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apology amatti

@kbandersonyo.bsky.social
626 followers 331 following 1.1K posts

Los Angeles comedian person, writer of text, keeper of silly Coproducer of the Avatar 2 Comedy Show All my things: linktr.ee/kevinandersoncomedy

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apology amatti @kbandersonyo.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
Gen Z tiny mountain town cashier girl in a Disturbed shirt: "hey what's on your shirt?" Me: "Shaun of the Dead." "..." "It's a horror comedy from the 2000's about zombies." "Oh" "...if you like Disturbed, you'll probably like this too!(?) Okay bye!!" (WHAT? WHY KEVIN WHY)
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Natalie McGill @nataliesmcgill.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
Your birthday is the best way to find out how many emails you need to unsubscribe from.
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apology amatti @kbandersonyo.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
The American dream sure has shifted from "having a house and two kids and a lawn with a white picket fence" to "yearning for a $5k check from the government to take a chunk out of *one* of your streams of debt" hasn't it
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apology amatti @kbandersonyo.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
Promoting a new season of Ted Lasso to working class Americans rn is a lot like telling your most chronically depressed friend to "try taking a walk"
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apology amatti @kbandersonyo.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
Garth Brooks to start a weightlifting influencer channel under the name Chris Gains
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apology amatti @kbandersonyo.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
More like Widow's Bae!!!
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apology amatti @kbandersonyo.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
Twink 182 - All The Small Guys
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apology amatti @kbandersonyo.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
They say artists should use their platform for the good of the people, but Sheeran isn't an artist, he's a product. I wouldn't expect my air fryer to be on the right side of history either
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apology amatti @kbandersonyo.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
dang I had no idea, I cant believe I have to continue not listening to ed sheeran
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apology amatti @kbandersonyo.bsky.social · 10/09/2026
Happy Kirkiversary everyone
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apology amatti @kbandersonyo.bsky.social · 07/09/2026
Happy Labor Day! Trip a CEO today or you'll have five years bad luck
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apology amatti @kbandersonyo.bsky.social · 06/09/2026
It's rainy LA days like these that really... ...remind me that it's gonna be 100 fucking degrees again in two days
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apology amatti @kbandersonyo.bsky.social · 03/09/2026
static.klipy.com
Bang Kim: Gun Gesture
Alt: Kim Pine from Scott Pilgrim vs. The World (2010) going "bang" with finger gun to the head
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apology amatti @kbandersonyo.bsky.social · 03/09/2026
Just saw an ad for some online therapy company where the actor was singing a little song about how her therapy is working because she's not currently thinking about the economy collapsing, in those exact words, not played for laughs. in case y'all are still keeping tabs on America's imminent demise
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apology amatti @kbandersonyo.bsky.social · 29/08/2026
make the heatwave more whimsical. It's not a "electrical grid blackout", it's a "poverty eclipse" ✨️🌑🫠
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apology amatti @kbandersonyo.bsky.social · 28/08/2026
In the song "Ride Wit Me" (2001), Nelly states that she "can be eighteen with a attitude, or nineteen, kinda snotty, actin' real rude" which I believe demonstrates quite a bit of range in his personal taste
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apology amatti @kbandersonyo.bsky.social · 27/08/2026
It's so goddamn hot and humid in LA my phone keeps randomly opening apps on its own because it thinks my sweaty pain is fingers
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apology amatti @kbandersonyo.bsky.social · 26/08/2026
Back in the day, "LL Cool J" meant "Ladies Love Cool James" nowadays, they get brunch
License plate that reads "LL3 F4G"
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apology amatti @kbandersonyo.bsky.social · 26/08/2026
I feel like every alpha male post i see these days is just like "why r u, as a man, enjoying ur life a little bit???"
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apology amatti @kbandersonyo.bsky.social · 26/08/2026
in a world dominated by those who lol and lmao, we must always look to those who are still brave enough to rofl
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apology amatti @kbandersonyo.bsky.social · 15/07/2026
I hope we extend beyond simply making AI flyers for comedy shows one day. I can envision an entire show of AI performers, doing AI jokes for an AI audience in an AI venue somewhere deep within the circuitry of a massive datacenter that just displaced an entire town of people who used to have jobs.
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apology amatti @kbandersonyo.bsky.social · 03/08/2026
Colin Kaepernick to begin rap career under alias "Kneel da Grass Hype-man"
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apology amatti @kbandersonyo.bsky.social · 28/07/2026
We Bought A Zoo In Four Easy Interest Free Payments with Klarna
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apology amatti @kbandersonyo.bsky.social · 25/08/2026
Thanks for the auto-response suggestion, Samsung! I havent met this girl in person yet and now I look SO NORMAL
A text thread starting with a giant colorful GIF that says "LOVE YOU"

followed by me flailing:

