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Larry Stephens @lsggbg.bsky.social · 13h

NED: Mr Eccles, I must warn you that this a case of Ipso Facto Coro in Carborundum Patria et Figlio. ECCLES: Oh... What do all them words mean? NED: I don't know but they make me sound intelligent. (Goon Show S4 E1, 2 Oct 1953. Script by Spike Milligan & Larry Stephens.)

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Larry Stephens @lsggbg.bsky.social · 22/09/2026

PROFESSOR SPON: As you're leaving college, I've recommended you for a post with the British Museum. NEDDIE: But, well, could... could I do the job? SPON: Do it? It's right up your street! NEDDIE: That'll save bus fares. (Vintage Goons, 22 Sep 1958. Original script by Spike Milligan & Larry Stephens)

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Larry Stephens @lsggbg.bsky.social · 20/09/2026

AIRPORT CONTROL: Hallo, Captain Pureheart. Control calling. Please report your exact position. PUREHEART: I'm on my side with my knees drawn up. CONTROL: Why? PUREHEART: I'm at home in bed. (Crazy People S1 E17, 20 Sep 1951. Script by Spike Milligan, Larry Stephens & Jimmy Grafton.)

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Larry Stephens @lsggbg.bsky.social · 13/09/2026

MILLIGAN: I cut my finger opening a tin of beans. SELLERS: You must use a tin opener in future. (Crazy People S1 E16, 13 Sep 1951. Script by Spike Milligan, Larry Stephens & Jimmy Grafton.)

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Larry Stephens @lsggbg.bsky.social · 06/09/2026

ECCLES: Hullooo there! Look at me! NED: I say, Eccles - 1st class! How did you get ashore? E: I walked across this log! N: You fool! That's an alligator! E: Oooo. I wondered why my leg kept getting shorter! (Crazy People S1 E15, 6 Sep 1951. Script by Spike Milligan, Larry Stephens & Jimmy Grafton.)

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Reposted by Larry Stephens

Goon Pod @goonpod.bsky.social · 02/09/2026

THE SEAGOON MEMOIRS pod.link/1569929507 The last Goon Show script Larry Stephens ever worked on (he co-wrote it with Maurice Wiltshire) this edition sometimes sounds like fan-fic but there are a number of highlights (& some none-too-subtle innuendo). Andy Bell returns to try & make sense of it all

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Larry Stephens @lsggbg.bsky.social · 30/08/2026

WAITRESS: Are you from HQ? JONES: Yes W: Identify yourself J: Z076B W: Right. What do you want? J: Is it safe to talk here? W: Yes. What do you want? J: Are you sure? W: Quite sure J: Right. Beans on toast. (Crazy People S1 E14, 30 Aug 1951. Script by Spike Milligan, Larry Stephens & Jimmy Grafton.)

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Larry Stephens @lsggbg.bsky.social · 23/08/2026

NOSDROVIAN: Are you Dr Jones, the eminent brain specialist? JONES: Yes - but business is bad in England. NOSDROVIAN: No work? JONES: No brains. (Crazy People S1 E13, 23 Aug 1951. Script by Spike Milligan, Larry Stephens & Jimmy Grafton.)

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Reposted by Larry Stephens

The Goon Show Preservation Society @thegsps.bsky.social · 21/08/2026

Hello folks! Calling folks! We're celebrating 75 years of The Goon Show with two classic radio scripts LIVE on stage in York. All profits are going to @age-uk.bsky.social Tickets are on sale now. For further information see: goonshow.org/2026/08/21/g...

The Goon Show Preservation Society and Borthwick Institute for Archives present a Birmingham Comedy Festival production of The Goon Show. Celebrating 75 years of The Goon Show with two classic radio scripts LIVE on stage + Q&A and a look at the Institute’s comedy archive. Saturday 17th October 2026, 2pm. Scenic Stage Theatre, University of York (Campus East), Baird Lane, Heslington, York YO10 5GD.

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Larry Stephens @lsggbg.bsky.social · 16/08/2026

PORRIDGE: How long have we been marching? SPALDING: Six hours, sir. And I think the horses are tired. PORRIDGE: What makes you say that? SPALDING: They're wearing pyjamas, sir. (Crazy People S1 E12, 16 Aug 1951. Script by Spike Milligan, Larry Stephens & Jimmy Grafton.)

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Larry Stephens @lsggbg.bsky.social · 02/08/2026

JONES: I have a very nice little flat. I took it last year when I got married. HERSCHEL: Married, eh? I've been thinking of marrying myself. JONES: But you'd be so lonely. Why don't you marry someone else? (Crazy People S1 E10, 2 Aug 1951. Script by Spike Milligan, Larry Stephens & Jimmy Grafton.)

