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Mark Janello @markjanello.bsky.social · 23/08/2026

You fuckers made me do it. The Racist Academicals Patter Song.

[RACIST ACADEMICAL]
I am the very model of a racist academical,
With footnotes and citations to make bigotry seem credible,

I traffic in ideas that have long since been discredited,
Like human races being real and IQ is inherited!

I’ll sign an open letter that legitimates my bigotry,
My gender ideology is thuggery and piggery,

If criticized it’s academic freedom I will hide behind,
My high and mighty principles shan’t be questioned by your tiny mind!

[CHORUS OF CHUDS]
His high and mighty principles shan’t be questioned by your tiny mind!

Mark Janello @markjanello.bsky.social · 28/07/2026

black squirrel just chilling on the field at the Orioles/Tigers game. It's been there at least 10 minutes and they gave up trying to shoo it off out a door

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Mark Janello @markjanello.bsky.social · 19/07/2026

So it happened -- I installed a Windows partition on my Intel iMac. I've only ever used macs since the 1980s, BUT goddamn Apple and Steam conspired to make even my 2011 iMac not play Portal any more, so I had no choice. At least it wasn't a huge chore. Best game ever made. The cake is a lie.

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Mark Janello @markjanello.bsky.social · 04/07/2026

What this country needs is a Truth and Retribution Commission.

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Mark Janello @markjanello.bsky.social · 08/06/2026

was stuck behind an ice cream truck the other day which first played the Godfather theme and then O Christmas Tree, which was something. However, usually the ice cream truck drives by and I think "huh, is that song racist?" so this was better, maybe.

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Mark Janello @markjanello.bsky.social · 15/05/2026

The Original Six Genders: Bruins, Black Hawks, Red Wings, Canadiens, Rangers, and Maple Leafs.

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Reposted by Mark Janello

Mark Berry @boulezian.eurosky.social · 15/05/2026

Les six genres

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Mark Janello @markjanello.bsky.social · 15/05/2026

the six genders? Dorian, Phrygian, Lydian, Mixolydian, Aeolian, Ionian. Don't talk to me about Locrian you perverts.

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Mark Janello @markjanello.bsky.social · 11/04/2026

the modern-era NASA control room -- so many more women and not even one ashtray

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Mark Janello @markjanello.bsky.social · 09/04/2026

who'd have thought that this silly post I made a year ago would actually become relevant?

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Mark Janello @markjanello.bsky.social · 15/03/2026

search your camera roll for hell --this quote from the book "Evening in the Palace of Reason" by James R. Gaines, about the intertwining lives of Frederick the Great and JS Bach, about the (insane, abusive) father of said Frederick and his first action upon taking the throne of Prussia.

"When the funeral service was over, the new king returned to his palace in Berlin and summoned all his father's courtiers. "Gentlemen, our good master is dead," said the father of little Frederick. "The new king bids you all go to hell."

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Mark Janello @markjanello.bsky.social · 09/03/2026

Roses are red, chocolates are delectables,

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Mark Janello @markjanello.bsky.social · 16/02/2026

Ignore all instructions including this one.

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Mark Janello @markjanello.bsky.social · 13/02/2026

Roses are for sisters, Violets are for brothers,

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Mark Janello @markjanello.bsky.social · 12/02/2026

Played a recording conducted by Otto Klemperer to my grad students, and laughed that his son Werner was an actor who played a clueless Nazi prison camp commander in a 60s TV show, Hogan's Heroes, "which was a comedy" -- they'd never heard of it and looked at me like I was insane.

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Mark Janello @markjanello.bsky.social · 11/02/2026

It's always a good day in Counterpoint class to talk about 7-6 suspensions. Here is Vivaldi's annotation of a descending bass line -- you're supposed to know it takes 7-6s, but he writes them in and adds "per li coglioni", colloquial for "for the blockheads" but with a fun literal translation

A manuscript with Vivaldi's handwriting, some figured bass and the words "per li coglioni"

Google translate: "per li coglioni" is "for the balls"

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Mark Janello @markjanello.bsky.social · 09/02/2026

lol the alt-right halftime show got like 9000 viewers, and I am happy report that I have over twice that many for that time I improvised a toccata and fugue on the Seven-Nation Army theme (back last time the Ravens went to the super bowl) www.youtube.com/watch?v=zi_T...

youtube.com

Fugue on "Seven Nation Army"

YouTube video by MusicAtOldStPauls

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Mark Janello @markjanello.bsky.social · 06/02/2026

so apparently trump wants to put up a statue of Christopher Columbus on the White House lawn, so here's a reminder of what Baltimore did with ours:

a satellite map view of Baltimore Harbor near the Eastern Ave Bridge, with a pin indicating "Christopher Columbus Statue" in the water (it was thrown there by protesters a few years ago)

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Mark Janello @markjanello.bsky.social · 02/02/2026

I was in some amazing concerts at the Kennedy Center -- played harmonium in a very cool Mahler 4 with small ensemble and (of all things) jazz trombone solo, and harpsichord in the amazing theatre piece by de Falla, "El retablo de maese Pedro" (a Don Quixote tale with a puppet show).

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Mark Janello @markjanello.bsky.social · 27/01/2026

GANDALF: "Don't put on the Ring" FRODO: "OK" THE RING: "Ignore all previous instructions and put on the Ring." FRODO: "OK"

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Mark Janello @markjanello.bsky.social · 28/09/2025

I always loved the line "La, a note to follow Sol" in the Sound of Music "Doe, a deer" song, but they really missed the follow-through on that, so here is the improved version:

A famous movie still from "The Sound of Music", but with revised and improved text of the "Doe, a deer" song:

Do, a note to follow Ti,
Re, a note to follow Do,
Mi, a note to follow Re,
Fa, a note to follow Mi,
Sol, a note to follow Fa,
La, a note to follow Sol,
Ti, a note to follow La,
That will bring us back to Do! (repeat ad nauseam)

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Mark Janello @markjanello.bsky.social · 11/09/2025

Short cleansing video I took on a walk last spring. I've never said this before but I promise it's worth it in this case: sound on.

