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Jonny Biscuits @jonnybiscuits.co.uk · 28/04/2025

So, what... are we supposed to just ignore the small, back-flipping child in the background being shot by a sniper? #OUFC

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Jonny Biscuits @jonnybiscuits.co.uk · 25/04/2025

Now THIS is the kind of news story I can get behind.

Guardian article screen grab. There's a picture of the Bayeux Tapestry above the headline: Historians dispute Bayeux Tapestry penis tally after lengthy debate. The headline is followed by the lede, which reads: Two Bayeux scholars at loggerheads over whether dangling shape depicts dagger or the embroidery's 94th phallus.

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Jonny Biscuits @jonnybiscuits.co.uk · 19/04/2025

I doubt anybody's got a gayer left arm than me right now.

A rainbow watch strap and a can of tutti fritti Fanta.

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Jonny Biscuits @jonnybiscuits.co.uk · 15/04/2025

A beautiful and touching email from the club. PK wishing me a happy birthday and Benson trying to flog me some merch, so heartfelt 🥲 #OUFC

A photo of Peter Kioso and some overlaid text wishing me a happy birthday from Oxford United

A picture of the three kits hung up in the club shop with a link at the bottom reading Shop Online Here.

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Jonny Biscuits @jonnybiscuits.co.uk · 11/04/2025

Good grief, I hadn't seen that Dejphon Chansiri had put his name in the seats at Hillsborough. Can someone page OUFC and ask them how much I need to pay to get JONNYBISCUITS spelled out in the seats at the triangle?

The inside of Hillsborough stadium on a sunny day. Opposite we can see a single-tier stand with blue seats with the word "Chansiri" spelled out in white seats.

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Jonny Biscuits @jonnybiscuits.co.uk · 07/04/2025

Spooky. That just came up in the book I'm reading.

The loading screen in Daley Thompson's Decathlon across a double page spread of a book.

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Jonny Biscuits @jonnybiscuits.co.uk · 02/04/2025

What the hell is this shit invading my app for privately messaging my friends?

Zuckerberg has poisoned the WhatsApp app with a Search bar entitled Ask Meta AI or Search. This is a screenshot of this search bar. Underneath it says "Search your WhatsApp chats and contacts, or send a question to Meta AI."

It then gives me some suggested questions I could ask Meta AI, including "How do I network?" "Powerlifting routine" and "How do I get glass skin" whatever the fuck that even means.

WHY IS EVERYONE HELL BENT ON MAKING EVERYTHING WORSE!

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Jonny Biscuits @jonnybiscuits.co.uk · 26/03/2025

Saw @oxblogger.bsky.social spitting mad truths on stage at Florence Park Talks. Was brilliant. The lads from the Mad Dog book were superb too. Mickey Lewis's family were lovely, as were Des's parents, as was @adawsonbros.bsky.social, and @martinezra.bsky.social is always a gent. #OUFC

An endearingly ramshackle stage with a mic stand and four wooden chairs with maroon leather padded back rests. A pull down screen shows a projected image from Oxford United's glory years in the 80s. Some old school bunting pinned up in the background adds to the spectacular retro aesthetic to the scene.

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Jonny Biscuits @jonnybiscuits.co.uk · 13/03/2025

Points per game comparison for them both vs the top half and vs the bottom half - and crucially overall PPG where they're about the same. Also compared what percentage of games they've played against who. Rowett's had the easier run.

A table showing that Des has done better against the bottom half than Rowett, but Rowett has done better against the top half. Overall their points per game is almost identical.

Table showing that Des played 55% against the top half and 45% against the bottom. Rowett 43% against the top half, 57% against the bottom.

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Jonny Biscuits @jonnybiscuits.co.uk · 12/03/2025

Have been keeping this burning for a few weeks after you first posted that but only just got around to updating the league positions. #OUFC

A detailed pair of tables showing that Oxford have done badly against the top half of the table away from home, moderately badly against them at home, good against the bottom half of the table at home, and moderately against the bottom of the table away from home. There's another table comparing who Des and Rowett picked their points up against, and it's a similar pattern.

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Jonny Biscuits @jonnybiscuits.co.uk · 09/03/2025

Sad times for Animalates. Taken from us too soon.

