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Matthew Haughey

@mathowie.xoxo.zone.ap.brid.gy
1.6K followers 12 following 2.2K posts

Internet nerd from way way back. Currently: writing. Mostly jokes. 🌉 bridged from ⁂ xoxo.zone/@mathowie, follow @ap.brid.gy to interact

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Matthew Haughey @mathowie.xoxo.zone.ap.brid.gy · 15h
SeaTac airport might be in the top five for worst signage in an American airport
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Matthew Haughey @mathowie.xoxo.zone.ap.brid.gy · 16h
ACAB unfortunately includes drug sniffing cute little beagles too
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Matthew Haughey @mathowie.xoxo.zone.ap.brid.gy · 18h
Mt. Rainier from the plane
Mt rainier from the plane photo
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Matthew Haughey @mathowie.xoxo.zone.ap.brid.gy · 03/10/2026
The hardest part of flying home from Japan is adjusting to the time change. For example in Tokyo I got to experience a future where everyone deserves dignity but I’m flying back to a country intent on pushing itself back to the 1950s. It’s hard to adjust your watch to that.
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Matthew Haughey @mathowie.xoxo.zone.ap.brid.gy · 02/10/2026
Saw a $175k hand built Toyota Century driving last night in Tokyo and honestly thought it was a Bentley. It looks incredible and also a supreme flex to drive a huge SUV among kei cars.
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Matthew Haughey @mathowie.xoxo.zone.ap.brid.gy · 02/10/2026
✅ caught the last train of the night, two nights in a row! I consider this a win and it also means I got to wring out the last moments of fun you can possibly pack into a single day in Tokyo
EERI
I Departure time
Casification Destination
2
23:50
ER 1st
1
Please make sure you do not miss this train.
ouch it and contact the station staff or notify t
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Matthew Haughey @mathowie.xoxo.zone.ap.brid.gy · 02/10/2026
For my last night in Tokyo I decided to go all out on a high end omakase meal. I had the best fish I’ve ever had and remember this night for years.
The chef used clear soy sauce on the nigiri hereSea urchin bitesSmoked fish sushiSeared toro, aka the greatest bite of fish I’ve ever eaten
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Matthew Haughey @mathowie.xoxo.zone.ap.brid.gy · 02/10/2026
I’ve been wearing clear frame eyeglasses for over a decade because they were interesting when I first saw them. I’m shopping for new frames but realized clear shows everyone around me that I’m not using any Meta bullshit creeper frames. I think I’ll stick with clear.
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Matthew Haughey @mathowie.xoxo.zone.ap.brid.gy · 01/10/2026
I’m obsessed with the Mitsuoka Viewt, a Japanese homage to the 1963 Jaguar Mark II, riding on a new Toyota Yaris chassis underneath.
A Mitsuoka Viewt on the streetA Mitsuoka Viewt parked on the street
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Matthew Haughey @mathowie.xoxo.zone.ap.brid.gy · 01/10/2026
Trump insiders buying .si domains months ago to resell knowing SI news would come out is so wildly stupid. Trump insiders were already grifting hard on crypto and AI, buying up domains seems like stealing the free pens at a bank after you robbed the vault […]
xoxo.zone
Original post on xoxo.zone
142
Matthew Haughey @mathowie.xoxo.zone.ap.brid.gy · 01/10/2026
First post-typhoon sunny day in Tokyo made for a nice sunset
Sunset photo from a high rise
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Matthew Haughey @mathowie.xoxo.zone.ap.brid.gy · 01/10/2026
solid life advice tbh
Do not rush
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Matthew Haughey @mathowie.xoxo.zone.ap.brid.gy · 01/10/2026
This is a niche question but why is Del Fava on our U-23 USWNT? (she’s currently O+5 from U23) #nwsl
U-23 WOMEN'S
YOUTH NATIONAL
TEAM
4
USA
1
****
USP
11
13
USP
=
ussoccer.comU.S. U-23 WNT OCTOBER ROSTER BYC
POSITION - (CLUB; HOMETOWN)
DOMESTIC TRAINING CAMP AND MATCHES
- FAYETTEVILLE, GA.
Goalkeepers (2): Angelina Anderson (Angel City
FC; Danville, Calif.), Teagan Wy (Gotham FC;
Rancho Santa Margarita, Calif.)
