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Lars Klawitter

@larsklawitter.bsky.social
423 followers 958 following 126 posts

Polite Brit trapped in the body of an overweight grumpy German. Awkward. My name is an anagram of “I talk trawlers”.

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Reposted by Lars Klawitter
Lev Parikian @levparikian.bsky.social · 19/07/2026
“So these are the best two teams in the competition?” “Yes” “And the two last night?” “Not as good” “Ok. Do you have, like, any other sports I might enjoy?”
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Adam Schwarz @adamjschwarz.bsky.social · 19/07/2026
I thought dictatorships were meant to be good at sporting spectacles.
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Ian Dunt @iandunt.bsky.social · 28/04/2026
McSweeney: "We procured two strong candidate for [the PM]: One was Mandelson and the other was George Osborne." Christ above. What did the weak candidates look like.
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Lars Klawitter @larsklawitter.bsky.social · 30/01/2026
Go London! But seriously what did they expect?
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Russ Jones @russincheshire.bsky.social · 01/01/2026
I've managed to complete Dry January in just 16 hours, you lazy bastards.
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Lars Klawitter @larsklawitter.bsky.social · 22/09/2025
Having forced myself through the tedium that is Severance, I couldn’t have been happier hearing @mrmmarsh.bsky.social speak the uncomfortable truth on the Scathing Atheist podcast on how bad the show is. An emperor’s clothes moment. I hope more people are encouraged to admit how unwatchable it is.
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Lars Klawitter @larsklawitter.bsky.social · 06/09/2025
👇
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Lars Klawitter @larsklawitter.bsky.social · 27/08/2025
Interestingly enough, that’s probably a statement that both side can agree upon. Finally we reached bi-partisanship!
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Lars Klawitter @larsklawitter.bsky.social · 27/08/2025
Good. Minimum hurdle cleared. Next step: withdraw the whip from all Labour MPs who call for leaving the ECHR. It’s not hard. These are the basics of human decency for a politician. Especially for a former head of the CPS for crying out loud! apple.news/AzfCAewKYRhG...
apple.news
Starmer: Leaving ECHR puts UK ‘on par with Russia and Belarus’ — The Times and The Sunday Times
Sir Keir Starmer has made a forthright defence of the European Convention on Human Rights (ECHR) and said those calling for the country to leave it were “not serious” people. Nigel Farage, the leader ...
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Lars Klawitter @larsklawitter.bsky.social · 26/08/2025
Ah, that proven strategy of trying to appeal to voter who would never ever vote for him while making sure he alienates all the decent people who got him into power in the first place. Masterful gambit, sir!
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Lars Klawitter @larsklawitter.bsky.social · 26/08/2025
I’m just trying to keep up - Vandalising any white surface in the country with red paint is good if it’s because you hate foreigners, but using orange paint because you fear a climate catastrophe is bad? So what about using orange paint if I promise I also hate foreigners? This is so difficult…
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Liz Webster 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿🇬🇧🇪🇺 @lizwebster.bsky.social · 03/08/2025
The Brexit tide has turned 🗳️ Latest poll: 🔵 Remain: 52% 🔴 Leave: 29% ⚪️ Wouldn’t vote: 11% ⚪️ Don’t know: 8% But if you remove the non-voters, real result is: ✅ Remain: 64% ❌ Leave: 36% That’s nearly a 2:1 margin to rejoin. Mandate gone. #Rejoin #BrexitReality #EU
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Lars Klawitter @larsklawitter.bsky.social · 25/07/2025
The National does not disappoint!
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Lars Klawitter @larsklawitter.bsky.social · 23/07/2025
Checks out @iandunt.bsky.social
An audible listening summary, showing Ian Dunt as the top author.
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Lars Klawitter @larsklawitter.bsky.social · 19/07/2025
But what about “wrote a picture” to begin with?? Should we not also be talking about the fact that the most powerful man in the world apparently struggles to string together kindergarten level sentences?
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Lars Klawitter @larsklawitter.bsky.social · 15/07/2025
In the UK we call this a reverse Liz Truss idea: she once suggested in parliament to use barking dogs to deter drones. This here seems the other way round torontosun.com/news/world/r...
torontosun.com
Robot coyotes eyed by U.S. army to protect fighter jets from wildlife
American researchers have come up with an idea to keep birds, other wildlife away from fighter jets stationed at airfields across the U.S.
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Lars Klawitter @larsklawitter.bsky.social · 05/07/2025
I think Slayer could have chosen a better setlist. If you’ve got 20 minutes, you open with Hell Awaits and close with Reign in Blood, right? (and put Repentless somewhere in the middle). Still - incredible performance. Impressed how they’ve still got it (having seen their “farewell tour” in 2018…)
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Lars Klawitter @larsklawitter.bsky.social · 05/07/2025
Oh.
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Sarah Murphy @13sarahmurphy.bsky.social · 03/07/2025
Knowing Brexit is a deeply dishonest project should be good enough reason to bin it, along with the liars who flogged it to the country. Instead, we stay stuck in this Brexit dead-end because no one quite has the courage to admit what an epic fuck-up it is. www.independent.co.uk/bulletin/new...
independent.co.uk
Rayner says Farage’s Brexit promises haven’t come true
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Steve Peers @stevepeers.bsky.social · 29/06/2025
media.tenor.com
Suspect Guilty GIF
Alt: Hot dog man GIF
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Lars Klawitter @larsklawitter.bsky.social · 24/06/2025
Happy Daniel Hannan Day, everybody!
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Jane @localnotail.bsky.social · 19/06/2025
24 June 2025 is this Tuesday coming. There's still time. Don't stop Beleaving. #DanHannanDay
What Britain looks like after Brexit
by Daniel Hannan, June 21, 2016

