iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Kelly's locked alt @kellycantfail.bsky.social · 09/10/2026

yeah, this tracks. just kinda got one antenna up cuz it's year 1 of knowing what's that about. definitely had the mania, soooooo

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Kelly's locked alt @kellycantfail.bsky.social · 09/10/2026

only year 1 of understanding my own bipolar nature but i'm still feeling hypervigilant about approaching or already being in depressive episode when really what i'm feeling is probably just "not manic" a normal amount of energy to have. normal amount of dread. very understandable self-image issues

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Kelly's locked alt @kellycantfail.bsky.social · 09/10/2026

granted i don't think i could be a garden variety anything (too many allergies)

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Kelly's locked alt @kellycantfail.bsky.social · 09/10/2026

if i were just a garden variety sex addict i would know what to do with this feeling

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Kelly's locked alt @kellycantfail.bsky.social · 08/10/2026

i was marinating in a very good night's vibes bath longer than i needed to and i was getting metaphorically pruney thank u for the lil kick i needed u so right Zzz

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Kelly's locked alt @kellycantfail.bsky.social · 08/10/2026

hot mess autumn is now cool manta fall

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Kelly's locked alt @kellycantfail.bsky.social · 06/10/2026

thank u 💜 kinda can't even be mad about this one cuz like,,

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Kelly's locked alt @kellycantfail.bsky.social · 06/10/2026

update: i did not, in fact, 'fight off' this cold

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Reposted by Kelly's locked alt

amboo grease @tayuh.bike · 04/10/2026

fucking the blood girl for blood

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Kelly's locked alt @kellycantfail.bsky.social · 04/10/2026

never mind i am now appropriately whelmed i just had to dance and play with beautiful vibrant fucked up generous strange people for 12 hours straight

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Kelly's locked alt @kellycantfail.bsky.social · 03/10/2026

"the vibes are bad" ok exonerative tense did u know as an alive human u get to make your own vibes try it with me

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Kelly's locked alt @kellycantfail.bsky.social · 03/10/2026

i don't want to speak a Depressive Episode into being but i am definitely overwhelmed

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Kelly's locked alt @kellycantfail.bsky.social · 02/10/2026

still feel the survivor's guilt of having this much support and understanding, this much freedom to even be so self-determined. but i'm good at being talked out of that. i'm spreading my own wealth around as best i can. i'm fortunate but i did build this life. thanks, as always, for reading my diary

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Kelly's locked alt @kellycantfail.bsky.social · 02/10/2026

that's 'working' as in functional. my brain is still damaged in irreparable frustrating ways i still find myself fantasizing about going back to work until i make a mental error that wouldn't fly in even the most minimum wage of retail jobs. the only reason my body feels this good is 7 years of rest

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Kelly's locked alt @kellycantfail.bsky.social · 02/10/2026

i think what's happening is my body has 'recovered' from much of what was weighing it down, my physical form is in decent shape for the first time in 20 years and it's now capable of going faster than my mind. i think the emotional exhaustion is just my mind scrambling to keep up with a working body

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Kelly's locked alt @kellycantfail.bsky.social · 02/10/2026

taking myself on a 'date' once a week was originally a way to get space from someone who wasn't good for me who was running me emotionally ragged. then i kept doing it because it felt healthy to give myself the attention i give others. now the only one running me ragged is me here. much to consider.

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Kelly's locked alt @kellycantfail.bsky.social · 02/10/2026

strange to feel this pull to retreat, waking up exhausted from things i don't regret at all and wouldn't have done differently, asking myself what can i do differently to avoid this feeling maybe this feeling is ok. i wonder if i'm not simply a different person than the one who set those guidelines

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Kelly's locked alt @kellycantfail.bsky.social · 02/10/2026

oh and thank you for teaching me the term for what kind of sober i am haha

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Kelly's locked alt @kellycantfail.bsky.social · 02/10/2026

logic was sound but the bargaining right at the start doesn't instill me with maximum confidence these dr peppers (the "half a pack" left in the fridge) are gonna go down precious i'm so good at rationalizing something i want. but i also have to go without so much joy and vice. i hate to lose any.