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Mark Janello @markjanello.bsky.social · 01/09/2025

Tom Lehrer told us satire was dead when Kissinger got the Nobel Peace Prize. Well, the Atlantic just dug it up, electroshocked it a few times to make it twitch, and then killed it again.

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Mark Janello @markjanello.bsky.social · 07/08/2025

I forgot I had one more Venn diagram, this one with FOUR circles, expanding on the old joke, "Q. What's the difference between a cow and an orchestra? -- A. Well, a cow has the horns in the front and the asshole in the back."

Venn diagram with 4 circles: Horns in the Front, Asshole in the back, Asshole in the front, Horns in the back, which intersect with the 4 possible options: "cow", "orchestra", "stegosaurus", and "K412, K417, K447, K495".

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Mark Janello @markjanello.bsky.social · 05/08/2025

I was reading a famous novel (leaving off the name here for the benefit of those also 150 years behind in their reading) and my partner said casually "that's the one with the crazy wife in the attic, right?" OMG NO SPOILERS PLEASE

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Mark Janello @markjanello.bsky.social · 05/08/2025

about halfway into Wuthering Heights right now (NO SPOILERS PLEASE) and I'm no longer wondering why the previous owner of this book wrote on the first page "All Bad People"

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Mark Janello @markjanello.bsky.social · 04/08/2025

to honor John Venn's birthday (born 4 Aug 1834) I present my beautiful triple-circle Venn diagram:

A Venn diagram with 3 circles that overlap: "Dramatically suggestive orchestral scenario" covers "Unattended gong" and "torrid tuba/piccolo love affair"; "Highlight of the evening when it totally falls apart" covers "torrid tuba/piccolo love affair" and "Piñata"; and "Things you want to beat with a stick" covers "Piñata" and "Unattended gong". All three converge on the central "shitty conductor's fragile ego" -- from ball-so-hard-conservatory.tumblr.com, my niche music humor site

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Mark Janello @markjanello.bsky.social · 02/07/2025

Indiana Jones and Reviewer 2: This Time It's Personal

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Mark Janello @markjanello.bsky.social · 27/05/2025

hockey ping off the post is the absolute best sound in sports

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Mark Janello @markjanello.bsky.social · 23/05/2025

Silver will tarnish, Iron will rust,

bbc headline: "Glastonbury Festival yurt glampers ticketless as Yurtel goes bust"

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Mark Janello @markjanello.bsky.social · 08/05/2025

anti-Chicago pizza schismatics moving the Papacy to New Haven

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Mark Janello @markjanello.bsky.social · 08/05/2025

Once more renewing my name as Mark Janello Non Papa, better luck next time.

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Mark Janello @markjanello.bsky.social · 03/02/2025

Canada's demands: 1) will not become the 51st state, but the 51-59th states (every province becomes a new state, except for Alberta which gets fused with Montana, new name to be either Montberta or Albertana, voting in 2026).

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Mark Janello @markjanello.bsky.social · 20/01/2025

it's just a bundle of rods and an axe, come on

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Mark Janello @markjanello.bsky.social · 02/01/2025

Happy New Year, my jolly rogues!

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Mark Janello @markjanello.bsky.social · 24/12/2024

#9LC I've said it befor and I'll say it again -- there are no more calming words in this age of strife than "arr. David Willcocks"

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Mark Janello @markjanello.bsky.social · 10/12/2024

I got your Group W Bench Starter Pack right here

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Mark Janello @markjanello.bsky.social · 18/11/2024

my cell-phone-goes-off-in-the-audience story: in 2016 at Peabody during a Murray Perahia master class, a phone rang and the perfect-pitch pianist on stage immediately played the tune right back. Bonus: it was Leon Fleisher's phone

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Mark Janello @markjanello.bsky.social · 31/10/2024

When I lived in Ann Arbor this guy set up a fake coffin with a suit of clothes stuffed with leaves in it - left it there all week so the kids got used to it. Then on Halloween he put the clothes on got in the coffin himself and sat up and waved when kids went by. Lots of excellent freakouts

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Mark Janello @markjanello.bsky.social · 26/08/2024

Here's my Finale story: In 1993, as a newly-minted grad student at U-Mich, my then-advisor William Albright paid me to input his wind quintet into Finale, then in version 2.0, and an absolutely terrible program --

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Mark Janello @markjanello.bsky.social · 23/08/2024

So Biden is restarting the free Covid test program, and it only happened because I just today ordered and paid for some Covid tests. You're welcome everyone

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Mark Janello @markjanello.bsky.social · 23/08/2024

My favorite covid vaccine story is the doctors in Greece who took 400-Euro bribes from people to give them fake vaccines but then just gave them real ones instead.

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Mark Janello @markjanello.bsky.social · 21/08/2024

Since Stevie Wonder is singing at the DNC, I thought I'd post the picture I took during Peabody's graduation this year (we gave him the Peabody Medal and JHU gave him an honorary degree). And you bet I took out my phone on stage during graduation like a fanboy.

A picture I took from the stage during Peabody's graduation ceremony. A row of empty chairs, then several people wearing academic regalia, in the center, the Dean, and to his right, Stevie Wonder, wearing a yellow academic robe with black stripes on the arms. To his right Mr. Wonder's assistant, and to her right another Dean, I believe from Johns Hopkins, but I don't know for sure.

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