iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Kris King 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️🇪🇺🇺🇦💙 @kris-king.bsky.social · 7h

For me, the magic part wouldn't be finding someone but actually finding someone who deserves me. Don't get me wrong, that's not arrogance talking ... it's the standards I developed after decades of dating liars, cheats, thieves (in one case), and parasites. Sick of being heartbroken.

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Kris King 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️🇪🇺🇺🇦💙 @kris-king.bsky.social · 10h

Sometimes, you have to manually translate the headlines for yourself

BBC News article modified to read "'Time for Ukraine to get new president,' says Putin's bitch after sucking his diesel-dripping cock"

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Kris King 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️🇪🇺🇺🇦💙 @kris-king.bsky.social · 10h

(for the record, by "enjoy" I obviously mean "I'm single, smoke-free, drug-free, and tee-total now so I have literally no other forms of pleasure going on my life, and your pity is both justified and welcome")

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Kris King 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️🇪🇺🇺🇦💙 @kris-king.bsky.social · 10h

I enjoy selecting "Don't Recommend This Channel" whenever I see an AI-generated thumbnail. If a creator can't even make a simple thumbnail then I have no confidence in the quality of their videos. I'm not going to waste my time watching that shit, and the algorithm needs to learn that.

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Kris King 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️🇪🇺🇺🇦💙 @kris-king.bsky.social · 12h

Did Kai say "inspo" for "inspiration"? Fuck me. Little boils my piss faster than adults who self-infantalise when it comes to language. Grown ups unironically speaking like toddlers can fuck off into the sea when they next take their "hollibobs".

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Kris King 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️🇪🇺🇺🇦💙 @kris-king.bsky.social · 13h

Thanks, Strictly, for letting me know how much I *didn't* need a 20s, flapper-style version of Whigfield's "Saturday Night".

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Kris King 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️🇪🇺🇺🇦💙 @kris-king.bsky.social · 13h

In other words, the controversy over your recent live shows has not deterred you from getting back in the studio and doing what you do best, Mr Sheeran?

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Kris King 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️🇪🇺🇺🇦💙 @kris-king.bsky.social · 13h

Anyone else notice the really clunky edit in the attempt to truncate the Strictly main theme?

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Kris King 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️🇪🇺🇺🇦💙 @kris-king.bsky.social · 16h

"Queen: Budapest" looks fucking amazing in IMAX. 40ft Brian May, anybody?

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Kris King 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️🇪🇺🇺🇦💙 @kris-king.bsky.social · 20h

It's just oat milk with multi-vitamins ground in, and a thimble of chocolate powder so you don't realise too quickly you're just drinking the world's nastiest porridge.

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Kris King 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️🇪🇺🇺🇦💙 @kris-king.bsky.social · 20h

Perfect! An opportunity to eat a shed-load of fish fingers and oven chips incredibly quickly, whilst mopping a small lake off the kitchen floor!

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Kris King 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️🇪🇺🇺🇦💙 @kris-king.bsky.social · 09/10/2026

My first time seeing a movie in 4DX will also be my last. It's FUCKING ANNOYING. Nothing breaks the carefully established immersion of a movie like the feeling you're watching it on the deck of a cross-channel ferry in rough seas. Whoever invented 4DX hates movies, and wants you to hate them too.

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Kris King 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️🇪🇺🇺🇦💙 @kris-king.bsky.social · 09/10/2026

Treating myself to "Project Hail Mary" in 4DX, since I never originally got to see it on the big screen.

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Kris King 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️🇪🇺🇺🇦💙 @kris-king.bsky.social · 09/10/2026

Plans for the weekend: start gathering/making props for a video without arousing suspicion as to why I'm buying a length of rope, a replica gun, and a large quantity of paracetamol. (it'll make sense when it's done, and I'm fine - I promise) 🙂

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Kris King 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️🇪🇺🇺🇦💙 @kris-king.bsky.social · 09/10/2026

No worries, my pleasure. There's always a chance the screen recording step might drop frames here and there, and you'll be re-encoding the original twice, so if you're not happy with the quality of your final video, give me a shout.