Defenders (8): Jordyn Bugg (Seattle Reign FC; El
Cajon, Calif.), Carol
Calzada (Portland Thorns
FC; Sugar Hill, Ga.), Kate Del Fava (Utah Royals FC;
Kenosha, Wis.), Heather Gilchrist (Bay FC;
Boulder, Colo.), SavyKing (Angel City FC; WestKate Del Fava
American soccer player
Source: News - Illinois State University
Age
28 years
July 23, 1998
Current team
Utah
Royals
#8 /..
V
HOW DO YOU DO, FELLOW
KIDS?
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Matthew Haughey @mathowie.xoxo.zone.ap.brid.gy · 30/09/2026
wandering around Shinjuku last night
Umbrellas everywhere The electronics shopping areaA nice random side streetMore umbrella crowds
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Matthew Haughey @mathowie.xoxo.zone.ap.brid.gy · 30/09/2026
This skimboading game is surprisingly awesome on an iPhone. wavedash.com/games/matt-portners-pr…
wavedash.com
Play Matt Portner's Pro Skimboarder for Free on Wavedash
Hit the shoreline in Matt Portner’s Pro Skimboarder, a playful tribute to classic extreme sports games. Skim across shallow water, carve through the shore break, and chase the perfect ride. The waves…
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Matthew Haughey @mathowie.xoxo.zone.ap.brid.gy · 29/09/2026
I’m planning to write up my entire trip to Japan as a blog post when I get back home next week, but while I was doing laundry today, I killed time by writing up the experience of spending a day at DisneySea. Spoiler alert: it’s a fucking fantastic theme park […]
xoxo.zone
Original post on xoxo.zone
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Matthew Haughey @mathowie.xoxo.zone.ap.brid.gy · 29/09/2026
It’s time for some Giants vs Carps baseball!
Inside the Tokyo Dome, an hour before first pitch
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Matthew Haughey @mathowie.xoxo.zone.ap.brid.gy · 29/09/2026
My first Ohtani of the day: Green tea ad on a vending machine
COLD
(COLD
VOrI
ILIS
JU
Green Tea for Goo
Green Tea for Good & 1t.
.....
SA 2025.02.15ł
Oi Ocha
Un Green Tea
veetened
IWATE 2024.08.04
HOKKA/DO 2024.09.14
OKINAWA 2024.10.19
460~
EE
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Matthew Haughey @mathowie.xoxo.zone.ap.brid.gy · 29/09/2026
Translation apps are amazing. I just got *perfect* fried chicken bento at a lunch place next to my hotel. Total cost? $5 (800¥)
Translate
English (US) C
May I please order
the chicken lunch
special as
takeout?
Japanese vLunch!
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Matthew Haughey @mathowie.xoxo.zone.ap.brid.gy · 29/09/2026
Years ago I learned about a symbol used for temples on Japanese maps, but it still shocked me when I saw it on my own phone while checking directions The 25% Ashkenazi in me screamed “you’re walking TOWARDS that symbol?!” Then I realized I also took a very crowded train to get there. Whoa.
Taishoji Temple
Chofugaoka 1

Walk to destination
0.3 miles, about 9 min
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Matthew Haughey @mathowie.xoxo.zone.ap.brid.gy · 29/09/2026
The Tokyo transit museum is only a couple miles from me but it’s in a weird spot that requires an hour spent across three different subways to get there. Maps tells me a taxi is only a 19min trip but it seems off-brand to take a car to a train museum.
260
Matthew Haughey @mathowie.xoxo.zone.ap.brid.gy · 29/09/2026
Turned on my hotel TV thinking “I’ve never seen what regular live Japanese TV is like, I wonder if it’ll be like” and there’s a nice piano being played while a cat sits on the piano, with lots of closeups of the cat not the musician for several minutes. 10/10 no notes
Cat on a piano looking relaxedCloseup of the cat
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Matthew Haughey @mathowie.xoxo.zone.ap.brid.gy · 28/09/2026
I’ve lived all my life where the “close doors” elevator button does nothing so it’s truly remarkable to be in Japan where the same button instantly closes the doors on every elevator you board.
