Sign in

Kate Johnson

@k8johnsonauthor.bsky.social
731 followers 225 following 1.5K posts

Writes books. Loves cats. Talks about both a lot. Represented by Judith Murray at Greene & Heaton

PostsRepliesMedia
Kate Johnson @k8johnsonauthor.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
So long as they stay in the country and not inside my house.
010
Kate Johnson @k8johnsonauthor.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
Told my dad about the false widow. “Are they poisonous?” No, no. Don’t be silly. Of course it isn’t poisonous. It is venomous, though.
110
Kate Johnson @k8johnsonauthor.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
Unrelated: Tom just came in with what looks like half a spider leg on his fur. Good Tom. Good cat.
010
Kate Johnson @k8johnsonauthor.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
Well. I won’t share a photo of it, but I’m pretty sure the spider that just ran across my knee and then got yeeted into my (empty) cereal bowl was a false widow.
110
Kate Johnson @k8johnsonauthor.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
Suspect this is Tom’s version of checking his eyelids for holes
Tomkin is a black-and-white cat wearing a red collar. He is sprawled across my lap with his head resting on my leg. His eyes are closed and his mouth is slightly open. 
I am wearing a pink T-shirt and brown joggers. There is a fake fur blanket on the left, and a crowded coffee table in the background 
140
Reposted by Kate Johnson
Selena Illyria @selenaillyria.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
Hex Appeal by @k8johnsonauthor.bsky.social As Josh is drawn further into the lives of the inhabitants of Beldam House, Essie is determined to keep him at broomstick’s length. #ParanormalRomance #Romancelandia #BookSky Buy: www.barnesandnoble.com/w/hex-appeal...
barnesandnoble.com
Hex Appeal (Best Hex Ever Collection, Book 1)
Barnes & Noble’s online bookstore for books, NOOK ebooks & magazines. Shop music, movies, toys & games, too. Receive free shipping with your Barnes & Noble Membership.
051
Kate Johnson @k8johnsonauthor.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
Sadness. I finished @tkingfisher.com’s Daggerbound and now I don’t want to read anything else because it won’t be as good.
070
Kate Johnson @k8johnsonauthor.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Someone closed a door and it was very scary.
100
Kate Johnson @k8johnsonauthor.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
When you’ve left a two inch scratch on your mum’s knee, but you’re so stinking cute she doesn’t really mind.
Tomkin is a black and white cat looking up at the camera with huge eyes like the cat from Shrek. I have one hand chucking him under the chin. Behind his head is my leg, which is very white, and has a large scratch across the knee.
120
Kate Johnson @k8johnsonauthor.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
Me: why are people staring at me today? My t-shirt:
A pale pink tshirt with a pale blue neckline. There is a floral design which very slightly obscures the words I’M A RAY OF FUCKING SUNSHINE.
020
Kate Johnson @k8johnsonauthor.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
#strictly Craig just criticised someone’s topline and I was like
Image of Taylor Swift with the line “stop talking dirty to me”
010
Kate Johnson @k8johnsonauthor.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
BBC should’ve got a few quid for the Doctor Who fund from #BakeOff
020
Kate Johnson @k8johnsonauthor.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
Eventually, anything can be a double Nintendo.
010
Kate Johnson @k8johnsonauthor.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
Let me tell you about this miracle new drug called Thalidomide
140
Kate Johnson @k8johnsonauthor.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
You know when your brain can’t decide between two words so it tries to say both at the same time? This is why I just referred to something as a “double Nintendo.”
130
Kate Johnson @k8johnsonauthor.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
Or even Melanie Walters. Who needs real names, eh?
110
Kate Johnson @k8johnsonauthor.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
What’s the odds on Gwen West dancing to Stacey’s Mom at some point in the next few weeks? Evens? 1/10? #Strictly
131
Kate Johnson @k8johnsonauthor.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
“Stamp” you say? I’m not sure about all this newfangled technology.