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Kris King 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️🇪🇺🇺🇦💙 @kris-king.bsky.social · 09/10/2026

Hmmm. Well, I'm not going to attempt to diagnose an unfamiliar OS or software remotely, so if all else fails feel free to DM me the links to any vids you need downloaded, I'll grab them and drop the in my Google Drive and you can just get them from there.

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Kris King 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️🇪🇺🇺🇦💙 @kris-king.bsky.social · 09/10/2026

Huh, strange. I can only assume the plugins you tried require a newer OS than you have?

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Kris King 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️🇪🇺🇺🇦💙 @kris-king.bsky.social · 09/10/2026

You could then clip/reformat etc. that file in whatever video editing software you've got to and then upload the result to TikTok.

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Kris King 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️🇪🇺🇺🇦💙 @kris-king.bsky.social · 09/10/2026

Rather than screen recording other videos, you might want to try getting a browser plugin that will simply let you download a YouTube video. I use "Easy YouTube Video Downloader Express" (for Firefox), and that gives you a "Download As" button under each video so you can just save off the MP4

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Kris King 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️🇪🇺🇺🇦💙 @kris-king.bsky.social · 09/10/2026

Yeah, I had a similar problem last time. So, far, I just have the mother of all dead arms 🙂

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Kris King 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️🇪🇺🇺🇦💙 @kris-king.bsky.social · 09/10/2026

Getting double-jabbed (covid and flu) in the same arm (because I have a fistula in the other, so no needles allowed) is a pretty good excuse for not getting much work done. Currently feels like an entire childhood's worth of "dead arm" punches in one go.

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Kris King 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️🇪🇺🇺🇦💙 @kris-king.bsky.social · 09/10/2026

I can give you four ... "Pretty Woman In Black Hawk Down Periscope"

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Kris King 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️🇪🇺🇺🇦💙 @kris-king.bsky.social · 09/10/2026

If America digs any further down past rock bottom they'll hit magma.

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Kris King 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️🇪🇺🇺🇦💙 @kris-king.bsky.social · 08/10/2026

What are you doing in November? I only ask because that's when we're hoping to release our first new song in four years. Just need to film a video for it first. #exciting

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Kris King 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️🇪🇺🇺🇦💙 @kris-king.bsky.social · 08/10/2026

If only most country dropdowns were organised alphabetically and pressing a letter key jumped you straight to the first country with that letter. Lazy prick.

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Kris King 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️🇪🇺🇺🇦💙 @kris-king.bsky.social · 08/10/2026

I'm having a sausage sandwich for dinner, and there's nothing you can do to stop me.

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Kris King 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️🇪🇺🇺🇦💙 @kris-king.bsky.social · 08/10/2026

Nothing like an hour-long Teams meeting on your workplace pension to get you reaching for the paracetamol. I get it, I know, my pension pot is insufficient for my retirement unless I plan to die six months after I get my gold watch. Thanks for reminding me, can I have my lunch now?

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Kris King 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️🇪🇺🇺🇦💙 @kris-king.bsky.social · 07/10/2026

Apparently, the other passengers on that Caribbean cruise gave your mum a nickname.

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Kris King 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️🇪🇺🇺🇦💙 @kris-king.bsky.social · 06/10/2026

You'll get it done, no doubt, but you will be accompanied by the loud ticking of a grandfather clock and hallucinations of calendars spinning slowly towards your face as you do 😁 I had 10 months to write, record, and rehearse 10 songs. Frayed every last nerve 😱

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Kris King 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️🇪🇺🇺🇦💙 @kris-king.bsky.social · 06/10/2026

In my experience most people don't know what they want (beyond the basic mutual respect, support, kindness, honesty, and trust) until they find it. If anything each relationship tends to be a process of elimination and finding out what you don't want. That could just be me, so, grain of salt etc.

