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Justine

@justine.cool
75 followers 67 following 164 posts

Mistress of none. Unwellness expert. Etymology fangirl. Ⓥ for the animals. You may know me as @ctrlaltjustine

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Justine @justine.cool · 26/08/2026
In a world where you can be like anyone, be like Dolly. Be kind. Be generous. Donate to the Imagination Library. tribute.imaginationlibrary.com
Black and white portrait of Dolly Parton in 1975 with her usual big hair and bright smile.
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Justine @justine.cool · 25/08/2026
And I will always love you. 💔
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Justine @justine.cool · 23/08/2026
Don’t you want a home in Lakewood? Back porch with a lakeside view. He’s cute, but he doesn’t like Cleveland No house, no dog in the yard. 🎶 youtu.be/BrsgKJllfzA
youtu.be
Squirrel Flower - Cleveland [OFFICIAL MUSIC VIDEO]
YouTube video by Squirrel Flower
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Justine @justine.cool · 14/08/2026
Fairly sure "seasonal ingredients" is just the hospitality industry's way of saying "whatever the fuck Metro had on sale".
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Justine @justine.cool · 09/08/2026
Hall and Oates auf die Eins
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Justine @justine.cool · 01/08/2026
Moving is a special kind of hell. Especially when you leave so many tiny things to the last minute. 🙃
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Justine @justine.cool · 24/07/2026
One thing about me is I'm *always* going to take your survey.
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Justine @justine.cool · 01/07/2026
Fuck mayonnaise.
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Justine @justine.cool · 28/03/2026
I’m really going to miss 18:30 sunset time 😭
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Justine @justine.cool · 27/03/2026
When people want to die on that hill that "cows don't need to have been pregnant to produce milk"
Screenshot of a comment by Tiktok content creator 'itsme.katevee' regarding the possibility of cows on a small farm producing milk without having been pregnant.

