iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Being audhd, I largely need to stimulate the fuck out of myself to get through a day. So it’s either stress my heart out with drugs or do it with caffeine. Then I need some downers at night, so a couple beers it is. All so I can function in a world that punishes me for every autistic thing I do.

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*heart Literally have dealt with palpitations at times in recent years because of stress and anxiety. And my resting heart rate used to be in the 50s, not it's high 60s, low 70s. Yay.

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Been trying for years to get my blood pressure down a tick, and I can’t. I just can’t do enough exercise or get enough stress or anxiety out of my life. I can feel my hear get weaker as I wane here. I have 25 more years to work and it feels like I won’t even live that long these days.

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Kyle Shevlin (he/him) @kyleshevl.in · 27/09/2026

Do you ever just know you’re going to die younger than you should because the circumstances you’re stuck in. As I sit here each day for more hours than I want or should, constantly stressed & burnt out, largely for things beyond my control as an autistic person, I can just feel the years vanishing.

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Sorry, I’ve just heard this advice a bunch and it’s never worked for me. I’ve got some buds, people who will be my friends in the environment of the sport, but none of them have become people that want to do something outside of that. I’ve genuinely tried for nearly 20yrs now.

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Kyle Shevlin (he/him) @kyleshevl.in · 27/09/2026

I play every sport there is, it never transfers to being friends off the pitch/court. You’re only ever sport friends.

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Kyle Shevlin (he/him) @kyleshevl.in · 27/09/2026

There need to be more things you can do solo that are enjoyable and create social opportunities. On my own this weekend, quickly burned thru my ever shortening list of friends and all said no to doing anything. I could exercise free will I suppose, but nothing would be different but my location.

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Reposted by Kyle Shevlin (he/him)

Faine Greenwood @faineg.com · 26/09/2026

lol if the conservatives want to take away my ADHD medication, I refuse to be held responsible for all the incredibly dumb things that will happen next

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Kyle Shevlin (he/him) @kyleshevl.in · 26/09/2026

Our review happens in GitHub, so I wonder if there’s a way to make that loop more autonomous.

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Kyle Shevlin (he/him) @kyleshevl.in · 25/09/2026

Is there anything more annoying than Claude writing code, and then Claude finding bugs in Claude’s code, and having to tell Claude to fix Claude’s mistakes based on Claude’s feedback?

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Kyle Shevlin (he/him) @kyleshevl.in · 25/09/2026

That’s how I felt! I couldn’t get through book 2. Found Apple’s adaptation way better than the book.

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Kyle Shevlin (he/him) @kyleshevl.in · 23/09/2026

Today alone, I've had to hear colleagues present three separate ideas that I already presented months ago and get yesses where I got nos. Do you know how frustrating it is to live life like a DnD character with a -10 modifier on persuasion checks?!

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Kyle Shevlin (he/him) @kyleshevl.in · 23/09/2026

I'm probably an outlier, but I feel less productive in the age of AI because I'm not actively doing as much as I used to. Now, I just have many annoyingly slow conversations. It's like chatting with someone in far off in space where there's a long delay between messages.

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I wish I could talk about chronic depression the way you can about chronic physical pain. I can say to someone, “my knee is having a flare up” and that would be ok. But say “my depression is having a flare up” and that’s problematic. I’ve been depressed for 30 years, what do you want from me?

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I have a rough calculation of cost that aggregates in each Claude session as I go. Yesterday, brand new session, asked Claude to rebase a branch on main and fix the one simple conflict. Cost over $2 and 10 minutes to do something I could have done myself in a ~1min. What are we doing?!

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My whole life I was an athlete, but I've kind of spent all the built up "good will" i had in my body over the years and I need to do something now to keep what i had.

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I don't do well in this kind of environment. Plus, I don't enjoy being places where I'm supposed to ignore everyone around me. It's one of my least favorite things

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I've looked up/saved a gazallion exercises but the autism in me is like "Maybe I should look into TPI certification (golf specific training) so I know _exactly_ what I should be doing before I get started."

