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LimeriTweets aka WoodyGuth3

@limeritweets.bsky.social
188 followers 166 following 101 posts

I’ve been making bad news rhyme for 20+ years. Former Fox News video cataloger. Now BAD NEWS IN LIMERICKS - a very short program about very bad news.

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LimeriTweets aka WoodyGuth3 @limeritweets.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
I’ve been writing topical limericks for 20+ years. This account is where the bad news gets compressed into five lines. Follow @LimeriTweets for the next ones. Check out Bad News in Limericks: www.digitalarchivy.com/bad-news
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LimeriTweets aka WoodyGuth3 @limeritweets.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
.-. LAUREN BOEBERT SEX SCANDAL SIZZLES Lauren Boebert may attempt to deny The reason for the public outcry ..she’ll reluctantly say ..I’m not really gay But in threesomes I act like I’m Bi. #LaurenBoebert #TrumpGOPCrimeSyndicateForPrison
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LimeriTweets aka WoodyGuth3 @limeritweets.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
.-. LAUREN BOEBERT F*CKS HER STAFF MEMBERS Republicans may choose to support Lauren Boebert who likes to cavort ..they admit with a laugh ..she f*cked 3 on her staff And she makes bank as a paid escort. #LaurenBoebert #TrumpGOPCrimeSyndicateForPrison
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Elusive Elusivecaution
ALT: Elusive Elusivecaution
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LimeriTweets aka WoodyGuth3 @limeritweets.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
.-. TRUMP LOSES MEDIA GAG CASE IN COURT Donald Trump thought he’d do what he can Gagging critics was part of his plan ..but everyone learned ..that the Court overturned And rejected Trump’s Media Ban. #TrumpGOPCrimeSyndicateForPrison #FreePress
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Bad Loser Not A Good Loser
ALT: Bad Loser Not A Good Loser
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LimeriTweets aka WoodyGuth3 @limeritweets.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
.-. LAUREN BOEBERT’S SEXUAL CHUTZPAH Lauren Boebert declares with chutzpah That she doesn’t really know what she saw ..but now it’s not corny ..since everyone’s horny She’ll meet staff for a ménage-a-trois. #LaurenBoebert #TrumpGOPCrimeSyndicateForPrison
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Boebert Lauren
ALT: Boebert Lauren
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LimeriTweets aka WoodyGuth3 @limeritweets.bsky.social · 19/06/2026
‪.-.‬ ‪TRUMP TURNS REFLECTING POOL INTO DEFLECTION SWAMP‬ ‪Donald Trump may have made a mistake‬ ‪With a Pool that he preferred to break‬ ‪..but the reason we’re nervous is‬ ‪..Greenwater Services‬ ‪Is the Contractor whose credentials are fake.‬ ‪#greenwaterservices #ReflectingPool‬
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Sigmund And The Sea Monsters: Green Monsters
ALT: Sigmund And The Sea Monsters: Green Monsters
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LimeriTweets aka WoodyGuth3 @limeritweets.bsky.social · 13/05/2026
.-. TRUMP AND BILLIONAIRES CHOW ON CHINESE FOOD Americans are paralyzed with doubt As Trump brings all his cronies with clout ..they cause great distress ..eating Panda Express And then selling the rest of us out. #china #TrumpEpsteinCoverup #impeachfelon47 #EpsteinsBestFriend
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LimeriTweets aka WoodyGuth3 @limeritweets.bsky.social · 12/05/2026
.-. TRUMP PAINTS A REFLECTING POOL Donald Trump is too dumb to reject A plan with an obvious defect ..without any constraint ..he is using blue paint In a pool that’s supposed to reflect. #reflectingpool #tRumpDespisedbyWorld #edwardlear #limerickday
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Nukazooka Man Firing Blue Paint
ALT: Nukazooka Man Firing Blue Paint
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LimeriTweets aka WoodyGuth3 @limeritweets.bsky.social · 08/04/2026
.-. IRAN AND TRUMP HUMILIATE TRUMP CRONIES Despite all their attempts at deceit Trump cronies may start to retreat ..they tried to sound tough ..til Iran called their bluff And delivered an epic defeat. #TrumpMustStepDown #petehegseth #ImpeachandConvictTrump
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a man is doing pull ups on a bar in a gym while people watch .
