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JonZoidberg

@jonzoidberg.xyz
58K followers 50K following 9K posts

#Bluedot in a red sea, husband, dad to kids and fur kids. Nurse Anesthetist. Amateur baker and canner. Blue crab of the resistance! Trans rights are human rights.🏳️‍⚧️ Slava Ukraini! 🇺🇦

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JonZoidberg @jonzoidberg.xyz · 1m
The only thing that would make this better is if Gavin Newsom wasn't a shill for billionaires.
Gavin Newsom

@GavinNewsom

Happy 30th Birthday, @FoxNews!

My little gift to you is a defamation lawsuit giving us the chance to see your emails, texts, edits, and the instructions.

Discovery is going to be FUN. Almost as fun as your depositions. Under oath.

Have a GREAT "fair and balanced" birthday!

Politics & Poll Tracker @PollTrac... 6h Fox News has officially been on the air for 30 years.
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JonZoidberg @jonzoidberg.xyz · 4m
The only thing uglier than Megyn Kelly is her soul.
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JonZoidberg @jonzoidberg.xyz · 8h
Trump is trying to federalize some of the land next to Mar-a-Lago to make himself a cushy Camp David in his own backyard at our expense. I will vote for the candidate that vows to tear it down and have a huge data center built in its place. people.com/trump-wants-...
people.com
Trump Wants to Transform His West Palm Beach Golf Club into a Presidential Retreat
Donald Trump is planning to transform a part of his West Palm Beach golf club into a presidential retreat. The president said both the military and Secret Service ‘suggested’ the move, which comes aft...
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JonZoidberg @jonzoidberg.xyz · 08/10/2026
The bots are voting, y'all. We gotta outvote them!
A bunch of tweets all saying they are voting straight Republican for the midterms
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JonZoidberg @jonzoidberg.xyz · 08/10/2026
There are countless tasty vegan meals I'd rather have than well done shoe leather and ketchup. And I'm not vegan.
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JonZoidberg @jonzoidberg.xyz · 15/01/2026
Donald Trump is a pedophile protector and I identify as a Fucking Bitch.
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JonZoidberg @jonzoidberg.xyz · 07/10/2026
I just saw a commercial that said James Talarico will put you in jail if you don't trans your kids. If you love your kids, you can't vote for Talarico. This is all they got. Trans panic bullshit. @jamestalarico.bsky.social will be our next senator!
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JonZoidberg @jonzoidberg.xyz · 07/10/2026
If the president is so demented that they need a team of spin doctors to continuously sanewash his bullshit, we need a new president.
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JonZoidberg @jonzoidberg.xyz · 07/10/2026
Netanyahu knew about October 7th and not only failed to stop it, he ordered the IDF to kill Israelis during the attack so they wouldn't become hostages. Trump just offered millions of blue state Americans' lives to Iran as a "small price to pay." We are props to these madmen. Props and marks.
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JonZoidberg @jonzoidberg.xyz · 07/10/2026
Even after admitting it was wrong to use taxpayer money to run his propaganda, he won't reimburse us for the ones he's already run. That alone is impeachable. In a sea of war crimes, disregard for human dignity, a complicit GOP is forcing us all to keep suffering. Make them pay on November 3rd.
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JonZoidberg @jonzoidberg.xyz · 07/10/2026
Iran discovered what every ex-wife of this regime already knew. dailypost.ng/2026/10/06/t...
dailypost.ng
'Talks with US meaningless’ - Iran President
Iranian President, Masoud Pezeshkian has described negotiations with the United States as “meaningless”, accusing Washington of using diplomatic talks as
0115
Reposted by JonZoidberg
JonZoidberg @jonzoidberg.xyz · 07/10/2026
Trump already owns 1/3 of the national debt and this will explode it further to attempt to hide his mistakes. We will never financially recover from being looted by this clown. nypost.com/2026/10/06/u...
nypost.com
Trump says he’s considering suspending federal gas tax as states lead effort to lower costs
President Trump said Tuesday that he’s considering suspending the federal gas tax to lower costs — after four states already did so ahead of the midterm elections.
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JonZoidberg @jonzoidberg.xyz · 07/10/2026
81 aircraft destroyed by a "totally obliterated" military is quite a feat. We need a functional 4th estate to cut through the gaslighting and expose what an unmitigated disaster this war has been. news.cgtn.com/news/2026-10...
news.cgtn.com
Congressional report: 81 US military aircraft damaged or destroyed in Iran war
A total of 81 US military aircraft have been damaged or destroyed since the United States and Israel launched military strikes against Iran on February 28, according to a report released by the Congre...
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JonZoidberg @jonzoidberg.xyz · 07/10/2026
"I am sitting on the back of a man. He is sinking under my burden. I will do anything to help him. Except stepping down from his back. —The King of Injustice." This is what the US has become in the eyes of the rest of the world. www.dailymail.com/news/article...
dailymail.com
Statue of a naked Trump goes on display at European Parliament
The statue titled the 'Orange Plague' (pictured) depicts US President Donald Trump overweight and naked holding a long gold club and sitting on the shoulders of a shorter man.
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JonZoidberg @jonzoidberg.xyz · 07/10/2026
