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Marissa Maciel

@marissamaciel.bsky.social
4K followers 216 following 473 posts

Writer and Illustrator from your favorite websites (New Yorker Daily Shouts, McSweeney’s, Belladonna, rip The Toast & The Hairpin) Basically being rad.

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Reposted by Marissa Maciel
Marissa Maciel @marissamaciel.bsky.social · 13h
Thanks to this thread we now have a new meme - “The CITY? The Elf”
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Marissa Maciel @marissamaciel.bsky.social · 13h
Thanks to this thread we now have a new meme - “The CITY? The Elf”
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Reposted by Marissa Maciel
Marissa Maciel @marissamaciel.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
If you’ve never heard your therapist say “I love you,” here’s your chance: outofnetworknetwork.substack.com/p/i-love-you...
outofnetworknetwork.substack.com
I love you, therapist
Written by Candice Hall / Illustrated by Marissa Maciel
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Marissa Maciel @marissamaciel.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
No knees and no spine, got it.
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Reposted by Marissa Maciel
Lex McMenamin (they/them) @lexmcmenamin.com · 05/10/2026
it is interesting that I can't find any mainstream media coverage of Altman's sister Annie going viral on social media over the weekend for uploading footage of the first hour of her deposition in her lawsuit against him (one of two) in which she is alleging years of CSA
theguardian.com
Accept ‘bad things’ in return for benefits of AI, says Sam Altman
Boss of OpenAI calls for a regulatory light touch because of the ‘good stuff’ the technology can deliver
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Annie Altman @anniealtman108.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
First Hour of My Deposition - Ann Altman v Sam Altman 4:25-cv-00017-ZMB youtu.be/akjrfwYPvy8?...
youtu.be
First Hour of My Deposition - Ann Altman v Sam Altman 4:25-cv-00017-ZMB
YouTube video by Annie Altman
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Marissa Maciel @marissamaciel.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
WHAT DO YOU MEAN - a high schooler made this film?!? Also I’m gonna start walking like this when weird guys try to talk to me… youtu.be/ryLzhmukkC4
youtu.be
STARE - A Horror Film
YouTube video by clark the shark
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Marissa Maciel @marissamaciel.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
WHAT DO YOU MEAN - a high schooler made this film?!? Also I’m gonna start walking like this when weird guys try to talk to me… youtu.be/ryLzhmukkC4
youtu.be
STARE - A Horror Film
YouTube video by clark the shark
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Marissa Maciel @marissamaciel.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
If you’ve never heard your therapist say “I love you,” here’s your chance: outofnetworknetwork.substack.com/p/i-love-you...
outofnetworknetwork.substack.com
I love you, therapist
Written by Candice Hall / Illustrated by Marissa Maciel
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Reposted by Marissa Maciel
The Onion @theonion.com · 01/10/2026
Dude Wipes Introduces New Flushable Khakis theonion.com/dude-wipes-introduces-…
Dude Wipes Introduces New Flushable Khakis
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Marissa Maciel @marissamaciel.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
Tag yourself:
Photo of owl cookies with different eyes
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Marissa Maciel @marissamaciel.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
“THIS…IS…SPINAL TAP!” “Can you guys just stop saying that every time we do a lumbar puncture.” “Nope! ((Air guitar))”
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Marissa Maciel @marissamaciel.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
“THIS…IS…SPINAL TAP!” “Can you guys just stop saying that every time we do a lumbar puncture.” “Nope! ((Air guitar))”
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Marissa Maciel @marissamaciel.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
Pretty quick time for me, for swimming 2k. Felt sluggish at times which is interesting, and ai suppose how progress sometimes feels. There’s an essay topic for you…
Image of a bouquet of flowers and overlaid text showing 2000 meters swam, 80 pool laps, and done in 52:03 minutes.
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Reposted by Marissa Maciel
The Onion @theonion.com · 25/09/2026
“I remember seeing him on TV and thinking, ‘No, that can’t be Kash,’ but sure enough, there he was, addressing the nation about a missing person case.” — Daisy, local golden retriever
theonion.com
Dog Can’t Believe Guy She Hooked Up With 10 Years Ago Now Head Of FBI