Registered office address Robin Park Arena, Loire Drive, Wigan, England, WN5 OUH
Company status
Dissolved
Dissolved on
13 April 2021

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Jonny Biscuits @jonnybiscuits.co.uk · 09/03/2025

11 years ago this weekend. The 4th Division. 2-1 home defeat to Gary Rowett's Burton. We've come a long way. #OUFC

The Kassam Stadium. Two teams are lining up doing the pre-match handshake. The East Stand is less than two-thirds full. The north stand only has about 300 people in it.

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Jonny Biscuits @jonnybiscuits.co.uk · 07/03/2025

Lol. We've absolutely mugged them off there tbf. What a performance. #OUFC

Stats for Norwich v Oxford. They've humped us on everything. 77% possession. 15 shots to 3 etc.

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Jonny Biscuits @jonnybiscuits.co.uk · 01/03/2025

Cold morning! What are we thinking for the game against Frank Lampard's Wayne Rooney's Derby County's Coventry City? Two pairs of socks, layers... big coat too much as it's warming up later? Medium coat? #OUFC #KasStadMicroClimate #LayersChat

The weather forecast showing it will be very cold in the morning, but sunny. Up to 7 or 8 degrees celsius during the match though. Hmm.

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Jonny Biscuits @jonnybiscuits.co.uk · 23/02/2025

Oh well, I suppose it's another ground knocked off the list. 55/92.

Jeff Astle's likeness honoured in an iron gate. He seems happy.

The statue of Tony Bomber Brown. He looks like a robust gentleman.

A t-shirt saying Throstles because why wouldn't you buy a t-shirt saying Throstles?

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Jonny Biscuits @jonnybiscuits.co.uk · 22/02/2025

It's like a bloody Blur video in here #OUFC

The West Brom Boiler mascot, looking for all the world like the carton of milk from the Coffee and TV video.

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Jonny Biscuits @jonnybiscuits.co.uk · 03/02/2025

Genuinely delighted to read of a player from a relegation rival not taking their predicament seriously.

Luton have 'no chance' of going down - Doughty.

Luton Town have "no chance" of being relegated because of the quality of their squad, according to Alfie Doughty.

Posted on the BBC website 13 hours ago.

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Jonny Biscuits @jonnybiscuits.co.uk · 01/02/2025

Is "goal involvements" the worst of all modern football's metrics? Sprint 80 yards, take on the entire opposition team, pass to a teammate who plays a simple pass to the goal scorer, and they get the "goal involvement." Maybe get a +1 "completed dribble" if you're lucky I hate football.

Excerpt from an article on the Oxford United website saying: A hugely impressive player during his loan spell in last season’s promotion success, the exciting 21-year-old forward quickly became a fan favourite with 27 appearances and seven goal involvements across all competitions.

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Jonny Biscuits @jonnybiscuits.co.uk · 16/01/2025

Not sure I support this use of U in the singular here. If this is what it takes to be *A Top 30 Club* then count me out.

Headline from the Oxford United website reading "Tom Bradshaw's first interview as a U"

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Jonny Biscuits @jonnybiscuits.co.uk · 13/01/2025

The survey asks that only Away Membership holders answer this question, but it seems to me that it's a relevant question for all supporters. It's in the interests of away members to say that only they should have priority access to the scheme next season.

Survey question about who should get priority access to the Oxford United away membership scheme.

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Jonny Biscuits @jonnybiscuits.co.uk · 10/01/2025

I've tried so hard to erase that 6-2 defeat at Coventy from my memory that I've accidentally erased it from actual history. #OUFC

Oxford have reached the fourth round only once in the past seven seasons, although their position outside of the second tier meant they had to win more games to reach that stage because of entering in the first round.

They were knocked out at home by Premier League title challengers Arsenal last season but now face opponents who are 14th in the third tier after consecutive defeats.

Romney, who scored twice in 13 games this season for the third-placed side in the Eredivisie, has not played since making a substitute appearance on 8 December for his former club.

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Jonny Biscuits @jonnybiscuits.co.uk · 07/01/2025

I don't think I'd ever stop laughing.

Screengrab from the Guardian website. A picture of Elon Musk in front of the USA flag, with a headline reading "Elon Musk would be interested in buying Liverpool FC, claims father".

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Jonny Biscuits @jonnybiscuits.co.uk · 01/01/2025

Reckon anybody up to and including Millwall could still get dragged down into it. #OUFC

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Jonny Biscuits @jonnybiscuits.co.uk · 31/12/2024

You're going to have a parish council, a unitary council and a strategic authority. It's still going to be three layers.