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Kelly's locked alt @kellycantfail.bsky.social · 02/10/2026

just proposed a pact (accepted) with the smoker gf that she tries not to smoke all october (she's trying to quit) and i'll go without caffeine (i'm trying to see something) we were all gung ho until, well, wouldn't it be harder to have half a pack left than if you had to buy a new pack so... well,

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Kelly's locked alt @kellycantfail.bsky.social · 02/10/2026

i think a lot about the idea that what you keep finding yourself doing is what you really want to do, even if it doesn't align with your own self-image but that kinda falls apart when you have unmedicated OCD and you love to please how to learn to say no when you don't ever actually want to, hmmmm

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Kelly's locked alt @kellycantfail.bsky.social · 02/10/2026

keep getting really good reasons to put myself last and being alone is always less interesting than being with the people i give my time to nevertheless here i am reaping what i have sewn, kicking myself as the extrovert psychosis sets in trying some self-control experiments in october i swear it

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Kelly's locked alt @kellycantfail.bsky.social · 02/10/2026

oh lord this wasn't tested to that degree but oh NO i thought about it and.. i can see it happening, yeah 🙈

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Kelly's locked alt @kellycantfail.bsky.social · 02/10/2026

when you're so in love you find yourself humming along to all the songs you hate

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Kelly's locked alt @kellycantfail.bsky.social · 01/10/2026

i like that we're rhetorically implied to be household names 🙂‍↕️✨️

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Kelly's locked alt @kellycantfail.bsky.social · 01/10/2026

she isn't 😇 don't worry i'm making her worse

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Kelly's locked alt @kellycantfail.bsky.social · 01/10/2026

SEXUAL ASSAULT IS VERY BAD I AGREE see you later i guess!!!!!

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Kelly's locked alt @kellycantfail.bsky.social · 01/10/2026

I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHO TF UR TALKING ABOUT IF IT'S GONNA BE A CALLOUT CALL THE FUCK OUT THIS SUBTWEET SHIT IS NOT HELPING ANYBODY

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Kelly's locked alt @kellycantfail.bsky.social · 01/10/2026

was starting to wallow about how many avenues for sexual pleasure are ones my unorthodox traumatized body has designed to disallow but then She woke up and it became gratitude that we get to be this creative 🥴💫🫀

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Kelly's locked alt @kellycantfail.bsky.social · 01/10/2026

i have a gf who smokes and frankly idk how anyone can afford it but i also don't pay for my own gasoline so i should shut tf up lol

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Kelly's locked alt @kellycantfail.bsky.social · 01/10/2026

well not according to the people who market and sell them to you no

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Kelly's locked alt @kellycantfail.bsky.social · 01/10/2026

ever hold the hand of one you love on a road trip through farmland flower fields at golden hour with the perfect song on and cry because you can't believe you're the one who gets to hold that hand right then and there

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Kelly's locked alt @kellycantfail.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

it'd a good thing i don't have a medical kink but they're sure trying their darnest here!!!

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Kelly's locked alt @kellycantfail.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

miyoo mini plus got it for like 40 bucks on fb marketplace

said emulator handheld (styled like a game boy) playing arcade klax in a chain with roland aira S-1 synth and P-6 sampler because this just happened to be a photo i already had on my phone

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Kelly's locked alt @kellycantfail.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

kelly don't forget to take your emulator handheld to the waiting room to wait and see if you have breast cancer the timeline has decided it needs to be relentlessly triggering in the name of ~awareness~ again

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Kelly's locked alt @kellycantfail.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

shouldn't i be getting like a period of feeling normal between bpd phases or is that not what this is

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Kelly's locked alt @kellycantfail.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

i know it's wrong i just don't know what it is

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Kelly's locked alt @kellycantfail.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

it's already a problem!! (can't kiss you right now disorder)

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Kelly's locked alt @kellycantfail.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

i've felt markedly worse ever since the first day of fall when the weather turned here (same day! still weird!!) and i'd say it's making me crazy but i'm already crazy. it is just making me more aware of being crazy "feel it in my bones" but it's my brain time for "nap and hope i wake up different"

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Kelly's locked alt @kellycantfail.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

got recognized in public again aieeeeeee

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