WASHINGTON—Reflecting on the past fling and remarking how time had flown by, local golden retriever Daisy told reporters Thursday that she could not believe the guy she hooked up with 10 years ago was...
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Marissa Maciel @marissamaciel.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
Just had the most American thought I’ve ever had. It was how we could weaponize the scent of maple syrup. Chat, im cooked.
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Marissa Maciel @marissamaciel.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
End of Virgo season?!? Well better share this then… Booby Traps Specifically For Virgos Each one perfectly designed — just as a Virgo would want them to be. @belladonnacomedy.bsky.social medium.com/thebelladonn...
medium.com
Booby Traps Specifically For Virgos
Each one perfectly designed — just as a Virgo would want them to be.
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Marissa Maciel @marissamaciel.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
End of Virgo season?!? Well better share this then… Booby Traps Specifically For Virgos Each one perfectly designed — just as a Virgo would want them to be. @belladonnacomedy.bsky.social medium.com/thebelladonn...
medium.com
Booby Traps Specifically For Virgos
Each one perfectly designed — just as a Virgo would want them to be.
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Marissa Maciel @marissamaciel.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
Someone get a hose and a hazmat team over to Boebert’s office…
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Marissa Maciel @marissamaciel.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
I need to cut back on binging episodes of The Gentlemen maaaaayyybe
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Marissa Maciel @marissamaciel.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
Sorry babes but if I were British I’d do everyfing possible, yeah? to speak like a scouse, ya know what I mean, yeah? Cause low-key theys got the best accent I’ve evah heard and it’s proper English and all innit.
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Reposted by Marissa Maciel
The Onion @theonion.com · 20/09/2026
Dunkin’ Donuts Signs 10-Year Partnership To Be Exclusive Food Vendor Of United States theonion.com/dunkin-donuts-signs-10…
Dunkin’ Donuts Signs 10-Year Partnership To Be Exclusive Food Vendor Of United States
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Marissa Maciel @marissamaciel.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
Huge flex amazing!!!
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Marissa Maciel @marissamaciel.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
Can I just go live in Disneyland now? Can we declare theme parks exempt from things like boats on international waters?
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Marissa Maciel @marissamaciel.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
“The Senator’s brain stem is doing just fine, it’s very long and currently very hydrated.”
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Marissa Maciel @marissamaciel.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
Bruh do it let’s ride this train straight into hell.
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Marissa Maciel @marissamaciel.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
“The Senator’s brain stem is doing just fine, it’s very long and currently very hydrated.”
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Marissa Maciel @marissamaciel.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
Bruh do it let’s ride this train straight into hell.
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Marissa Maciel @marissamaciel.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
Rolled a D-20 on rectums and vaginas hell yeah
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Marissa Maciel @marissamaciel.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
Rolled a D-20 on rectums and vaginas hell yeah
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Marissa Maciel @marissamaciel.bsky.social · 14/09/2026
Vaginas be everywhere nowadays
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Marissa Maciel @marissamaciel.bsky.social · 14/09/2026
Haha omg I’m so not looped in. The whole “women in sports” trend happening showing regular women being phenomenal? I was like, “That’s great! Wow, people are finally celebrating these athlete!” Nah babe, they’re responding to the boob-forward ad of an attention-seeking actress. Gotcha!
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Reposted by Marissa Maciel
Luke Burns @lukevburns.bsky.social · 13/09/2026
On Sunday, Sept 20th @jamesfolta.com and I are hosting the launch party for OBEY IN ADVANCE, a new book of satire by @ginnyhogan.bsky.social & @shadesofgreaves.bsky.social published by @mcsweeneys.net! 🎟️: www.eventbrite.com/e/obey-in-ad...
Flyer for a book launch party all in red with black and white text. The cover of the book "Obey in Advance" is on the bottom right.