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Kris King 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️🇪🇺🇺🇦💙 @kris-king.bsky.social · 06/10/2026

I don't see what I'm doing as stagnating so much as I've decided to no longer participate. I've played the game many times and, through trial and error, learned the rules. I just seem to only ever be playing it with people who think the rules don't apply to them, so I'm done playing.

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Kris King 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️🇪🇺🇺🇦💙 @kris-king.bsky.social · 06/10/2026

If I meet someone, great, but I'm not *actively* doing anything to put myself through that hell again. I'm sick of the dance, the bullshit, the games, and the complete lack of basic respect. I'd rather die alone than endure yet another partner who lies, cheats, or dismisses me when making decisions

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Kris King 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️🇪🇺🇺🇦💙 @kris-king.bsky.social · 06/10/2026

Can relate entirely. When my last relationship was ended (by me, and because they kept making decisions that affected me without consulting me first in spite of my repeated warnings that I don't tolerate that shit), I decided I wasn't going to bother any more.

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Kris King 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️🇪🇺🇺🇦💙 @kris-king.bsky.social · 06/10/2026

Oh, fucking hell, and on top of everything else I've undone a month's worth of weight loss effort. Fuck everything.

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Kris King 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️🇪🇺🇺🇦💙 @kris-king.bsky.social · 03/10/2026

I'm hungry, but don't fancy anything ... I want to do something, but nothing remotely appeals to me ... All of a sudden, I'm just tired - of everything. Why the sudden drastic mood shift, what the fuck?

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Kris King 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️🇪🇺🇺🇦💙 @kris-king.bsky.social · 03/10/2026

So, my ex is getting married this month ... it's been less than 2 years since we broke up. I would tell her soon-to-be husband that she's something of a manipulative parasite who's seemingly incapable of demonstrating any respect for a partner, but I think a marriage should be full of surprises.

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Kris King 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️🇪🇺🇺🇦💙 @kris-king.bsky.social · 03/10/2026

Why is the train urging me to "take all of your belongings with you"? Do they not know how expensive it would be to go everywhere in a truck? Or how long it would take me to empty and refill my house every time I went out?

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Kris King 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️🇪🇺🇺🇦💙 @kris-king.bsky.social · 03/10/2026

Inspired to thinking of a time my internal organs tried to kill me. This was taken moments after the catheter was rammed into my chest, and moments before I explained to a nurse that I was laughing my arse off because my right tit now looked like the back of a washing machine.

Picture of myself, shirtless (sorry), and displayinga recently fitted central venous catheter.

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Kris King 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️🇪🇺🇺🇦💙 @kris-king.bsky.social · 03/10/2026

In Penzance, outside the Superdrug, there's a guy playing "Duelling Banjos" by himself. I don't want to say that in this part of the world that's a little on the nose, but IYKYK

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Kris King 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️🇪🇺🇺🇦💙 @kris-king.bsky.social · 03/10/2026

Ah, good, right on time ... that moment whenever I travel anywhere where my stomach starts going mental and making me wish I'd not left the house.

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Kris King 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️🇪🇺🇺🇦💙 @kris-king.bsky.social · 03/10/2026

Double seat and a table in a fairly deserted carriage. Thank you very much.

Train table with an ereader, pair of headphones, and a coffee resting on it

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Kris King 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️🇪🇺🇺🇦💙 @kris-king.bsky.social · 02/10/2026

It's a welcome step towards his removal. But don't EVER let them forget what they did. They don't get to distance themselves from their vote. They KNEW what they were doing - half the country, and the entire rest of the world told them. Don't EVER let them forget.

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Kris King 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️🇪🇺🇺🇦💙 @kris-king.bsky.social · 02/10/2026

They voted out of hatred and spite. Now, the face-munching leopard has turned to chow on their angry little fizzogs and they're pissed off because, as they saw it, that wasn't the deal they made with the guy. They can vote against him in the mid-terms, and that's great.

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