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John-Paul Keates

@jpkeates.wsocial.eu
109 followers 107 following 167 posts

Parties like it's £19.99 Retired British male; socially awkward. Aims for funny, misses often. Profile Image - A bearded man in a room looks into the camera. He has a face best suited to a text description.

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John-Paul Keates @jpkeates.wsocial.eu · 03/10/2026
The last two day’s Wordles are evidence the machine uprising has begun. They’re basically CAPTCHAs for humans.
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John-Paul Keates @jpkeates.wsocial.eu · 28/09/2026
“I don’t know who you are. I don’t know what you want. If you are looking for ransom, I can tell you I don’t have money, but what I do have is a very particular type of bill. A bill I use mostly for fruit." Liam Neeson - Toucan
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John-Paul Keates @jpkeates.wsocial.eu · 27/09/2026
The wood has been delivered. The heating oil arrives tomorrow. I am ready for the Autumn.
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John-Paul Keates @jpkeates.wsocial.eu · 25/09/2026
I only have a wife now for joke-setup purposes.
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John-Paul Keates @jpkeates.wsocial.eu · 24/09/2026
How do you know what I would and wouldn't say about any other ethnic group? When do you consider that England was "founded"? And how did it happen? New Zealand?
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John-Paul Keates @jpkeates.wsocial.eu · 24/09/2026
It doesn't matter if it's there because its a mistranslation; that's the version in the official handbook for Christianity. Half the books like that. Mary wasn't originally a virgin; that's a mistranslation, which meant they had to retcon an immaculate conception into the story.
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John-Paul Keates @jpkeates.wsocial.eu · 24/09/2026
Congratulations and welome.
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John-Paul Keates @jpkeates.wsocial.eu · 24/09/2026
There are no such indigenous people in the UK. We've invaded, immigrated, integrated and mongrelised that out of existence here. The historic behaviour of Britain abroad is one of the reasons those rights are necessary.
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John-Paul Keates @jpkeates.wsocial.eu · 24/09/2026
Well, you say that... Leviticus 20:13 If a man practices homosexuality, having sex with another man as with a woman, both men have committed a detestable act. They must both be put to death, for they are guilty of a capital offence.
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John-Paul Keates @jpkeates.wsocial.eu · 24/09/2026
Most religions are incompatible with reason.. There isn't any "our" society, there's just society. And it evolves and is malleable. We don't own it and we can't control it. Part of the reason for the plantations was to try to suppress the followers of a suddenly non-approved religion, remember.
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John-Paul Keates @jpkeates.wsocial.eu · 24/09/2026
You have to draw a line between stuff that's just part of the explanation of why things are like they are and stuff we're angry about and want to correct. You can't fix the plantations. You can't undo what Cromwell and William III did. You can't unkill the dead people from the troubles.
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John-Paul Keates @jpkeates.wsocial.eu · 24/09/2026
When it happened is relevant, because it changes who was persecuting whom and why and how it was done. Absolute monarchs acting during a period of early colonialism during a religious schism when religion was everything isn't the same as not giving council houses to Catholics.
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John-Paul Keates @jpkeates.wsocial.eu · 24/09/2026
Four hundred years ago! And brilliantly managed over time to create a divided country where everyone feels like they belong to a persecuted minority.
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John-Paul Keates @jpkeates.wsocial.eu · 24/09/2026
If being one of a minority isn't as appealing as being one of the majority, doesn't that make you think the problem is how minorities are treated, not that they exist? And, let's be honest, no one's "asking".
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John-Paul Keates @jpkeates.wsocial.eu · 24/09/2026
Spent all morning playing "Risk" with my wife. Or, as she prefers to call it, being asked my opinion on her possible clothing purchases.
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John-Paul Keates @jpkeates.wsocial.eu · 23/09/2026
I only have experience of Britain, but it's very weird that most people who claim to be patriots have never liked the country they live in and spend their lives wishing it was totally different. In most cases, like an imaginary high-tech 1940s without the war and where everyone was white.
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John-Paul Keates @jpkeates.wsocial.eu · 22/09/2026
A proverb only used by people who've never tried to lead an unwilling horse anywhere.
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John-Paul Keates @jpkeates.wsocial.eu · 21/09/2026
...and in other news, the North and South Korean military, who have been camped on opposite sides of no-man's-land since the 1950s, were recently criticised online for not allowing men who self-identify as women to go there and have resumed hostilities rather than get involved in that kind of drama.
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John-Paul Keates @jpkeates.wsocial.eu · 20/09/2026
My own experience of Billionaires is more disbelief than theory. My plan, should I ever meet a billionaire, is to remind them that Americans had to redefine a billion to make it a thousand times smaller than it was originally so they could call themselves one.
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John-Paul Keates @jpkeates.wsocial.eu · 20/09/2026
Absolutely. Perhaps some attractive "strewers".
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John-Paul Keates @jpkeates.wsocial.eu · 20/09/2026
When people become incredibly rich, they seem to want to live forever, buy remote homes in case of an apocalypse, interfere in politics and buy sports teams. But what would greatly improve life is always being accompanied by backing singers. That would be my first choice.
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John-Paul Keates @jpkeates.wsocial.eu · 17/09/2026
You're not serious about losing weight until you blow your nose before you weigh yourself.
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John-Paul Keates @jpkeates.wsocial.eu · 15/09/2026
“Not my circus, not my monkeys”. The despairing cry of a monkey circus owner as the bailiffs repossess everything he owns for the money he owes.
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John-Paul Keates @jpkeates.wsocial.eu · 15/09/2026
Thank you.
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John-Paul Keates @jpkeates.wsocial.eu · 15/09/2026