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Matthew Haughey @mathowie.xoxo.zone.ap.brid.gy · 28/09/2026
I tried out Google Translate live transcription of a DisneySea introduction and got this gem. We live in the future!
Japanese → English
ULT ENTE
FACTO
Thank you for the meal. If
you have any heat rash,
please come in next to
those with heat rash. If you
are involved in the meat
business, please get rid of it
now and get ready. Then
we'll have a tribute.
1× Volume Low
Text only
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Matthew Haughey @mathowie.xoxo.zone.ap.brid.gy · 28/09/2026
DisneySea is blowing me away with the level of detail in every inch of the park. I got dinner in the Frozen land and this is two dining rooms out of five. Every beam is hand painted. The wall art is original oil paintings. The lighting is phenomenal, all for a quick service restaurant.
Arendale dining roomArendale dining room
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Matthew Haughey @mathowie.xoxo.zone.ap.brid.gy · 28/09/2026
I’m getting on the 20,000 leagues under the sea ride and I hope I can understand the storyline because I hadn’t seen any of the first 19,000 leagues.
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Matthew Haughey @mathowie.xoxo.zone.ap.brid.gy · 28/09/2026
I’m at DisneySea in the Aladdin-themed area and all I’m saying is that you should be allowed to steal bread from the food court.
Alladin casbah dining area at DisneySea
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Matthew Haughey @mathowie.xoxo.zone.ap.brid.gy · 27/09/2026
sometimes when you visit another country it can feel like going back in a time machine
Tower Records still operates as a music store in Tokyo! Toys R Us still exists in Japan!I can’t remember the last time I saw a Coco ‘s in America but they have them in Tokyo
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Matthew Haughey @mathowie.xoxo.zone.ap.brid.gy · 26/09/2026
My first night wandering Tokyo after landing last night
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Matthew Haughey @mathowie.xoxo.zone.ap.brid.gy · 25/09/2026
A depressing thing about Oregon is you see Drazan for Governor signs everywhere even though she wants to make abortion illegal which is an unpopular position, but she’s polling close to 50/50 against the current gov. I’ve only seen one “Tina” sign, statewide. Ugh.
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Matthew Haughey @mathowie.xoxo.zone.ap.brid.gy · 25/09/2026
someone turned seven years old today!
Lucy in a birthday hatLucy eating a treat
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Matthew Haughey @mathowie.xoxo.zone.ap.brid.gy · 25/09/2026
My favorite genre of Instagram reel is the ones that ask a man on the street “do you think you could beat a pro woman athlete at her chosen sport?” and every guy says “oh sure I could out shoot a WNBA star” and then a woman appears and completely obliterates the dudes completely.
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Matthew Haughey @mathowie.xoxo.zone.ap.brid.gy · 24/09/2026
I was 1000% awake at my normal bedtime so I watched TV then played a relaxing open world ps5 game until I noticed it was 4:07AM. I turned everything off and woke up to an alarm 3hrs later. Later on, I realized through a comedy of errors I drank 72oz of Coca Cola in one day. A six pack of caffeine!
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Matthew Haughey @mathowie.xoxo.zone.ap.brid.gy · 24/09/2026
The most annoying thing about Apple today is that in 20+ years of using their products daily, it's only in the last year that my desktop and phone are constantly telling me I'm running out of storage space even though I pay for a 4Tb iCloud account. Apple used to manage on-device vs cloud well.
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Matthew Haughey @mathowie.xoxo.zone.ap.brid.gy · 23/09/2026
Tonight’s Portland Fire game was one for the ages. Great work by a great team who finished a great first season. #yaysports
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Matthew Haughey @mathowie.xoxo.zone.ap.brid.gy · 23/09/2026
The WPBL championship game 5 is on ESPN right now and is a hell of a nail biter. Go LA Queens!
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Matthew Haughey @mathowie.xoxo.zone.ap.brid.gy · 22/09/2026
current status
Me on a bike ride
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Matthew Haughey @mathowie.xoxo.zone.ap.brid.gy · 21/09/2026
There’s an old saying that if you dig deeply into any aspect of US History, you’ll find rampant racism. Today’s unexpected lesson: the “King Ranch” trim on Ford trucks celebrates a guy who helped the confederacy during the civil war, stole land, and stole livestock […]
xoxo.zone
Original post on xoxo.zone
134
Matthew Haughey @mathowie.xoxo.zone.ap.brid.gy · 21/09/2026
after hearing good things, I went out and saw Coyote vs. Acme and my hot take is that the movie maybe should have been shelved forever. It wasn't nearly as funny as reviews made it out to be, just a pretty forgettable movie that I laughed maybe twice in.
