Jill Morris @jillmorris.bsky.social · 21hSorry, I know you’re all sick of me promoting my upcoming public execution. 000
Jill Morris @jillmorris.bsky.social · 06/10/2026The best way to avoid trolls is posting so often the algorithm doesn’t show your posts to anyone. 010
Jill Morris @jillmorris.bsky.social · 06/10/2026Televangelist Jim Bakker died. He preached that fellow rapist Trump was sent by God. Trump once suggested Mexico was sending us rapists, but apparently it’s God. 000
Jill Morris @jillmorris.bsky.social · 06/10/2026Trump says Iran blowing up Los Angeles and San Diego is a “small price to pay.” Given his record with inflation, I’m not sure how familiar he is with small prices. 000
Jill Morris @jillmorris.bsky.social · 05/10/2026Lazy But Supportive Halloween Costume: Any outfit with Jane Doe nametag 011
Jill Morris @jillmorris.bsky.social · 05/10/2026Trump’s Triumphal Arch will have relatives buried inside for tax purposes. 000
Jill Morris @jillmorris.bsky.social · 04/10/2026Senator Tom Cotton got doxxed. I didn’t know he accused a man of sexual assault. 000
Jill Morris @jillmorris.bsky.social · 02/10/2026After her botched execution yesterday, Christa Pike is still unconscious. Thankfully, she's not at a frat house. 010
Jill Morris @jillmorris.bsky.social · 02/10/2026I wrote a humor piece about Cornell. “First of all, I want to thank the prestigious Stonepile University for the opportunity to write an essay as my form of punishment.” jillmariemorris.substack.com/p/why-its-wr...jillmariemorris.substack.comWhy It’s Wrong to Report Rape on CampusReflections on my error in judgement 000
Jill Morris @jillmorris.bsky.social · 30/09/2026Yeah, Jane Doe totally did this as a cash grab. Accusing a man of rape is how I got my Gulfstream jet. 000
Jill Morris @jillmorris.bsky.social · 29/09/2026To be fair, the Cornell 7 do have a promising future. One day they will be dead. 000
Jill Morris @jillmorris.bsky.social · 29/09/2026For most of the episode Zack pretends to be the principal so nobody notices, and then Jessie proves it’s Zack. 020
Jill Morris @jillmorris.bsky.social · 29/09/2026I finally have some shared ground with our president: I’m sleepy. 000
Jill Morris @jillmorris.bsky.social · 28/09/2026Cornell called the gang rape accuser “irresponsible” for talking about the essays and defended itself. I must have missed the part of sex ed where they taught us how to handle being gang raped responsibly. 020
Jill Morris @jillmorris.bsky.social · 28/09/2026Mike Johnson believing something is the hardest proof there is. 110
Jill Morris @jillmorris.bsky.social · 28/09/2026Trump’s campaign ads are now funded by taxpayers. So, not anyone in the Trump family. 000
Jill Morris @jillmorris.bsky.social · 27/09/2026They say rape allegations ruin a man’s life. It’s true! Being the president seems stressful! 010
Jill Morris @jillmorris.bsky.social · 27/09/2026My room is so messy. I can’t even find the bodies. 081
Jill Morris @jillmorris.bsky.social · 26/09/2026Hey, fellas, if you’re in a group chat and raping a woman is suggested, try the thumbs down emoji. 000
Jill Morris @jillmorris.bsky.social · 26/09/2026Instead of being expelled, some of the Cornell rapists wrote essays. Even with an Ivy League vocabulary, it must be hard to come up with euphemisms for gang rape. 040
Jill Morris @jillmorris.bsky.social · 25/09/2026I'm finally getting the attention I deserve. Unfortunately, it's from Flock cameras. 020
Jill Morris @jillmorris.bsky.social · 24/09/2026Preparing for the nor’easter by stocking up on DVDs of No Country for Old Men. 010
Jill Morris @jillmorris.bsky.social · 22/09/2026Clavicular has been charged with rape. His lawyer promises to hammer the charges down. 010
Jill Morris @jillmorris.bsky.social · 22/09/2026At the Brooklyn Museum I learned Japan didn’t trust women to make baskets until the 1960s. Makes sense; baskets lead to shopping. 000
Jill Morris @jillmorris.bsky.social · 21/09/2026A good trick to stopping spam calls is not paying your phone bill. 000
Jill Morris @jillmorris.bsky.social · 21/09/2026The Paramount Warner-Bros merger would make a good movie to shelve as a tax write-off. 000
Jill Morris @jillmorris.bsky.social · 21/09/2026I could never sit on a jury. I stand for justice. 000
Jill Morris @jillmorris.bsky.social · 20/09/2026The remaining White House reporters have no choice but to procreate so they don’t go extinct. 020
Jill Morris @jillmorris.bsky.social · 20/09/2026Mamdani’s meeting Trump tomorrow. I didn't realize you could call 311 to fix the president. 000
Jill Morris @jillmorris.bsky.social · 22/11/2024My Dasher’s driving the wrong way with my uranium. 010
Reposted by Jill MorrisJill Twiss @jilltwiss.bsky.social · 22/11/2024Every parent who said “I’ll GIVE you something to cry about” was talking about 2024. 348876
Jill Morris @jillmorris.bsky.social · 22/11/2024Not surprised Trump and his people are assaulting America. It is a pretty young country. 020
Reposted by Jill MorrisMike Drucker @mikedrucker.bsky.social · 21/11/2024Matt Gaetz saving face by telling friends he just wanted to spend more time with other people’s kids 281199204
Jill Morris @jillmorris.bsky.social · 20/11/2024Has America tried pinning the Constitution to the top of its profile? 010
Jill Morris @jillmorris.bsky.social · 19/11/2024Is it a red flag if you're dating a serial killer, and he only wants to kill other people? 010
Jill Morris @jillmorris.bsky.social · 19/11/2024Not worried about nuclear war because I think I’d look better with three tits. 010
Jill Morris @jillmorris.bsky.social · 19/11/2024Maybe now that Dr. Oz is in charge of Medicaid and Medicare, they'll finally start covering the vacuum dust he sells as a supplement. 010
Jill Morris @jillmorris.bsky.social · 18/11/2024If I’m not the most popular person in my camp, I’m joining the fascists. 010
Jill Morris @jillmorris.bsky.social · 17/11/2024Your honor, my client is innocent because I assume everything is my fault. 010
Jill Morris @jillmorris.bsky.social · 16/11/2024Maybe they want to pose with someone more mature than them. 010
Jill Morris @jillmorris.bsky.social · 16/11/2024Two happy creatures back in October. Georgia has not let the election affect her mood. 030
Reposted by Jill MorrisBen Collins @bencollins.bsky.social · 16/11/2024Hi friends! I just wanted to give a quick update on The Onion’s purchase of InfoWars, which we can’t wait to relaunch as the dumbest website on the internet. The long and short of it: We won the auction and — you're not going to believe this — the previous InfoWars folks aren't taking it well. 644294534718