apology amatti @kbandersonyo.bsky.social · 04/10/2026Gen Z tiny mountain town cashier girl in a Disturbed shirt: "hey what's on your shirt?" Me: "Shaun of the Dead." "..." "It's a horror comedy from the 2000's about zombies." "Oh" "...if you like Disturbed, you'll probably like this too!(?) Okay bye!!" (WHAT? WHY KEVIN WHY) 011
Reposted by apology amattiNatalie McGill @nataliesmcgill.bsky.social · 30/09/2026Your birthday is the best way to find out how many emails you need to unsubscribe from. 041
apology amatti @kbandersonyo.bsky.social · 28/09/2026The American dream sure has shifted from "having a house and two kids and a lawn with a white picket fence" to "yearning for a $5k check from the government to take a chunk out of *one* of your streams of debt" hasn't it 110
apology amatti @kbandersonyo.bsky.social · 22/09/2026Promoting a new season of Ted Lasso to working class Americans rn is a lot like telling your most chronically depressed friend to "try taking a walk" 020
apology amatti @kbandersonyo.bsky.social · 21/09/2026Garth Brooks to start a weightlifting influencer channel under the name Chris Gains 030
apology amatti @kbandersonyo.bsky.social · 16/09/2026They say artists should use their platform for the good of the people, but Sheeran isn't an artist, he's a product. I wouldn't expect my air fryer to be on the right side of history either 060
apology amatti @kbandersonyo.bsky.social · 15/09/2026dang I had no idea, I cant believe I have to continue not listening to ed sheeran 5623125
apology amatti @kbandersonyo.bsky.social · 07/09/2026Happy Labor Day! Trip a CEO today or you'll have five years bad luck 030
apology amatti @kbandersonyo.bsky.social · 06/09/2026It's rainy LA days like these that really... ...remind me that it's gonna be 100 fucking degrees again in two days 100
apology amatti @kbandersonyo.bsky.social · 03/09/2026static.klipy.comBang Kim: Gun GestureAlt: Kim Pine from Scott Pilgrim vs. The World (2010) going "bang" with finger gun to the head 030
apology amatti @kbandersonyo.bsky.social · 03/09/2026Just saw an ad for some online therapy company where the actor was singing a little song about how her therapy is working because she's not currently thinking about the economy collapsing, in those exact words, not played for laughs. in case y'all are still keeping tabs on America's imminent demise 833448
apology amatti @kbandersonyo.bsky.social · 29/08/2026make the heatwave more whimsical. It's not a "electrical grid blackout", it's a "poverty eclipse" ✨️🌑🫠 030
apology amatti @kbandersonyo.bsky.social · 28/08/2026In the song "Ride Wit Me" (2001), Nelly states that she "can be eighteen with a attitude, or nineteen, kinda snotty, actin' real rude" which I believe demonstrates quite a bit of range in his personal taste 11438
apology amatti @kbandersonyo.bsky.social · 27/08/2026It's so goddamn hot and humid in LA my phone keeps randomly opening apps on its own because it thinks my sweaty pain is fingers 130
apology amatti @kbandersonyo.bsky.social · 26/08/2026Back in the day, "LL Cool J" meant "Ladies Love Cool James" nowadays, they get brunch 030
apology amatti @kbandersonyo.bsky.social · 26/08/2026I feel like every alpha male post i see these days is just like "why r u, as a man, enjoying ur life a little bit???" 051
apology amatti @kbandersonyo.bsky.social · 26/08/2026in a world dominated by those who lol and lmao, we must always look to those who are still brave enough to rofl 172
Reposted by apology amattiapology amatti @kbandersonyo.bsky.social · 15/07/2026I hope we extend beyond simply making AI flyers for comedy shows one day. I can envision an entire show of AI performers, doing AI jokes for an AI audience in an AI venue somewhere deep within the circuitry of a massive datacenter that just displaced an entire town of people who used to have jobs. 215726
Reposted by apology amattiapology amatti @kbandersonyo.bsky.social · 03/08/2026Colin Kaepernick to begin rap career under alias "Kneel da Grass Hype-man" 041
Reposted by apology amattiapology amatti @kbandersonyo.bsky.social · 28/07/2026We Bought A Zoo In Four Easy Interest Free Payments with Klarna 002
apology amatti @kbandersonyo.bsky.social · 25/08/2026Thanks for the auto-response suggestion, Samsung! I havent met this girl in person yet and now I look SO NORMAL 030
apology amatti @kbandersonyo.bsky.social · 22/08/2026Between Elon Musk and Reggie Watts, ketamine's PR department is gonna need to hire some seriously Glengarry Glen Ross motherfuckers to stay relevant in the mental health treatment game 2111
