Kate Johnson @k8johnsonauthor.bsky.social · 29/09/2026When you’ve left a two inch scratch on your mum’s knee, but you’re so stinking cute she doesn’t really mind. 120
Kate Johnson @k8johnsonauthor.bsky.social · 28/09/2026Me: why are people staring at me today? My t-shirt: 020
Kate Johnson @k8johnsonauthor.bsky.social · 26/09/2026#strictly Craig just criticised someone’s topline and I was like 010
Kate Johnson @k8johnsonauthor.bsky.social · 22/09/2026BBC should’ve got a few quid for the Doctor Who fund from #BakeOff 020
Kate Johnson @k8johnsonauthor.bsky.social · 22/09/2026You know when your brain can’t decide between two words so it tries to say both at the same time? This is why I just referred to something as a “double Nintendo.” 130
Kate Johnson @k8johnsonauthor.bsky.social · 19/09/2026What’s the odds on Gwen West dancing to Stacey’s Mom at some point in the next few weeks? Evens? 1/10? #Strictly 131
Reposted by Kate JohnsonNick Harkaway @nickharkaway.com · 19/09/2026They are built for a mission which is definitionally impossible. You cannot beat the sea. This Earth should be called Ocean and the water is the most powerful thing on it. But these folks volunteer to go out there and fight it anyway because humans should take care of humans. 562662
Kate Johnson @k8johnsonauthor.bsky.social · 19/09/2026So Openreach have put up a notice that they intend to install a new pole outside my house, with a link to object but very little info on what to object to. The What3Words link is the corner of my house/driveway/garden/pavement we literally had resurfaced (at private expense) last month. There’s… 100
Kate Johnson @k8johnsonauthor.bsky.social · 15/09/2026If I have to see that “let’s save water!” ad using children to emotionally manipulate me to take shorter showers* in order to save the environment that is being burnt to a fucking crisp by a government wringing its hands over climate change, building data centres, championing AI and doing… 240
Kate Johnson @k8johnsonauthor.bsky.social · 14/09/2026Alas, I cannot wear this in my village today. Cos it’s too fucking hot and muggy. But as soon as the weather turns less sweaty, Trixie & I will be cycling past all those embarrassingly tatty engurland flags, proudly boasting the RNLI logo. 110
Kate Johnson @k8johnsonauthor.bsky.social · 10/09/2026Don’t want to alarm anyone, but I’ve bought my first Christmas present. It was completely perfect for the recipient, and I knew if I left it and came back later it would’ve either sold out, or I’d completely forget about it (ADHD object permanence FTW). 120
Kate Johnson @k8johnsonauthor.bsky.social · 06/09/2026Picked up ring doughnuts instead of jam ones. This’ll have to do. 111
Kate Johnson @k8johnsonauthor.bsky.social · 04/09/2026Well, after my second assessment, I have a diagnosis. I thought I’d have to wait for the report, but apparently it was so clear she could tell me there and then. It’s… (drumroll, wheel the massive cake in, get the glitter cannon ready)… 140
Reposted by Kate JohnsonJeevani Charika / Rhoda Baxter @jeevanicharika.bsky.social · 29/08/2026'Warm, charming, with an utterly adorkable hero – this really was irresistible!' Kate Johnson, author of Hex Appeal Office romance Sea side Melting Mr Grumpy Fish and chips (beware the seagulls) books2read.com/ResistU 022
Kate Johnson @k8johnsonauthor.bsky.social · 26/08/2026I’m sorry, but we’re going to need to have a word with the Reaper about which 80-year-olds they’re taking. 130
Kate Johnson @k8johnsonauthor.bsky.social · 26/08/2026Guess who just fixed the garage door that has been broken for decades? One key, one cord, a lot of WD-40 and about ten minutes of work. Am basically super hero now.static.klipy.comI Can Fix It! Cute Devon Rex Cat Computer RepairAlt: I Can Fix It! Cute Devon Rex Cat Computer Repair 130
Kate Johnson @k8johnsonauthor.bsky.social · 16/08/2026OH MY GOD THERE IS WATER COMING OUT OF THE SKY WHAT IS THIS 101
Kate Johnson @k8johnsonauthor.bsky.social · 16/08/2026Slightly cooler weather is great, but less so when someone* keeps wandering across the control panel , turning on the AC while the window is closed, thereby filling the room with hot air. *Tom. Tom is someone. 130
Kate Johnson @k8johnsonauthor.bsky.social · 15/08/2026Call me crazy, but I don’t think Evri tried very hard to deliver my parcel. 020
Kate Johnson @k8johnsonauthor.bsky.social · 14/08/2026Well this is fucking alarming when you have headphones on 240
Kate Johnson @k8johnsonauthor.bsky.social · 10/08/2026At the Minor Injuries unit (my foot is being very tiresome). Cannot stop being fascinated by the other patients who have no visible injury. Imagining all sorts of terribly embarrassing conditions for them. 130
Kate Johnson @k8johnsonauthor.bsky.social · 05/08/2026Wait, I just realised it’s NEW TED LASSO DAYstatic.klipy.comTed Lasso Roy KentAlt: Ted Lasso Roy Kent says well FUCK! 010