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Matthew Haughey @mathowie.xoxo.zone.ap.brid.gy · 20/09/2026
LinkedIn knows what I search for and sends weekly emails about jobs and usually it has a useless stat. This one was eye-opening. 74% drop? IN A WEEK?! If you search for writer roles today, most results are positions reviewing AI output for AI companies, to help eliminate more writing jobs.
n
LinkedIn
to me v
Sep 14
Unsubscribe •••
Linked in
Hiring trends for Freelance
Writer roles
74% drop in the United States job market
in the past week, but new jobs are still
available.
View job openings
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Matthew Haughey @mathowie.xoxo.zone.ap.brid.gy · 18/09/2026
A bit early to “THE tree” at thr Portland Japanese Garden, this will probably peak in a couple more weeks.
Japanese Maple starting Fall color
010
Matthew Haughey @mathowie.xoxo.zone.ap.brid.gy · 18/09/2026
The new season of Heavyweight opens with a GNARLY adoption episode. overcast.fm/+ABNzfiwN7vY
overcast.fm
#67 Jenna — Heavyweight — Overcast
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Matthew Haughey @mathowie.xoxo.zone.ap.brid.gy · 18/09/2026
apropos of nothing, but this sheetpan shrimp recipe is so good and you can make it literally from start to finish in about ten minutes. I usually serve the shrimp on rice or pasta and it's always a hit. cooking.nytimes.com/recipes/1015194…
cooking.nytimes.com
Sheet-Pan Shrimp With Tomatoes, Feta and Oregano Recipe • 5★
Ready in 10 minutes, this Mark Bittman recipe from 2013 is a perfect weeknight recipe. It relies heavily on garlic, oregano and black pepper as a coating for the shrimp.
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Matthew Haughey @mathowie.xoxo.zone.ap.brid.gy · 16/09/2026
A few people asked how I made the cutting board last week, so I wrote up the process on another board I made over the last couple days. a.wholelottanothing.org/how-to-make…
a.wholelottanothing.org
How to make end-grain cutting boards
Last week I finished up a cutting board, made as a gift for a friend who just got married. I posted photos on social media and a few people asked how I did it. So here's a high-level view of the process on a new board I made
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Matthew Haughey @mathowie.xoxo.zone.ap.brid.gy · 15/09/2026
Trump released his crypto coin a year ago today. It was valued at $0.2154 at launch. Today's price? $0.05705, so if you put $10,000 in on launch day you'd only have $2,648 left. (also it's still corrupt af that a sitting president got to financially benefit from this scam)
Trump's crypto coin value over the past year
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Matthew Haughey @mathowie.xoxo.zone.ap.brid.gy · 15/09/2026
I'll be in Japan for the first time in my life in less than two weeks, with zero plans other than walking around Tokyo for a week. Reading about the things I need to do before I get there feels like a full time job at this point.
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Matthew Haughey @mathowie.xoxo.zone.ap.brid.gy · 15/09/2026
every news photo of Mitch McConnell out in public this week
Weekend at Bernie’s movie still
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Matthew Haughey @mathowie.xoxo.zone.ap.brid.gy · 14/09/2026
This year whenever a soccer team has a new main jersey sponsor and a) I’ve never heard of the company and b) it’s an ugly font, 100% of the time when I search to find out what the sponsor is, it’s crypto related.
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Matthew Haughey @mathowie.xoxo.zone.ap.brid.gy · 14/09/2026
I get 3-5 spam calls a day with an identical script: “hi we are calling today because we just finished a construction job in your area and are out that way giving free estimates on any home improvement projects you may have”
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Matthew Haughey @mathowie.xoxo.zone.ap.brid.gy · 14/09/2026
Occasionally, I feel a bit old when I hear something that reminds me of a very different time. Today my daughter mentioned a band whose song has a title that is her own name, then I remembered I first heard the band in 1990s snowboarding videos and last downloaded their albums using Napster.
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