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Machine Pun Kelly

@kellyscaletta.bsky.social
178K followers 72K following 15K posts

America's Number One Punned-It. Lifelong Dem. Left my account on Twitter for Bluer Skies. I follow back, but sometimes it takes time. YouTube channel: www.youtube.com/@KellyScaletta Check out my Whiteboard videos and the Pun Show!

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Machine Pun Kelly @kellyscaletta.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
If you walk into a room with 100 dogs and 20 of them are rabid, you're not worrying about which ones aren't rabid. Most of them aren't. But you're worrying about all 100. This is a pot about "Not all men."
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Machine Pun Kelly @kellyscaletta.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
I am working on a cheesecake, but it won't be $50. I'll make the graham cracker crust from FMF.
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Machine Pun Kelly @kellyscaletta.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
I also use two kinds of fresh-ground cinnamon and fresh-grated nutmeg in them. Butter is 100% kerrygold. The flour is a combo of soft white and einkorn, which has a perfect flavor for these.
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Machine Pun Kelly @kellyscaletta.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
A pound of cookies. It comes out to about a dozen. I don't do the giant cookies with those because they don't "giant" well.
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awkword @awkword.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
Trump has moved to significantly reduce automobile fuel efficiency standards, according to a Saturday rant he posted on Truth Social. In addition to the environmental impact, the government’s own analysis shows the decision will drastically increase gas prices. truthsocial.com/@realDonaldT...
Gas pump | text: TRUMP JUST REVERSED CRITICAL BIDEN-ERA AUTOMOBILE FUEL EFFICIENCY STANDARDS
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Machine Pun Kelly @kellyscaletta.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
I'll be adding more options over the next few days. I really hope that some of you can experience the joy of fresh-milled flour.
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Machine Pun Kelly @kellyscaletta.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
I went ahead and opened up a cottage kitchen! If you are in the Austin area and have wanted to taste the yummies, now you can! Right now, I'm just scheduling around the Elgin area, but drop me a dm or a comment if you're anywhere in the Austin area. findhomegrown.com/store/kellys...
findhomegrown.com
Kelly's Cottage Kitchen
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Machine Pun Kelly @kellyscaletta.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
And shitting on the coffee table doesn't freshen up the room. This should be obvious by now.
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Congressman Greg Casar @repcasar.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
The horror has come to our city: ICE has shot a person in Austin this morning. As the facts emerge, I am demanding a full, independent investigation, immediate release of the body camera footage, and accountability for any ICE officer who broke the law.
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awkword @awkword.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
ICYMI: Bernie sanders has introduced a bill to reduce the US work week from 40 to 32 hours — with no loss in pay. sanders.senate.gov
Bernie Sanders at a podium at a rally; text: BERNIE
SANDERS HAS INTRODUCED A BILL TO REDUCE THE US WORK WEEK FROM 40 TO 32 HOURS
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Machine Pun Kelly @kellyscaletta.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
Biden's last 20 months vs. Trump's first 20 months
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Babiejas *tatted granny 👵 💙 @babiejas.bsky.social · 14/09/2026
Imagine being 10-13 years old and seeing this as you are being raped 🤬🤮
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JoGo @mywitsend.bsky.social · 14/09/2026
Imagine Truman or Eisenhower saying this during the Cold War nuclear arms race. We’d all be dead.
This is a Truth Social post from a psychotic madman who is doing everything in his power to destroy the world to avoid being held accountable for his corruption and rape
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Machine Pun Kelly @kellyscaletta.bsky.social · 14/09/2026
Calling yourself a "High-IQ President" is like calling yourself a cool kid. The very statement itself proves you are not what you claim to be.
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Machine Pun Kelly @kellyscaletta.bsky.social · 14/09/2026
Uhm. Fermenting was how we preserved food until we got refrigeration.
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Brown Eyed Susan @browneyedsusan.bsky.social · 13/09/2026
Remember this asshole?
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awkword @awkword.bsky.social · 13/09/2026
BREAKING: 90% of LGBTQ and intersex rights groups globally have lost funding since January 2025. outrightinternational.org/breaking-point
Two women with LGBTQ flag colors; text: LGBTQIA+
90%
A RECENT REPORT FROM OUTRIGHTINTERNATIONAL
REVEALS THAT 90% OF LGBTQ AND INTERSEX RIGHTS GROUPS GLOBALLY HAVE LOST FUNDING
SINCE JANUARY 2025.
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Machine Pun Kelly @kellyscaletta.bsky.social · 14/09/2026
Well the tacos in my picture are now tacos all past eaten.
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Machine Pun Kelly @kellyscaletta.bsky.social · 14/09/2026
Isn't it? Learning to ferment foods is a huge game changer for me. It's like 4K for the tongue.
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Machine Pun Kelly @kellyscaletta.bsky.social · 14/09/2026
Yeah, it's not what you're thinking. It's not "sour." It's more robust and has more depth. Fermenting is actually how we preserved food for thousands of years.
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Machine Pun Kelly @kellyscaletta.bsky.social · 13/09/2026
LOL. Nothing to do with RFK Jr. It actually annoys me he is ruining it for the rest of us. But fermenting foods is very good for you gut health, and it is amazing for flavor.
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Machine Pun Kelly @kellyscaletta.bsky.social · 13/09/2026
