Jordan AKA Jordan Michael @jmcaggregate.bsky.social · 27/02/2026Union Pool is Stonewall for heterosexual millennials. 000
Jordan AKA Jordan Michael @jmcaggregate.bsky.social · 27/11/2025The line-up of people I have seen perform at the Macy's Parade has been (in order) Shaggy, Conan Grey, Jewel, Foreigner, and now Busta Rhymes. 100
Reposted by Jordan AKA Jordan MichaelTabs Out Cassette Podcast @tabsout.bsky.social · 05/11/2025perfect jcard for a noise tape. no notes. print it 618124
Jordan AKA Jordan Michael @jmcaggregate.bsky.social · 15/09/2025Just saw the trailer where the guy from The Bear plays Bruce Springsteen gonna be a huge hit with dudes who have underdeveloped personalities! 010
Jordan AKA Jordan Michael @jmcaggregate.bsky.social · 31/08/2025My fellow men don't do it just because Austin Butler looks good in a henley doesn't mean you will too. 000
Jordan AKA Jordan Michael @jmcaggregate.bsky.social · 30/08/2025My favorite thing about the Alien movies is that there aren’t just the big guys there are also little guys and mediums guys that stay around so the big guys have friends. 000
Jordan AKA Jordan Michael @jmcaggregate.bsky.social · 13/08/2025There is going to be a Rambo prequel movie so it will either be about a guy who goes to Vietnam or a guy who hasn't yet gone to Vietnam I'm hoping it's the latter. 010
Jordan AKA Jordan Michael @jmcaggregate.bsky.social · 10/07/2025I don't get why Superman isn't wearing a thong over his long tights 1990s workout video style. 000
Jordan AKA Jordan Michael @jmcaggregate.bsky.social · 27/06/2025There were 6 Pussycat Dolls that feels like simply too much. 000
Jordan AKA Jordan Michael @jmcaggregate.bsky.social · 21/06/2025It is incredibly fucked up that we can tell Burger King and McDonald’s apart by the smell Christ Our Lord didn’t intend for that shit. 100
Jordan AKA Jordan Michael @jmcaggregate.bsky.social · 21/06/2025When someone says "69" I say "nice" not because I've ever had sex before but because 69 degrees it the perfect temperature 70 is too hot and 68 is too cold. 000
Jordan AKA Jordan Michael @jmcaggregate.bsky.social · 14/06/2025I just saw a guy put on a weightlifting belt to do a leg press machine what the fuck is going on in this country Mothers raises your Sons already. 000
Jordan AKA Jordan Michael @jmcaggregate.bsky.social · 09/06/2025Help! I fucked around with a duvet cover and now I’m finding out! 000
Jordan AKA Jordan Michael @jmcaggregate.bsky.social · 06/06/2025@peretsky.bsky.social @lizpelly.bsky.social I’m outside the gates at SpotiFest and they are playing an EDM remix of “The Final Countdown” and it’s in Spanish. 010
Jordan AKA Jordan Michael @jmcaggregate.bsky.social · 05/06/2025Guys, remember when subtext existed? 010
Jordan AKA Jordan Michael @jmcaggregate.bsky.social · 05/06/2025The Wall Street Journal always pushing the limits in the field of Hating.wsj.comEveryone’s Celebrating a Play About Mary Todd Lincoln—Except Her ImpersonatorsThe former first lady’s biggest fans say people don’t get her, and the Broadway hit ‘Oh, Mary!’ isn’t exactly helping the cause 000
Jordan AKA Jordan Michael @jmcaggregate.bsky.social · 02/06/2025Insane moment today where I was reflecting on how I’ve had a weird feeling about my wardrobe for like 2 months and then I suddenly realized I need about $150 worth of Dockers. 000
Jordan AKA Jordan Michael @jmcaggregate.bsky.social · 17/05/2025Earlier tonight I said word-for-word “I love alcohol it’s my favorite and makes me feel good” but I didn’t think anyone heard me so I said it again But louder It is 1 fifty-five in the morning. 110
Jordan AKA Jordan Michael @jmcaggregate.bsky.social · 14/05/2025Damn NPR this headline is brutal wtf did this guy ever do to you?npr.orgUruguay's ex-President José Mujica, nicknamed 'world's poorest president,' dies at 89José Mujica, the charismatic former guerrilla fighter who later went on to lead Uruguay and became known as "the world's poorest president" for his austere lifestyle, has died at 89. 000
Jordan AKA Jordan Michael @jmcaggregate.bsky.social · 13/05/2025People in Queens: “This garden isn’t racist enough.” 000
Jordan AKA Jordan Michael @jmcaggregate.bsky.social · 13/05/2025Stereogum headlines yet again.stereogum.comBoy Hits Car Concert Canceled After Truck Hits VenueOn Friday (May 9), Boy Hits Car were slated to play a single release show at Los Angeles’ Whisky A Go Go to celebrate their new album Mind Elevation. However, the alt-rock band’s show was canceled due... 000
Jordan AKA Jordan Michael @jmcaggregate.bsky.social · 04/05/2025Formally retiring talking to the cat in Bernie Sanders voice and bringing out Cartman voice for the time being. 000
Jordan AKA Jordan Michael @jmcaggregate.bsky.social · 03/05/2025When the NYPD discover Canva it is fucking OVER for us. 000