ALT: a man is doing pull ups on a bar in a gym while people watch .
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LimeriTweets aka WoodyGuth3 @limeritweets.bsky.social · 29/01/2026
.-. HEROIC MINNEAPOLIS PROTESTORS As Protestors protest in the street Donald Trump will face certain defeat ..in the middle of winter ..Trump’s support will splinter And ICE should be forced to retreat. #iceoutnow #iceout #minnesota #releasetheepsteinfiles #prettigood
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LimeriTweets aka WoodyGuth3 @limeritweets.bsky.social · 18/12/2025
.-. TRUMP LIES AND LIES AND LIES AGAIN Donald Trump just announced with a scream That he’s destroying the American Dream ..but if there is doubt ..he’ll lie and he’ll shout Because he thinks his power’s supreme. #TrumpisaNationalDisgrace #ImpeachTrump #Presidentialaddress
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donald trump is making a funny face while holding a microphone .
ALT: donald trump is making a funny face while holding a microphone .
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LimeriTweets aka WoodyGuth3 @limeritweets.bsky.social · 20/11/2025
.-. TRUMP CALLS FOR DEMOCRAT HANGINGS Every time Donald Trump is harangued He brags about girls he banged ..but when Democrats push back ..his best counter-attack Is to call for them all to be hanged. #TrumpisaNationalDisgrace #ReleaseTheEpsteinFiles #pedopiggy #piggytrump
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a man in a suit and tie is sitting at a table with the words are people still talking about this guy
ALT: a man in a suit and tie is sitting at a table with the words are people still talking about this guy
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LimeriTweets aka WoodyGuth3 @limeritweets.bsky.social · 07/11/2025
‪.-.‬ ‪TRUMP SICKENS CEO WITH DEADLY GAS‬ ‪Republicans are starting to crack‬ ‪From breathing Trump’s dirty blowback‬ ‪..but it wasn’t too smart‬ ‪..when they heard him fart‬ ‪And someone had a heart attack.‬ ‪#TrumpisaNationalDisgrace #ovaloffice #ReleaseTheEpsteinFiles ‬
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a man says you smell that what is that
ALT: a man says you smell that what is that
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LimeriTweets aka WoodyGuth3 @limeritweets.bsky.social · 20/10/2025
.-. SPEAKER JOHNSON’S DERELECTION OF DUTY As he plans his next line of attack Mike Johnson is starting to crack ..he says like a perv ..Grivalva will serve But only if I call Congress back. #adelita #adelitagrijalva #mikejohnson #RepublicanShutdown #ReleaseTheEpsteinFiles
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a man in a suit and tie is sitting in a chair and looking down .
ALT: a man in a suit and tie is sitting in a chair and looking down .
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LimeriTweets aka WoodyGuth3 @limeritweets.bsky.social · 10/10/2025
.-. REPUBLICANS MOCK NO KINGS PROTESTS Republicans are pulling the strings With all of the mud that it slings ..they’ll casually frown ..against #GovernmentShutdown But won’t dare stand up against Kings. #NoKings #RepublicanShutdown #MAGACultMorons #TrumpIsUnfitForOffice
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a drawing of a puppet with a red jacket on
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LimeriTweets aka WoodyGuth3 @limeritweets.bsky.social · 09/10/2025
.-. SPEAKER JOHNSON SUPPORTS TAXPAYER-FUNDED SHUTDOWN VACATIONS Mike Johnson the Speaker can say The government is shutdown today ..from his Washington dome ..he sent the House home & gave them vacation with pay. #mikejohnson #governmentshutdown2025 #TrumpsGovernmentShutdown
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a woman in a red dress is holding a microphone and saying you get a vacation , and you get a vacation
ALT: a woman in a red dress is holding a microphone and saying you get a vacation , and you get a vacation
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LimeriTweets aka WoodyGuth3 @limeritweets.bsky.social · 23/09/2025
.-. RAMBLING TRUMP BRAGS TO UN FOR AN HOUR At the UN, Donald Trump gave his speech Like a dullard who’s attempting to preach ..it seems like a gamble ..to spew and to ramble And brag that he lives on a beach. #TrumpisaNationalDisgrace #TrumpIsOnTheEpsteinList #UNGA80
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two men in suits and ties are sitting next to each other and one is pointing at the other 's head .