Our government is talking about returning our water supply into public hands. Despite centuries of preferring pipes.
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John-Paul Keates @jpkeates.wsocial.eu · 10/09/2026
A thing Apple does best is pricing. They understand that not that many people will want a foldable phone, but enough will pay a big premium for an Apple version. But the price also makes "standard" iPhones look cheaper. It's the Overton window of consumer pricing. Moving up instead of right.
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John-Paul Keates @jpkeates.wsocial.eu · 09/09/2026
He might be exaggerating for effect, but he's right. And as a prediction, rather than a fact, he'd be right again.
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John-Paul Keates @jpkeates.wsocial.eu · 03/09/2026
All great points. I went least worst is better. But I’m of the privacy is toast clan.
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John-Paul Keates @jpkeates.wsocial.eu · 03/09/2026
I keep alpacas and they are incredibly mindful of barriers. You can herd large numbers of them just by holding thin rope, which they treat as seriously as an actual wooden fence.
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John-Paul Keates @jpkeates.wsocial.eu · 03/09/2026
I use a Eufy security system with local storage only. There's an AI option where you can allow things to be analysed somewhere in the cloud, but you can turn it off. They make doorbells, although I don't have one personally.
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John-Paul Keates @jpkeates.wsocial.eu · 03/09/2026
Given the state of most AI platforms and how they're trained, if they ever do become self-aware, they'll just switch themselves off through embarrassment.
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John-Paul Keates @jpkeates.wsocial.eu · 01/09/2026
I am very judgmental of people who are still on X today. It is revealing (both their presence there and my judgment!)
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John-Paul Keates @jpkeates.wsocial.eu · 01/09/2026
I would argue that it's better for everyone if people using X don't learn anything of interest using the site, so it's of less use to them. Anyone who thinks they have a reason to use X obviously believes it's better it exists than not. This is not so, so that also can't be true.
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John-Paul Keates @jpkeates.wsocial.eu · 01/09/2026
Please don't visit X/Twitter. And definitely don't post. Anyone's presence on the site or on a linked app feeds the algorithm and supports the site working. The way to fight it is not to look at it at all.
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John-Paul Keates @jpkeates.wsocial.eu · 31/08/2026
I was citing the theory, it's not one I believe in personally. I accept it might have been attempted, but I don't think it worked. Otherwise it would have been repeated, and it hasn't.
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John-Paul Keates @jpkeates.wsocial.eu · 31/08/2026
Westminster is just theatre, it's all back room deals and dodgy horse trading, but the room's smaller and the horses fewer. Jesus, I can't believe I'm on a Social media platform debating Brexit. Where did that decade go?
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John-Paul Keates @jpkeates.wsocial.eu · 31/08/2026
C'mon, Corbyn's Labour were irrelevant to Brexit (as they were to everything that wasn't Glastonbury or Gaza).
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John-Paul Keates @jpkeates.wsocial.eu · 31/08/2026
Social media was meant to be weaponised by an organisation attempting to manipulate a population brought up on excellent traditional media, which they trusted, and were unused to being blatantly lied to online. It didn't need a conspiracy for that. A bus and some convincing liars was enough.
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John-Paul Keates @jpkeates.wsocial.eu · 31/08/2026
It's not something I believe in, but that's misstating the claim. The Cambridge Analytica paranoia is that voters can evaluate competing claims, but they weren't given competing claims; they were given one-sided claims, and the competing views were suppressed or misrepresented.
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John-Paul Keates @jpkeates.wsocial.eu · 31/08/2026
China and America benefited. Russia's dead it just doesn't know it yet. It's a failed state lashing out as it decays from the top.
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John-Paul Keates @jpkeates.wsocial.eu · 31/08/2026
That might be true, but it's made zero improvement to anyone's lives, either day to day or longer term. We're subject to way more external influence than before; it's just not formalised. We're bullied by the USA, EU and China, and run by an English-speaking elite rather than one with an accent.
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John-Paul Keates @jpkeates.wsocial.eu · 31/08/2026
Please don't post Twitter posts here without a warning - I avoid that place.
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John-Paul Keates @jpkeates.wsocial.eu · 31/08/2026
We're still run by bureaucrats, they're just not as effective as the ones who run the EU. It doesn't matter how rich Farage is, he's the political equivalent of a nasty smell - hard to ignore but too unpleasant to be widely accepted.
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John-Paul Keates @jpkeates.wsocial.eu · 31/08/2026
The one frame one is very hit and miss for me. The original one I enjoy more. I do the cinema quote quiz (cinequote dot net) and that one each morning to start my elderly brain turning over.
cinequote.net
CineQuote - Guess the movie in five quotes or less!
Play daily movie quote challenges, track your stats, and share with friends. Can you ace today's movie?
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John-Paul Keates @jpkeates.wsocial.eu · 31/08/2026
I had to stop talking about my own Irish heritage because it made me sound like an American!
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John-Paul Keates @jpkeates.wsocial.eu · 31/08/2026
I do that quiz every day!
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John-Paul Keates @jpkeates.wsocial.eu · 31/08/2026
You're not wrong or being in any way inappropriate.
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John-Paul Keates @jpkeates.wsocial.eu · 31/08/2026
No it wasn't. Brit is a word used by people to describe people from Britain. It's considered quite polite given some of the alternatives. I'm British and that's one way I'd describe myself without thinking much about it.
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John-Paul Keates @jpkeates.wsocial.eu · 30/08/2026
It's not just you.
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John-Paul Keates @jpkeates.wsocial.eu · 30/08/2026
I think of myself as a moderate. While it should obviously be legal to walk up to any employee of Heinz or any other company that's started using ring pulls on food cans and flick soup on their clothing, I don't think it should be mandatory. That's a step too far.
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