Mark Agee @markagee.bsky.social · 2hUnironically, I'd rather get politics advice from Jeff Teague 010
Mark Agee @markagee.bsky.social · 24/09/2026Nothing. I'm a Mavs fan who thinks the team should do whatever Kyrie wants within reason considering how the last few years have gone, but the Heat can't even match salaries, much less throw in a couple picks 030
Mark Agee @markagee.bsky.social · 22/09/2026I feel like people would trust A.I. more if tech could invent a vegan cheese that didn’t taste like ‘chewy wet’ 1152
Mark Agee @markagee.bsky.social · 17/09/2026No I wrote NPR because it’s a parallel example with a heightened reality because that’s how joke constructions work sometimes 120
Mark Agee @markagee.bsky.social · 16/09/2026"NPR sat down with this solar calculator and asked it to explain this poem about God" 9899150
Mark Agee @markagee.bsky.social · 15/09/2026Maybe the dog forced himself on the agent, who's to say 000
Mark Agee @markagee.bsky.social · 15/09/2026FBI Applicant Polygraph Administrator: "This is very important. Who came first, you or the emu? 311110
Mark Agee @markagee.bsky.social · 11/09/2026The Rams sleep science jet lag plan was so funny. The sample size was negative-one so it was never gonna prove anything except that Californians obey wearable electronics 0103
Mark Agee @markagee.bsky.social · 09/09/2026This did ityoutu.beSix Feet From Heaven | Ai Country Metal SongYouTube video by Ai TuneStar 020
Mark Agee @markagee.bsky.social · 09/09/2026Does anyone know the mechanism by which AI is supposed to kill us all? Launching the nukes? Designing a disease? An agent mass emails our nudes until we kill ourselves? 4100
Mark Agee @markagee.bsky.social · 07/09/2026This stuff is gonna turn me into a social conservative. Why can't we have "legal gambling, but a normal amount," and not "24/7 and on The Little League World Series"? 000
Mark Agee @markagee.bsky.social · 05/09/2026We have to send Magic to jail for a short stint for his insurance fraud shit just to stop LeBron from becoming the future CEO of Weyland-Yutani 120
Mark Agee @markagee.bsky.social · 04/09/2026Wait one of the cut-out companies paying Kawhi for fake endorsements was Boingo?!! The wifi provider that charges $14 a minute when you’re trapped in a cave? “Hi I’m Kawhi Leonard and when I fall down I mineshaft I use Boingo to check my Microsoft Outlook” 0110
Mark Agee @markagee.bsky.social · 02/09/2026"Hello and welcome to the Pick-and-Tootsie Roll Pod, hosted by apparently the OJ jury, here to tell you how that piss on your head is just rain. Brought to you by Billionaire Dick-Riding and DraftKings, but I repeat myself" 0110
Mark Agee @markagee.bsky.social · 02/09/2026I feel bad for Clippers fans, but please also save a prayer for the huge wing of the NBA podcast sphere who created new levels of epistemology to find cracks for Ballmer to escape through. Thinking specifically of a guy who said even a smoking gun wasn't evidence bc you didn't see the shot fired 2120
Mark Agee @markagee.bsky.social · 02/09/2026“Furious” is one of the best shows I’ve seen in a while. Thriller, funny, heartbreaking. 100/10 1150
Mark Agee @markagee.bsky.social · 22/08/2026🎵It’s getting hot in caarrr, So leave your dog in theerrre🎵 090
Mark Agee @markagee.bsky.social · 20/08/2026I love the pro-AI civilians kicking around ideas to make the public more pro-data centers. My passion in life is also rooting for sociopathic strangers' investments to pay off. Next let's do my second cousin's garage full of Herbalife 1200
Mark Agee @markagee.bsky.social · 20/08/2026Yeah when he's backing his chair into Yang in the elevator that's just two funny people fucking around 020
Mark Agee @markagee.bsky.social · 20/08/2026Alden's comedic chemistry with Rob Yang's FBI agent character is A+++ 140
Mark Agee @markagee.bsky.social · 19/08/2026Hm can't decide between Joseph Gobbles or Herman Görging or Ate-off Titler 240
Mark Agee @markagee.bsky.social · 19/08/2026How dare you impugn the honor of the lady who changes the president's diaper by insinuating that she would do something gross like have sex with him, when she is but an innocent young girl of only nearly 40 4240
Mark Agee @markagee.bsky.social · 19/08/2026Silicon Valley keeps turning out products whose non-sociopathic use cases are like 20th on the list of possibilities. "We've launched a child-sized combo flame thrower and dildo gun. It's for reading" 1204