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Larry Stephens @lsggbg.bsky.social · 23/07/2026

RAY: Look! This is the gun that killed Louie. PETE: But it's a water pistol. RAY: I know. He was drowned. (Crazy People S1 E9, 23 Jul 1951. Script by Spike Milligan, Larry Stephens & Jimmy Grafton.)

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Larry Stephens @lsggbg.bsky.social · 16/07/2026

FUDGEKNUCKLE: I'm from the BBC. Now tell me - this flea circus business - I suppose you began in a small way? SPLUTMUSCLE: Ho, yes - we started from scratch. (Crazy People S1 E8, 16 Jul 1951. Script by Spike Milligan, Larry Stephens & Jimmy Grafton.)

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Larry Stephens @lsggbg.bsky.social · 15/07/2026

TIM: During the holiday season traffic to the coast is very heavy & every precaution should be taken by motorists & pedestrians. Here is Inspector Bowzer of the Metropolitan Police to give listeners a word of warning. BOWZER: LOOK OUT! (Goon Show S2 E25, 15 Jul 1952. Script by Milligan and Stephens)

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Larry Stephens @lsggbg.bsky.social · 14/07/2026

Happy Black Country Day. Behold the celebratory pork scratchings! #BlackCountryDay

A cluster of delicious-looking pork scratchings.

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Larry Stephens @lsggbg.bsky.social · 09/07/2026

HERSCHEL: You travelled alone? JONES: No, I hired a French secretary. HERSCHEL: Blonde or brunette? JONES: I don't know. He was bald. (Crazy People S1 E7, 9 Jul 1951. Script by Spike Milligan, Larry Stephens. Edited by Jimmy Grafton.)

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Reposted by Larry Stephens

The Goon Show Preservation Society @thegsps.bsky.social · 02/07/2026

Hello folks! Calling folks! We're trying to track down the Telegoons. Can you help? If you have any information, please get in touch: goonshow.org/2026/06/30/w... And we'd be most grateful if you could share this post please. Thank you!

The popular Telegoons puppet TV series was seen on BBC TV between 1963 and 1965. When production ended, some of the studio puppets were given as gifts to friends, whilst others were exhibited in the popular Nellie McQueens restaurant in Sunbury on Thames until that restaurant ceased trading in 1992. At that time, those restaurant puppets were also given away by proprietor David Young (brother of Tony Young, who produced the series) to well-known customers and personal friends. Where are the puppets now? The Goon Show Preservation Society (established 1972) is making one last effort to gather in stories of any of the individual puppets themselves, from the people who were given them (or their families), to add to our extensive documentary Encyclopedia Goonicus project.

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Reposted by Larry Stephens

Larry Stephens @lsggbg.bsky.social · 01/07/2026

Larry Stephens, jazz pianist! The picture was taken in 1942 after the band he was a member of won the 'Best Small Band' trophy at the Melody Maker's All-Staffordshire Dance Band Championship.

Larry Stephens pretending to play the piano. He seems to be glaring at the photographer. He didn't often smile for photos.

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Larry Stephens @lsggbg.bsky.social · 02/07/2026

OLIVER CROMWELL: You stand before me, the smartest troops in Europe. As I look along these proud ranks, each guardsman so smart, so... You! That man there! You, covered in filth! What kind of guard do you call yourself? ECCLES: Der - I'm a mudguard! (Crazy People S1 E6, 2 Jul 1951.)

Part of the front cover of a script. It reads: Crazy People no.6 with Harry Secombe, Peter Sellers, Michael Bentine, Spike Milligan. The Ray Ellington Quartet, The Stargazers, Max Geldray, The Dance Orchestra with Stanley Black. Script: Spike Milligan, Larry Stephens & Jimmy Grafton. Production by: Dennis Main Wilson. Announcer: Andrew Timothy.

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Larry Stephens @lsggbg.bsky.social · 01/07/2026

HARRY: Eccles! Where the...? Er... At this point, Timothy, a door should open. TIM: Then why doesn't it? HARRY: Er... Well... TIM: You've had a row with the Sounds Effects men again, haven't you? (Goon Show S2 E23, 1 Jul 1952. Script by Spike Milligan and Larry Stephens. Edited by Jimmy Grafton.)

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Larry Stephens @lsggbg.bsky.social · 25/06/2026

SPIKE: We commenced building a canoe... PETER: Well, that's the framework done. Now to cover it. Have you any long pieces of bark? SPIKE: Well, sir, I've got his Cantata & Fugue in C sharp minor. (Crazy People S1 E5, 25 Jun 1951. Script by Spike Milligan, Larry Stephens & Jimmy Grafton.)