Remember when there was a gold-plated statue of a naked Joe Biden at the European Parliament building? Me neither. The world is laughing at us and rightfully so. We are being looted by grifters and morons. www.newsweek.com/gold-naked-s...
newsweek.com
Gold Naked Statue of Donald Trump Displayed at European Parliament
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JonZoidberg @jonzoidberg.xyz · 07/10/2026
Hey, Iran! Looking for a small price for America to pay?
A map of Florida with mar a lago scratched out and replaced with San Diego
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JonZoidberg @jonzoidberg.xyz · 06/10/2026
If you didn't see Trump's speech last night, here's a recap:
Anchorman screenshot with Ron Burgundy saying: Go fuck yourself, San Diego
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JonZoidberg @jonzoidberg.xyz · 07/10/2026
I just saw a commercial that said James Talarico will put you in jail if you don't trans your kids. If you love your kids, you can't vote for Talarico. This is all they got. Trans panic bullshit. @jamestalarico.bsky.social will be our next senator!
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JonZoidberg @jonzoidberg.xyz · 07/10/2026
If the president is so demented that they need a team of spin doctors to continuously sanewash his bullshit, we need a new president.
1112
JonZoidberg @jonzoidberg.xyz · 07/10/2026
Netanyahu knew about October 7th and not only failed to stop it, he ordered the IDF to kill Israelis during the attack so they wouldn't become hostages. Trump just offered millions of blue state Americans' lives to Iran as a "small price to pay." We are props to these madmen. Props and marks.
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JonZoidberg @jonzoidberg.xyz · 07/10/2026
We have been able to temporarily fix our deficits, but we are now paying almost a billion a day in debt interest alone. We need to pay down this crippling debt and we haven't been successful at that. Slowing the growth of the debt isn't enough.
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JonZoidberg @jonzoidberg.xyz · 07/10/2026
Being in Europe, they probably have access to enough eastern bloc sex workers to get a good idea of what that nightmare physique looks like.
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JonZoidberg @jonzoidberg.xyz · 07/10/2026
Even after admitting it was wrong to use taxpayer money to run his propaganda, he won't reimburse us for the ones he's already run. That alone is impeachable. In a sea of war crimes, disregard for human dignity, a complicit GOP is forcing us all to keep suffering. Make them pay on November 3rd.
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JonZoidberg @jonzoidberg.xyz · 07/10/2026
Iran discovered what every ex-wife of this regime already knew. dailypost.ng/2026/10/06/t...
dailypost.ng
'Talks with US meaningless’ - Iran President
Iranian President, Masoud Pezeshkian has described negotiations with the United States as “meaningless”, accusing Washington of using diplomatic talks as
0115
JonZoidberg @jonzoidberg.xyz · 07/10/2026
Trump already owns 1/3 of the national debt and this will explode it further to attempt to hide his mistakes. We will never financially recover from being looted by this clown. nypost.com/2026/10/06/u...
nypost.com
Trump says he’s considering suspending federal gas tax as states lead effort to lower costs
President Trump said Tuesday that he’s considering suspending the federal gas tax to lower costs — after four states already did so ahead of the midterm elections.
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JonZoidberg @jonzoidberg.xyz · 07/10/2026
81 aircraft destroyed by a "totally obliterated" military is quite a feat. We need a functional 4th estate to cut through the gaslighting and expose what an unmitigated disaster this war has been. news.cgtn.com/news/2026-10...
news.cgtn.com
Congressional report: 81 US military aircraft damaged or destroyed in Iran war
A total of 81 US military aircraft have been damaged or destroyed since the United States and Israel launched military strikes against Iran on February 28, according to a report released by the Congre...
01010
JonZoidberg @jonzoidberg.xyz · 07/10/2026
"I am sitting on the back of a man. He is sinking under my burden. I will do anything to help him. Except stepping down from his back. —The King of Injustice." This is what the US has become in the eyes of the rest of the world. www.dailymail.com/news/article...
dailymail.com
Statue of a naked Trump goes on display at European Parliament
The statue titled the 'Orange Plague' (pictured) depicts US President Donald Trump overweight and naked holding a long gold club and sitting on the shoulders of a shorter man.
26821
JonZoidberg @jonzoidberg.xyz · 07/10/2026
Remember when there was a gold-plated statue of a naked Joe Biden at the European Parliament building? Me neither. The world is laughing at us and rightfully so. We are being looted by grifters and morons. www.newsweek.com/gold-naked-s...
newsweek.com
Gold Naked Statue of Donald Trump Displayed at European Parliament
37631
JonZoidberg @jonzoidberg.xyz · 07/10/2026
Hey, Iran! Looking for a small price for America to pay?
A map of Florida with mar a lago scratched out and replaced with San Diego
03511
JonZoidberg @jonzoidberg.xyz · 06/10/2026
If you didn't see Trump's speech last night, here's a recap:
Anchorman screenshot with Ron Burgundy saying: Go fuck yourself, San Diego
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JonZoidberg @jonzoidberg.xyz · 06/10/2026
Why did the press embargo end? Motherfucker never stopped blocking Politico, MSNOW, and CNN. time.com/article/2026...
time.com
POLITICO Blocked From Air Force One Amid Battle Over Media Access
The move prevents the outlet from carrying out its White House press pool duties as Trump travels to Nebraska for a campaign rally.
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JonZoidberg @jonzoidberg.xyz · 06/10/2026
I certainly trust this regime when they want to minimize a fucking plague.
SCRIPPS NEWS