ALT: two men in suits and ties are sitting next to each other and one is pointing at the other 's head .
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LimeriTweets aka WoodyGuth3 @limeritweets.bsky.social · 20/09/2025
‪.-.‬ ‪TRUMP IRKED BY 97% BAD PRESS REPORTS‬ ‪Donald Trump is beginning to preach‬ ‪He learned lessons that he’d like to teach‬ ‪..he’d like to impress‬ ‪..that he gets such Bad Press‬ ‪& now he has to cancel Free Speech.‬ ‪#FreedomOfSpeech #FreeSpeech #TrumpIsAGlobalLaughingStock #fcc‬
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LimeriTweets aka WoodyGuth3 @limeritweets.bsky.social · 18/09/2025
.-. FCC CHAIR CARR CANCELS FREE SPEECH ON TV FCC Chairman Brendan Carr Is acting like a King or a Tsar ..he’d like to declare ..that Kimmel and Colbert Are taking their free speech too far. #FreeSpeech #JimmyKimmelLive #Colbert #brendancarr #FCC #Project2025
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a man wearing headphones says " you 're cancelled " in white letters
ALT: a man wearing headphones says " you 're cancelled " in white letters
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LimeriTweets aka WoodyGuth3 @limeritweets.bsky.social · 13/09/2025
.-. REPUBLICANS BLAME LEFTISTS FOR KIRK MURDER Republicans were quite quick to jump And ID each Leftist as a Chump ..they made a Big Error ..saying MURDER IS TERROR Though their Assassin’s a Supporter of Trump. #CharlieKirkdead #CharlieKirk #TylerRobinson #DemsUnited
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a man wearing a blue jacket and white shirt is smiling .
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LimeriTweets aka WoodyGuth3 @limeritweets.bsky.social · 11/09/2025
.-. TRUMP’S FACE IS DROOPING AT MEMORIAL The Press may deliver a scoop That Trump looks like he’s out of the loop ..they’ll attempt to evoke ..that he just had a stroke & his face is beginning to droop. #trumpstroke #TrumpisaNationalDisgrace #ReleaseAllTheEpsteinFiles
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a close up of a man 's face with a box video downloader sticker on it .
ALT: a close up of a man 's face with a box video downloader sticker on it .
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LimeriTweets aka WoodyGuth3 @limeritweets.bsky.social · 10/09/2025
.-. EPSTEIN TRUMP FILES PRESS CONFERENCE Donald Trump will declare by default All the Evidence is kept in a Vault ..but he’ll lose some mystique ..when the Survivors speak About the rapes & sexual assault. #EpsteinTrumpFiles #TrumpEpsteinPedoCoverUp #trumpdead #trumpisunfit
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two men are posing for a picture and one has a pink tie on
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LimeriTweets aka WoodyGuth3 @limeritweets.bsky.social · 10/09/2025
.-. TRUMPFLATION IS WRECKING THE NATION Americans will say with a smile Republicans may stay in denial ..with all the #trumpflation ..still wrecking the Nation Because Trump is a pervy pedophile. #TrumpisaNationalDisgrace #ReleaseAllTheEpsteinFiles #TrumpIsUnfitForOffice
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a group of men are standing in a room and one of them is saying fell for it again
ALT: a group of men are standing in a room and one of them is saying fell for it again
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LimeriTweets aka WoodyGuth3 @limeritweets.bsky.social · 10/09/2025
.-. PUTIN OWNS TRUMP, ATTACKS NATO ALLIES Donald Trump should be catching some flack Since it’s too late for him to backtrack ..he preached to the choir ..we need no ceasefire & now Russia is on the Attack. #PutinOwnsTrump #Russia #NATO #polanddefense #TrumpIsARussianAsset
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donald trump and vladimir putin shaking hands in front of an american flag
ALT: donald trump and vladimir putin shaking hands in front of an american flag
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LimeriTweets aka WoodyGuth3 @limeritweets.bsky.social · 10/09/2025
.-. TRUMPFLATION IS WRECKING THE NATION Americans will say with a smile Republicans may stay in denial ..with all the #trumpflation ..still wrecking the Nation Because Trump is a pervy pedophile. #TrumpisaNationalDisgrace #ReleaseAllTheEpsteinFiles #TrumpIsUnfitForOffice
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a group of men are gathered in a room with cnbc written on the bottom
ALT: a group of men are gathered in a room with cnbc written on the bottom
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LimeriTweets aka WoodyGuth3 @limeritweets.bsky.social · 10/09/2025
.-. TRUMP HECKLED AND BOOED AT DC DINNER Donald Trump may be misconstrued When he sat down for Steak and Seafood ..he made a wisecrack ..about the Russian attack So he's heckled & jeered & he's booed. #russiaIsATerroristState #TrumpIsARussianAsset #ReleaseTheEpsteinFiles
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a man and a woman are standing next to each other in a room with a sign that says boooooo00000 .
