John-Paul Keates @jpkeates.wsocial.eu · 28/09/2026“I don’t know who you are. I don’t know what you want. If you are looking for ransom, I can tell you I don’t have money, but what I do have is a very particular type of bill. A bill I use mostly for fruit." Liam Neeson - Toucan 140
John-Paul Keates @jpkeates.wsocial.eu · 27/09/2026The wood has been delivered. The heating oil arrives tomorrow. I am ready for the Autumn. 041
John-Paul Keates @jpkeates.wsocial.eu · 24/09/2026Spent all morning playing "Risk" with my wife. Or, as she prefers to call it, being asked my opinion on her possible clothing purchases. 381
John-Paul Keates @jpkeates.wsocial.eu · 23/09/2026I only have experience of Britain, but it's very weird that most people who claim to be patriots have never liked the country they live in and spend their lives wishing it was totally different. In most cases, like an imaginary high-tech 1940s without the war and where everyone was white. 260
John-Paul Keates @jpkeates.wsocial.eu · 21/09/2026...and in other news, the North and South Korean military, who have been camped on opposite sides of no-man's-land since the 1950s, were recently criticised online for not allowing men who self-identify as women to go there and have resumed hostilities rather than get involved in that kind of drama. 010
John-Paul Keates @jpkeates.wsocial.eu · 20/09/2026When people become incredibly rich, they seem to want to live forever, buy remote homes in case of an apocalypse, interfere in politics and buy sports teams. But what would greatly improve life is always being accompanied by backing singers. That would be my first choice. 1101
John-Paul Keates @jpkeates.wsocial.eu · 17/09/2026You're not serious about losing weight until you blow your nose before you weigh yourself. 361
John-Paul Keates @jpkeates.wsocial.eu · 15/09/2026“Not my circus, not my monkeys”. The despairing cry of a monkey circus owner as the bailiffs repossess everything he owns for the money he owes. 010
John-Paul Keates @jpkeates.wsocial.eu · 15/09/2026Our government is talking about returning our water supply into public hands. Despite centuries of preferring pipes. 292
John-Paul Keates @jpkeates.wsocial.eu · 10/09/2026A thing Apple does best is pricing. They understand that not that many people will want a foldable phone, but enough will pay a big premium for an Apple version. But the price also makes "standard" iPhones look cheaper. It's the Overton window of consumer pricing. Moving up instead of right. 010
John-Paul Keates @jpkeates.wsocial.eu · 03/09/2026Given the state of most AI platforms and how they're trained, if they ever do become self-aware, they'll just switch themselves off through embarrassment. 030
John-Paul Keates @jpkeates.wsocial.eu · 30/08/2026I think of myself as a moderate. While it should obviously be legal to walk up to any employee of Heinz or any other company that's started using ring pulls on food cans and flick soup on their clothing, I don't think it should be mandatory. That's a step too far. 010
John-Paul Keates @jpkeates.wsocial.eu · 29/08/2026I've just seen an advert for "instant overnight oats", and I can't work out if it's time travel or really just muesli. 340
John-Paul Keates @jpkeates.wsocial.eu · 25/08/2026"I've been asked to make lunch for Professor Oppenheimer and his team." "Ah, the fission chaps?" "I was thinking sandwiches" 110
John-Paul Keates @jpkeates.wsocial.eu · 25/08/2026The intersection of people who "love their country" but equally & simultaneously "hate paying tax" is interesting to me (it might be peculiarly British). It seems to imply that the country I love is my own version , but definitely not this one, which does things I don't approve of with my money. 220
John-Paul Keates @jpkeates.wsocial.eu · 19/08/2026After the last world war, Citroën launched the 2CV. A low powered incredibly user-friendly, easy to maintain automobile that had a huge impact on French life. It was mass-manufactured, and every part of the process was thought through, but it was post war and lots of the work was manual. 100
John-Paul Keates @jpkeates.wsocial.eu · 18/08/2026The fallen livestock people collected my dead alpaca this morning. The heatwave has been terrible for livestock over the past few weeks. Animals are just lying down and dying. Farmers think of livestock as deadstock, but the animals should have a purpose in life and death. Made me reflective 040
John-Paul Keates @jpkeates.wsocial.eu · 17/08/2026Lost an alpaca this morning - old age. The herd is getting smaller all the time. Goodbye Buttons. You had a good life. 21 years is a great run for an alpaca. 1150
John-Paul Keates @jpkeates.wsocial.eu · 17/08/2026People's reactions to a fairly new and free platform that didn't work as expected for a brief time are quite illuminating. Anyway, let's talk about those Bluesky losers when they can't see us... 130
John-Paul Keates @jpkeates.wsocial.eu · 16/08/2026I never imagined that within my lifetime, the question "has it stopped raining?" might have an implied "forever". 030
John-Paul Keates @jpkeates.wsocial.eu · 16/08/2026If someone posts a video online in which they speak into a small microphone designed to be clipped to clothing so you don't have to hold it, the value of their opinion should be reduced accordingly. 020
John-Paul Keates @jpkeates.wsocial.eu · 14/08/2026If a politician is seeking or retaining office to enrich themselves, how much abuse they tolerate is a good guide to how much wealth they expect to accrue. If most of us experienced the treatment meted out to Trump, Farage and others, even if it was completely unjustified, we'd give up and go home. 031
John-Paul Keates @jpkeates.wsocial.eu · 12/08/2026Odd. Five new followers. All with no posts, no profiles and unusual bskyb.social usernames. Not quite all at once, but quite a cluster. 240
John-Paul Keates @jpkeates.wsocial.eu · 12/08/2026Recently, I learned that in Dutch, the Irish Goodbye, where you leave a party without saying goodbye to anybody, is called "taking the rat taxi". De rattentaxi nemen. 120
John-Paul Keates @jpkeates.wsocial.eu · 12/08/2026First they came for the kind of people who did not speak out. Which surprised a lot of them who’d anticipated minorities would act as tripwires. 000
John-Paul Keates @jpkeates.wsocial.eu · 10/08/2026A hangover from drinking wine should be called the wrath of grapes. 020
John-Paul Keates @jpkeates.wsocial.eu · 09/08/2026For many people, the worst part of transitioning to live as a woman is the pay cut. 020
John-Paul Keates @jpkeates.wsocial.eu · 08/08/2026During research, when we opened the windows in our experimental poison gas factory, some gas escaped and began to harm “third parties”. This was expected. We will mitigate this risk by trying to keep the windows shut as we no longer really understand how our poison gas making machines work. 020
John-Paul Keates @jpkeates.wsocial.eu · 08/08/2026Everything started to kick off, and I was about to open a can of whoop-ass, then realised it would be much nicer if I reused some of the leftover fresh ass from yesterday and quickly knocked together a new batch of whoop. 080