apology amatti @kbandersonyo.bsky.social · 17/08/2026The doctor's a woman, Lee Cronin's the mummy 050
apology amatti @kbandersonyo.bsky.social · 13/08/2026is there anything on EARTH that is MORE infuriating than trying to find the loose end of a roll of scotch tape that decided to adhere to itself? (other than like, war) 020
apology amatti @kbandersonyo.bsky.social · 13/08/2026The fun thing about dramatically improving your mental health is that people stop texting you back when you aren't only wallowing with them WHAT YOU THINK YOU'RE BETTER THAN ME BECAUSE YOU'RE TRYING???? 031
apology amatti @kbandersonyo.bsky.social · 12/08/2026Just saw Mike Myers and Seth Green doing an Austin Powers bit for a Verizon ad in 2026, in case anyone was tracking the significant events in the cosmos that are pointing to a full collapse of society 320724
apology amatti @kbandersonyo.bsky.social · 11/08/2026Guy behind in line at the the post office on his phone: "Oh my god, did you guys see the new Trump thing" Me: "i cant really engage with the day to day anymore. Just waiting for the "he's d*ad" headline Guy: "...oh. hm. I get that" I think I just broke the doomscrolling cycle for a stranger 041
Reposted by apology amattiKen Johnson @stepfordhusband.bsky.social · 10/08/2026Mexican Italian Fusion Restaurant, call that Little Chonies 011
apology amatti @kbandersonyo.bsky.social · 05/08/2026from this day forward I will only be referring to Frank Oz as "Frank Ounce" 041
apology amatti @kbandersonyo.bsky.social · 03/08/2026Colin Kaepernick to begin rap career under alias "Kneel da Grass Hype-man" 041
apology amatti @kbandersonyo.bsky.social · 28/07/2026We Bought A Zoo In Four Easy Interest Free Payments with Klarna 002
Reposted by apology amattiOpinion Editor @ Bluesky @dly.bsky.social · 26/07/2026oh yeah well could a depressed person do this? *restarts Bojack Horseman from the top* 6677120
apology amatti @kbandersonyo.bsky.social · 26/07/2026The cool thing about being poor in LA in the summer is when you preheat your oven to cook something you immediately die 010
apology amatti @kbandersonyo.bsky.social · 25/07/2026🎵"I before E, except after sea, I didn't land here, you landed on me!"🎵 -Plymouth Schoolhouse Rock 010
apology amatti @kbandersonyo.bsky.social · 15/07/2026I hope we extend beyond simply making AI flyers for comedy shows one day. I can envision an entire show of AI performers, doing AI jokes for an AI audience in an AI venue somewhere deep within the circuitry of a massive datacenter that just displaced an entire town of people who used to have jobs. 215726
apology amatti @kbandersonyo.bsky.social · 14/07/2026Cooking and drinking means sometimes you almost pour yourself a shot of olive oil and you know what? That's okay because it's an almost 140
apology amatti @kbandersonyo.bsky.social · 13/07/2026Luckily for Graham, Hell is FULL of men. Like, every 1 out of 2 men who have ever died are surely there. A real goddamn sausage party. Have at it, bro! 020
apology amatti @kbandersonyo.bsky.social · 12/07/2026Anyone who celebrates death is DISGUSTING when the person who died is someone I fully supported politically and philosophically otherwise celebrating death is FINE actually 071
apology amatti @kbandersonyo.bsky.social · 12/07/2026Walking back from the gas station with a fresh pack of smokes and a Gatorade, and suddenly, lo and behold, a shooting star passes my gaze, my Crocs feel lighter and less sweaty, and I find $10 on the ground 'Twas the way the universe let me know that Lindsey Graham has died and gone to hell ❤️🙏 1130
apology amatti @kbandersonyo.bsky.social · 12/07/2026I, for one, think it's a sign of a good economic system that every single major company in America has multiple class action lawsuits aimed at it at all times 110
apology amatti @kbandersonyo.bsky.social · 08/07/2026today's nightmares were an interesting combination of getting my fingernails ripped off and trying to grab the last Lil' Caesars Hot N Ready pizza Interpret that shit 120
Reposted by apology amattiThe Goods from the Woods Podcast @thegoodspod.bsky.social · 05/07/2026TODAY ON THE PODCAST! Keith Carey, @kbandersonyo.bsky.social, and Kyle Clark are back for another spin in the time machine. This time we’re going back to 1996! In part one, Jimmy Buffett gets shot up by Jamaicans, KISS meets 2pac, and Bill Clinton ruins everything! Listen now! Lynx-N-Reply 231
apology amatti @kbandersonyo.bsky.social · 01/07/2026Do u guys remember when the IDF briefly made family movies in the 90's 1112
apology amatti @kbandersonyo.bsky.social · 30/06/2026Has Tony Hinchcliffe died from being too red yet 030