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mathewsmith.bsky.social

@mathewsmith.bsky.social
111 followers 197 following 3.2K posts

Comedy botherer. Creepy man on the internet. #ActuallyAutistic. Coolkid. Major Event Volunteer #TeamLondon DO NOT ENCOURAGE

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mathewsmith.bsky.social @mathewsmith.bsky.social · 17h
My mum was banned from them all because she complained about the one at Sutton Scotney so many times. They sent her a letter saying 'we don't believe we will be able to meet the standards you desire' and that she 'should investigate other provide instead'
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Reposted by @mathewsmith.bsky.social
National Trust @nationaltrust.org.uk · 20h
You're never too old to get excited about seeing a really big tree.
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mathewsmith.bsky.social @mathewsmith.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
I find it odd that wood burning through friction smells markedly different to other wood burning methods
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mathewsmith.bsky.social @mathewsmith.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
How is babby formed?
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mathewsmith.bsky.social @mathewsmith.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
These are very err... Nice
Cinnamon spice and all things NICE biscuits from Sainsbury's
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mathewsmith.bsky.social @mathewsmith.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
We're off to have a massive shit
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mathewsmith.bsky.social @mathewsmith.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
When have you ever sat there and thought 'You know what, I could really murder a vol au vent right now'?
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mathewsmith.bsky.social @mathewsmith.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
'..but why would you want to learn it? That's a stupid idea' 'Because you all speak it' 'But we don't *want* to'
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mathewsmith.bsky.social @mathewsmith.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
Watching Taskmaster Netherlands and, even my Nederlands friends agree, Dutch is a *very* silly language
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mathewsmith.bsky.social @mathewsmith.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
I've just taken the Megabus back from a Lake District symposium where small glacial lakes shared their frustrations about over-tourism and... boy are those tarns ired
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mathewsmith.bsky.social @mathewsmith.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
Look Mr advertising exec, cheese pulls don't make anyone erect but you. It's a silly fetish and you should be ashamed. Keep it in the bedroom.
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mathewsmith.bsky.social @mathewsmith.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
I was surprisingly old when I realised a Tarka Daal was not an otter curry
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mathewsmith.bsky.social @mathewsmith.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
Did we ever find out more about the rare African bum disease named 'skill'?
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mathewsmith.bsky.social @mathewsmith.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
I still can't get used to people pronouncing cliques as 'clicks'
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mathewsmith.bsky.social @mathewsmith.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
'... sucked so hard that she ended up with a mouthful of gravel and he ended up discharged pain free the next day'
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mathewsmith.bsky.social @mathewsmith.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
'.. commemorates the location that Dave first tongue punched someone in the fart box'
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mathewsmith.bsky.social @mathewsmith.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
He'll do
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mathewsmith.bsky.social @mathewsmith.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
Cor, you've really captured his raw oozing sex appeal in that snap. Phwoar
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Reposted by @mathewsmith.bsky.social
Keith Collantine @keithcollantine.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
I look forward to discovering the result of today's race from the International Court of Appeal in January. #F1 #BahrainGPinMalaysia #RaceFans
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mathewsmith.bsky.social @mathewsmith.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
Most exciting race of the season and it hasn't even started yet #Formula1
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mathewsmith.bsky.social @mathewsmith.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
Ferrari fucked it #Formula1
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mathewsmith.bsky.social @mathewsmith.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
I continue to be a bloody (or plasma-y) hero
Badge awarded for 50 donation credits for blood and plasma donations in the UK.
A gold badge with the number 50 inside.
Text below - Every donation counts
Give Blood
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mathewsmith.bsky.social @mathewsmith.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
Cook, Serve, Delicious BRAINS
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mathewsmith.bsky.social @mathewsmith.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
Why are all zombie games shooty bang bangs? What about brain farming? Or building a lovely city for them to hunt brains in?
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mathewsmith.bsky.social @mathewsmith.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
How did people keep their toenails trimmed in ye olden dayes?
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mathewsmith.bsky.social @mathewsmith.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
Vagisil and Anusol should put their products in them posh bags like Victoria Secret do
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mathewsmith.bsky.social @mathewsmith.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
Some AI is obviously good, iterative is amazing and genuinely useful. Generative is just a tool for the lazy.
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mathewsmith.bsky.social @mathewsmith.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
The person who manages to add new poster templates to AI will make millions. The current styles are so obvious and samey.
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mathewsmith.bsky.social @mathewsmith.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
You'd think that one of the strengths of AI would be integration and automation but no company seems to want to use it for that
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mathewsmith.bsky.social @mathewsmith.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
During his entire F1 career
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mathewsmith.bsky.social @mathewsmith.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
Whatever happened to the epidemic of kids with dirty backs of ears? 'you could grow potatoes back there' old people used to say
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mathewsmith.bsky.social @mathewsmith.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
And so it begins again
Three boxes of mince pies
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mathewsmith.bsky.social @mathewsmith.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
so that's the bathroom cabinet ruled out
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mathewsmith.bsky.social @mathewsmith.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
A broken vase repaired with duct tape
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mathewsmith.bsky.social @mathewsmith.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
They capture fairies in the woods and then squeeze the juice out of them like someone crushing grapes
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mathewsmith.bsky.social @mathewsmith.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
Did that quiz thing, not upset 12axes.vercel.app
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mathewsmith.bsky.social @mathewsmith.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
I am agreeable with my result too
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mathewsmith.bsky.social @mathewsmith.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
Petition to rename all 'secret flavour' crisps to 'chemical disappointment'
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Reposted by @mathewsmith.bsky.social
Draculosity Jones: Ghost Skeleton @brainmage.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
Hey guys! I'm Burke, he's Hare, and before we get into today's unboxing video, we just wanna talk a little about today's sponsor, Surfshark
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mathewsmith.bsky.social @mathewsmith.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
Appears that my final form is 'me but with a headache'
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𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜 @unfitz.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
Don’t say I never gave you anything. *gives you the ick*
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mathewsmith.bsky.social @mathewsmith.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
Flu jab in one arm, COVID in the other. Soon to evolve into my final form
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mathewsmith.bsky.social @mathewsmith.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
The all got devolved to the Parish Councils
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mathewsmith.bsky.social @mathewsmith.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
Now I'm never going to see an Esther Vs Cilla bitch fight
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mathewsmith.bsky.social @mathewsmith.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
Alright mister posh with your two door home
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mathewsmith.bsky.social @mathewsmith.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
They've left themselves with quite a tricky putt there
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mathewsmith.bsky.social @mathewsmith.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
Re: Flydubai pilot stabbing etc. Passengers/crew/standby pilots broke into the cockpit to help - I thought that shouldn't be possible these days??
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Reposted by @mathewsmith.bsky.social
David Simpkin @simplerdave.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
Cruel, but funny, and well worth 1 minute 44 seconds of your time. (Sound up recommended for the full effect)
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mathewsmith.bsky.social @mathewsmith.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Can someone please go to Sheffield and put 50p in the meter?
A screenshot of https://www.northernpowergrid.com/power-cuts-map showing a huge power outage in Sheffield
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mathewsmith.bsky.social @mathewsmith.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Yes yes hospitals etc but.. SAVE THE ALPACAS! They're scared of the dark
A screenshot from https://www.northernpowergrid.com/power-cuts-map of the current power outages in Sheffield.
There are over a 1000 and the map cannot show them all.
At the bottom left is an alpaca farm
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