It’s 24 June, 2025, and Britain is marking its annual Independence Day celebration...

Unsurprisingly, several other European countries have opted to copy Britain’s deal with the EU, based as it is upon a common market rather than a common government. Some of these countries were drawn from EFTA (Norway, Switzerland and Iceland are all bringing their arrangements into line with ours). Some came from further afield (Serbia, Turkey, Ukraine). Some followed us out of the EU (Denmark, Ireland, the Netherlands).
The United Kingdom now leads a 22-state bloc that forms a free trade area with the EU, but remains outside its political structures. 

https://archive.is/fIQ2T
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Sarah Murphy @13sarahmurphy.bsky.social · 13/06/2025
Private Eye exposing again the utter idiocy of our politics. This sums up *exactly* how Farage and Reform get rocket-boosted by a media, drunk on sensationalist nonsense. Unserious and irresponsible but it’ll be up to us to prove them wrong.
MailyEXPRESSOgraph

TRIUMPH FOR REFORM AS IT SWEEPS INTO THIRD PLACE

by Our Political Correspondent
Hugh Kip

In the most seismic upheaval in the history of politics, Nigel Farage's Reform party continued its inevitable
march to Number 10 by spectacularly coming third in the Hamilton by-election.
After a disastrous night for Labour which saw the party only come first and win the election, it was clear that Starmer's days are numbered. If this result were replicated in a General Election, Reform would win a massive no seats, while labour would be consigned to the dustbin of history with another massive majority.
The records will show that our prediction that it would be a two horse race between the SNP and Reform became a reality - as the Scots rejected the discredited SNP and consigning them to second place. This proved, as we said, that Reform is the only option north of the border, apart from Labour.
A bruised and battered Starmer was clearly on the ropes as he addressed cheering crowds, and he must now only be days away from resigning - thus paving the way for Nigel Farage and his four MPs to sweep to power.
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Lars Klawitter @larsklawitter.bsky.social · 12/06/2025
Ah, the NYT pitch bot has outdone itself again. Oh…
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Lars Klawitter @larsklawitter.bsky.social · 12/06/2025
Somewhere a headline writer for the onion is sighing heavily and quietly deleting his last piece…
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Julian Sanchez @normative.bsky.social · 05/06/2025
I feel like Musk could really blow MAGA's collective minds just by continuing to tweet out facts the rest of us have known for years but never penetrated their media bubble.
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Lars Klawitter @larsklawitter.bsky.social · 29/05/2025
Daily Mail interviewing a random company director: “Why haven’t you unequivocally distanced yourself from this attack? What does your silence say about the directors community as a whole?”
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Lars Klawitter @larsklawitter.bsky.social · 16/05/2025
Sea shells? Really? I just can’t keep up.
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Nick Reeves #FBPE #NAFO @nickreeves.bsky.social · 08/05/2025
Starmer is against restoring Freedom of Movement. Please repost if you want our Freedom of Movement restored. We were robbed of our right to live, work, study, and love in 30 countries by the worst abuses of democracy in modern British history.
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Lars Klawitter @larsklawitter.bsky.social · 08/05/2025
I’m itching to point out the difference between ’average’ and ‘median’. But I appreciate that’s not really the point here.
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Lars Klawitter @larsklawitter.bsky.social · 06/05/2025
That’s genuinely an amazing take: “but, but, if we outlaw Nazis, where does the German East get its policemen and teachers from??” Checkmate democracy snowflakes I guess…
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Lars Klawitter @larsklawitter.bsky.social · 06/05/2025
I genuinely thought “huh! That’s a good start to the new government - and coming from the CDU, no less!”. But then I realised, oh, you mean only for Nazis? Well. Never mind.