Mark Agee @markagee.bsky.social · 18/08/2026Jon Ossoff casually mentions Natalie Harp's first name in a throwaway line, and a thousand purported defenders screech "HOW DARE YOU CALL THIS INNOCENT YOUNG TEEN A WHORE" and she's 35? With friends like these who needs internet bullies 0231
Mark Agee @markagee.bsky.social · 14/08/2026So much fake ink and, in the end, real blood has been spilled over whether Woke 1.0 was annoying, when it obviously was, while also being directionally correct. It's the perfect pundit topic because it's a jerk-off about messaging and personal beefs. Anyway, the world is on fire, that's on page B-8 081
Mark Agee @markagee.bsky.social · 12/08/2026Yakov Smirnoff voice: In Soviet Union, speed date take seven hours. One beet to share. No silverware, each must bite one end while her mother chaperone 160
Mark Agee @markagee.bsky.social · 12/08/2026Unfortunately comrade the commune only has one AWOOGA horn and the sign-up sheet is now full until next year 070
Mark Agee @markagee.bsky.social · 12/08/2026I know the "Jefferson Davis wore his wife's dress to try to escape" thing is fake, but it's still far more dignified than "the president hid under frozen lasagnas to use his own employees as unwitting human shields" 3253
Mark Agee @markagee.bsky.social · 12/08/2026I look forward to the rash of federal agents on disability for a mysterious new condition known as 'Toaster Dick' It's Havana Syndrome for guys who leave their gloves on when they piss because they don't wash your hands 0170
Mark Agee @markagee.bsky.social · 06/08/2026The backlash to the data center backlash is pretty funny. Oh is it somewhat based on misinformation? How is that misinformation being spread? It's being boosted by an rage-bait algorithm built to amplify misery you say? I wonder if it's operated out of some sort of facility we could shut down 1245
Mark Agee @markagee.bsky.social · 21/07/2026Extremism is way up/down and your parents had it worse/better (sort based on argument) 020
Mark Agee @markagee.bsky.social · 11/07/2026I’m not surprised at all. How stupid do you think I am 1201
Mark Agee @markagee.bsky.social · 08/07/2026Mitch McConnell just sucked my dick. I sure hope he was alive 6584
Mark Agee @markagee.bsky.social · 04/07/2026If I was in the CIA I’d pitch an Iran false flag just to blow this up 1140
Mark Agee @markagee.bsky.social · 04/07/2026Tough scenes for Argentina. Gotta feel bad for Rodrigo Goebbels and Javier Himmler Goering 37419
Mark Agee @markagee.bsky.social · 04/07/2026Cabo fuckin Verde has lived a dozen sports movies the past month 1693
Mark Agee @markagee.bsky.social · 03/07/2026Whoever stops me from unloading this garage full of Herbalife bullshit is a Chinese Communist 0121
Mark Agee @markagee.bsky.social · 02/07/2026I really don’t understand what sports teams think they are anymore. The Celts won 56 games this season and Brown got MVP votes. He’s homegrown and fans love him and they traded him for a microwave burrito 1110
Mark Agee @markagee.bsky.social · 01/07/2026Adam Silver has made the new CBA into a combo of Calvinball and credit default swaps mashed up with a dizzy bat race 2161
Mark Agee @markagee.bsky.social · 27/06/2026Surely someone in charge realizes this is to some degree a branding thing. Saying you're DSA is a way to say "I'm not a mainline Democrat, who everyone hates, I'm a cool Democrat." Centrists run against the party too, usually by shooting a climate bill with an assault rifle. Just pretend it's that 2181
Mark Agee @markagee.bsky.social · 21/06/2026Happy Fathers Day to everyone who decided to surprise dad with an early breakfast in bed, and consequently discovered that mom likes a little pre-church reverse cowgirl 1151
Mark Agee @markagee.bsky.social · 21/06/2026Collect your recliner and gift set of various roasted nuts 110
Mark Agee @markagee.bsky.social · 20/06/2026You try to remember that a lot of people who go to work for the CIA just have a facility with languages and want to spend a few years overseas. Then there are the Elissa Slotkin types who would gladly self-MK Ultra for the chance to kill Castro with a zipgun disguised as a pool noodle 1130
Mark Agee @markagee.bsky.social · 18/06/2026This is discrimination against Upskirt Video Americans 010
Mark Agee @markagee.bsky.social · 17/06/2026I never thought I'd die fighting alongside a guy who thinks 5G is a Chinese plot to weaken his jizz 1142