ALT: a man and a woman are standing next to each other in a room with a sign that says boooooo00000 .
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LimeriTweets aka WoodyGuth3 @limeritweets.bsky.social · 10/09/2025
.-. TRUMP IGNORES PUTIN'S ATTACK ON POLAND After Russia's recent drone attack Donald Trump is beginning to crack ..he'd like to ignore ..Putin's liminal war While Poland just gets the blowback. #RussiaUkraine #poland #Putinspuppet #PutinOwnsTrump #russiaIsATerroristState
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a puppet of donald trump sitting at a desk
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LimeriTweets aka WoodyGuth3 @limeritweets.bsky.social · 29/05/2025
.-. TACO TRUMP IS BEGINNING TO POUT As people are raising new doubt #TACOTrump is beginning to pout ..from here to Morocco ..they’re calling him #TACO That’s cuz #TrumpAlwaysChickensOut. #TrumpTariffs #trumptaco #TACOTrump #TACO #TrumpIsAGlobalLaughingStock #trumprecession
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a man in a suit and tie is holding a pie in front of his head and giving a thumbs up
ALT: a man in a suit and tie is holding a pie in front of his head and giving a thumbs up
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LimeriTweets aka WoodyGuth3 @limeritweets.bsky.social · 29/05/2025
.-. TACO TRUMP ALWAYS CHICKENS OUT The truth in case there was doubt Donald Trump may be losing his clout ..his tariffs will reveal ..he loses every deal That’s because Trump Always Chickens Out. #Trumptaco #tacotrump #trumptariffs #trumprecession
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a chicken is flying in front of a trump tower
ALT: a chicken is flying in front of a trump tower
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LimeriTweets aka WoodyGuth3 @limeritweets.bsky.social · 03/05/2025
.-. TRUMP PLANNING A BIRTHDAY PARADE Donald Trump will celebrate his birth With a display that shows what he’s worth ..part of the charade ..is he’ll plan a parade That will be the biggest on Earth. #TrumpisaNationalDisgrace #birthdayparade #TrumpIsUnfitForOffice
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a mcdonald 's balloon floats down a city street during a parade sponsored by nbc
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LimeriTweets aka WoodyGuth3 @limeritweets.bsky.social · 03/05/2025
.-. POOP DONALD HAS PAPAL DREAMS Donald Trump may look like a dope Deluded & unable to cope ..he acts like a bully ..pretending he’s Holy & dressing like a Catholic & Pope. #PopeFrancis #PoopDonald #TrumpIsBrainDead #TrumpIsAGlobalLaughingStock #trumpisunfit #PoopPantsis
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LimeriTweets aka WoodyGuth3 @limeritweets.bsky.social · 22/04/2025
.-. TRUMP CAVES TO CHINA IN TARIFFS WAR Donald Trump must have had quite enough With his bullying and acting so tough ..but we cannot ignore ..in the Trump Tariffs War China won by just calling his bluff. #TrumpTariffs #ChinaTrade #trumpcaved #TrumpIsUnfitForOffice
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LimeriTweets aka WoodyGuth3 @limeritweets.bsky.social · 13/04/2025
.-. TRUMP RELEASES DETAILS FROM PHYSICAL Donald Trump is happy to admit The doctor said he’s healthy and fit ..but wonders never cease ..he’s not quite obese 6 foot 3 and still full of bullsh*t. #scaring #TrumpIsUnfit #TrumpPhysical #MAGACultMorons #TrumpMarketCrash
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a large inflatable donald trump statue is being displayed in front of a crowd .