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George Takei @georgetakei.bsky.social · 04/05/2025
This is about all of us. Never forget that.
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Adam Bienkov @adambienkov.bsky.social · 04/05/2025
'Don't you dare try to invest in our area or create jobs'. Just imagine this lot in charge of the country
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Lars Klawitter @larsklawitter.bsky.social · 03/05/2025
Et tu i Paper? They won one extra MP by 6 fucking votes for crying out loud! apple.news/A1ouXAI3FQpu...
apple.news
Labour fears eviction after just one term as Farage eyes No 10 — The i Paper
‘Do you want Farage in No 10?’ Starmer gets a wake-up call as Reform triumphs
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Lars Klawitter @larsklawitter.bsky.social · 20/04/2025
Oof…
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Lars Klawitter @larsklawitter.bsky.social · 17/04/2025
Reminds me of Clarkson’s test of an F150 a while ago.
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Lars Klawitter @larsklawitter.bsky.social · 17/04/2025
Thats all interesting, but what I’d like to know is in what world would insiders go LONG a stock after learning that Eric and Jr will be on the board of the company… must be this finacial nihilism that I hear so much about. www.ft.com/content/1d9e...
ft.com
Trading in two stocks surged before Trump family appointments announced
Experts view sharp rises in share price and turnover of Unusual Machines and Dominari as ‘clearly unusual’
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David Henig @davidheniguk.bsky.social · 13/04/2025
A very strange UK politics where it seems the two traditional parties are targeting the same ~20% of the population and nobody very much cares about the remaining 80%.
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Lars Klawitter @larsklawitter.bsky.social · 12/04/2025
In my fan fiction alternate universe both Canada and The UK join (or rejoin respectively) the EU. 🤗
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🦋 ~Bindi~ 🦋 @bindiatthebeach.bsky.social · 09/04/2025
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Lars Klawitter @larsklawitter.bsky.social · 06/04/2025
I know this one has been shared ad nauseam recently. But hear me out - he said 1000, but what if there is a completely different rule if it’s 4000 points in two days? Huh? Huh? Checkmate libs!
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Otto English @ottoenglish.bsky.social · 05/04/2025
How's that one workin out for ya Jake my son?
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Lars Klawitter @larsklawitter.bsky.social · 05/04/2025
Paul Krugman on the Ezra Klein Show: “Terminator 7, where Skynet doesn’t bother starting a war, it just gives bad tariff advice”.
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Larry the Cat @number10cat.bsky.social · 04/04/2025
UK: Brexit is the biggest act of economic self harm any country will ever perform USA: Hold my beer...
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Lars Klawitter @larsklawitter.bsky.social · 03/04/2025
Me (an idiot): “How do you bankrupt a casino? Don’t casinos have such a solid business model that they’re basically printing money??” Him (a very stable genius): “Ah, I’ll show you! Imagine this amazingly wealthy and economically successful country is a casino. Now watch me!” Me: “oh…”
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Otto English @ottoenglish.bsky.social · 03/04/2025
Given that just 4.25% of the world's population lives in the United States of America this might be the moment for the 95.75% of the rest of us to leave them to it. Many overseas markets that the UK could be focusing on for example - you know like the fucking enormous one on our doorstep.
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Ben Wikler @benwikler.bsky.social · 01/04/2025
The Department of Government Efficiency, for example
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David Woodruff @dmwoodruff.bsky.social · 27/03/2025
A very old Soviet joke, from an especially dark time: Foxes are fleeing the USSR in droves. Q: Why are you running away? Fox: The Soviets passed a new law that they’re going to arrest all camels. Q: But you’re foxes! Fox: Yeah, why don’t *you* try proving to the NKVD that you’re not a camel.
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