The tweet read:
"Call the pope or something because that's a miracle incompatible with biological reality"
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Justine @justine.cool · 17/03/2026
Sneezing and coughing post appendectomy is a fresh kind of hell.
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Justine @justine.cool · 25/11/2025
Today marks 15 years of veganism for me. Not exactly sure how to celebrate, but I feel good about it.
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Justine @justine.cool · 21/11/2025
There are so many quiet, respectful older women who live in my building, but somehow I share a wall with a stoner with a subwoofer from hell.
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Justine @justine.cool · 13/11/2025
4 ways to mind your business.
Screenshot of a NYTimes article.
Title: 4 Ways to Cut Back on Salt
Subheader: About 90 percent of Americans eat too much. We asked experts how to consume less.
Article image: A salt shaker filled with a brown, unknown granulated substance (presumably a salt replacement) on top of a mound of salt.
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Justine @justine.cool · 09/11/2025
Haven’t spoken out loud since Thursday and only came to that realization after I started talking to myself at home just now.
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Justine @justine.cool · 05/11/2025
Happy November y’all 🌊
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Justine @justine.cool · 21/10/2025
This RadioShack phone was the last phone I ever loved.
Clear house phone with a neon light at the bottom in a blue hue.
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Justine @justine.cool · 17/10/2025
I want a group chat where when you’re crying, for whatever reason, you can message 🚨, and people in the chat reply with happy things.
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Justine @justine.cool · 02/10/2025
"Berlin is a vegan paradise!" The food in Berlin:
Two shots with screen dialogue of a scene in the film Devil Wears Prada with Meryl Streep, where her character originally says, "Florals? For Spring? Groundbreaking." photoshopped to now say, "Vietnamese food? In Berlin?"
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Justine @justine.cool · 30/09/2025
Happy Spooky Lake Month to all who celebrate!
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Justine @justine.cool · 26/09/2025
Don’t forget to leave out a bottle of Tylenol for Autism Santa tonight.
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Justine @justine.cool · 24/09/2025
Plenty of things between the different dialects of English where vocabulary can be misconstrued, but a couple personal favorites are: 🇬🇧 scheme: plan 🇺🇸 scheme: evil plan 🇬🇧 homely: cute/cozy (US: homey) 🇺🇸 homely: ugly/plain
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Justine @justine.cool · 22/09/2025
The longest Monday in the history of Mondays is finally at an end.
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Justine @justine.cool · 22/09/2025
Herbstlichen Glückwunsch! 🍁🍂
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Justine @justine.cool · 11/09/2025
Me when there’s no broccoli in the fridge
media.tenor.com
a man with a mustache is sitting on a swing in the park .
ALT: a man with a mustache is sitting on a swing in the park .
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Justine @justine.cool · 09/09/2025
When my friends say they’re too cool for tiktok—you’re only hurting yourself babe. I’ve got two old ladies dancing to the spice girls and I could’ve sent that to you saying “us”.
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Justine @justine.cool · 09/09/2025
The emotional roller coaster of finding out that Mac DeMarco is on tour, playing in Berlin in November, and the tickets are sold out. 😭
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Justine @justine.cool · 06/09/2025
I've always imagined the 'straw' that broke the camel's back to be the kind you sip from.
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Justine @justine.cool · 05/09/2025
Every year I cross my fingers that Stendig will release an all black version, and every year I am disappointed.
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Justine @justine.cool · 04/09/2025
You can always tell when a product team is getting restless. Changes that don’t improve the experience at all but were made nevertheless.
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Justine @justine.cool · 04/09/2025
An old lady just laughed at me on the street. To be fair my face is like pink-pink and I’m covered in sweat.
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Justine @justine.cool · 03/09/2025
I don't think Spotify knows that Grizzly Bear has many more (and better) songs than 'Two Weeks'.
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Justine @justine.cool · 01/09/2025
German food-language logic: Nothing is "Brot", but everything is "Kuchen".
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Justine @justine.cool · 31/08/2025
September?? Excuse me?!
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Justine @justine.cool · 30/08/2025
I'd rather be eating at Nando's than figuring out everything that should get done this week. 😔
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Justine @justine.cool · 22/08/2025
Had a blast eavesdropping on english folks talking about the US tonight. Truly a great pastime.
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Justine @justine.cool · 19/08/2025
Ludo, my suitcase, has now seen more of London than I ever have. Been watching him all day on Find My cross all parts of this city.
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Justine @justine.cool · 13/08/2025
Losing my mind over referring to ai fuckwits as “botlickers” Easily the funniest thing I’ve heard in a while. I’m keeping that one
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Justine @justine.cool · 11/08/2025
Chilaquiles are the solution.
Bowl of chilaquiles verdes and refried beans topped with salsa roja, onions, crema, and cilantro next to a knife and fork.
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Justine @justine.cool · 10/08/2025
I love when the tiktok algorithm is trying something new with me and I get a bodybuilder asking, “Are you having trouble putting on weight?”… No my dude. I have never once in my life struggled to put on weight. 😂
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Justine @justine.cool · 10/08/2025
Apparently the only way I’m consuming fruit this weekend is by blending it.
Purple smoothie in a short glass with a straw on a wooden table in front of a vase with partially blooming pink lilies.
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Justine @justine.cool · 09/08/2025
pov: you’re at my house for lunch
Three tacos on a plate on a table filled with vegan chorizo and potato topped with white onion and cilantro surrounded by containers of salsa verde, salsa roja, and limes.
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Justine @justine.cool · 09/08/2025
Trying to improve and convert all my mexican recipes. I don't need to feed a family of four throughout a week, so making recipes that serve one person for a couple of days is what I need.
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Justine @justine.cool · 08/08/2025
Home alone this weekend. The plan is to successfully* mix some semblance of getting my shit together and relaxing.
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Justine @justine.cool · 01/08/2025
Reaching the should I give myself bangs phase of this low mood week.
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Justine @justine.cool · 21/07/2025
OH at the pub: I don’t like to drink every day, but I do…
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Justine @justine.cool · 16/07/2025
Ate some tomatoes today that actually tasted like tomatoes. What a treat.
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Justine @justine.cool · 12/07/2025
What do people from your country call Americans? I'm compiling a list. So far, I have: 🇲🇽 Gringo 🇦🇺 Sepoo 🇩🇪 Amis
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Justine @justine.cool · 12/07/2025
I love I have friends who know how much I love slug weather and are happy for me when we get some. 🥰🌧️
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Justine @justine.cool · 11/07/2025
Productivity staying home on a Friday night: ✔️ Pre-travel checklist made ✔️ Got more house chores done than planned ✔️ Had a massive cry
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