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Jill Twiss

@jilltwiss.bsky.social
26K followers 885 following 4.8K posts

Comedy writer. "Have I Got News For You", "Last Week Tonight", "The Amber Ruffin Show." Author of "A Day in the Life of Marlon Bundo" and "The Someone New." Friend to several penguins.

PostsRepliesMedia
Jill Twiss @jilltwiss.bsky.social · 11h
It’s a VERY popular kids book
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Jill Twiss @jilltwiss.bsky.social · 15h
WAIT THE KELLY CLARKSON STORE GUY WROTE "DRAGONS LOVE TACOS"??? This adds a whole new chapter. I need to start again from the beginning
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Jill Twiss @jilltwiss.bsky.social · 17h
This article is Jill-Twiss-bait: cooking.nytimes.com/article/the-...
"Snow White's apple may have been crimson and comely, but these days some of the most exciting varieties in American orchards are old, odd and decidedly unpolished. Their names have the ring of Dickensian villains — Esopus Spitzenburg, Cornish Gilliflower, Fearns Pippin, Hubbardston Nonesuch — and their flavors vary from honeyed sweetness to dark clove spice."
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Jill Twiss @jilltwiss.bsky.social · 14/10/2026
"Spritz us with Pam so we die crispy!"
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Jill Twiss @jilltwiss.bsky.social · 14/10/2026
"Mr. President, the air fryers just took over Europe"
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Jill Twiss @jilltwiss.bsky.social · 13/10/2026
listen what's important is that everyone's out there having fun
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Jill Twiss @jilltwiss.bsky.social · 12/10/2026
oooh i want to see this
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Jill Twiss @jilltwiss.bsky.social · 11/10/2026
Incredible
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Reposted by Jill Twiss
HIGNFY US @hignfyus.bsky.social · 11/10/2026
Catch up on our latest episode with Comedians @larrywillmore.bsky.social & Rosebud Baker! Available to stream NOW on CNN.
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Jill Twiss @jilltwiss.bsky.social · 11/10/2026
I can't even imagine. Just watching the reports of people who have attended or were required to "help" haunted me for months
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Jill Twiss @jilltwiss.bsky.social · 11/10/2026
One thing that struck me when I was at LWT co-writing our Lethal Injection piece is how hard the death penalty is on the people who have to administer it. People who see it happen are not in favor of the death penalty. www.youtube.com/watch?v=0lTc...
youtube.com
Lethal Injections: Last Week Tonight with John Oliver (HBO)
YouTube video by LastWeekTonight
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Jill Twiss @jilltwiss.bsky.social · 10/10/2026
i like it when they put the little weighted blanket on me at the dentist to take x-rays
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Jill Twiss @jilltwiss.bsky.social · 10/10/2026
oh yeah, a comedian's "the other day" spans at least a decade
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Jill Twiss @jilltwiss.bsky.social · 10/10/2026
yes illegal aging is something that needs to be talked about more
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Jill Twiss @jilltwiss.bsky.social · 10/10/2026
When I say someone is "about my age," I mean anywhere from 24 to 57
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Jill Twiss @jilltwiss.bsky.social · 10/10/2026
My safe word is "Ouch You're On My Hair"
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Jill Twiss @jilltwiss.bsky.social · 09/10/2026
sure, it isn't something horrifying like Janet Jackson's nipple
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Jill Twiss @jilltwiss.bsky.social · 09/10/2026
I don't have a lot of experience with guns, but i do feel like one rule might be "You should know what you're shooting at"
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Jill Twiss @jilltwiss.bsky.social · 09/10/2026
i can do both!
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Jill Twiss @jilltwiss.bsky.social · 09/10/2026
isn't a public execution the definition of cruel and unusual punishment?
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Jill Twiss @jilltwiss.bsky.social · 09/10/2026
one thing about rich people is they never have any money
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Jill Twiss @jilltwiss.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
No this shirt is the best thing that’s ever happened to me
Red headed woman in an office wearing a t-shirt that says “can I pet your dog?”
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Jill Twiss @jilltwiss.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
these aren't bad first draft jazz lyrics TBH
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Jill Twiss @jilltwiss.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
This is the best thing that’s ever happened to me
A white toilet bowl with colorful gel flowers
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Jill Twiss @jilltwiss.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
Well I had two beers and then ordered Toilet Stamp Gel
Pink box with a toilet on it, labeled Toilet Stamp Gel
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Jill Twiss @jilltwiss.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
oh no. i wish he had more time with his family, but also "ongoing investigation" sounds ominous?
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Jill Twiss @jilltwiss.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
There are work seltzer brands and home seltzer brands and I can’t explain that any further
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Jill Twiss @jilltwiss.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
it objectively can't be Trump's fault that every time he's the president there's some kind of horrible plague, but it feels true
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Jill Twiss @jilltwiss.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
literally no one has ever studied for anything MORE than the kids in the spelling bee!
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Jill Twiss @jilltwiss.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
i think ideally some kind of Truck Limbo
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Jill Twiss @jilltwiss.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
his answer is essentially, "no no no, not PEOPLE. Just women."
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Jill Twiss @jilltwiss.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
I'm not sure people should be taking decision-making advice from a woman who chose to marry Ken Paxton.
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Jill Twiss @jilltwiss.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
this is just a woman who doesn't want to be in the same state as her husband
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Jill Twiss @jilltwiss.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
oh bud, that's not why she's crying
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Jill Twiss @jilltwiss.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
Dough Place Like Home, indeed
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Jill Twiss @jilltwiss.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
"Doughgirl 2: Dough Rises"
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Reposted by Jill Twiss
HIGNFY US @hignfyus.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
Tonight! New Episode with: Comedian @davesfoley.bsky.social and Political Strategist @ashleyallison.bsky.social! Saturday, 10/3 at 9p ET/PT on @cnn.com. Available to stream next day on CNN!
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Jill Twiss @jilltwiss.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
if she is baked, i swear to god....
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Jill Twiss @jilltwiss.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
i shall not rest until there is a Pillsbury Dough Girl
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Reposted by Jill Twiss
Daniel Spenser @danielspenser.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
Here is a character select screen from a game I made a long time ago.
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Jill Twiss @jilltwiss.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
Everyone talks about the Last Supper, but no one mentions the First Supper. Just a bunch of babies sitting around betraying each other
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Jill Twiss @jilltwiss.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
A particular fun and non stressful time to be flying too!
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Jill Twiss @jilltwiss.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
this doesn't feel unrelated to the Cornell thing
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Jill Twiss @jilltwiss.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
A thing about artists that's hard to understand if you don't know them is that they will make the art whether anyone sees it or not. But a thing about people is that they will want to see good art because it connects them to the person who made it
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Jill Twiss @jilltwiss.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
An understated part of this is that I think he thinks Spotify MAKES the songs.
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Jill Twiss @jilltwiss.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
i feel like this gets proven every three years or so. am i crazy?
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Jill Twiss @jilltwiss.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
I am just in awe of these women and what they go through just to get an ounce of justice
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Jill Twiss @jilltwiss.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
I have been writing a play about (and been in touch with) Madison Smith, a young woman who found a law from the 1800s so that she could prosecute her own rape. www.washingtonpost.com/national/a-p...
washingtonpost.com
A prosecutor says no to a rape charge, so a college student calls her own grand jury
Kansas is among six states with century-old laws allowing citizens to pursue indictments on their own.
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Jill Twiss @jilltwiss.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
i cannot follow medical doctors on social media because it is important to me that I do not find out that the people in charge of my health are very stupid
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Jill Twiss @jilltwiss.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
that is maybe not what i would assume "Armie Hammer syndrome" refers to
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