Partridge: They've Rebadged it You Fool.

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Jonny Biscuits @jonnybiscuits.co.uk · 26/12/2024

Trying to figure out how to spend a very generous £100 Christmas cash gift. Google AI absolutely smashing it again.

Google AI search results suggesting ideas for how to spend £100. One of the suggestions is to take a trip on the Woolwich Ferry.

The Transport for London website expl6tnst the Woolwich Ferry is free. Not £100.

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Jonny Biscuits @jonnybiscuits.co.uk · 24/12/2024

"You'll be visited by three spirits." The three spirits:

Rod, Jane and Freddie. Not definitely in that order.

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Jonny Biscuits @jonnybiscuits.co.uk · 20/12/2024

I know you're all moving on and being all sensible and pragmatic because there's some Stoke City Millwall bloke wearing our jumper blah blah blah but JUST FUCKING LOOK AT HIM I MEAN JESUS CHRISTOPHER

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Jonny Biscuits @jonnybiscuits.co.uk · 18/12/2024

Pretty certain all of these games were against his Burton side. AI hasn't got the first clue what it's doing.

A screenshot showing details of six games between Oxford and Burton between 2012 and 2014. Two were draws, one was a victory to Oxford, three were victories to Burton.

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Jonny Biscuits @jonnybiscuits.co.uk · 17/12/2024

I googled "Gary Rowett Sexy" and there's a picture of Des. THAT SPEAKS VOLUMES.

A Google image search of "Gary Rowett Sexy" and the first image beneath it is Des looking brooding and fine.

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Jonny Biscuits @jonnybiscuits.co.uk · 16/12/2024

If you want more evidence of how little respect they have for us, just look at their shit Bolton Wanderers themed merch-flinging website. When we complained there wasn't enough yellow, they added this. #OUFC

A very, very, very, very white website header, with 6 tiny flashes of yellow above the words Oxford United. The flashes of yellow come from one the club's latest schizophrenic fortnightly branding exercises.

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Jonny Biscuits @jonnybiscuits.co.uk · 15/12/2024

The only manager in my lifetime other than Jim Smith who really gave us something we could get behind. This is insane. See this paragraph from my article in the latest Oxblogger newsletter. #OUFC

Having a manager that gets who we are is a truly unique thing and we should treasure it while we still have it. And so, it’s worth ending with a note of caution - our owners and board have ambitions of turning us into a stable Top 30 club. While we’ll never be a Manchester, or an Arsenal, or even a Villa, West Ham or Everton, attempting to shift our club into that realm will come with a price. They’ve actively stated that to achieve their goal, a greater sense of professionalism has to be instilled at the club, and this included replacing staff. They may or may not be right, but regardless they need to be incredibly careful not to throw the baby out with the bathwater. Make the club more professional but be careful that you’re not surgically extracting the sense of community while you do it.

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Jonny Biscuits @jonnybiscuits.co.uk · 14/12/2024

Someone posts a light-hearted joke. Man replies with "you should be friends with more Nazis". Think that's me done with social media for the day.

Anon Opin posted:
I've never met anyone who admits to liking 'Mrs Brown's boys. I've just had the thought that it's actually a big money laundering operation somehow, a bit like the proliferation of high street barbers.

A reply said:
Those barbers exist because we're happy to take the tax from drug operations but won't legalise, regulate and properly tax that industry. Also, widen your social circle. You probably thought no one would vote for Brexit or why people vote Farage/ Reform/fascism.
Meet those people.

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Jonny Biscuits @jonnybiscuits.co.uk · 29/11/2024

Exhibit B. We're about 10 posts down a thread making fun of Linux evangelists and this lad comes at me in full effect.

A thread of BlueSky posts where I say my experience of Linux was dogshit and a probably perfectly pleasant, but staggeringly un self-aware bloke rolls into town, and over two breathless posts explains how great his Linux experience was and he can't wait to have another.

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Jonny Biscuits @jonnybiscuits.co.uk · 24/11/2024

Name a game with a 10/10 soundtrack.

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Jonny Biscuits @jonnybiscuits.co.uk · 16/11/2024

These lads would absolutely clean up at the football, and yet we're limited to Meat Slab in Bap £10. #OUFC

A Nepalese street food stall and the food looks amazing.

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