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Larry Stephens @lsggbg.bsky.social · 24/06/2026

HARRY: I'm giving the masses the benefit of my education. After all, I am an old Etonian. TIM: Rubbish. Of course you're not an old Etonian. HARRY: How can you tell? TIM: You're wearing trousers. (Goon Show S2 E22, 24 Jun 1952. Script by Spike Milligan and Larry Stephens. Edited by Jimmy Grafton.)

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Larry Stephens @lsggbg.bsky.social · 18/06/2026

PETER: Never will I forget that moment when, balanced precariously on a precipice near the summit, my rope broke. MIKE: Whatever did you do? PETER: The only thing that an experienced mountaineer could do. MIKE: What was that? PETER: I fell off. (Crazy People S1E4, 18 Jun 1951 by Milligan & Stephens)

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Larry Stephens @lsggbg.bsky.social · 17/06/2026

SEAGOON: A stone through my window! BLOODNOK: It's got a message on it. SEAGOON: What's it say? BLOODNOK: Fred Smith, window repairer. (Goon Show S2 E21, 17 Jun 1952. Script by Spike Milligan and Larry Stephens. Edited by Jimmy Grafton.)

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Larry Stephens @lsggbg.bsky.social · 16/06/2026

Friends watching Goon Show rehearsals at Grafton's pub. Mrs Larry Stephens is top centre in the photo! (Picture Post magazine, 16 Jun 1951)

Part of an article about the Goons from Picture Post Magazine. A laughing group of men and women with drinks in their hands. The caption underneath reads, "At Grafton's Pub, Victoria, They Are Definitely Amused. Jimmy Grafton, publican, has befriended the Goons for years, now edits their script. In return they have appointed him to act as KOGVOS - Keeper of Goons and Voice of Sanity."

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Larry Stephens @lsggbg.bsky.social · 10/06/2026

SPIKE: Dr Crun inoculated us against the following deadly fevers: HARRY: Typhoid MIKE: Malaria PETER: Sleeping sickness SPIKE: Black water fever HARRY: Swamp fever PETER: Lurgi MIKE: May 15th. Crun led us into the jungle. PETER: May 16th. In bed with measles. (Goon Show S2 E20, 10 Jun 1952)

Part of the front page of the script for the Goon Show number 37, also known as series 2 , episode 20. With Peter Sellers, Harry Secombe, Michael Bentine, Spike Milligan, Max Geldray, The Ray Ellington Quartet, The Dance Orchestra conducted by Stanley Black. Script: Spike Milligan and Larry Stephens. Edited by Jimmy Grafton. Announcer: Andrew Timothy. Produced by Dennis Main Wilson.

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Larry Stephens @lsggbg.bsky.social · 04/06/2026

BENTINE: Do you speak any foreign languages? SECOMBE: Yes, I speak several. BENTINE: Do you speak French? SECOMBE: No, only Several. (Crazy People S1 E2, 4 Jun 1951. "Concocted by Spike Milligan. Additions to the mixture made by Larry Stephens. The poison bottled and labelled by Jimmy Grafton."

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Larry Stephens @lsggbg.bsky.social · 03/06/2026

BENTINE: Gentlemen, the journey is over 3,000 miles of yet unexplored territory. It will have to be covered on foot. SELLERS: What about the terrain? BENTINE: There are no trains. (Goon Show S2 E19, 3 Jun 1952. Script by Spike Milligan and Larry Stephens. Edited by Jimmy Grafton.)

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Reposted by Larry Stephens

The Goon Show Preservation Society @thegsps.bsky.social · 28/05/2026

To celebrate the 75th anniversary of the first broadcast of the Goon Show on 28 May 1951 we have a special offer for those of you who wish to join us! Sign up by the 4th of June to take advantage of the discount! goonshow.org/gsps/join/

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Larry Stephens @lsggbg.bsky.social · 28/05/2026

"Pull your chair up to the ceiling, fill up your glass with potassium cyanide & let the Goons do the rest!" Crazy People - later renamed the Goon Show - was first broadcast on 28 May 1951. Happy 75th birthday, Goon Show!

A piece torn from the Radio Times by Larry Stephens. The caption reads, "The Goons' script conference: is it a joke or isn't it? From the left are; the producer Dennis Main Wilson (with mallet), Jimmy Grafton, Spike Milligan, and Larry Stephens. Laughing it out in the corner are Harry Secombe, Michael Bentine, and Peter Sellers."