U.S. NEWS

Rubio says he doesn't think death linked to Russian plague lab is cause for alarm
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JonZoidberg @jonzoidberg.xyz · 06/10/2026
Trump hates our men and women in uniform. After denying that they died in battle to make their numbers look better, Trump is paying for his propaganda commercials with funds allocated to pay for memorials to our fallen soldiers. Spin that. www.washingtonpost.com/politics/202...
washingtonpost.com
Campaign-style Trump ads use money meant for border security, memorials
The White House Office of Management and Budget added $20 million to the pot for commemorative events a day before DHS awarded an advertising contract of the same amount.
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JonZoidberg @jonzoidberg.xyz · 05/10/2026
Trump should dispatch RFK to Russia to nip this plague thing in the bud. He surely can't make it worse, or spread it to Putin or our government or anything. www.cnbc.com/2026/10/05/r...
cnbc.com
Russia plague: What we know about the suspected case reportedly linked to a lab worker’s death
According to local media reports, as many as 189 people have also been placed under medical observation in Irkutsk in eastern Russia.
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JonZoidberg @jonzoidberg.xyz · 05/10/2026
Karolyin' Leavitt will continue to lie for a living and may be Jesse Watters' next stalking victim as her baby daddy is probably about to die of old age. I wish her everything she spouted at others from the White House podium. www.koreatimes.co.kr/world/202610...
koreatimes.co.kr
Former press secretary Karoline Leavitt lands her next gig: Fox News contributor - The Korea Times
NEW YORK — Former White House press secretary Karoline Leavitt has found her next chapter: She is heading to Fox News. Leavitt will serve as an on-...
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JonZoidberg @jonzoidberg.xyz · 05/10/2026
Middle school students in Michigan get rebuffed by the Supreme Court; can't wear "Let's Go Brandon" shirts to school. I understand you're disappointed, but please refrain from raping anyone. Anyways, Fuck Your Feelings, 86 47, and Fuck Trump! apnews.com/article/lets...
apnews.com
Supreme Court rejects appeal over Michigan school's ban on ‘Let’s Go Brandon’ sweatshirts
The Supreme Court is rejecting an appeal from a Michigan woman challenging a school district’s ban on shirts with the phrase “Let’s Go Brandon.”
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JonZoidberg @jonzoidberg.xyz · 05/10/2026
Ken Paxton says that between letting pedophiles go free, cheating on his wife, and taking luxury vacations at his slew of properties, he just doesn't have time to run a campaign for Senate. Vote Talarico and send this fucker to jail! www.theguardian.com/us-news/2026...
theguardian.com
Republican Ken Paxton admits forces in DC control his Texas Senate campaign
‘I don’t control message or what we’re doing,’ scandal- hit state attorney general reportedly says at private event
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JonZoidberg @jonzoidberg.xyz · 05/10/2026
@kaitlancollins.bsky.social is one of our last true journalists on the major networks, but she needs to start posting on BlueSky again!
Kaitlan Collins photo captioned 

