Lovette 🏳️🌈 @lovettejallow.bsky.social · 22/09/2026Neurodiverse refers to environments that house all types of brains and neurotypes. Neurodivergent is an umbrella for all the below. And people with NPD are more likely victims of abuse than abusers….so survivors. 000
Lovette 🏳️🌈 @lovettejallow.bsky.social · 22/09/2026Pliss people with npd are also neurodivergent and abuse isn’t a criteria. Autistics can have npd too due to trauma and people with npd can also be autistic. 000
Lovette 🏳️🌈 @lovettejallow.bsky.social · 21/09/2026My new essay is about autistic masking, gaslighting, coercive control and self-trust, including what changes when our questions stop expiring and we let contradictions stay unresolved long enough to examine them. #Autism #Neurodivergence 061
Lovette 🏳️🌈 @lovettejallow.bsky.social · 21/09/2026Masking can teach autistic people to monitor ourselves first: Did I misunderstand? Am I overreacting? Am I being difficult? Gaslighting, coercive control and DARVO benefit from that self-doubt because the original question can disappear while we keep examining ourselves. #Autism #Neurodivergence 150
Lovette 🏳️🌈 @lovettejallow.bsky.social · 21/09/2026This morning, over coffee, I realised how much quieter my life has become since I stopped arguing myself out of things I had already noticed. Living more unmasked has meant less forcing contradictions to make sense and less assuming confusion automatically means I misunderstood. #Neurodivergence 141
Lovette 🏳️🌈 @lovettejallow.bsky.social · 21/09/2026Autistic people are not immune to abuse. I keep seeing “too autistic for narcissists” used as reassurance, as though literal thinking, pattern recognition or directness protects us from manipulation. It does not, and the claim can leave survivors blaming themselves. #Autism #Neurodivergence 281
Lovette 🏳️🌈 @lovettejallow.bsky.social · 21/09/2026My new essay is about autistic masking, gaslighting, coercive control and self-trust, including what changes when our questions stop expiring and we let contradictions stay unresolved long enough to examine them. #Autism #Neurodivergence 020
Lovette 🏳️🌈 @lovettejallow.bsky.social · 21/09/2026Masking can teach autistic people to monitor ourselves first: Did I misunderstand? Am I overreacting? Am I being difficult? Gaslighting, coercive control and DARVO benefit from that self-doubt because the original question can disappear while we keep examining ourselves. #Autism #Neurodivergence 110
Lovette 🏳️🌈 @lovettejallow.bsky.social · 21/09/2026This morning, over coffee, I realised how much quieter my life has become since I stopped arguing myself out of things I had already noticed. Living more unmasked has meant less forcing contradictions to make sense and less assuming confusion automatically means I misunderstood. #Neurodivergence 110
Lovette 🏳️🌈 @lovettejallow.bsky.social · 21/09/2026Autistic people are not immune to abuse. I keep seeing “too autistic for narcissists” used as reassurance, as though literal thinking, pattern recognition or directness protects us from manipulation. It does not, and the claim can leave survivors blaming themselves. #Autism #Neurodivergence 150
Lovette 🏳️🌈 @lovettejallow.bsky.social · 21/09/2026Why did they tag it as that. There’s nothing adult content about it 😭😭 110
Lovette 🏳️🌈 @lovettejallow.bsky.social · 21/09/2026lovettejallow.substack.com/p/autistic-m...lovettejallow.substack.comWhen Autistic Masking Teaches You to Distrust Yourselfon Autistic Masking, Gaslighting and Abuse: Are Autistic People Immune to Narcissists? 050
Lovette 🏳️🌈 @lovettejallow.bsky.social · 21/09/2026Autistic people are taught how to mask long before anyone teaches us when masking serves us. My new essay asks what masking can do to self-trust, and why “too autistic for narcissists” leaves survivors carrying another accusation. Read the full essay: linked below #Autism #Neurodivergence 161
Lovette 🏳️🌈 @lovettejallow.bsky.social · 18/09/2026I have completely ghosted Bluesky 😭 i keep forgetting to post on here. I shall do betterstatic.klipy.comAgnes Asks for a Pinky PromiseALT: Agnes Asks for a Pinky Promise 050
Reposted by Lovette 🏳️🌈Caroline Keep @ka83k.bsky.social · 18/09/2026Also want to highlight @lovettejallow.bsky.social who is incredible and just a joy to listen to ❤️👏👏👏 184
Lovette 🏳️🌈 @lovettejallow.bsky.social · 18/09/2026Thank you Caroline! I have been Mia on here but dropping on to say your re appreciated! 🫂🩷 110
Reposted by Lovette 🏳️🌈AnarchyMunroe The Mother Of Jesus @anarchymunroe.bsky.social · 19/07/2026More of this please!!!! 096
Lovette 🏳️🌈 @lovettejallow.bsky.social · 16/04/2026why most people should not use them, and what I built instead. Read the full piece. lovettejallow.substack.com/p/call-out-c...lovettejallow.substack.comCall-Out Culture Has a Place, Most People Just Don’t Know WhereThe popular take is that call-out culture is toxic. The real problem is that most people confuse performance with strategy, and critique with contribution. 040