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Larry Stephens @lsggbg.bsky.social · 27/05/2026

TIM: What's this I hear about you doing film work? MICHAEL: Oh yes - you remember The Small Back Room? TIM: Yes. MICHAEL: Well I wallpapered that. (Goon Show S2 E18, 27 May 1952. Script by Spike Milligan and Larry Stephens. Edited by Jimmy Grafton.)

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Larry Stephens @lsggbg.bsky.social · 20/05/2026

ADMIRAL TARBUCKET: Gentlemen, sit down please. MP: What is the position, Admiral? ADMIRAL: Quite simple. You bend your legs & pull the chair underneath you. (Goon Show S2 E17, 20 May 1952. Script: Spike Milligan & Larry Stephens. Edited by Jimmy Grafton.)

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Larry Stephens @lsggbg.bsky.social · 13/05/2026

BLOODNOK: Blast! The crocodile's drifting towards the other canoe. I'll ask them to tow it to the bank. (CALLS) Eccles! Will you give that crocodile a tow? ECCLES: Why me? He's had 3 of mine already! (Goon Show S2 E16, 13 May 1952. Script: Spike Milligan & Larry Stephens. Edited by Jimmy Grafton.)

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Reposted by Larry Stephens

Talking Pictures TV @talkingpicturestv.bsky.social · 02/05/2026

Delighted that actor, voice artist & Goons expert RICHARD USHER will be performing 2 'long-lost' Peter Sellers sketches at our #TPTV FESTIVAL OF FILM & TV at #RedditchPalace Sunday 13th Sept 2026. To book call 0808 178 8212 or online here! buff.ly/1SPQOHw

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Larry Stephens @lsggbg.bsky.social · 05/05/2026

SPIKE: I've ridden through winter's icy breath I've ridden in the face of death I have ridden through snow & hail To deliver this message without fail I've ridden since early December PETER: But what's the message? SPIKE: I can't remember (Goon Show S3 E25, 5 May 1953. Script by Milligan & Stephens)

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Larry Stephens @lsggbg.bsky.social · 29/04/2026

SELLERS: A man named Roger Souther is staying with us. SECOMBE: Ah - Roger the Lodger. SELLERS: No - Souther the Boarder. (Goon Show S2 E14, 29 Apr 1952. Script by Spike Milligan & Larry Stephens. Edited by Jimmy Grafton.)

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Larry Stephens @lsggbg.bsky.social · 28/04/2026

PETER: Now, about your education... you're well-read? HARRY: Oh, I know all about books. They're things people keep pages in. PETER: I see you had a public school education. (Goon Show S3 E24, 28 Apr 1953. Script by Spike Milligan & Larry Stephens. Edited by Jimmy Grafton.)

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Larry Stephens @lsggbg.bsky.social · 22/04/2026

SPIKE: Secombe, we want you to get up to the border post and investigate smugglers. HARRY: How do I get up there? SPIKE: Here comes some fast music - jump on that. (Goon Show S2 E13, 22 Apr 1952. Script by Spike Milligan & Larry Stephens. Edited by Jimmy Grafton.)

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Larry Stephens @lsggbg.bsky.social · 21/04/2026

FX: LOUD KNOCKING CRUN: Oh - there's the door. You get it, will you, Eccles? ECCLES: Der - OK FX: TEARING & SPLINTERING ECCLES: Ermm... here's the door. Where shall I put it? (Goon Show S3 E23, 21 Apr 1953. Script by Spike Milligan & Larry Stephens. Edited by Jimmy Grafton.)

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Larry Stephens @lsggbg.bsky.social · 15/04/2026

PUREHEART: What's going on over there? ECCLES: I'm chopping this tree down. P: Silly man! If you stand that side of the tree, it'll fall on top of you & then what would you do? E: Errr... I'd shout: Doctor! Get me a doctor! (Goon Show S2 E12, 15 Apr 1952. Script by Spike Milligan & Larry Stephens.)

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Larry Stephens @lsggbg.bsky.social · 14/04/2026

HARRY: We drank a toast then we smashed our glasses in the fireplace. Pausing to pick up the bent frames, I staggered half-blind from the room. (Goon Show S3 E22, 14 Apr 1953. Script by Larry Stephens & Spike Milligan. Edited by Jimmy Grafton.)

Part of the front cover for the script of The Goon Show number 20 in the third series. With Peter Sellers, Harry Secombe, Spike Milligan, Max Geldray, The Ray Ellington Quartet, The Orchestra conducted by Wally Stott. Script by Larry Stephens and Spike Milligan. Edited by Jimmy Grafton. Announcer: Andrew Timothy. Produced by Peter Eton.

