Garftato Head @johnymortis.bsky.social · 07/10/2026Smoking that shit that turned that Zeppelin into lead 000
Garftato Head @johnymortis.bsky.social · 30/09/2026The lion does not concern himself with his slowed breathing and heart palpatatio- 020
Garftato Head @johnymortis.bsky.social · 24/09/2026Voressy be like: "I just ate someone whole and I can feel them kicking around in my big, swollen tummy, also I'm sad and British (and gay)." 000
Garftato Head @johnymortis.bsky.social · 08/09/2026www.theguardian.com/society/2026...theguardian.comThe quaalude comeback: a once ‘extinct’ drug from the 70s makes a resurgenceUnderground chemists are now producing the notorious party drug after a Scorsese film sparked renewed interest 000
Garftato Head @johnymortis.bsky.social · 08/09/2026THEY BROUGHT BACK THEM FUCKIN QUAALUDES YEAAAHHHH 110
Garftato Head @johnymortis.bsky.social · 04/09/2026You know this guy pokes himself in the eye every time he jacks off 000
Garftato Head @johnymortis.bsky.social · 27/08/2026The lion does not concern himself with marinara sauce stains in his underwear 011
Garftato Head @johnymortis.bsky.social · 23/08/2026Cruelty squad has led to the creation of a genre I like to call schizopostingcore 000
Garftato Head @johnymortis.bsky.social · 21/08/2026Datk woke H.P. Lovecraft witha white cat named Cracker Woman 010
Garftato Head @johnymortis.bsky.social · 20/08/2026The Buddha is all like "all money is nothing but attachment to the material world, that's why you should just give it all to me." 000
Garftato Head @johnymortis.bsky.social · 20/08/2026I like to think that while the rest of their apartment is a shit hole all of their rooms look just like hers. 000
Garftato Head @johnymortis.bsky.social · 18/08/2026Kicked out of Olive Garden again. Apparently "unlimited" breadsticks just means 12 orders and you're not allowed to add your own Alfredo (cum) to the Alfredo sauce. 041
Garftato Head @johnymortis.bsky.social · 07/07/2026LANDMINE HAS TAKEN MY SIGHT TAKEN MY SPEECH TAKEN MY HEARING TAKEN MY ASS TAKEN MY DICK TAKEN MY BALLS TAKEN MY CAR TAKEN MY DOG TAKEN MY WIFE TAKEN MY HOUSE TAKEN MY LUNCH LEFT ME WITH LIFE IN HELLLLLLL 000
Garftato Head @johnymortis.bsky.social · 05/06/2026Pancakes and waffles comment: Genocide edition 010
Garftato Head @johnymortis.bsky.social · 01/06/2026I just saw this movie. This is the hardest fucking film ever made 023
Garftato Head @johnymortis.bsky.social · 22/05/2026I just saw the word hoe spelled like heaux like okay Shakespeare calm down 😂 000
Garftato Head @johnymortis.bsky.social · 20/05/2026I AM A MAN WHO'S MADE OF MEAT YOU'RE ON THE INTERNET LOOKING AT f e e t 000
Garftato Head @johnymortis.bsky.social · 30/04/2026Tankie streamer: "You say Marxist-Leninism results in tyranny, but he CNT killed people, how do you respond?" Me: Interesting, interesting. (I have already sent a bomb to their mailbox) 000
Garftato Head @johnymortis.bsky.social · 20/03/2026Earthbound mod where Ness says fuck and more scary, edgy stuff happens. 000
Garftato Head @johnymortis.bsky.social · 20/03/2026Happy birthday my favorite esoteric anime internet person 010
Garftato Head @johnymortis.bsky.social · 28/02/2026Everyone is sad about Smiling Friends ending, and I get it, but I think it's good for artists to move on. When a show or project goes on longer than the creators want it to, it risks becoming a stale, commercialized imitation of itself. 000
Reposted by Garftato HeadJabroni Mike @jabronimike.bsky.social · 28/01/2026Just got out of jail. Do your taxes guys. HAHA YEA RIGHT!!! FUCK TAXES!!! 915623
Garftato Head @johnymortis.bsky.social · 19/01/2026I have bad news, I have to have a bong hit transplant, or I'll die. Pray for me 000
Garftato Head @johnymortis.bsky.social · 15/01/2026Did you all know that they made a movie based on the N64 game GoldenEye? 000
Garftato Head @johnymortis.bsky.social · 08/01/2026I have come here to kill God and fuck lasagna. And I'm all out of lasagna. 000
Garftato Head @johnymortis.bsky.social · 20/12/20252/2 Picard approaches her, now only wearing a diaper, and climbs into Dr. Crusher's loving arms. He is embraced and caressed like an infant while the giant Dr.Crusher coos over him like a mother. 000
Garftato Head @johnymortis.bsky.social · 20/12/2025Capitan Picard stands in the darkened, inactive holodeck. "Computer: load program BigJB21." In a flash of light a giant 20th century bedroom bursts into view. An enormous Beverly Crusher in a blue dress sits on a bed, extending her abnormally long arms. 1/2 100
Garftato Head @johnymortis.bsky.social · 12/12/2025Using technology far beyond our comprehension, they clone all life on the planet, restoring it to its likeness right before full ecological collapse. Human civilization is jumpstared to the point where it picks right up where it left off. 4284 AD: Half Life 3 is announced. 000
Garftato Head @johnymortis.bsky.social · 12/12/20254283 AD: Aliens from a distant solar system pick up a signal from one of the zillions of Von Neumann style probes they sent across the galaxy. They instantaneously arrive to our barren, lifeless world, only picking up traces of carbon and dust with their instruments. 100
Garftato Head @johnymortis.bsky.social · 30/11/2025You know Belle was disappointed on some level when the Beast changed back because his junk must have shrank. Plus she was a white woman 030
