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Matt Cohen

@mattcohen.bsky.social
1.3K followers 594 following 2.6K posts

Eisner Award nominee for "The Ghastlygun Tinies." Writes for MAD Magazine, The American Bystander, and The New Yorker. Created the hit card game Too Many Monkeys. Working on books for YOU. Profile pic by Tara O'Connor. He/Him

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Matt Cohen @mattcohen.bsky.social · 7h
"No way to prevent this..." There's a good chance you don't need to see the end of that sentence to know what comes next because those words have been reprinted so many times. And they've been reprinted so many times because they needed to be.
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Matt Cohen @mattcohen.bsky.social · 7h
www.ms.now/news/shootin...
ms.now
5 believed dead after reported shooting at Oregon elementary school, AP says
The suspected shooter has been killed, according to authorities. Multiple others have been injured, including children.
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Matt Cohen @mattcohen.bsky.social · 7h
Just saw a photo caption on a news story that begins with the words "Emergency vehicles and school buses..." Let those words sink in. Emergency vehicles and school buses. What's wrong with us?
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Matt Cohen @mattcohen.bsky.social · 8h
If you're looking for a way to take action NOW, consider supporting gun-sense organizations like: @momsdemandaction.org @everytown.org (10/10)
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Matt Cohen @mattcohen.bsky.social · 8h
Maybe things would change if we ALL had to spend hours making desperate phone calls every time this happened. #EndGunViolence (9/10)
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Matt Cohen @mattcohen.bsky.social · 8h
Because when we say that our hearts "go out to the people of Louisiana" or that we "stand with Florida," the names of those places protect us emotionally. This defense mechanism helps to keep us sane, but it also allows us to be inactive. (8/10)
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Matt Cohen @mattcohen.bsky.social · 8h
Perhaps to unite us in action -- or at least to unite us in empathy -- we should stop reporting where these shootings happen. The news should simply say there was a shooting at a church, but not which church. Or a school, but not what town. Or a store, but not what state. (7/10)
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Matt Cohen @mattcohen.bsky.social · 8h
...horror of the uncertainty (let alone the trauma of the unique grief that follows a violent and premature loss.) I fear that our emotional distance allows us to collectively not prioritize making the necessary changes to stop this from happening again. (6/10)
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Matt Cohen @mattcohen.bsky.social · 8h
As most of us watch this (or the next) shooting from hundreds of miles away, our hearts understandably go out to those who are directly affected. And yet, our physical distance also provides us with an emotional distance from what's happening. We don't know the true... (5/10)
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Matt Cohen @mattcohen.bsky.social · 8h
...for those people living in the community, it can take excruciating hours to find out if their child, their spouse, their sibling, or their parent is safe. I assure you, those families will never forget the terror of not knowing. (4/10)
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Matt Cohen @mattcohen.bsky.social · 8h
Imagine not knowing if they're dead, alive, or somewhere in between. In the days and weeks following mass shootings, we tend to forget that there's a prolonged period where the number of victims (let alone their identity) is unknown. Please remember that. Because... (3/10)
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Matt Cohen @mattcohen.bsky.social · 8h
...people were injured or how critical their condition is, take a moment to imagine what this uncertainty must feel like for people in the community. Imagine if someone you love MIGHT have been at the mall, or the supermarket, or the school, or the theater, or the office. (2/10)
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Matt Cohen @mattcohen.bsky.social · 8h
Once again we find ourselves following a developing story of a mass shooting. Although it's natural to want more details, it might be helpful to instead focus on what it FEELS like to NOT KNOW exactly what happened. In this hazy period where we don't know how many... (1/10)
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Matt Cohen @mattcohen.bsky.social · 13h
Movie studios warned us that piracy was not a victimless crime. That was back in the good old days before companies realized that *they* could use generative AI to pirate content from *us.*
This is the text that used to come up at the start of a movie. It says "This DVD is for private home viewing only. It is not authorized for any other use. Any public performance, copying or other use is strictly prohibited. Duplication in whole or in part of this DVD is prohibited. All other rights reserved."This is another anti-piracy warning. It says "Piracy is not a victimless crime. For more information on how digital theft harms the economy, please visit www.iprcenter.gov." If you go to that website now, you can see that they've sold their soul and they're offering training on how artificial intelligence can be "used by brands to bolster IP and brand protection practices."
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Matt Cohen @mattcohen.bsky.social · 15h
I’ll be upset if they don’t change the name from “library” to “libeary.”
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Matt Cohen @mattcohen.bsky.social · 15/10/2026
They say they want us to live in a world of maximum leisure and minimal labor. The only way that's going to happen is if our leaders MAKE it happen.
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Matt Cohen @mattcohen.bsky.social · 15/10/2026
...25%.) The AI oligarchs keep fantasizing about the utopian world that their new toy will create. How? They don't want to pay taxes now, so who's going to keep people from starving in the streets after they amass even more wealth at the direct expense of everybody else?
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Matt Cohen @mattcohen.bsky.social · 15/10/2026
...on a grander scale than the world has ever seen. Universal health care. A guaranteed living wage. We're going to NEED all of this and more after the AI companies make good on their promise to wipe out 50 to 80 percent of all jobs. (For reference, unemployment in the great depression was under...
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Matt Cohen @mattcohen.bsky.social · 15/10/2026
Somebody in congress needs to introduce "The Super Intelligence Preparedness Act." But it shouldn't be about allowing tech companies to build more data centers. It should be about PREPARING for the economic devastation that AI will cause. It needs to be about establishing a social safety net...
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Matt Cohen @mattcohen.bsky.social · 15/10/2026
A year ago someone stole my license plates. By the time I realized it, there was nothing I could do. Theft is here. It's inevitable... ...and yet I didn't stop locking my door at night. And I didn't start stealing from my neighbors even though crime is here to stay. This is a post about AI.
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Matt Cohen @mattcohen.bsky.social · 14/10/2026
Read this now.
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Matt Cohen @mattcohen.bsky.social · 13/10/2026
Happy #PortfolioDay! I'm an Eisner Award nominated writer who can't draw, but here are some samples of my work illustrated by Marc Palm, @gemmacorrell.bsky.social, @aledles.bsky.social, and @charratastica.bsky.social! I'm currently writing novels and graphic novels (while also seeking a new agent.)
This is the the first of four pages from "The Ghastlygun Tinies." It was published by MAD Magazine. The writer is Matt Cohen and the Artist is Marc Palm. The text reads:
"A is for Alice the young science wiz
B is for Brian cramming for a quiz
C is for Connor in his English Class
D is for Dana who had a hall pass"This is the first panel of a comic that was published by The New Yorker. It was written by Matt Cohen and illustrated by Gemma Correll. 

