iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Kris King 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️🇪🇺🇺🇦💙 @kris-king.bsky.social · 03/10/2026

I'm hungry, but don't fancy anything ... I want to do something, but nothing remotely appeals to me ... All of a sudden, I'm just tired - of everything. Why the sudden drastic mood shift, what the fuck?

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Kris King 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️🇪🇺🇺🇦💙 @kris-king.bsky.social · 03/10/2026

So, my ex is getting married this month ... it's been less than 2 years since we broke up. I would tell her soon-to-be husband that she's something of a manipulative parasite who's seemingly incapable of demonstrating any respect for a partner, but I think a marriage should be full of surprises.

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Kris King 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️🇪🇺🇺🇦💙 @kris-king.bsky.social · 03/10/2026

Why is the train urging me to "take all of your belongings with you"? Do they not know how expensive it would be to go everywhere in a truck? Or how long it would take me to empty and refill my house every time I went out?

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Kris King 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️🇪🇺🇺🇦💙 @kris-king.bsky.social · 03/10/2026

Inspired to thinking of a time my internal organs tried to kill me. This was taken moments after the catheter was rammed into my chest, and moments before I explained to a nurse that I was laughing my arse off because my right tit now looked like the back of a washing machine.

Picture of myself, shirtless (sorry), and displayinga recently fitted central venous catheter.

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Kris King 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️🇪🇺🇺🇦💙 @kris-king.bsky.social · 03/10/2026

In Penzance, outside the Superdrug, there's a guy playing "Duelling Banjos" by himself. I don't want to say that in this part of the world that's a little on the nose, but IYKYK

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Kris King 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️🇪🇺🇺🇦💙 @kris-king.bsky.social · 03/10/2026

Ah, good, right on time ... that moment whenever I travel anywhere where my stomach starts going mental and making me wish I'd not left the house.

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Kris King 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️🇪🇺🇺🇦💙 @kris-king.bsky.social · 03/10/2026

Double seat and a table in a fairly deserted carriage. Thank you very much.

Train table with an ereader, pair of headphones, and a coffee resting on it

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Kris King 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️🇪🇺🇺🇦💙 @kris-king.bsky.social · 02/10/2026

"1 in 5 Americans who voted for Trump in 2024 now regret their choice" No, they don't. If they were, they would have expressed it years ago when Trump's policies first started hurting people. They're not experiencing any kind of remorse or even regret over how they voted ...

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Kris King 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️🇪🇺🇺🇦💙 @kris-king.bsky.social · 01/10/2026

I just bought a pack of "Carl Sagan's Apple Pie Mix". It contains a singularity and instructions saying to leave to expand for 13.75bn years.

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Kris King 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️🇪🇺🇺🇦💙 @kris-king.bsky.social · 01/10/2026

Netanyahu says flight attacker "underwent Islamist radical indoctrination", and that's why he should be allowed to continue genociding the next door neighbours.

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Kris King 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️🇪🇺🇺🇦💙 @kris-king.bsky.social · 01/10/2026

My challenge comes whenever the self-checkout scale gets confused, and a staff member comes over to assist. I have to resist the urge to explain the problem as Frodo having discovered a ring in his pocket, before clarifying that there's an unexpected item in the Baggins area.

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Reposted by Kris King 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️🇪🇺🇺🇦💙

Spooky Scaryshire @chrissyd-comedy.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

GIG LIST 2026!

Thu 01 Oct - Headlining, Comedy on the River, Cardiff
Sat 03 Oct - INNARDS, The Front Room, Penzance Comedy Festival
Sat 03 Oct - Festival Showcase, The Copper Fox, Penzance Comedy Festival
Thu 19 Nov - Dolly Chicken Comedy, The Flute and Tankard, Cardiff
Tue 01 Dec - Road Test Comedy, Newbridge Hotel

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Kris King 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️🇪🇺🇺🇦💙 @kris-king.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

I think Eric Schmitt may have very publicly broken the world record for the shortest time between wearing a shit-eating grin and being forced to eat shit.

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Kris King 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️🇪🇺🇺🇦💙 @kris-king.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

The "People you may know" section on Facebook is just taking the piss now. Not only are they unknown a not insignificant number have profile pictures with boobs quite prominently on display. Yes, I'm still fucking single, thank you, Facebook. Stop rubbing it in, you bastard.

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Kris King 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️🇪🇺🇺🇦💙 @kris-king.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

I have no idea why the middle-aged man who just walked past me in the park carried the distinct aroma of aftershave, but I hope that it's not because he's strolling the wooded paths on the pull for squirrels.

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Kris King 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️🇪🇺🇺🇦💙 @kris-king.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

"Queen: Live In Budapest" on the IMAX? One ticket please and thank you!