Jordan AKA Jordan Michael @jmcaggregate.bsky.social · 02/05/2025Stereogum reliably coming up with the best headlines.stereogum.comCar Smashes Into Billy Corgan’s Tea Shop For The Second Time In Six MonthsOn the 1998 Smashing Pumpkins song “Ava Adore,” Billy Corgan sings this line: “In you, I crash cars.” People probably shouldn’t take that so literally. Famously, Corgan is the owner of Madame Zuzu’s, ... 000
Jordan AKA Jordan Michael @jmcaggregate.bsky.social · 02/05/2025Brooklyn Mirage posted this skit on TikTok to seem self-aware and to have a self of humor about themselves but the what comes across is, "Only assholes come here and they all fucking hate us."tiktok.comWe heard you, see you May 1. #brooklynmirage TikTok video by Avant Gardner 000
Jordan AKA Jordan Michael @jmcaggregate.bsky.social · 29/04/2025Guys I finally did it I found the World's Worst Shoe. 000
Jordan AKA Jordan Michael @jmcaggregate.bsky.social · 14/04/2025About to listen to a song called "Cowboy Gangster Politician" will report back if it is any good! 100
Jordan AKA Jordan Michael @jmcaggregate.bsky.social · 04/04/2025Not tryna sound racist but I can’t tell babies apart. 020
Jordan AKA Jordan Michael @jmcaggregate.bsky.social · 03/04/2025Wheelbarrows are like umbrellas right like nobody ever buys one we’re all just stealing each other’s lost ones right? 000
Jordan AKA Jordan Michael @jmcaggregate.bsky.social · 30/03/2025I’m starting a new consulting service where I bully you until you’re cool courses start at $300 a session. 000
Jordan AKA Jordan Michael @jmcaggregate.bsky.social · 29/03/2025I got a new bed frame yesterday and I loved it and then I went to a party in a stranger’s house and with the exact same bed frame and he was like “yeah I just got it today it’s great!” 010
Jordan AKA Jordan Michael @jmcaggregate.bsky.social · 27/03/2025Has anyone ever eaten a Black Cherry in real life or is it just Warheads candy and High Noon? 010
Jordan AKA Jordan Michael @jmcaggregate.bsky.social · 27/03/2025How is it that everything in Williamsburg totally changes every 2 years but The Commodore and Union Pool have been the same since 2007? 000
Jordan AKA Jordan Michael @jmcaggregate.bsky.social · 22/03/2025It's still Dunkin Donuts to me, dammit. 000
Jordan AKA Jordan Michael @jmcaggregate.bsky.social · 21/03/2025Still amazed that this was music young people listened to. 010
Jordan AKA Jordan Michael @jmcaggregate.bsky.social · 18/03/2025Today I learned one of the Russo Bros (America's premiere Action Figures Slamming Together directors) moonlights as a Scarves All Year typa guy. 000
Jordan AKA Jordan Michael @jmcaggregate.bsky.social · 16/03/2025The Substack Sauna Party is the type of thing that only sounds appealing if you have had your brain ruined by New York City rent are you seriously telling me you want to be in a sweaty room that has never been cleaned with half naked English majors up to their waist in still water? Hard pass. 000
Jordan AKA Jordan Michael @jmcaggregate.bsky.social · 16/03/2025*Keira Knightley comeback training montage*thezoereport.comThis Y2K Hat Trend Is Back & Chicer Than Ever BeforeCelebrities and designers are bringing back the newsboy cap in 2025. Here's how to make the silhouette modern. 000
Jordan AKA Jordan Michael @jmcaggregate.bsky.social · 13/03/2025Demna going to Gucci is like when Alfonso Cuarón directed a Harry Potter movie. 011
Jordan AKA Jordan Michael @jmcaggregate.bsky.social · 10/03/2025"We signed you out due to inactivity" sounds so judgie. 000
Jordan AKA Jordan Michael @jmcaggregate.bsky.social · 10/03/2025Love and respect to the True Posters who still wish people they haven’t seen or spoken to in years Happy Birthday on Facebook I would love to take a tour of your wonderful brains. 000
Jordan AKA Jordan Michael @jmcaggregate.bsky.social · 07/03/2025There are way too many men doing sex crimes with their brothers like obviously the amount of sex crimes you should be doing is zero but that’s especially with regards to having blood relatives be your accomplice. 110
Jordan AKA Jordan Michael @jmcaggregate.bsky.social · 06/03/2025I'm in an webinar about AI in music and would you believe it if I told you one of the speakers is a middle aged white lady with dreadlocks? 000
Jordan AKA Jordan Michael @jmcaggregate.bsky.social · 06/03/2025Damn I just found out Rob Ford and Doug Ford are different guys who knew? 000
Jordan AKA Jordan Michael @jmcaggregate.bsky.social · 06/03/2025I'm sorry but how the FUCK do you expect me to explain to my children that Sleigh Bells have a song called 'Bunky Pop Dinky Donk' or whatever the fuck. 010
Jordan AKA Jordan Michael @jmcaggregate.bsky.social · 03/03/2025If you think Adrian Brody's Oscar speech felt like forever wait until you see him introduce Sean Paul. 000
Jordan AKA Jordan Michael @jmcaggregate.bsky.social · 01/03/2025It’s 2025 for how much longer are people going to write essays about how’re they uncool neurotics who suck to hang out with? 000
