of people have spent a lot of time trying draw universal truths about the state of Politics Today from the Platner situation. I wonder if the only thing that’s truly generalizable is women fear coming forward about SA and all red flags deserve attention.
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metamodernshad @metamodernshad.bsky.social · 10/07/2026
This might be an extremely cold take but Chicago riverwalk restaurants are for tourists who don’t know any better and finance bros who have more money than taste… the views are beautiful though.
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metamodernshad @metamodernshad.bsky.social · 10/07/2026
Shout out to the dude on the train sucking on a tomato.
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Kevin M. Kruse @kevinmkruse.bsky.social · 08/07/2026
I don't know, man, I think if Joe Biden had kept confusing Zelenskyy with Putin and Iran with Japan, the media might have made a pretty big deal about it?
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☀️Huma☀️ @huma.bsky.social · 07/07/2026
Fun fact: we now have more information that suggests that contrary to the schizophrenic ramblings of desert dwellers who were mouthpieces for their imaginary friend with superpowers, the pyramids were likely built by skilled laborers gizamedia.rc.fas.harvard.edu/images/MFA-i...
gizamedia.rc.fas.harvard.edu
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Kat Abughazaleh @katmabu.bsky.social · 07/07/2026
I don’t understand how people can run for office knowing they have insane baggage and/or crimes. Like I spent the entire campaign expecting AIPAC to somehow dig up my middle school livejournal fanfic account. I prepared my family for it. I’m still amazed it didn’t happen.
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metamodernshad @metamodernshad.bsky.social · 05/07/2026
Back on my bullshit (read: starting a new Elden Ring run).
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