ALT: a large inflatable donald trump statue is being displayed in front of a crowd .
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LimeriTweets aka WoodyGuth3 @limeritweets.bsky.social · 13/04/2025
.-. SCARY RESULTS FROM TRUMP PHYSICAL Donald Trump would like to appear As a man who is driven by fear ..so his doctor’s declaring ..that there was a “scaring” Not a “scarring” on the top of his ear. #TrumpPhysical #TrumpStockMarketCrash #TrumpTariffs #TrumpIsUnfit
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LimeriTweets aka WoodyGuth3 @limeritweets.bsky.social · 09/04/2025
.-. TRUMP DECLARES NATIONAL EMERGENCY Donald Trump says with great urgency It’s a National Emergency ..he glares and he glowers ..about Extraordinary Powers And then teams up with the Insurgency. #TrumpTariffs #stockmarketcrash #TrumpisaNationalDisgrace #nationalemergency
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a bald man giving a peace sign with the word emergency behind him
ALT: a bald man giving a peace sign with the word emergency behind him
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LimeriTweets aka WoodyGuth3 @limeritweets.bsky.social · 02/04/2025
.-. WISCONSIN REBUKES MUSK ELECTION Though the results may look like a fluke Elon Musk must be ready to puke ..he’ll go on a tirade ..about the millions he paid But Wisconsin just delivered its rebuke. #WisconsinSupremeCourt #WisconsinElection #ElonMusk #WisconsinVotes
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a man is yawning in a bathroom with his eyes closed .
ALT: a man is yawning in a bathroom with his eyes closed .
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LimeriTweets aka WoodyGuth3 @limeritweets.bsky.social · 28/03/2025
.-. VP VANCE THREATENS DENMARK Vice President Vance from a Military base Says that Denmark is not keeping pace ..so he makes the demand ..we’ll be taking Greenland So you better get out of this place! #JDVance #Vance #GreenlandNotForSale #Denmark #greenlanders
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LimeriTweets aka WoodyGuth3 @limeritweets.bsky.social · 28/03/2025
.-. PETE HEGSETH IS A WANNABE CRUSADER The reason we’re feeling betrayed Is the poor judgment Pete Hegseth displayed ..he shared secrets of the scheme ..with a War Planning Team & got tattoos for the next Trump Crusade. #PeteHegseth #HegsethMustResign #signalgate #Crusades #whiskeyleaks
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LimeriTweets aka WoodyGuth3 @limeritweets.bsky.social · 25/03/2025
.-. HEGSETH DRUNK TEXTS WAR PLANS ON SIGNAL Pete Hegseth will declare with some spunk The story about Signal is bunk ..for maximum impact ..ignored Espionage Act & then spilled the War Plans when drunk. #HegsethMustResign #yemengate #SignalGate #magacultmorons #petehegseth
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a man wearing a hat and a necklace is saying i 'm sober now
ALT: a man wearing a hat and a necklace is saying i 'm sober now
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LimeriTweets aka WoodyGuth3 @limeritweets.bsky.social · 23/03/2025
‪.-.‬ ‪THE AMERICA FIRST THIRD REICH‬ ‪The Third Reich and America First‬ ‪Take actions that can’t be reversed‬ ‪..they both limit the vote‬ ‪..and complain and scapegoat‬ ‪And continue to try to do their worst.‬ ‪#AmericaFirst‬ ‪#ThirdReich‬ ‪#ElonMuskIsANazi #presidentmusk #MAGACultMorons ‬
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a man in a military uniform is standing in front of a microphone .
