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Jordan AKA Jordan Michael

@jmcaggregate.bsky.social
66 followers 95 following 194 posts

GO&HF Dumbest motherfucker alive. JMCAggregate.com TemporaryState.org

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Jordan AKA Jordan Michael @jmcaggregate.bsky.social · 27/02/2026
The face and body language of a man who can’t believe his plan worked but isn’t in the clear yet.
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Jordan AKA Jordan Michael @jmcaggregate.bsky.social · 27/02/2026
Union Pool is Stonewall for heterosexual millennials.
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Jordan AKA Jordan Michael @jmcaggregate.bsky.social · 22/01/2026
ZohranMamdeli.com
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Jordan AKA Jordan Michael @jmcaggregate.bsky.social · 27/11/2025
Now Lil Jon he's on the Toys R Us float.
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Jordan AKA Jordan Michael @jmcaggregate.bsky.social · 27/11/2025
The line-up of people I have seen perform at the Macy's Parade has been (in order) Shaggy, Conan Grey, Jewel, Foreigner, and now Busta Rhymes.
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Jordan AKA Jordan Michael @jmcaggregate.bsky.social · 27/11/2025
I have never seen someone on TV so visibly high on Adderal.
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Jordan AKA Jordan Michael @jmcaggregate.bsky.social · 26/11/2025
Teenagers terrified of their smells.
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Reposted by Jordan AKA Jordan Michael
Tabs Out Cassette Podcast @tabsout.bsky.social · 05/11/2025
perfect jcard for a noise tape. no notes. print it
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Jordan AKA Jordan Michael @jmcaggregate.bsky.social · 21/10/2025
I could handle it.
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Jordan AKA Jordan Michael @jmcaggregate.bsky.social · 15/09/2025
Just saw the trailer where the guy from The Bear plays Bruce Springsteen gonna be a huge hit with dudes who have underdeveloped personalities!
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Jordan AKA Jordan Michael @jmcaggregate.bsky.social · 07/09/2025
Psht more like politricks right?
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Jordan AKA Jordan Michael @jmcaggregate.bsky.social · 03/09/2025
And all the dates are in Israel.
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Jordan AKA Jordan Michael @jmcaggregate.bsky.social · 31/08/2025
My fellow men don't do it just because Austin Butler looks good in a henley doesn't mean you will too.
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Jordan AKA Jordan Michael @jmcaggregate.bsky.social · 30/08/2025
My favorite thing about the Alien movies is that there aren’t just the big guys there are also little guys and mediums guys that stay around so the big guys have friends.
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Jordan AKA Jordan Michael @jmcaggregate.bsky.social · 14/08/2025
I’m on your blog
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Jordan AKA Jordan Michael @jmcaggregate.bsky.social · 13/08/2025
There is going to be a Rambo prequel movie so it will either be about a guy who goes to Vietnam or a guy who hasn't yet gone to Vietnam I'm hoping it's the latter.
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Jordan AKA Jordan Michael @jmcaggregate.bsky.social · 07/08/2025
I could beat him.
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Jordan AKA Jordan Michael @jmcaggregate.bsky.social · 10/07/2025
I don't get why Superman isn't wearing a thong over his long tights 1990s workout video style.
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Jordan AKA Jordan Michael @jmcaggregate.bsky.social · 27/06/2025
There were 6 Pussycat Dolls that feels like simply too much.
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Jordan AKA Jordan Michael @jmcaggregate.bsky.social · 21/06/2025
It is incredibly fucked up that we can tell Burger King and McDonald’s apart by the smell Christ Our Lord didn’t intend for that shit.
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Jordan AKA Jordan Michael @jmcaggregate.bsky.social · 21/06/2025
When someone says "69" I say "nice" not because I've ever had sex before but because 69 degrees it the perfect temperature 70 is too hot and 68 is too cold.
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Jordan AKA Jordan Michael @jmcaggregate.bsky.social · 15/06/2025
It’s so funny they’re using the song that is only exists in movies to indicate Young Men are About to Die for No Reason if you hear ‘Fortunate Son’ in a movie it is BAD NEWS for any character played by someone below top of the call sheet.
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Jordan AKA Jordan Michael @jmcaggregate.bsky.social · 14/06/2025
I just saw a guy put on a weightlifting belt to do a leg press machine what the fuck is going on in this country Mothers raises your Sons already.
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Jordan AKA Jordan Michael @jmcaggregate.bsky.social · 09/06/2025
Help! I fucked around with a duvet cover and now I’m finding out!
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Jordan AKA Jordan Michael @jmcaggregate.bsky.social · 06/06/2025
@peretsky.bsky.social @lizpelly.bsky.social I’m outside the gates at SpotiFest and they are playing an EDM remix of “The Final Countdown” and it’s in Spanish.
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Jordan AKA Jordan Michael @jmcaggregate.bsky.social · 05/06/2025
Guys, remember when subtext existed?
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Jordan AKA Jordan Michael @jmcaggregate.bsky.social · 05/06/2025
The Wall Street Journal always pushing the limits in the field of Hating.
wsj.com
Everyone’s Celebrating a Play About Mary Todd Lincoln—Except Her Impersonators