I made tacos with homemade tortillas from fresh-milled flour. Also homemade, fermented salsa on top.
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Kat Abughazaleh @katmabu.bsky.social · 11/09/2026
Thinking about how a girl at Christian summer camp asked me if my dad was in Al Qaeda and I got in trouble for asking if her dad was a Klansman bc “her question was understandable”
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Machine Pun Kelly @kellyscaletta.bsky.social · 12/09/2026
Nappy McCrappy strikes again!
Donald Trump takes a nap during the 9/11 ceremony as Melania pretends not to notice.
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Machine Pun Kelly @kellyscaletta.bsky.social · 10/09/2026
BREAKING: One of the firemen who carried Donald Trump has come forward. He claims to have pictures to prove it.
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50501: The People’s Movement ❌👑 @50501movement.bsky.social · 31/08/2026
@awkword.bsky.social, @voffund.bsky.social, & 50501 are urging you to register & make a plan to #vote in the midterms. #VotingIsPunk #voffund #awkword #50501movement
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Machine Pun Kelly @kellyscaletta.bsky.social · 01/09/2026
The call is coming from inside the house.
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Machine Pun Kelly @kellyscaletta.bsky.social · 19/08/2026
I do. It's a bit of a skill to learn to work with it, but it's completely worth the investment. I spend about $1.25 on a loaf of bread that is better than anything you can buy at the store. I have the Nutriumill Classic, which has worked out great for me.
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Machine Pun Kelly @kellyscaletta.bsky.social · 19/08/2026
Woops.
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Machine Pun Kelly @kellyscaletta.bsky.social · 19/08/2026
Today's lunch! Oven-roasted chicken breast and Swiss panini made from fresh-milled flour, with a side of fresh-cut parm fries.
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Machine Pun Kelly @kellyscaletta.bsky.social · 19/08/2026
Why do we have less stable family support?
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tomwellborn3rd @wellborn.net · 19/08/2026
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Machine Pun Kelly @kellyscaletta.bsky.social · 19/08/2026
What if I told you that the White House Ballroom shouldn't be a top priority of the President right now?
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Machine Pun Kelly @kellyscaletta.bsky.social · 19/08/2026
Our current prison system isn't working. So why do we spend so much money on it?
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David Palumbo-Liu @palumboliu.bsky.social · 15/08/2026
“The people who have the most expertise about the prison system are those who are living in it” Scholar and author Elizabeth Hinton on what we can learn from incarcerated people next.haymarketbooks.org/books/2764-h...
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Machine Pun Kelly @kellyscaletta.bsky.social · 19/08/2026
So much gaslighting takes a village.
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Machine Pun Kelly @kellyscaletta.bsky.social · 19/08/2026
Orwell warned us about this.
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Machine Pun Kelly @kellyscaletta.bsky.social · 17/08/2026
With the Iran war always in the news, I think the negative impact of mass deportations on the economy is getting overlooked. But the numbers are real. Look at the actual numbers, and tell me they aren't hurting.
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Machine Pun Kelly @kellyscaletta.bsky.social · 16/08/2026
It's actually really easy. You just weigh out your grain, pour it in, and turn it on.
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Steve Marmel @marmel.bsky.social · 15/08/2026
Anybody accepting money from Musk needs to be shamed into oblivion.
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Machine Pun Kelly @kellyscaletta.bsky.social · 16/08/2026
This is 30% Hard red, 30% Hard White, and 40% rye. It tastes so earthy and hearty. Milling your own flour changes bread forever.
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Machine Pun Kelly @kellyscaletta.bsky.social · 13/08/2026
Join me for a new episode of the Pun Show! We'll discuss Hegseth's Navy, Karoline Leavitt, and more! youtube.com/live/AJLT-dZ...
youtube.com
The Pun Show: In Hegseth's Navy?
YouTube video by Machine Pun Kelly
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Machine Pun Kelly @kellyscaletta.bsky.social · 12/08/2026
Also: www.yahoo.com/news/politic...
yahoo.com
Fact Check: Photos Show Abdul El-Sayed Played High School Football -- Actor Dean Cain Had Doubted That
Are there no photos showing Abdul El-Sayed playing high school football? No, that's not true: The Democratic nominee for U.S. Senate in Michigan appears in his football gear in a photo posted to his I...
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Mark Hamill @markhamillofficial.bsky.social · 11/08/2026
EVERYTHING this man does is to divert the focus from the EPSTEIN Files. E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G.
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Machine Pun Kelly @kellyscaletta.bsky.social · 12/08/2026
If it were shot down, you'd be dead.
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Corey O'Neill @coreyoneill.bsky.social · 12/08/2026
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Machine Pun Kelly @kellyscaletta.bsky.social · 11/08/2026
Would you be pissed if you were on the Decoy Plane?
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Machine Pun Kelly @kellyscaletta.bsky.social · 11/08/2026
Today on the Pun Show, I ponder whether Donald Trump is a real and actual sociopath. Plus I talk about the whole Royce White and Enes Kanter WNBA thing. youtube.com/live/w6NSIQV...
youtube.com
The Pun Show: Is Donald Trump a Soiopath?
YouTube video by Machine Pun Kelly
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awkword @awkword.bsky.social · 09/08/2026
The Trump admin admitted in court that they canceled nearly $8 billion in grants for clean energy projects “based solely on the political identity of the grant recipient’s state”. apnews.com/article/trum...
TRUMP HAS ENDED BILLIONS IN CLEAN
ENERGY GRANTS FOR STATES THAT DIDN'T VOTE FOR HIM
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Machine Pun Kelly @kellyscaletta.bsky.social · 11/08/2026
What? ICE lied? Say it ain't so?!
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