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Larry Stephens @lsggbg.bsky.social · 08/04/2026

PUREHEART: Sorry I'm a little late. Stanley Black buttonholed me for a moment. TIM: Really? He never says two words to me. PUREHEART: You're lucky. He's always saying two words to me. (Goon Show S2 E11, 8 Apr 1952. Script by Spike Milligan & Larry Stephens. Edited by Jimmy Grafton)

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Larry Stephens @lsggbg.bsky.social · 07/04/2026

CRUN: Where have you been all day? ECCLES: I've been at the zoo. It was the penguins' feeding time. NED: So you like penguins? ECCLES: Erm.... no. I like fish. (Goon Show S3 E21, 7 Apr 1953. Script by Larry Stephens & Spike Milligan. Edited by Jimmy Grafton.)

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Larry Stephens @lsggbg.bsky.social · 01/04/2026

HARRY: Have you noticed my new suit? The tailor worked on it all night. TIM: Obviously without lights. HARRY: Nonsense, Timothy. It fits me like a glove. TIM: I wondered why it had four trouser legs and one sleeve. (Goon Show S2 E10, 1 Apr 1952. Script by Milligan & Stephens. Edited by Grafton)

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Larry Stephens @lsggbg.bsky.social · 31/03/2026

BLOODNOK: Admit it - you're a spy. HERR KOMMZEBRIDE: I am not a spy. I'm a shepherd. BLOODNOK: Ah... a shepherd spy. (Goon Show S3 E20, 31 Mar 1953. Script by Larry Stephens & Spike Milligan. Edited by Jimmy Grafton.)

Part of the front cover of the script from The Goon Show series 3 episode 20, 'The Man Who Never Was.' With Peter Sellers, Harry Secombe, Spike Milligan, Max Geldray, The Ray Ellington Quartet, The Orchestra conducted by Wally Stott. Script by Larry Stephens and Spike Milligan. Edited by Jimmy Grafton. Announcer: Andrew Timothy. Produced by Peter Eton.

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Larry Stephens @lsggbg.bsky.social · 28/03/2026

For 10 years Caesar ruled with an iron hand. Then with a wooden foot. And finally with a piece of string. (Goon Show S7 E25, 28 Mar 1957. Script by Spike Milligan & Larry Stephens.)

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Larry Stephens @lsggbg.bsky.social · 25/03/2026

BENTINE: Has England lost its old fire, its burning spirit of adventure? No! Even today the blood still races through our veins as we thrill to stirring statements such as... SELLERS: Rain with occasional fog patches. (Goon Show S2 E9, 25 Mar 1952. Script by Milligan & Stephens. Edited by Grafton)

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Larry Stephens @lsggbg.bsky.social · 22/03/2026

SENATOR McELLINGTON: The committee have now inspected your passport photograph... HAROWITZ: The photograph is blurred. You must have moved. ECCLES: No. I'm still living in the same place. (Goon Show S4 E26, 22 Mar 1954. Script by Larry Stephens.)

Part of the front page of the script for the Goon Show episode number 26 in the fourth series. With Peter Sellers, Harry Secombe, Spike Milligan, The Ray Ellington Quartet, Max Geldray. Announcer: Wallace Greenslade. The Orchestra conducted by Wally Stott. Script by Larry Stephens. Produced by Peter Eton. Transmission: Monday, 22nd March 1954. 7.30 - 8.00pm HOME. 'The Story of Brain' is handwritten at the top although this episode is also known as 'Western Story'

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Larry Stephens @lsggbg.bsky.social · 21/03/2026

MIN: Oh! He's fainted! NED: Yes, and at the exact moment at which you hit him with that hammer. (Goon Show S7 E24, 21 Mar 1957. Script by Spike Milligan & Larry Stephens.)

Part of the front cover of the script for the Goon Show episode 'The Missing Boa Constrictor' with Harry Secombe, Peter Sellers, Spike Milligan, Ray Ellington Quartet, Max Geldray, Wally Stott and his orchestra. Announcer: Wallace Greenslade. Production: Pat Dixon. Script: Spike Milligan and Larry Stephens. S.M: Bobby Jaye.

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Reposted by Larry Stephens

waltydunlop @waltydunlop.bsky.social · 19/03/2026

Oddly fascinated by "Bumblethorpe", a Spike Milligan / Larry Stephens / Peter Ling serial from 1951 in which there was a different Bumblethorpe every week, including Tony Hancock, Alfred Marks, Jack Train and Bonar Colleano. Valentine Dyall and Kenneth Connor also lurking on the premises.

Radio Times listning for "Bumblethorpe", from 1951. Written by Spike Milligan, Larry Stephens and Peter Ling, the title character was played by someone different every week.

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