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Kyle Shevlin (he/him) @kyleshevl.in · 21/09/2026

I bought a gym membership this month because on paper it makes sense, but boy do I not want to go. I don't know what I should be doing, I don't want to be around people while I'm learning a new space, and the only convenient times to go are when it's convenient for everyone else, too. ugh.

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I don't think AI's going to take my job some day because it's better at coding than me or is smarter than me. It's probably going to take my job because it can't get sad. It can't look outside at the sunshine and have an existential crisis about being a wage slave for your one precious life.

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Kyle Shevlin (he/him) @kyleshevl.in · 20/09/2026

Really need to do some chorin’ but all i have is fuck off energy

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Kyle Shevlin (he/him) @kyleshevl.in · 20/09/2026

I was getting angry reading this til I realized it was sarcasm 😅

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Kyle Shevlin (he/him) @kyleshevl.in · 20/09/2026

Me, too. I always struggled with what to write about, writing whenever I was inspired, and I find nothing inspiring about this era. Now, I just can’t think of a positive thing to say, and I’d rather write nothing than write what’s in my heart.

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Kyle Shevlin (he/him) @kyleshevl.in · 19/09/2026

I wfh because: 1) commutes send me into a rage, and 2) you do not need to hear me audibly say, “Wtf?!”, somewhere between 1 to 3 dozen times per day. Unless that counts as vibrancy, of course.

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The problem is words are its “brain”, so it will always choose verbosity. I’ve found it more effective to have a strip-comments skill and have it run a pass after an amount of work was done.

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I find myself preferring to use AI as an assistant, rather than as an eng manager to their engineers. But even I recognize the limitations of doing that. I find myself wanting to micro-manage the agents. Don't do it that way, do it this way. I can't let go. At least they don't get rude with me.

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I've never once pursued management because I know myself too well. I would not be good at it. Yet, with AI, that's what I've been turned into against my will. A manager of agents. I've spent years sticking to my strengths just to wind up being forced to do the thing I don't want to.

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Dude finally does it at just past the 24 hr mark.

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Kyle Shevlin (he/him) @kyleshevl.in · 13/09/2026

Vet asked for a urine sample from our oldest cat. You do this by putting special absorbent beads in their litter box. Our little guy has been trapped in a room all day, got his food, water and beads, and hasn’t gone to the bathroom once in nearly 16hrs. Are you kidding me?!

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I imagine if I had kids, my time to do nothing would be limited to the very end of my day. On the other hand, eventually they might do a few chores. Maybe.

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Kyle Shevlin (he/him) @kyleshevl.in · 12/09/2026

I’ve got one day a week where I can get my chores done and one day a week where I can fuck off and do nothing. The problem is they’re the same day.

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Kyle Shevlin (he/him) @kyleshevl.in · 12/09/2026

Working in tech, seeing the many series of investments, the evaluations, etc, all it’s ever made me think is there is a lot of money people just want to piss away. Someone want to just give me ~$5M to fall of the face of the planet? I’ll do it.

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Reposted by Kyle Shevlin (he/him)

Anthony Moser @anthonymoser.com · 20/07/2026

maybe a more precise phrasing of the original point would be people can produce careless work or careful work but LLMs can only produce careless work, even if it is sometimes correct, because they are incapable of care

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Kyle Shevlin (he/him) @kyleshevl.in · 10/09/2026

The Ember mug I’ve now used pretty much every day for years failed to charge last night, so today I’m drinking coffee from a regular mug like some uncivilized heathen.

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Kyle Shevlin (he/him) @kyleshevl.in · 09/09/2026

Feel like I’ve been in this state re: talks permanently since about 2021

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Kyle Shevlin (he/him) @kyleshevl.in · 09/09/2026

The weekend brain fog just gets worse and worse anymore. I woke up into 5 straight meetings to start my week. Was clueless in all of them.

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What trillionaire wouldn’t want complete oversight over their project? lol

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I have literally zero idea what I was doing Friday.

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Think I need a day off after the long weekend.

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