See Italy the way we did. One bottle at a time (sometimes two).

See Italy the way we did. One bottle at a time (sometimes two).

Can God get a frigging amen?

**In America, we don’t put up with would-be kings.** Our peaceful movement is only getting bigger and stronger. “NO KINGS” is more than just a slogan—it’s the foundation our nation was built upon. Bo...

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Sunday it was just below a billion degrees. I got up at dawn and went cycling. I got home smelling like a dead muskox. What a great way to start Father's Day.

"Do you remember my name?" she asked. I had not. I knew it at one point. She was one of "Gibson's harem". I was down for my 20th or so farewell to the 3rd world tennis club in Tucson and didn't expect guests at "men's night." Now, I felt like she was shamming me for not knowing (or caring) about the harem's names.

Sure it sounds good. Until you remember that one is my wife of 38 years, and the other one is a real dog.

Sure it sounds good. Until you remember that one is my wife of 38 years, and the other one is a real dog. Not an ugly woman, but an actual dog. Seven years ago, I wouldn't have even considered Carol Baskins to be a "real" dog. Anything smaller than a cat did not qualify as a dog to my younger, stupider self…

With their mealy-mouthed, milk-toast decision this week in the Abrego-Garcia case, to return a green-card holder sent to prison in El Salvador by "mistake,"

With their mealy-mouthed, milk-toast decision this week in the Abrego-Garcia case, to return a green-card holder sent to prison in El Salvador by "mistake," the US Supreme Court has made itself completely irrelevant. Here's the Fox News video of the reaction from Trump, his minions and the dictator of El Salvador. If you don't have the 90-seconds to watch, I'll summarize:

Look down when you are leaving the bar at the 3rd world racquet club -- one of these steps is not like the others. It's blonde and has a slightly different pattern

Thank you for the last second invite to a private "town hall" last week. As a constituent in your district in Arizona, I so wanted to ask your some questions

Thank you for the last second invite to a private "town hall" last week. As a constituent in your district in Arizona, I so wanted to ask your some questions and evaluate your job performance as you work for me in the House of Representatives But your private invite text reached me just as I was paying for dinner with my wife.

I love dirty words.  Nothing can convey raw emotion and add meaning like throwing a few fucks or shits into the conversation.

I fought the Facebook, and the Facebook won.

Like toddlers or puppies fighting over their favorite toy, the milli-second the grandchild gets down, the dog sprints across the room and jumps as high as she

I have never been a popular person. I can count all my friends without using all my toes. But in my dotage, there's a war going on for who gets to sit with "nonno" -- a nod to my wife's Italian cousins for "grandpa". When the Boy or his fucking-pickleball wife drop the grand baby off, she likes to sit with me for the first five or ten minutes to discuss what we are going to do that day.

With friends like these, we may all need enemas.

I used to think I was an important person -- managing programs and people to improve everyone's healthcare.

I used to think I was an important person -- managing programs and people to improve everyone's healthcare. But in the last few weeks, I've learned that was a lie. I'm nothing but a big, fat case of waste, fraud and abuse -- or so says Elon Musk and his DOGEbags. I was fading away from work anyway, but Elon just gave my retirement a swift kick in the ass (maybe the first of many to come -- "thank you sir, may I have another" does not seem like a fun way to enjoy my golden years).

Phoenix, Arizona, where mighty rivers go to die.

It began before the beginning.

It began before the beginning. The wife's mother and sister were early. "I gotta go," my brother, the former fruit plantation master, said as the Savage women came through the door carrying boxes and boxes of "cookie shit." Coward! They were coming to my house to decorate Easter cookies. I have no idea why it took four boxes the size of filing cabinets to do it, but I was not going to stick around to find out.

I feel about dogs the way most people feel about children -- I love mine; I don't give a flying fuck about yours.

For those who follow God on Substack, you know that many MAGAs are begging Trump to spare them from the personal pain his reign of chaos has brought to them personally. Saying things like "please don't fire me from my federal job -- I voted for you three times." Or "please don't deport my wife". Or for God's sake, take down that…

Canada talked Trump into delaying his dumbass tariffs for 30 days by promising to hire a "fentanyl Czar."

There is a house just south of us and just north of the Boy's house, that has put my daughter-in-law in a pickle. It's a big house on a horse lot. Across the street from an elementary school, it back's up to a small canal for extra open space. Big, leafy, green trees in front and a brand new pickleball court with bright lights in the back.

It sucks being the only fat man in San Francisco. I was there for work last week squeezed into a conference hotel with a 1000 skinny fucks. A bunch of vegans and vegetarians with food allergies surrou...

Canada talked Trump into delaying his dumbass tariffs for 30 days by promising to hire a "fentanyl Czar." I'm applying for the job. Now before you say "Yanks need not apply", hear me out. For the past two months I've become adept at doing nothing. I'd be perfect for the Czar tasked to stop 40 pounds of fentanyl from crossing the northern border when 25,000 pounds come through Mexico.

Gazing through the warped lens of the empty whiskey glass, the Tennis Channel executive could no longer contain the anger.

I have been disappointed in my country before, but these past few weeks are the first time I been ashamed of America. If we truly are a country of the people, by the people and for the people, the American people suck.

I listened carefully to our new (again) president explain his "strong opinions" on air safety. I knew we picked the right man when he said the recent airline

After knowing me, and/or reading these Bullshit emails, several former friends of mine have told me to seek professional help. "Fuck that and Fuck you"...

He's built electric cars, rockets, and surrounded the earth in low orbit satellites that can control the internet for militaries and millions of people around

There's no fucking free lunch in this world, and that applies to beer too, goddamnit.