The brightly colored art by Gemma Correll indicated that this "advice" is dripping with irony. The text reads:

"HOW TO PRETEND TO BE HAPPY

1. Practice Fake Smiles

Practice smiling in the mirror. Wider. No, I said WIDER. Smile harder, damn it! You suck at this. Nobody else needs to practice smiling, so you must be broken. That's why you don't deserve happiness. SMILE!

There, that wasn't so hard. Now just do that all day, every day, until people learn what a fraud you are."This is the opening of a Dr. Seuss parody that was published in MAD Magazine. It was written by Matt Cohen and illustrated by Marc Palm.

It was called ""Free Speeches On The Beaches." The text reads:

"When the Verified Speeches 
Had checks that were blue
It made the Free Speeches
Want blue check marks too.

Their check envy was weird and their logic was flawed
Since the checks were just there to protect them from fraud.

Then one day at the beach there arrived a strange gent
Riding in a green car that he didn't invent.
He said, 'I'm Elon Musk. Do you crave respect?
Well, for just 20 bucks your names will be checked!
No check! New check!
Gold check! Blue check!
All trolls wanting check marks are hereby approved!
Soon 'Elites' will pay me to have theirs removed!'"

The rest of the text is cropped out of the image.This is sample page from the proposal for a graphic novel called Arcade Days. Set in 1980, it tells the story of a girl who relieves the stress of starting at a new school by creating a video game... but when her pixelated hero becomes a national sensation she'll have to defeat the real-world bad guys who want to exploit her game for every quarter they can! 