Lovette 🏳️🌈 @lovettejallow.bsky.social · 16/04/2026Call-out culture is not inherently toxic. Public shaming is a tool. So is community repair. The problem is most people have no framework for when to use either one, and no plan for what comes after. New essay on why I still believe in call-outs, Cont’ 1/2 ⤵️ 1101
Reposted by Lovette 🏳️🌈Thinking Person's Guide to Autism @thinkingautism.com · 18/03/2026"When someone says you don’t look disabled, they are seeing the output of an enormous amount of effort they had no access to. […] What they are not seeing is the cost of that functioning, or what follows it." By @lovettejallow.bsky.social: lovettejallow.substack.com/p/you-dont-l... #neurodiversitylovettejallow.substack.comYou Don't Look Disabled Is Not a ComplimentWhat this phrase reveals about ableism, invisible disability, and why disabled people should not have to perform suffering to be believed 712440
Lovette 🏳️🌈 @lovettejallow.bsky.social · 17/03/2026If you like my you can me here 👇🏾 at my second home where I produce essays, podcasts, voiceovers and video content too. By all means do become a paid subscriber so I can continue the work and also rest. open.substack.com/pub/lovettej...open.substack.comYou Don't Look Disabled Is Not a ComplimentWhat this phrase reveals about ableism, invisible disability, and why disabled people should not have to perform suffering to be believed 092
Lovette 🏳️🌈 @lovettejallow.bsky.social · 17/03/2026Full video here - open.substack.com/pub/lovettej... 020
Lovette 🏳️🌈 @lovettejallow.bsky.social · 17/03/2026Human beings don’t have to unbutton their sounds to prove anything to anyone. Functioning is not evidence against disability. It is often evidence of the effort required to survive environments that were not designed with you in mind. #disability 171
Lovette 🏳️🌈 @lovettejallow.bsky.social · 17/03/2026“You don’t look disabled” is one of the most normalized forms of ableism. Here is why it causes harm. Invisible disability is still treated like a credibility problem. It should not be. If your understanding of disability only covers what you can see,that understanding is incomplete. #disability 1225
Lovette 🏳️🌈 @lovettejallow.bsky.social · 17/03/2026Listen am proud of you for doing that! 😂🫶🏾media.tenor.coma man in a green sweater is standing in front of a pioneer video playerALT: a man in a green sweater is standing in front of a pioneer video player 010
Lovette 🏳️🌈 @lovettejallow.bsky.social · 17/03/2026I love this! Mine tell me constantly each of my audhd traits exist in another family member. I always sarcastically say ”You telling me everyone has autism and adhd traits but none accept their neurodivergence but me? Odd” gets everyone thinking logically again 😂😂😂 110
Lovette 🏳️🌈 @lovettejallow.bsky.social · 17/03/2026I love this! Shows you see your kid and parts of self too. Imagine if we were discovered and understood by the ones we love the most in this way. What a beautiful world that would be. 🙏🏾 020
Lovette 🏳️🌈 @lovettejallow.bsky.social · 17/03/2026The market has changed indeed! So glad you advocated for your young ones! 🙏🏾 000
Lovette 🏳️🌈 @lovettejallow.bsky.social · 17/03/2026Full link: www.youtube.com/watch?v=CI7t...youtube.comWhy Parents Discover Their Own ADHD and Autism Through Their Child's DiagnosisYouTube video by Lovette Jallow 0103
Lovette 🏳️🌈 @lovettejallow.bsky.social · 17/03/2026Sounds like an undiagnosed parent mine was similar. 😭🫶🏾 021
Lovette 🏳️🌈 @lovettejallow.bsky.social · 17/03/2026New video on why parents discover their own autism/ADHD through their child’s diagnosis. Full video 10 mins → youtu.be/CI7tDuQzF5I?... 151
Lovette 🏳️🌈 @lovettejallow.bsky.social · 17/03/2026The child gets diagnosed. The parent goes quiet. Then comes back and says: I think this is me too. This is not coincidence. Autism heritability: 83%. ADHD: 74%. An entire generation went undiagnosed. Their children are now in assessment waiting rooms. #autism 1/3 26711
Lovette 🏳️🌈 @lovettejallow.bsky.social · 17/03/2026The child gets diagnosed. The parent goes quiet. Then comes back and says: I think this is me too. This is not coincidence. Autism heritability: 83%. ADHD: 74%. An entire generation went undiagnosed. Their children are now in assessment waiting rooms. #autism 1/3 0406
Lovette 🏳️🌈 @lovettejallow.bsky.social · 14/02/2026I know some people are arriving at 14:00 and some are coming for the last panels and my talk you don’t have to be there at 12 on the dot I would love to see you! 🫶🏾 010
Lovette 🏳️🌈 @lovettejallow.bsky.social · 14/02/2026There are panels and talks throughout the day. But I am on the latter end around 17:00 🫶🏾 110
