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Kirk

@kirkbalden.bsky.social
72 followers 106 following 556 posts

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Kirk @kirkbalden.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
This company is so comically evil. Like, so genuinely innovative in the field of making life on earth worse in every way possible.
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Kirk @kirkbalden.bsky.social · 11/09/2026
My wife likes to fall asleep to story apps like Calm and Slumber, which would be fine if it weren’t in direct conflict with MY desire to drift off to my favorite podcast: “The World’s Least Musical Trumpet Sounds” with Gilbert Gottfried and Emo Philips.
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Kirk @kirkbalden.bsky.social · 09/09/2026
Anyway, so that's what I've been up to for the last month or so. The phone is really slick and I will absolutely buy one ASAP, but I do not wish to repeat the experience of making the film for a while.
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Kirk @kirkbalden.bsky.social · 08/09/2026
Hang on a second, Dallas. Your School Book Depository, essentially a warehouse, was a multi-story windowed building, on a parade route, across from a park? Did you do your urban planning with a bingo wheel? Come on now.
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Kirk @kirkbalden.bsky.social · 26/08/2026
I first learned of Tim Curry walking through a pack of film trucks at LAX, to investigate a film set. Someone came bounding out of a trailer and I asked what they were filming. “Oscar! It’s got Stallone, Marisa Tomei, and Tim Curry!” “Who’s Tim Curry?” I asked. A flourished hand wave, “Its MEEEE!”
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Kirk @kirkbalden.bsky.social · 20/08/2026
I’m not here to tell you how to best utilize your weeknight hours, but I AM here to tell you that getting drunk and watching Live Aid 85 performances on YouTube is very much not a bad way to go. Queen, Bowie, U2 (Bad). Maybe cry a little. It’s fine.
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Kirk @kirkbalden.bsky.social · 13/08/2026
Just found out someone at work got fired for posting, so from now on if anyone asks my job is at a car wash.
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Kirk @kirkbalden.bsky.social · 11/08/2026
Ordered a Gibson at a hotel bar and I don’t know what the fuck I just got.
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Kirk @kirkbalden.bsky.social · 06/08/2026
Repost with your earliest childhood crush from film/tv. Amanda Pays from Max Headroom. I was 11. I tuned in because I was obsessed with TV news and sci-fi, but she showed up and I was like “what’s this now?”
Amanda Pays and Matt Frewer in a promotional still from the Max Headroom TV series. Max is on a Jumbotron behind Pays right shoulder and both Pays and Frewer are giving Blue Steel to the camera.
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Kirk @kirkbalden.bsky.social · 06/08/2026
Real story: I played this for the actual agency creatives that made these spots and they loved it so much they showed it at a Pfizer shareholder meeting.
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Kirk @kirkbalden.bsky.social · 24/07/2026
If Hunter Schafer had appeared in 2010, Tumblr would have immediately disintegrated.
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Kirk @kirkbalden.bsky.social · 22/07/2026
I didn’t know these existed ten minutes ago and now I have to have one.
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Kirk @kirkbalden.bsky.social · 17/07/2026
L.A.Story!
A location still for the film L.A. Story, of the delightfully tiny art-deco Texaco station on the corner of highland and willoughby in Hollywood where Steve martin receives a pit crew style full service gas and windshield wipe. It’s a Starbucks now.
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Kirk @kirkbalden.bsky.social · 17/07/2026
Many people are saying
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Kirk @kirkbalden.bsky.social · 10/07/2026
I avoided AI generally and vibe coding specifically before my employer made it very easy to spend a bunch of their money every day building dumb things of little value that could probably be made by a human in a fraction of the time. It’s kind of fun!
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Drew @4484.cool · 10/07/2026
Democrats remind teacher there was supposed to be a quiz today
The day before Mr. Trump left for Turkey, Senate Democrats wrote to the Air Force asking questions about the modifications to the Qatari plane and questioning whether it had all the necessary security upgrades.
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Norm Charlatan @normcharlatan.bsky.social · 08/07/2026
I never had a teacher believe in me like this.
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Kirk @kirkbalden.bsky.social · 06/07/2026
Boy, Ted Cruz has really been eating his feelings lately huh?
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Kirk @kirkbalden.bsky.social · 30/06/2026
Below Dick
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Kirk @kirkbalden.bsky.social · 28/06/2026
I’m not the first to make this point but if establishment dems had managed to muster 1/3 of this level of panic about conservatives at any point in the last 18 years, they could’ve headed off Trump. Also Van Jones saying “we gotta stop phoning it in.” Like, you see the problem. Right, buddy?
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Kirk @kirkbalden.bsky.social · 13/06/2026
Wife and I are looking at apartments and we’d always known co-op boards could be fucking crazy but this listing ended with a word about the strict dog policy of pre approval, no aggressive breeds, or “mixes.”
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derek guy @dieworkwear.bsky.social · 11/06/2026
Hello! 👋 I'm hoping to raise money for two Bay Area cat rescues. If you post a screenshot of you donating at least $20, I will answer a style-related question for you. But first, let me tell you about the rescues, why they're worthy of your support, and hopefully get you to adopt a cat. 🧵
Two gray cats. One has their pawn on a person's knee. Two cats sleeping next to each other.