I'll smile when you answer the fucking question
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JonZoidberg @jonzoidberg.xyz · 05/10/2026
Noted Republican pedophile rapist dies. No, not that one. Or that one. Or that one. Or that one. Or that one. Or that one. Or that one. Or that one. Or that one. Or that one. Or that one. Or that one. Or that one. Or that one. Or that one. Or that one either. abc7chicago.com/post/dennis-...
abc7chicago.com
Dennis Hastert, former US speaker from Illinois convicted in hush money case, dies
Former U.S. Speaker of the House Dennis Hastert who served time in prison for a hush money case, has died at age 84
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JonZoidberg @jonzoidberg.xyz · 05/10/2026
Democrats keep kneecapping themselves by catering to centrists while Trump openly punishes any state that votes against him and calls us "dumb sons of bitches." Go left or go home. Giving everything away to attract a few fence sitters makes progressives stay home.
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JonZoidberg @jonzoidberg.xyz · 05/10/2026
Remember when Matt Gaetz was caught paying children for sex so he got a quickie marriage? It's the guy who fucks animals' turn. apnews.com/article/kash...
apnews.com
FBI Director Kash Patel gets engaged to longtime girlfriend, country singer Alexis Wilkins
FBI Director Kash Patel and longtime girlfriend Alexis Wilkins are announcing their engagement on social media.
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JonZoidberg @jonzoidberg.xyz · 05/10/2026
You never know when you might run into a college Republican!
A girl is doing a selfie in the mirror, captioned Just got Accepted. She then shows a gun in her waistband. Captioned into Cornell
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JonZoidberg @jonzoidberg.xyz · 04/10/2026
This is the cunt who was asking for help doxxing Cornell's Jane Doe. Fuck around, find out!
Michael Tracey

@mtracey

DEAR TROLLS: Please stop calling up my dad and leaving graphic voicemails threatening to castrate him, enough already

4:41 PM 10/3/26

316K Views
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JonZoidberg @jonzoidberg.xyz · 04/10/2026
Once Hegseth purges everyone who isn't shit, this is what's left. www.aljazeera.com/news/2026/10...
aljazeera.com
Japan summons US envoy as marine arrested over Okinawa murder
Ambassador vows cooperation as Japan protests after a US marine’s arrest in connection to Okinawa murder case.
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JonZoidberg @jonzoidberg.xyz · 04/10/2026
Party of perverts. Party of deviants.
The don't tread on me snake wears a MAGA hat and says DON'T CALL ME WEIRD, I JUST DEMAND TO SEE YOUR GENITALS
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JonZoidberg @jonzoidberg.xyz · 04/10/2026
Silly Tom Morello, you don't call young people, you gotta text them. Either way, every eligible voter has to vote this nightmare out! Power to the People!
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JonZoidberg @jonzoidberg.xyz · 04/10/2026
False. I know an Atlanta Hawks game when I see it! Checkmate, Libs!
Wu Tang is for the Children

@WUTangKids

Jack Smith hanging at Tom Morello's "Power to the People" concert
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JonZoidberg @jonzoidberg.xyz · 04/10/2026
Is doxxing still illegal? Because this is a slam dunk. www.koat.com/article/trum...
koat.com
Trump posts Sen. Tom Cotton’s cellphone number amid clash over Daylight Saving Time
Trump posted Sen. Tom Cotton’s number while urging him to back permanent daylight saving time, as the Arkansas senator said winter mornings would get too dark.
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JonZoidberg @jonzoidberg.xyz · 03/10/2026
These views are only controversial if you're in a cult or an agent provocateur.
A fox news screenshot of "Ms Rachel's controversial stances."

Backing El Sayed and Angie Nixon, supporting Palestine, opposing ICE.and billionaires
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JonZoidberg @jonzoidberg.xyz · 01/10/2026
You want to talk about the DEEP STATE? Let me show you what it looks like: The White House colludes with senators, influencers, podcasters, and state regime TV to attempt, unsuccessfully, to discredit an independent prosecutor who targeted the president. There's your fucking Deep State.
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