100
Reposted by Kate Johnson
Nick Harkaway @nickharkaway.com · 19/09/2026
They are built for a mission which is definitionally impossible. You cannot beat the sea. This Earth should be called Ocean and the water is the most powerful thing on it. But these folks volunteer to go out there and fight it anyway because humans should take care of humans.
562762
Kate Johnson @k8johnsonauthor.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
…a reference number but I can’t find where to look that up. Thing is they installed a new pole opposite the house about a year ago (with no notice). It’s like 20ft away. Are they moving it? Will they dig up the pavement/roses/drive/front steps? How do I find out?
100
Kate Johnson @k8johnsonauthor.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
So Openreach have put up a notice that they intend to install a new pole outside my house, with a link to object but very little info on what to object to. The What3Words link is the corner of my house/driveway/garden/pavement we literally had resurfaced (at private expense) last month. There’s…
Notice taped to a lamppost that has my location redacted and a QR code to object, and the rest of it is empty filler words. You’re not missing anything.
100
Kate Johnson @k8johnsonauthor.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
It’s like my dad fretting about the water bill whilst ignoring me saying “the kitchen floor is squelching” but on a national scale.
010
Kate Johnson @k8johnsonauthor.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
EXACTLY this
010
Kate Johnson @k8johnsonauthor.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
Apparently it’s easier to make us feel guilty for trying to stop our gardens spontaneously combusting.
100
Kate Johnson @k8johnsonauthor.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
It’s frankly insulting that they think we’re dumb enough to believe not using a hosepipe is going to compensate for a data centre.
120
Kate Johnson @k8johnsonauthor.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
Yeah they might not work as well for you. TBH I’d like to find something better but they’re all so bulky, the batteries need constantly recharging and they charge a subscription. Sigh.
100
Kate Johnson @k8johnsonauthor.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
*shorter how? I only spend the time I need to in the shower. Are you all out there just hanging out under the hot spray reading fucking War & Peace or something?
120
Kate Johnson @k8johnsonauthor.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
…fuck-all about water companies leaking like the Titanic I am going to SCREAM.
static.klipy.com
Agnes Demille: Classic Emotional Manipulation
Alt: Agnes Demille: Classic Emotional Manipulation technique
110
Kate Johnson @k8johnsonauthor.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
If I have to see that “let’s save water!” ad using children to emotionally manipulate me to take shorter showers* in order to save the environment that is being burnt to a fucking crisp by a government wringing its hands over climate change, building data centres, championing AI and doing…
240
Kate Johnson @k8johnsonauthor.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
Mine have AirTags which fit in little holsters on their collars. Depending on your phone you can track them very closely… but only in urban areas because they rely on other iPhones etc for signal. Tom has lost one in a field somewhere. But the batteries last like a year.
110
Kate Johnson @k8johnsonauthor.bsky.social · 14/09/2026
…the RNLI might conceivably have needed to help me was if I’d fallen off the Padstow ferry after too much Doom Bar at lunch, which also never happened. The falling, that is. The Doom Bar definitely happened)
000
Kate Johnson @k8johnsonauthor.bsky.social · 14/09/2026
I think at one time there might have been a tow-haired plot moppet involved, and that’s when I knew I had to stop fantasising and get out of bed. I’m actually embarrassingly scared of the sea considering I’m a Pisces. The only time…
100
Kate Johnson @k8johnsonauthor.bsky.social · 14/09/2026
(As I lounged in bed this morning I idly considered making up a story for all the haters about how the RNLI saved my life once. I, a blonde blue-eyed person so white it hurts your eyes, would look them down from my lofty Aryan height and inform them that to hate the RNLI was to hate white people.
100
Kate Johnson @k8johnsonauthor.bsky.social · 14/09/2026
Alas, I cannot wear this in my village today. Cos it’s too fucking hot and muggy. But as soon as the weather turns less sweaty, Trixie & I will be cycling past all those embarrassingly tatty engurland flags, proudly boasting the RNLI logo.