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Kirk @kirkbalden.bsky.social · 08/06/2026
I don’t need screen time limiters or trackers, I just put my phone down when my hands go to sleep.
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Kirk @kirkbalden.bsky.social · 07/06/2026
Threw on my Vision Pro last night and watched 3 straight episodes of Andor with a nighttime Yosemite backdrop and ngl it was like having a Thundervest for my brain.
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Kirk @kirkbalden.bsky.social · 06/06/2026
This reminds me of a sign I saw on Atlantic Ave in Brooklyn, driving to the beach: HAIRCUTS We Specialize In All Styles I think about it almost every day.
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Kirk @kirkbalden.bsky.social · 05/06/2026
Completely lost the power of speech and just grunted at people until I staggered home? Check. Slept face down on my floor, only to be licked awake by my cat? Check. Threw up ON the bar? Check. Left tire tracks across the median that runs down San Vicente? Check. Nazi tattoo? Nope!
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Kirk @kirkbalden.bsky.social · 05/06/2026
In response to the claims that our dog is always “a little bit chunkier” when my wife comes back from a work trip I will only say that our marriage is private and we are working through these issues as a couple. Thank you for your attention to this matter.
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Kirk @kirkbalden.bsky.social · 04/06/2026
Be gone.
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Kirk @kirkbalden.bsky.social · 01/06/2026
In n Out should be able to just scan my license plate and bill me for my order like a toll road.
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Kirk @kirkbalden.bsky.social · 29/05/2026
It was almost certainly a font, but if we’re talking physical goods, it was a tshirt from Garage Fonts that I would give anything to have again.
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Kirk @kirkbalden.bsky.social · 28/05/2026
Tie for leg or thigh from Pollo Loco.
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Kirk @kirkbalden.bsky.social · 14/05/2026
Whoever said that Taylor Sheridan is Tyler Perry for white people should dm me. I have been using that joke weekly for like a year and I feel like I owe them money.
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Kirk @kirkbalden.bsky.social · 06/05/2026
The richest man on earth is a loser certainly leaves us Much To Consider.
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Rodger Sherman @rodger.bsky.social · 04/05/2026
the way Republicans brag about being the party of dismantling racism in the 1800s is like me bragging about how Yankees have 27 rings. OK if you knew how to do that 100 years ago isn't it even more embarrassing that you don't do it anymore
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Kirk @kirkbalden.bsky.social · 29/04/2026
Years ago we were shown what I guess was a prerelease Ronin 4D that they were calling the TurkeyCam and functioned more or less like this. It Did Not Work and made a big mess. Perhaps if it had been a ChickenCam, things might have turned out differently.
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Kirk @kirkbalden.bsky.social · 29/04/2026
And allows you to go somewhere else/outside.
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Kirk @kirkbalden.bsky.social · 27/04/2026
I was in high school when it came out, was just getting into “cinema” as a craft and went to see it in the theater with a buddy who had already watched it once…
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Kirk @kirkbalden.bsky.social · 23/04/2026
The more little drips of martini and manhattan and old fashioned that we give the dog, the more I think she might have a drinking problem.
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Kirk @kirkbalden.bsky.social · 20/04/2026
Farewell Tim, you were a good sport and didn’t have me fired when I told you that you looked like an alien that one time.
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Kirk @kirkbalden.bsky.social · 20/04/2026
The first person to throw a beach ball into a concert crowd must’ve felt like a fucking genius.
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Todd Vaziri @tvaziri.com · 14/04/2026
Valentina Sgro and Todd Vaziri talk about why misinformation about digital visual effects is so bizarre and hurtful, for World VFX Day. our full 48 minute discussion: youtu.be/8hHWUslmz5Y?...
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Kirk @kirkbalden.bsky.social · 15/04/2026
As we enter Spider Season here in the Bay Area, I must remind myself to remain calm and accept the fact that my car interior belongs as much to the arachnids as it does to me.
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Kirk @kirkbalden.bsky.social · 15/04/2026
This might be the dumbest fucking comment I’ve ever gotten on anything I’ve ever done.
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Kirk @kirkbalden.bsky.social · 12/04/2026
The New Yorkification of California continues.
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Elizabeth Cronise McLaughlin @ecmclaughlin.bsky.social · 11/04/2026
Listen up: I am one of those rare sex assault victims who actually took the guy who did it to court. It was a local scandal that put my initials on the front page of the local paper (not my whole name because I was a minor). You have no idea what happens to women on the stand or in the press.
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Kirk @kirkbalden.bsky.social · 11/04/2026
Yes!!! I firmly believe that Pony High Life should be as widely available as regular High Life, but Modelitos are nearly as good and much easier to get ahold of.
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Kirk @kirkbalden.bsky.social · 10/04/2026
Vodka martinis are not martinis at all, and any vodka drink you can name would be improved by subbing another spirit.
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👻 Retro Commercial Screams 🎃 @retrocommercials.bsky.social · 06/04/2026
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