Lovette 🏳️🌈 @lovettejallow.bsky.social · 14/02/2026This is for autistic adults seeking community, tired parents, rarely-centered siblings, and supporters who show up IRL. Tickets: www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/the-rose-g... #AutismCommunity #Neurodiversityeventbrite.co.ukThe Rose GardenThe Eden Rose Project Presents: The Rose Garden, an event curated to help SEND families nurture and bloom. 140
Lovette 🏳️🌈 @lovettejallow.bsky.social · 14/02/2026The day includes: • Industry professionals panel • Parents panel • Siblings panel • Special guests & refreshments • Time to genuinely connect I’ll be in conversation with Eden-Rose on autistic childhood, belonging, loneliness & what consistent support actually looks like. 151
Lovette 🏳️🌈 @lovettejallow.bsky.social · 14/02/2026London: craving offline autism community? I’m the special guest at The Rose Garden 2026 by theedenroseproject a sensory considerate day for autistic adults, parents, siblings, carers, educators & advocates. 📍 Arding Rooms, Clapham Junction 📅 Sat 7 March, 12-6pm Read more 1/3⤵️ 184
Reposted by Lovette 🏳️🌈Thinking Person's Guide to Autism @thinkingautism.com · 04/02/2026"People misread our joy, our discomfort, our boundaries, then demand our children perform 'clear communication' on command." @lovettejallow.bsky.social describes the specific pressures on Black non-speaking autistic children and their families. #autism #BlackAndAutistic #neurodiversity 02910
Lovette 🏳️🌈 @lovettejallow.bsky.social · 03/02/2026Precolonial African communication systems show an ethic of becoming fluent: observation, apprenticeship, proximity, gesture. Speech was one channel, never the gatekeeper of belonging. The modern panic about silence is produced by power/surveillance. Essay on Substack.open.substack.comWhat Precolonial Africa Can Teach Us About Nonspeaking Autism and BelongingWhat can precolonial Africa teach us about nonspeaking autism, belonging, and communication beyond speech in Black families and the diaspora? By Lovette Jallow Author lecturer and researcher. 072
Lovette 🏳️🌈 @lovettejallow.bsky.social · 03/02/2026Black nonverbal communication is dense: looks, silence, timing, posture, proximity. Yet institutions that misread Black affect still demand our children be readable on command, then call compliance “support.” Diaspora families get pressured to trade interpretation for training. 161
Lovette 🏳️🌈 @lovettejallow.bsky.social · 03/02/2026“Will my nonspeaking autistic child ever speak?” is a search-bar question. Under it sit two fears: fear for the child’s future, and fear of how family will interpret the child. Speech becomes proof of “good parenting.” The child becomes a performance. #autism #nonspeaking 1174
Lovette 🏳️🌈 @lovettejallow.bsky.social · 03/02/2026Post 3/3: One of the biggest costs I’ve seen, is missing curiosity. When someone refuses self-examination so your discomfort becomes their problem to manage, and your reality gets reframed until you question what you witnessed. From my essay: open.substack.com/pub/lovettej...open.substack.comHow to Reconnect With an Ex When You've Actually HealedWhat happens when you reconnect after healing: anxious-avoidant cycles, secure attachment, and why disabled Black women pay extra. By Lovette Jallow. 031
Lovette 🏳️🌈 @lovettejallow.bsky.social · 03/02/2026Post 2/3: That pattern doesn’t disappear in adulthood, even after you’ve “done the work”, especially if you’re autistic or ADHD with layered processing. You remember every detail, struggle to name what it meant, doubt if it counts as harm, then feel the truth land days later. #SecureAttachment 141
Lovette 🏳️🌈 @lovettejallow.bsky.social · 03/02/2026If calm love feels suspicious, your body is doing exactly what it was trained to do. Many of us learned “connection” through emotional turbulence. The nervous system adapts fast, it starts reading intensity as closeness, chaos as care, and steadiness as the moment before something breaks. Post 1/3: 1134
Reposted by Lovette 🏳️🌈Dawn Riley @ichoose2love.bsky.social · 25/01/2026🗣🗣🗣 By @lovettejallow.bsky.social #audhd #actuallyautistic #neurodivergent #adud #wtpeople 022
Lovette 🏳️🌈 @lovettejallow.bsky.social · 21/12/2025Why do people make promises they don’t keep, then keep interacting like nothing happened? That silence is the second breach. This essay breaks down dopamine, image, and cost transfer, with autistic and ADHD context. Link: open.substack.com/pub/lovettej... 085
Lovette 🏳️🌈 @lovettejallow.bsky.social · 21/12/2025Have you ever had someone promise you something, disappear, then return like it was nothing? I wrote about broken promises, silence, and why “good intentions” mean nothing without repair. #Autism #ADHD #accountability. Read here: 👇🏾open.substack.comWhy People Make Promises They Don't Keep | Lovette JallowOn broken promises, false generosity, extraction & why continued interaction without repair damages trust. Why ADHD doesn't excuse silence. By Lovette Jallow. 020