Matty @mattyhayward.com · 29/09/2026First thing I say on this topic when someone asks is I couldn’t afford this (definitely not new-build) one-bed flat if I was single 😭 100
Reposted by MattyIt's Pipes, Mum! Pipes is here! @scriblit.bsky.social · 27/09/2026*blackadder theme* His head is bigger than a fence He breathes, and everything gets warmer His urge to trample represents A nation's nuclear war trauma Godzilla! Godzilla! The scourge of beast and man! Godzilla! Godzilla! He's flattening Japan! 231010374
Matty @mattyhayward.com · 15/09/2026Yes, I do work occasionally (Not saying there needs to be a camera, but…) 2530
Matty @mattyhayward.com · 29/08/2026You signed a what out of social embarrassment? I sometimes buy the big issue out of social embarrassment but I don’t sign a fucking contract~ 010
Matty @mattyhayward.com · 25/08/2026This is the most tanned I’ve been in a decade+ (and yet I’m still Dulux Moon Shimmer colour) 0460
Matty @mattyhayward.com · 20/08/2026Just before he saw something he has no memory of… (it rained) 0150
Reposted by MattyNadine Batchelor-Hunt @nadinebh.bsky.social · 14/08/2026I don’t think there’s ever been a clearer example of the British media bullying someone, who was so clearly vulnerable, to death so shamelessly in my lifetime for engagement and clicks And now we’ll have to watch the people that did it claim they’re shocked, and horrified Revolting 1093988838
Matty @mattyhayward.com · 11/08/2026For perspective on how crazy it’s been lately, in England EVERY month since January has been at least +2.5°C warmer than the 1961-1990 average. The warmest year (recorded since 1659) was last year (+1.76°C)… we’re currently at +2.6°C so far in 2026..!bbc.co.ukUK weather: Summer 2026 on course to be hottest on record, says Met OfficeOnly average conditions are needed for the remainder of August to break the record, which was set just last year. 083
Matty @mattyhayward.com · 11/08/2026Starting to think that there’s no hope for a tan this year somehow 0270
Reposted by MattyDaniel Solis @danielsolis.bsky.social · 30/07/2026There are two wolves. One always lies. One controls the lever of trolley track. They're in a state of superposition inside a box. On the trolley are infinite monkeys at infinite typewriters going to an infinite hotel. The trolley must first travel halfway, but before that a quarterway, and so on... 19839206
Matty @mattyhayward.com · 31/07/2026Inside info is it’s great for what it was meant for (meningitis B) but it’s use for gonorrhea is fairly limited overall, it’s becoming clearer 010
Matty @mattyhayward.com · 24/07/2026I have such an intense nostalgia for warm nights I just can’t shake it 260
Matty @mattyhayward.com · 20/07/2026DSIT dead then I’ll soon be able to post the grim reaper door knocking meme for the departments that have folded while I’ve been with them~ 030
Matty @mattyhayward.com · 20/07/2026Spare a thought today to GOV.UK content people having to update minster’s pages at the speed of Wikipedia 0100
Matty @mattyhayward.com · 19/07/2026Hockey away weekend was, as always, grossly demure and respectable 1340
![Comic. [A college building labeled “Department of Geology” with a diagonal slash through center making it look uneven.] [caption] The administration regretted giving the geology department free rein to design their new building.](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:cz73r7iyiqn26upot4jtjdhk/bafkreiauxqpr37ipybyyjkyqz2ykojtxsilvnahvvs7heo47ie2wm4nrve)