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Kris King 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️🇪🇺🇺🇦💙 @kris-king.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

The petrol pumps are demonstrating a greater range of movement than Shaun #Strictly

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Kris King 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️🇪🇺🇺🇦💙 @kris-king.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

Starting to think Vicky Gill just raided the wardrobe from the nearest production of The Lion King #Strictly

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Kris King 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️🇪🇺🇺🇦💙 @kris-king.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

I am wondering which male celeb this year will get the sort of attention and comments from Shirley that sail dangerously close to the wind of a conversation from the BBC's HR department #Strictly

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Kris King 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️🇪🇺🇺🇦💙 @kris-king.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

I don't know whether the greater atrocity is Will's lion vest or the fact that they're dancing to a Robbie Williams song #Strictly

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Kris King 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️🇪🇺🇺🇦💙 @kris-king.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

The moment you realise you've died and gone to The Bad Place when you open the door to the swinging couple you were told would be visiting you soon.

Melania and Donald Trump with faces like a pair of violently slapped arses.

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Kris King 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️🇪🇺🇺🇦💙 @kris-king.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

U2 celebrate their 50th anniversary by performing at their old school, an educational establishment that would be in a much better state if they paid their fucking tax.

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Kris King 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️🇪🇺🇺🇦💙 @kris-king.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

I've just discovered Bournville Old Jamaica (rum & raisin) This may be a very bad thing.

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Reposted by Kris King 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️🇪🇺🇺🇦💙

Humor Satire Memes @funnysnarkyjoke.bsky.social · 21/11/2025

>SATIRICAL NEWS New Poll Finds Trump Less Popular Than Scene Where Artax Sinks in the Swamp of Sadness - pic of Atreyu trying to pull artax out of the swamp of mud - @funnysnarkyjoke.bsky.social

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Kris King 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️🇪🇺🇺🇦💙 @kris-king.bsky.social · 21/09/2026

The only way this can possibly end well is if it results in a plane load of MAGA Republicans dropping out of the sky and nose-diving into the White House like a fucking dart.

Screenshot of the Washington Examiner article titled "FAA begins rollout of new AI air trafficcontroller system in DC"

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Kris King 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️🇪🇺🇺🇦💙 @kris-king.bsky.social · 19/09/2026

So, Strictly has finally stretched the definition of "celebrity" *so* thin that it can only be measured in angstroms. "Content creator"? Really? That could literally describe anyone who's ever had a poo.

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Kris King 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️🇪🇺🇺🇦💙 @kris-king.bsky.social · 16/09/2026

Okay, Piddington, you want to leave the UK? Fine. Hard border, trade on WTO rules, all vehicles entering and leaving subject to customs checks, all people require passport and visa to get in and out. Let's see how committed you are to this fucking premise, you daft, little-Englander racist cunts.

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Kris King 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️🇪🇺🇺🇦💙 @kris-king.bsky.social · 15/09/2026

I didn't realise that Hayu broadcast terrorist recruitment films until I saw an advert for "The Real Housewives of London" and suddenly felt the irresistible urge to join ISIS.

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Kris King 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️🇪🇺🇺🇦💙 @kris-king.bsky.social · 12/09/2026

Superman is on a peace mission to a galaxy "several hundred trillion light years away"? The size of the observable universe and the laws of physics would like a word #Supergirl1984

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Kris King 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️🇪🇺🇺🇦💙 @kris-king.bsky.social · 12/09/2026

It's handy that Kara's pod had a clothing department, hair salon, and make up counter in it so she could be Supergirl-ready the moment she arrived on Earth #Supergirl1984

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Kris King 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️🇪🇺🇺🇦💙 @kris-king.bsky.social · 12/09/2026

Tonight's slice of 80's cheese (it's still not as bad as "Superman IV: The Quest For Peace")

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Kris King 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️🇪🇺🇺🇦💙 @kris-king.bsky.social · 12/09/2026

These toys aren't for children; they're for the army of beige parents who see living inside a bowl of Ready Brek as the single most important priority in their bland and meaningless lives. Children need colours, and these children in particular need better parents.

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Kris King 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️🇪🇺🇺🇦💙 @kris-king.bsky.social · 11/09/2026

A week off work to use up holiday time before year end so, naturally, since I'm alone and have no plans or means to realise any I intend to spend the week decorating, drinking, and watching movies.

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Kris King 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️🇪🇺🇺🇦💙 @kris-king.bsky.social · 11/09/2026

It's a pity it's not for sale - and probably too tall to fit - but this dragon would look amazing in our front room window.

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Kris King 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️🇪🇺🇺🇦💙 @kris-king.bsky.social · 10/09/2026

Democrats should just come out and say "Vote for us in the mid-terms and we'll give you $5,001" seeing as how bribery and buying people's votes is no longer illegal.

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Kris King 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️🇪🇺🇺🇦💙 @kris-king.bsky.social · 08/09/2026

Catch a falling star and Put it in your pocket FUCKING HELL IT'S BURNED MY LEG!

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Kris King 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️🇪🇺🇺🇦💙 @kris-king.bsky.social · 05/09/2026

The dumbest thing ever shoved through my letterbox. I live in a first floor flat above a Co-Op at the junction of two busy, entirely treeless roads. It's impossible for it to be more obvious how little I could ever need the services of a tree surgeon.

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