Arcade Days is written by Matt Cohen and illustrated by Ale Green and Fanny Rodriguez.
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Matt Cohen @mattcohen.bsky.social · 13/10/2026
Want to mock a famous person? Avoid rookie mistakes with my handy guide to making fun of Scott Baio! www.dailykos.com/stories/2026...
dailykos.com
How To Make Fun Of Scott Baio
How To Make Fun Of Scott Baio If you’ve been making fun of Scott Baio by calling him a has-been, you’ve been doing it wrong. He may not be doing much right now, but he’s kind of had an amazing career…
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Matt Cohen @mattcohen.bsky.social · 13/10/2026
The other boys on the school bus used to race to identify the make of passing cars. Shouting out the name of the car first meant that it THEIR car. They'd argue over who called dibs first. It felt alien to me. (To this day I wonder how much that game impacted the way men view women.)
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Matt Cohen @mattcohen.bsky.social · 13/10/2026
This has strong "It's Not Easy Bein' Green" vibes (in a good way.)
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Matt Cohen @mattcohen.bsky.social · 13/10/2026
I prefer it when you're grouped together like this: Ryan North's adaptation of Kurt Vonnegut's Slaughterhouse Five and Renee Nault's adaptation of Margaret Atwood's The Handmaid's Tale are both excellent.
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Reposted by Matt Cohen
Tara O’Connor @taraocomics.bsky.social · 13/10/2026
Hey #portfolioday! I’m Tara I write and draw comics! I’m working on adapting a book that’s TBA but I have plenty of fun pitches looking for homes! Stories ranging from MG witches to YA slice of life to adult memoirs about motherhood! I’m repped by Andrea Colvin! No AI EVER 🚫 TaraOComics.com
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Matt Cohen @mattcohen.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
This story is for every straight white dude who throws temper tantrum whenever the star of a movie or TV show doesn't look exactly like them. www.dailykos.com/stories/2026...
dailykos.com
The Plot To Rule The World: A Choose Your Own Destiny Story
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Matt Cohen @mattcohen.bsky.social · 13/10/2026
Lorne Michaels keeps platforming stuff like this because that's his nature. He prefers edgelord comics over actually trenchant commentary. Or any comedy. That's why comedy legends like Patton Oswalt and Weird Al have never hosted... but white supremasists like Donald Trump and Elon Musk have.
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Matt Cohen @mattcohen.bsky.social · 13/10/2026
1984 and The Handmaid's Tale are great dystopian fiction, but I keep thinking about Rhinoceros. Instead of focusing directly on fascists, it looks at the everyday people who *comply* with fascists. It explores what it feels like to be isolated in your resistance while your neighbors all capitulate.
John Turturro in the recent A.R.T. production of Eugène Ionesco’s "Rhinoceros." (Courtesy A.R.T./Hawver and Hall.) The production also starred Paul Giamatti and Tatiana Maslany. It was directed by Diane Paulus.
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Matt Cohen @mattcohen.bsky.social · 13/10/2026
James Hetfield doesn't want OTHER performers to have political opinions... but he was 100% on board with politics in 2008 when his music was being used to torture people. As Elie Wiesel said, "Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented." And as Chumbawamba said: youtu.be/k-QsFMIoPa8?...
youtu.be
Torturing James Hetfield
YouTube video by Chumbawamba - Topic
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Matt Cohen @mattcohen.bsky.social · 13/10/2026
AI: John Steinbeck is a British author. There are three syllables in the name "Bobcat Goldthwait." AI RESEARCHES: Amazing results! Let's knowingly try to catch a fatal disease because AI is clearly close to finding the cure!
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Reposted by Matt Cohen
Erin Nations @erin-nations.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
A recent comic I made.
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Matt Cohen @mattcohen.bsky.social · 12/10/2026
This, this, a thousand percent this! Sadly, my Senators are exactly the sort of people who value presenting themselves as being bipartisan far more than they value actually ensuring justice for their constituents.
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Robert Reich @rbreich.bsky.social · 12/10/2026
Today is Indigenous Peoples Day. Please remove Columbus Day from your vocabulary.
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Matt Cohen @mattcohen.bsky.social · 12/10/2026
...Skydance to destroy the journalistic integrity of CBS News and turn 60 Minutes into a punchline. And now CNN is next. I'd say that satirists are like canaries in a coal mine, but the metaphorical coal mine is shutting down their coal business. They're a full time canary slaughterhouse now. (3/X)