The former first lady’s biggest fans say people don’t get her, and the Broadway hit ‘Oh, Mary!’ isn’t exactly helping the cause
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Jordan AKA Jordan Michael @jmcaggregate.bsky.social · 02/06/2025
Insane moment today where I was reflecting on how I’ve had a weird feeling about my wardrobe for like 2 months and then I suddenly realized I need about $150 worth of Dockers.
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Jordan AKA Jordan Michael @jmcaggregate.bsky.social · 28/05/2025
This is (in my experience) a very accurate depiction of what all real life male friendships feel like.
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Jordan AKA Jordan Michael @jmcaggregate.bsky.social · 28/05/2025
Oh cool where in Brooklyn you at?
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Jordan AKA Jordan Michael @jmcaggregate.bsky.social · 18/05/2025
Fart Attack is a good band name.
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Jordan AKA Jordan Michael @jmcaggregate.bsky.social · 17/05/2025
Earlier tonight I said word-for-word “I love alcohol it’s my favorite and makes me feel good” but I didn’t think anyone heard me so I said it again But louder It is 1 fifty-five in the morning.
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Jordan AKA Jordan Michael @jmcaggregate.bsky.social · 14/05/2025
Damn NPR this headline is brutal wtf did this guy ever do to you?
npr.org
Uruguay's ex-President José Mujica, nicknamed 'world's poorest president,' dies at 89
José Mujica, the charismatic former guerrilla fighter who later went on to lead Uruguay and became known as "the world's poorest president" for his austere lifestyle, has died at 89.
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Jordan AKA Jordan Michael @jmcaggregate.bsky.social · 13/05/2025
People in Queens: “This garden isn’t racist enough.”
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Jordan AKA Jordan Michael @jmcaggregate.bsky.social · 13/05/2025
Stereogum headlines yet again.
stereogum.com
Boy Hits Car Concert Canceled After Truck Hits Venue
On Friday (May 9), Boy Hits Car were slated to play a single release show at Los Angeles’ Whisky A Go Go to celebrate their new album Mind Elevation. However, the alt-rock band’s show was canceled due...
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Jordan AKA Jordan Michael @jmcaggregate.bsky.social · 04/05/2025
Formally retiring talking to the cat in Bernie Sanders voice and bringing out Cartman voice for the time being.
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Jordan AKA Jordan Michael @jmcaggregate.bsky.social · 03/05/2025
When the NYPD discover Canva it is fucking OVER for us.
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Jordan AKA Jordan Michael @jmcaggregate.bsky.social · 02/05/2025
Stereogum reliably coming up with the best headlines.
stereogum.com
Car Smashes Into Billy Corgan’s Tea Shop For The Second Time In Six Months
On the 1998 Smashing Pumpkins song “Ava Adore,” Billy Corgan sings this line: “In you, I crash cars.” People probably shouldn’t take that so literally. Famously, Corgan is the owner of Madame Zuzu’s, ...
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Jordan AKA Jordan Michael @jmcaggregate.bsky.social · 02/05/2025
Brooklyn Mirage posted this skit on TikTok to seem self-aware and to have a self of humor about themselves but the what comes across is, "Only assholes come here and they all fucking hate us."
tiktok.com
We heard you, see you May 1. #brooklynmirage
TikTok video by Avant Gardner
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Jordan AKA Jordan Michael @jmcaggregate.bsky.social · 01/05/2025
One of the few bits of justice is that this man’s bullies never went away and remain terrible and his peers who are taken seriously for his entire life.
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Jordan AKA Jordan Michael @jmcaggregate.bsky.social · 29/04/2025
Guys I finally did it I found the World's Worst Shoe.
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Jordan AKA Jordan Michael @jmcaggregate.bsky.social · 14/04/2025
It was not!
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Jordan AKA Jordan Michael @jmcaggregate.bsky.social · 14/04/2025
About to listen to a song called "Cowboy Gangster Politician" will report back if it is any good!
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Jordan AKA Jordan Michael @jmcaggregate.bsky.social · 04/04/2025
Not tryna sound racist but I can’t tell babies apart.
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Jordan AKA Jordan Michael @jmcaggregate.bsky.social · 03/04/2025
Wheelbarrows are like umbrellas right like nobody ever buys one we’re all just stealing each other’s lost ones right?
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Jordan AKA Jordan Michael @jmcaggregate.bsky.social · 30/03/2025
I’m starting a new consulting service where I bully you until you’re cool courses start at $300 a session.
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Jordan AKA Jordan Michael @jmcaggregate.bsky.social · 29/03/2025
I got a new bed frame yesterday and I loved it and then I went to a party in a stranger’s house and with the exact same bed frame and he was like “yeah I just got it today it’s great!”
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Jordan AKA Jordan Michael @jmcaggregate.bsky.social · 27/03/2025
Has anyone ever eaten a Black Cherry in real life or is it just Warheads candy and High Noon?
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Jordan AKA Jordan Michael @jmcaggregate.bsky.social · 27/03/2025
How is it that everything in Williamsburg totally changes every 2 years but The Commodore and Union Pool have been the same since 2007?
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Jordan AKA Jordan Michael @jmcaggregate.bsky.social · 22/03/2025
It's still Dunkin Donuts to me, dammit.
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