Text reads: 
OBEY IN ADVANCE BOOK LAUNCH PARTY

SEPTEMBER 20, 2026 2:30 P.M. ET 
at CAVEAT NYC 21 A Clinton St. New York, NY 

HOSTED BY JAMES FOLTA and LUKE BURNS of A NEWSLETTER OF HUMOROUS WRITING 

FEATURING CHANDLER DEAN, FELIPE TORRES MEDINA, TAYLOR KAY PHILLIPS, and JOSH GONDELMAN
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Marissa Maciel @marissamaciel.bsky.social · 14/09/2026
Day one of living in California: the ants are not only ever-present, but they are demanding. I’ve never met such high-need ants before. I fear for my provisions.
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Marissa Maciel @marissamaciel.bsky.social · 13/09/2026
Thanks to Trump’s deal to take castoffs from other countries I made a jingle to remind me not to buy beef: If you wanna stay alive, don’t eat cow If you need to keep your life, don’t eat cow If you want to save a buck, but you’re faced with deadly chuck Don’t eat cow don’t eat cow don’t eat cow
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Marissa Maciel @marissamaciel.bsky.social · 13/09/2026
So is this more project 2025 baloney or is this pure Miller Time cruelty?
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Marissa Maciel @marissamaciel.bsky.social · 08/09/2026
To make an allegory: swimming well is like trying to do your very best golf swing while jogging and under water. The mechanics are unlike anything I’ve tried before. I love this! I’m down bad for swimming!!!
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Marissa Maciel @marissamaciel.bsky.social · 10/09/2026
Going to a Walmart Supercenter is like being in a very depressing airport, going nowhere. Ugh.
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Siri Dahl @siridahl.com · 08/09/2026
Get ready with me 🤗
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Marissa Maciel @marissamaciel.bsky.social · 08/09/2026
As someone who has devoted themselves to swimming laps for the last almost three years, I feel confident in saying this: Holy fuck, it is so complicated you guys.
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Marissa Maciel @marissamaciel.bsky.social · 08/09/2026
As someone who has devoted themselves to swimming laps for the last almost three years, I feel confident in saying this: Holy fuck, it is so complicated you guys.
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Marissa Maciel @marissamaciel.bsky.social · 08/09/2026
You think AI is powerful now? Imagine being in 1982 and having a computer wizard who can tell you’re confused based on questions you ask it?
Image from the cover art of Zork 1
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Marissa Maciel @marissamaciel.bsky.social · 07/09/2026
My kids are up late trying to get down the bass and harmony of The Cure’s “Just Like Heaven,” and it’s 11:30-ish on a Sunday night. I’m so glad Monday is a holiday so I don’t have to interrupt this 🥺🫰
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Marissa Maciel @marissamaciel.bsky.social · 05/09/2026
Uh oh it’s Tuff Boy
Mud flaps with the word Tuff Boy and a little character showing a dude with crossed arms and a face with a T
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Marissa Maciel @marissamaciel.bsky.social · 05/09/2026
Uh oh it’s Tuff Boy
Mud flaps with the word Tuff Boy and a little character showing a dude with crossed arms and a face with a T
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Marissa Maciel @marissamaciel.bsky.social · 03/09/2026
If you get to be mock-mad at your partner then you’ve tapped into a higher-tier of partnership. Highly recommend exploring that.
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Reposted by Marissa Maciel
Joshua Foust 🪖🎮 @joshuafoust.com · 02/09/2026
Do it. It may not mean all that much but we can at least annoy them a lot.
eport an Issue
Name is wrong
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Location on map is wrong
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REQUIRED: NAME OF PLACE
Lake Ontario
Add Photo Your voluntary acquiescence to the fascist regime arbitrarily changing names it does not control to pursue the personal grievances of an unpopular president is embarrassing and you
should feel bad Add any information that can help us when we review your report. Don't include personal
information in your comments or photos. Reports related to your Home, Work, and School and certain reports related to Look Around and photos in Maps are associated with your Apple Account or email address,
which will be shown on the screen before you submit your report. Your data will be used to
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Reposted by Marissa Maciel
The Onion @theonion.com · 02/09/2026
Laptop Gets To Age When It Can Be Lightly Tossed Sometimes theonion.com/laptop-gets-to-age-whe…
Laptop Gets To Age When It Can Be Lightly Tossed Sometimes
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Reposted by Marissa Maciel
Marissa Maciel @marissamaciel.bsky.social · 31/08/2026
Love these wealth tax ads saying taxes were raised, “with little to show for it,” on my tv which runs on electricity, in my house where I have running water that I can drink, and in the town where everyone’s kids can get an education — paid for by, uh, well-intentioned billionaires I guess???
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Marissa Maciel @marissamaciel.bsky.social · 31/08/2026
Love these wealth tax ads saying taxes were raised, “with little to show for it,” on my tv which runs on electricity, in my house where I have running water that I can drink, and in the town where everyone’s kids can get an education — paid for by, uh, well-intentioned billionaires I guess???
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