Jessica @jizzwitch.bsky.social · 21/06/2026anyone who's ever called me Daddy owes me a beer today 0160
Jessica @jizzwitch.bsky.social · 21/06/2026there should be a word for a reverse shout out, when you need to point out how bad or dumb a specific person is reverse shout out to Robert Graves btw 290
Jessica @jizzwitch.bsky.social · 21/06/2026whoever has my voodoo doll could you slonk my shit pls 0191
Jessica @jizzwitch.bsky.social · 19/06/2026found out the yoga studio I've been teaching at is doing massive wage theft to all the instructors. namaste 🙏 0110
Jessica @jizzwitch.bsky.social · 16/06/2026it makes sense that the cuck mindset is so huge with straight men rn because watching straight porn is already cuck adjacent oh, you're getting off to some other dude fucking a hot woman while you sit alone and jerk it? lol cool 0191
Jessica @jizzwitch.bsky.social · 13/06/2026well we caught one and got them into the Subaru but the other one gored me in the calf and I'm bleeding pretty bad 1180
Jessica @jizzwitch.bsky.social · 13/06/2026I put a jojo's bizarre adventure manga under a big box propped up with a stick and they're sniffing around now 2240
Jessica @jizzwitch.bsky.social · 12/06/2026took the polycule to a team building ropes courses in the woods and two of our nonbineys have gone feral. they've already sprouted tusks. I can hear them rustling in the underbrush nearby 5421
Jessica @jizzwitch.bsky.social · 11/06/2026hey guys what's up I heard y'all have group chats now 3180
Jessica @jizzwitch.bsky.social · 16/02/2026no one cared who I was til I put on the dick and balls mask 0313
Jessica @jizzwitch.bsky.social · 03/02/2026doing divinations today, sliding scale based on how hot or oppressed you are. we can use a traditional deck or the very horny George Bataille deck, up to you 0121
Reposted by Jessica🍍On Vacay🏝 - DO NOT DISTURB @crannyboy.bsky.social · 31/01/2026Live each day as if you're going to get murdered soon 1233
Jessica @jizzwitch.bsky.social · 30/01/2026the helldude qted it and that really rallied the dryjacker army lol 0160
Jessica @jizzwitch.bsky.social · 30/01/2026remembering the time I posted that dryjacking makes men bad at sex and how many dudes got so mad they sent me death threats on that anonymous AMA platform people used to use 2230
Jessica @jizzwitch.bsky.social · 29/01/2026Let's decode what happened here — first, you saw the best minds of not just any generation, but 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 generation. Were they sane, clothed and well fed? No. They were destroyed, not just by madness — but starving hysterical. The real kicker? They were naked 2356
Jessica @jizzwitch.bsky.social · 29/01/2026can anyone explain why the British have coined so much egregious sexual slang? worst offender: "rumpy pumpy" 371
Jessica @jizzwitch.bsky.social · 29/01/2026the vibes there are so horrific I'd die from psychic damage alone. I'll stay at bombay beach instead 130
Jessica @jizzwitch.bsky.social · 29/01/2026he possesses a fortitude and strength of will most of you will never know 0130
Jessica @jizzwitch.bsky.social · 29/01/2026thats what happens when you consort with inhuman forces tbth 110
Jessica @jizzwitch.bsky.social · 29/01/2026a student came to my 530 hot vinyasa class this morning wearing cutoff skinny jorts 2180
Jessica @jizzwitch.bsky.social · 29/01/2026therapy: lame, takes forever, expensive going beast mode: cool as hell, instant results, free 0253
Reposted by JessicaArlan Skellington (famous) @thehell.zone · 28/01/2026ladies, I don’t need to hear your lamentations at all. crushing my enemies and seeing them driven before me is enough #ally #notallmen 28720
Jessica @jizzwitch.bsky.social · 28/01/2026got the results of my MRI back and it turns out I've been exercising on a torn meniscus for 4 months anyway I'm gonna go meditate in Nepal for a week about it and hopefully receive shaktipat and siddhis from a guru so I can heal it with the power of my own prana 0160
Jessica @jizzwitch.bsky.social · 27/01/2026your gym playlist is a sorcerous incantation. choose it wisely 0221
Jessica @jizzwitch.bsky.social · 26/01/2026using this dungeon crawl classics illustration as a to do list. I figure I'm at about step three rn and look forward to my continued monstrous transfiguration as I unveil further occult mysteries 3325
Jessica @jizzwitch.bsky.social · 26/01/2026*driving 5 minutes extra to the farther away WinCo because they have a better bulk section* my supply lines are too extended rn idk if I can survive the winter seiges 1131
Jessica @jizzwitch.bsky.social · 25/01/2026you hear people say "for the time being" all the time but no one ever asks who the time being is it's me, I'm the Time Being. thanks for all that stuff you've been doing for me 0173
Jessica @jizzwitch.bsky.social · 22/01/2026the primordial urge to "try a French bob" after dedicating three years growing your hair to your waist 1131
Reposted by Jessicaorinoco boo @nocontroller.bsky.social · 20/01/2026Getting into agreements online 514529
Jessica @jizzwitch.bsky.social · 20/01/2026I have finally succumbed to The Illness and require treats and other kindnesses 0140
Jessica @jizzwitch.bsky.social · 19/01/2026made thai mango curry tonight. rest of the week is white bean and veggie stew with dumplings, baked pasta, khichadi, sweet potato bowls, homemade pizza and bibimbap 010
Jessica @jizzwitch.bsky.social · 18/01/2026got hired to teach yoga at a gym and I get a free membership which can only mean one thing: lifting weights until my ass cheeks resemble 2 bowling balls 3210
Jessica @jizzwitch.bsky.social · 16/01/2026today marks 1 year since my spiritual dada David Lynch died. rest in peace. post your fav Lynch moments ITT 5271
Jessica @jizzwitch.bsky.social · 16/01/2026yes pls. you're not talking about khechari mudra re. the tongue to the roof of the mouth, right? cause that instantly intensifies the pressure for me esp if I do the drishti 110
Jessica @jizzwitch.bsky.social · 16/01/2026they're not telling this enough and now my 3rd eye is THROBBING 120