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Matt Cohen @mattcohen.bsky.social · 12/10/2026
...it becomes easier for them to crack down on other more "serious" forms of dissent. If you're not allowed to even couch your criticism in humor, then you're not allowed to make any criticisms at all. CBS sacrificed Colbert's show to pave the way for a Skydance merger. That merger allowed... (2/X)
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Matt Cohen @mattcohen.bsky.social · 12/10/2026
You can tell that satire is important because corporations are trying to silence the satirists. Thin-skinned fascists and oligarchs fear being ridiculed because making fun of powerful people is one of the most accessible forms of opposition. Once the powerful make it taboo to mock them... (1/X)
static.klipy.com
ALT:
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Matt Cohen @mattcohen.bsky.social · 12/10/2026
This is on the shortlist for the 2026 Don Martin Awards.
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Matt Cohen @mattcohen.bsky.social · 12/10/2026
Speaking of cowardice: Why has James Talarico been throwing trans people under the bus when he knows that a brave man would defend them and thereby set a *positive* example for his fellow Texans?
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Matt Cohen @mattcohen.bsky.social · 09/10/2026
SESAME STREET: There are five people in Pentatonix. AI: There are three people in Pentatonix. TRUMP: That sounds like SUPER Intelligence to me!
This is an excerpt of the AI summary of a Google search for “Mitch Grassi.” It includes an overview saying that “He’s one-third of the incredibly successful a cappella group Pentatonix, known for their vocal arrangements and popular YouTube channel.” This is Pentatonix on Sesame Street singing a medley that teaches viewers how to count to five. Toddlers have better counting skills than the AI that people want to use to run every aspect of our lives.
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Matt Cohen @mattcohen.bsky.social · 09/10/2026
Memo to @drannieandrews.com: Betraying trans people didn't stop MAGA from calling James Talarico trans and it won't stop them from doing the same to you.
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Matt Cohen @mattcohen.bsky.social · 09/10/2026
"First they came for the trans people And I did not speak out Because I was a Democrat who was concerned about 'safety' in girls sports Then they realized that they didn't need to come for anybody else Because they could just label ANYBODY 'trans' Including me even though I capitulated"
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Matt Cohen @mattcohen.bsky.social · 09/10/2026
Brad Bird's new movie Ray Gunn looks great, but a functioning free and independent press looks better so I won't be watching this Skydance film.
"It looks like a double homicide. They knocked off journalism and democracy. The main suspects are Larry and David Ellison, but the other oligarch crime families probably had a hand in it too."
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Matt Cohen @mattcohen.bsky.social · 09/10/2026
Good news for fans of dystopian novels: The president just figured out he can get ratings for killing people.
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Matt Cohen @mattcohen.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
I despise AI passionately, but even I know that "Artificial Intelligence" is a cool *name* for it. It's a name that taps into a sci-fi mystique. It sounds like something from the future that Star Trek promised us. Trump is too stupid to see that.
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Matt Cohen @mattcohen.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
This story is for every straight white dude who throws temper tantrum whenever the star of a movie or TV show doesn't look exactly like them. www.dailykos.com/stories/2026...
dailykos.com
The Plot To Rule The World: A Choose Your Own Destiny Story
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Matt Cohen @mattcohen.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
The "something great" that Musk built in the US was a bot that named itself "MechaHitler."
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Matt Cohen @mattcohen.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
Do you know somebody who can do something about it? Not YOU obviously, maybe one of your colleagues with a spine?
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Matt Cohen @mattcohen.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
Hunnicutt. Charles is saying Hunnicutt.
Every time I see video clips of MASH, the autogenerated captioning  thinks that Major Charles Emerson Winchester III is talking about Hanukkah when he's actually mentioning the name of his colleague B.J. Hunnicutt.
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