A blue hoodie spread out on a brown chair. The hoodie has the RNLI log in big red letters. There is also a black rectangular pouch with the RNLI logo on it, which contains a rain poncho.
110
Kate Johnson @k8johnsonauthor.bsky.social · 12/09/2026
Baba Gaga. Come on.
010
Kate Johnson @k8johnsonauthor.bsky.social · 10/09/2026
So now of course it will sit forgotten on a heap of other stuff in my office until it gets to December where upon I will either forget where I put it or forget that it exists entirely (see above re-ADHD object permanence).
010
Kate Johnson @k8johnsonauthor.bsky.social · 10/09/2026
Don’t want to alarm anyone, but I’ve bought my first Christmas present. It was completely perfect for the recipient, and I knew if I left it and came back later it would’ve either sold out, or I’d completely forget about it (ADHD object permanence FTW).
120
Kate Johnson @k8johnsonauthor.bsky.social · 08/09/2026
Brb just disinfecting my hand until it bleeds
020
Kate Johnson @k8johnsonauthor.bsky.social · 08/09/2026
No we fucking don’t
A letter with a massive letterhead for the hard of thinking that says “Essex wants reform” followed by a load of written sewage I will save you from reading.
220
Kate Johnson @k8johnsonauthor.bsky.social · 08/09/2026
You are not alone in this
120
Kate Johnson @k8johnsonauthor.bsky.social · 06/09/2026
Picked up ring doughnuts instead of jam ones. This’ll have to do.
A ring doughnut with jam blobbed all over the top of it. Behind it is a jar of strawberry jam (raspberry would’ve been better tbh)
111
Kate Johnson @k8johnsonauthor.bsky.social · 04/09/2026
Well I was going to do some sewing and then buy something for my bike and then draw and then the Boudicca book or the mermaid book or the Katherine Howard book or the…
110
Kate Johnson @k8johnsonauthor.bsky.social · 04/09/2026
Hah! I celebrated by making a cheese toastie and then realising nobody* had put cheese on the shopping list *me
020
Kate Johnson @k8johnsonauthor.bsky.social · 04/09/2026
Combined ADHD! (That means it’s both hyperactive and inattentive. Hey look a squirrel)
static.klipy.com
Rainbow Spongebob
Alt: Rainbow Spongebob saying ADHD
240
Kate Johnson @k8johnsonauthor.bsky.social · 04/09/2026
Well, after my second assessment, I have a diagnosis. I thought I’d have to wait for the report, but apparently it was so clear she could tell me there and then. It’s… (drumroll, wheel the massive cake in, get the glitter cannon ready)…
140
Kate Johnson @k8johnsonauthor.bsky.social · 31/08/2026
It probably didn’t last that long here. Unfortunately neither did my bike ride.
100
Kate Johnson @k8johnsonauthor.bsky.social · 31/08/2026
Me: I’ll just cycle home now The weather:
A very wet rain soaked patio
140
Reposted by Kate Johnson
Jeevani Charika / Rhoda Baxter @jeevanicharika.bsky.social · 29/08/2026
'Warm, charming, with an utterly adorkable hero – this really was irresistible!' Kate Johnson, author of Hex Appeal Office romance Sea side Melting Mr Grumpy Fish and chips (beware the seagulls) books2read.com/ResistU
022
Kate Johnson @k8johnsonauthor.bsky.social · 26/08/2026
I’m sorry, but we’re going to need to have a word with the Reaper about which 80-year-olds they’re taking.
130
Kate Johnson @k8johnsonauthor.bsky.social · 26/08/2026
Guess who just fixed the garage door that has been broken for decades? One key, one cord, a lot of WD-40 and about ten minutes of work. Am basically super hero now.
static.klipy.com
I Can Fix It! Cute Devon Rex Cat Computer Repair
Alt: I Can Fix It! Cute Devon Rex Cat Computer Repair
130