Kate Johnson @k8johnsonauthor.bsky.social · 29/07/2026I would like to lodge a formal complaint about the heat.static.klipy.comBarbie Doll On FireAlt: Barbie Doll On Fire 200
Kate Johnson @k8johnsonauthor.bsky.social · 27/07/2026Me: I should change the bedlinen Tom: I HELP 2233
Kate Johnson @k8johnsonauthor.bsky.social · 24/07/2026Train selfie! On the way to see @janjonesauthor.bsky.social and Nikita Kuzman* *might actually only be meeting up with one of them 140
Kate Johnson @k8johnsonauthor.bsky.social · 24/07/2026Me: it’s hot and I’m going out this evening, I’ll put on a nice summer dress. It’s pale coloured because of the heat. Tom: 030
Kate Johnson @k8johnsonauthor.bsky.social · 23/07/2026Filling out ADHD & ASD assessment forms. It’s taken days cos I’ve kept overthinking it and getting distracted which… I’m sure isn’t an indicator of anything.static.klipy.comOverthinking My OverthinkingALT: Overthinking My Overthinking 120
Kate Johnson @k8johnsonauthor.bsky.social · 13/07/2026Emails from HMRC calling me “Dear customer”. Well, I suppose I do give them money, but this implies I have a choice in the matter. 020
Kate Johnson @k8johnsonauthor.bsky.social · 12/07/2026Me: should I wash the cats’ water bowl? Tomkin: 040
Kate Johnson @k8johnsonauthor.bsky.social · 02/07/2026Things you don’t expect Clare Balding to say: “and on Court 3, Flavio Cobolli, we hope he hasn’t either hit or eaten his father…” #wimbledon 120
Kate Johnson @k8johnsonauthor.bsky.social · 01/07/2026Cries of “oh no, what are you doing??” coming from a) my dad, watching the football and b) me, watching Tom bring in a dead rabbit 140
Kate Johnson @k8johnsonauthor.bsky.social · 30/06/2026Second day of Wimbledon and already the fans shouting ”let’s go [player] let’s go” are getting right on my tits. It’s not even personalised. Just “insert name here” like a spam email. It’s no “he’s here, he’s there, he’s every fucking where, Roy Kent, Roy Kent!” is it?static.klipy.comRoy Kent (Ted Lasso) - Why Won't You Let Me Be Happy?Alt: Roy Kent (Ted Lasso) - Why Won't You Let Me Be Happy? 010
Kate Johnson @k8johnsonauthor.bsky.social · 29/06/2026Well, turns out my gimpy foot is plantar fasciitis. Quite relieved it’s that and not anything more sinister! Apparently it is caused by my having very tight calves and also hormones, or more to the point a lack of them. Perimenopause: is there nothing it can’t do? 130
Kate Johnson @k8johnsonauthor.bsky.social · 11/06/2026After a bone dry April and May when I ran out of rainwater and had to give them the condensate from the air conditioner, I put my carnivores outside to enjoy the June rain. By this point I’m getting slightly concerned that even for bog plants, they’re a bit… wet. 250
Kate Johnson @k8johnsonauthor.bsky.social · 10/06/2026Train selfie on my way to meet @rflong.bsky.social for lunch & do publishing stuff. It is June in England, so I have sunglasses, cardigan, sun cream, and an umbrella. 250
Kate Johnson @k8johnsonauthor.bsky.social · 07/06/2026I had a dream I had some kittens and I kept forgetting the name of one of them, so I called her Sarah Marshall and I am very pleased with my subconscious for this joke.static.klipy.comKristen Bell says 'Noice!' in The Good PlaceAlt: Kristen Bell says 'Noice!' in The Good Place (because weirdly she wasn’t in any of the Forgetting Sarah Marshall gifs) 010
Reposted by Kate JohnsonWh*donesque @whedonesque.bsky.social · 05/06/2026Seeing Giles on screen was a source of great comfort for Buffy fans who were going through such painful things in their life. Tony Head was an incredibly talented actor and loved dearly in the fandom and we will miss him so much. Our thoughts are with his family and frends. 411931
Kate Johnson @k8johnsonauthor.bsky.social · 05/06/2026Noooo! Not Giles! www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...bbc.co.ukAnthony Head: Buffy and Ted Lasso actor dies at 72The British actor, who also appeared in Merlin and Little Britain, died of complications from pneumonia. 010
Kate Johnson @k8johnsonauthor.bsky.social · 04/06/2026Got a new phone. In lieu of a new book cover to put on it, I’ve added some stickers, for the month that’s in it. 050
Kate Johnson @k8johnsonauthor.bsky.social · 02/06/2026Well my phone certainly thinks the weather is being more dramatic than it is 110
Kate Johnson @k8johnsonauthor.bsky.social · 29/05/2026Me: searches Etsy for jewellery, fabric, Pride wristbands, niche geekery, cute phone cases. Etsy: 310
Kate Johnson @k8johnsonauthor.bsky.social · 28/05/2026Well, I’m afraid I have some bad news for fans of The Promised Queen. Following poor sales the publisher has decided not to take any sequels from me. I’m obviously very disappointed about this, as I’d hoped for better news. 410
Kate Johnson @k8johnsonauthor.bsky.social · 27/05/2026Tomkin has noticed my legs have neither a thick fur coat, as a cat should have, or even the weird human coverings we use instead. Now he is worried I am cold so he has come to warm me up. What a good cat. 140