"OMG that was an auto response AHHHHH fuck you Samsung I WAS GONNA TYPE I HATE THIS CUSTOMER whyyyy"
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apology amatti @kbandersonyo.bsky.social · 22/08/2026
Between Elon Musk and Reggie Watts, ketamine's PR department is gonna need to hire some seriously Glengarry Glen Ross motherfuckers to stay relevant in the mental health treatment game
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apology amatti @kbandersonyo.bsky.social · 17/08/2026
The doctor's a woman, Lee Cronin's the mummy
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apology amatti @kbandersonyo.bsky.social · 14/08/2026
Drag name: Lisa Newford Today
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apology amatti @kbandersonyo.bsky.social · 13/08/2026
is there anything on EARTH that is MORE infuriating than trying to find the loose end of a roll of scotch tape that decided to adhere to itself? (other than like, war)
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apology amatti @kbandersonyo.bsky.social · 13/08/2026
The fun thing about dramatically improving your mental health is that people stop texting you back when you aren't only wallowing with them WHAT YOU THINK YOU'RE BETTER THAN ME BECAUSE YOU'RE TRYING????
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apology amatti @kbandersonyo.bsky.social · 12/08/2026
Just saw Mike Myers and Seth Green doing an Austin Powers bit for a Verizon ad in 2026, in case anyone was tracking the significant events in the cosmos that are pointing to a full collapse of society
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apology amatti @kbandersonyo.bsky.social · 11/08/2026
Guy behind in line at the the post office on his phone: "Oh my god, did you guys see the new Trump thing" Me: "i cant really engage with the day to day anymore. Just waiting for the "he's d*ad" headline Guy: "...oh. hm. I get that" I think I just broke the doomscrolling cycle for a stranger
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Ken Johnson @stepfordhusband.bsky.social · 10/08/2026
Mexican Italian Fusion Restaurant, call that Little Chonies
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apology amatti @kbandersonyo.bsky.social · 05/08/2026
from this day forward I will only be referring to Frank Oz as "Frank Ounce"
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apology amatti @kbandersonyo.bsky.social · 03/08/2026
Colin Kaepernick to begin rap career under alias "Kneel da Grass Hype-man"
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apology amatti @kbandersonyo.bsky.social · 28/07/2026
We Bought A Zoo In Four Easy Interest Free Payments with Klarna
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Opinion Editor @ Bluesky @dly.bsky.social · 26/07/2026
oh yeah well could a depressed person do this? *restarts Bojack Horseman from the top*
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apology amatti @kbandersonyo.bsky.social · 26/07/2026
The cool thing about being poor in LA in the summer is when you preheat your oven to cook something you immediately die
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apology amatti @kbandersonyo.bsky.social · 25/07/2026
🎵"I before E, except after sea, I didn't land here, you landed on me!"🎵 -Plymouth Schoolhouse Rock
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apology amatti @kbandersonyo.bsky.social · 15/07/2026
I hope we extend beyond simply making AI flyers for comedy shows one day. I can envision an entire show of AI performers, doing AI jokes for an AI audience in an AI venue somewhere deep within the circuitry of a massive datacenter that just displaced an entire town of people who used to have jobs.
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apology amatti @kbandersonyo.bsky.social · 14/07/2026
Cooking and drinking means sometimes you almost pour yourself a shot of olive oil and you know what? That's okay because it's an almost
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apology amatti @kbandersonyo.bsky.social · 13/07/2026
Luckily for Graham, Hell is FULL of men. Like, every 1 out of 2 men who have ever died are surely there. A real goddamn sausage party. Have at it, bro!
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apology amatti @kbandersonyo.bsky.social · 12/07/2026
Anyone who celebrates death is DISGUSTING when the person who died is someone I fully supported politically and philosophically otherwise celebrating death is FINE actually
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apology amatti @kbandersonyo.bsky.social · 12/07/2026
Walking back from the gas station with a fresh pack of smokes and a Gatorade, and suddenly, lo and behold, a shooting star passes my gaze, my Crocs feel lighter and less sweaty, and I find $10 on the ground 'Twas the way the universe let me know that Lindsey Graham has died and gone to hell ❤️🙏
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apology amatti @kbandersonyo.bsky.social · 12/07/2026
I, for one, think it's a sign of a good economic system that every single major company in America has multiple class action lawsuits aimed at it at all times
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apology amatti @kbandersonyo.bsky.social · 08/07/2026
today's nightmares were an interesting combination of getting my fingernails ripped off and trying to grab the last Lil' Caesars Hot N Ready pizza Interpret that shit
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The Goods from the Woods Podcast @thegoodspod.bsky.social · 05/07/2026
TODAY ON THE PODCAST! Keith Carey, @kbandersonyo.bsky.social, and Kyle Clark are back for another spin in the time machine. This time we’re going back to 1996! In part one, Jimmy Buffett gets shot up by Jamaicans, KISS meets 2pac, and Bill Clinton ruins everything! Listen now! Lynx-N-Reply
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apology amatti @kbandersonyo.bsky.social · 01/07/2026
Do u guys remember when the IDF briefly made family movies in the 90's
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apology amatti @kbandersonyo.bsky.social · 30/06/2026
Has Tony Hinchcliffe died from being too red yet
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apology amatti @kbandersonyo.bsky.social · 27/06/2026
Smokin that shit that made Jason bait men
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