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LimeriTweets aka WoodyGuth3 @limeritweets.bsky.social · 22/03/2025
.-. ELON MUSK AND HIS WEIRD BAG OF TRICKS Elon Musk would like to declare He’s a Genius and a Billionaire ..he’ll say, just for kicks ..I gotta lotta tricks Like I can balance silverware. #ElonMusk #PresidentMUSK #magacultmorons #TeslaStockCrash
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a man is holding a spoon in front of his face and the words pathe are on the bottom of the screen
ALT: a man is holding a spoon in front of his face and the words pathe are on the bottom of the screen
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LimeriTweets aka WoodyGuth3 @limeritweets.bsky.social · 18/03/2025
.-. TRUMP DECLARES RUSSIAN VICTORY Donald Trump maybe breaking the news With an offer Putin cannot refuse ..he’ll declare with a grin ..A TOTAL RUSSIAN WIN That Ukraine was destined to lose. #RussiaUkraineWar #UkraineRussianWar #TrumpPutinsUsefulidiot #PutinsPuppet
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LimeriTweets aka WoodyGuth3 @limeritweets.bsky.social · 11/03/2025
.-. MUSK LOSES BILLIONS IN A FLASH With the billions he lost in a flash Elon Musk faces global backlash ..his rockets and cars ..are both leaving scars While causing a Stock Market crash. #ElonMusk #PresidentMusk #stockmarketcrash #DOGE #StockMarket #MuskorUs
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a man is wearing a clown wig and red nose
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LimeriTweets aka WoodyGuth3 @limeritweets.bsky.social · 07/03/2025
.-. TRUMP ATTACKING ENOLA GAY FOR BEING GAY Donald Trump like the dumbest cliche Is putting his dumb on display ..it sounds like a joke ..he’s ratting out the woke By erasing the Enola Gay. #EnolaGay #DEI #WokeCensorship #TrumpIsUnfitForOffice www.newsweek.com/military-rem...
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LimeriTweets aka WoodyGuth3 @limeritweets.bsky.social · 28/02/2025
.-. TRUMP REDACTING EPSTEIN REPORT Donald Trump thinks that if we’re distracted His power will not be impacted ..so he’s telling Pam Bondi ..I’m better than Gandhi If the Epstein Report is redacted. #PamBondi #Epsteinfiles #EpsteinCoverUp #MAGACultMorons #TrumpIsNotInCharge
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a man in a suit is surrounded by two women carrying buckets
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LimeriTweets aka WoodyGuth3 @limeritweets.bsky.social · 24/02/2025
.-. ELON MUSK ATTACKING US WITH DOGE CHAINSAW Elon Musk with his babies and wives Doesn’t care if our country survives ..he’ll ignore the law ..while wielding chainsaw & attacking the #NationalArchives. #dogechainsaw #ElonMuskIsANationalSecurityThreat #MAGACultMorons #nara
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LimeriTweets aka WoodyGuth3 @limeritweets.bsky.social · 23/02/2025
.-. MUSK THREATENS TO FIRE FED WORK FORCE AND TRUMP Elon Musk has decided like a jerk remote workers are expected to shirk ..so he threatens the Nation ..because Trump’s on vacation And on Monday, won’t report to work. #TrumpisaNationalDisgrace #muskisacriminal
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LimeriTweets aka WoodyGuth3 @limeritweets.bsky.social · 19/02/2025
.-. TRUMP BLAMES UKRAINE FOR RUSSIAN INVASION Donald Trump will attempt to exalt Russia for its military assault ..he takes the occasion ..to claim their invasion Is entirely the Ukrainians’ fault. #RussiaUkraineWar #SlavaUkraïni #RussianUkrainianWar #PutinOwnsTrump
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LimeriTweets aka WoodyGuth3 @limeritweets.bsky.social · 17/02/2025
.-. TRUMP SLASHING FAA AND AIR SAFETY The reason Donald Trump is so brash is he’s quite proud of the budgets he slashes ..he’ll deludedly say ..I slashed FAA Right after 8 recent plane crashes. #faa #TrumpIsUnfitForOffice #MAGACultMorons #DOGE #DCplanecrash #seanduffy
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a man stands on a stage with his arms in the air wearing a black shirt that says justice
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