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Jesse Berney, LGPC

@jesseberney.com
4.2K followers 399 following 14K posts

Therapist. 20+ years in politics, advocacy, and labor. Writer. He/him. DC.

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Jesse Berney, LGPC @jesseberney.com · 24/09/2026
timeline cleanse
Junebug the Aussiedoodle on the edge my bed with her little fuzzy face resting on her pawsJunebug the Aussiedoodle on the edge my bed with her little tongue sticking out of her dumb face
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Jesse Berney, LGPC @jesseberney.com · 15/09/2026
Wow, I have to give Ed Sheeran credit for this new song. The lyrics are pretty powerful.
My name is Ed Sheeran 
And I'm here to say
Neutrality in the face of oppression 
Is A-OK

I'm not rooting for the boot
I'm not rooting for the neck
Where's everyone going
What the motherfuckin heck
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Jesse Berney, LGPC @jesseberney.com · 10/09/2026
You Will Not Be Forgotten
A man named Kirk
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Jesse Berney, LGPC @jesseberney.com · 10/09/2026
This photo is from Trump's dumb fake convention, and I just have to say that "HEALTH INSURANCE TRANSPARENCY" is such a terrible slogan that you'd think it was written by Democrats.
Two dumb old white people at Trump's dumb fake convention, one of whom is holding a dumb sign reading "HEALTH INSURANCE TRANSPARENCY"
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Jesse Berney, LGPC @jesseberney.com · 26/08/2026
Easy choice what shirt to wear today.
Me, a bearded 50yo white man in a shirt that depicts Dolly Parton on a Queen of Hearts playing card.
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Jesse Berney, LGPC @jesseberney.com · 25/08/2026
I know Whitney Houston's version of this song was an incredible technical achievement, but Dolly's original has this perfect sweetness that can't be matched.
I Will Always Love You by Dolly Parton playing on my car display.
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Jesse Berney, LGPC @jesseberney.com · 09/08/2026
I wish I could explain to you how much worse this looks in a person. Just completely washed out and ridiculous.
Trump's shitty gilding of the statues at the entrance to the Memorial Bridge connecting DC to Arlington.
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Jesse Berney, LGPC @jesseberney.com · 17/07/2026
People on that planet must sound so funny
New data collected by the astronomers strongly suggests that the LHS 1140b has a helium-rich atmosphere.
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Jesse Berney, LGPC @jesseberney.com · 12/07/2026
I made a TikTok about Lindsey Graham's life and choices.
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Jesse Berney, LGPC @jesseberney.com · 09/07/2026
luv to get up to make a bagel andcome back to find SOMEONE has taken my spot
Junebug the Aussiedoodle lying on the couch somehow wrapped around a pillow
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Jesse Berney, LGPC @jesseberney.com · 08/07/2026
studying hard you guys
A column from a chart in my National Counselor Exam Study Guide

Focus Zone
Mouth
Anus
Genitals
Dormant 
Genitals
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Jesse Berney, LGPC @jesseberney.com · 05/07/2026
when the trazadone hits
Junebug the Aussiedoodle looking zonked out of her mind
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Jesse Berney, LGPC @jesseberney.com · 04/07/2026
Jesus, this may be the most incredible play out of the world cup yet
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Jesse Berney, LGPC @jesseberney.com · 04/07/2026
LOL, I was blocked, but here's the original post. Just a bafflingly stupid thing to say.
Skeet by @satanley.bsky.social

Just did the math. DC will be under a heavier bombardment by Trump than Gaza was by Israel. Just a hair over 236 fireworks every second for an entire hour! 

And after the first five minutes there will be so much smoke you won't be able to see the rest of the show. A very stable genius indeed!
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Jesse Berney, LGPC @jesseberney.com · 03/07/2026
I'M HERE TO EAT CRABS AND BE RUDE TO SERVICE WORKERS, AND I'M ALL OUT OF CRABS
A street sign reading "Chesapeake Bch Rd"
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Jesse Berney, LGPC @jesseberney.com · 02/07/2026
when you really want ice out of your dad's glass
Junebug the aussiedoodleJunebug the aussiedoodleJunebug the aussiedoodleJunebug the aussiedoodle
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Jesse Berney, LGPC @jesseberney.com · 30/06/2026
Anyway, no one said anything about the shirt.
Me, a 50yo white dude wearing a baseball cap and a PROTECT TRANS YOUTH shirt in front of the model of Trump's dumb arch.
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Jesse Berney, LGPC @jesseberney.com · 30/06/2026
At least it was easy to choose which shirt to wear today.
A man (me!) with a full and mostly grey beard wearing a T-shirt that reads "Protect Trans Youth." The shirt has a momma possum curled around a baby possum who is sporting colors of the trans flag.
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Jesse Berney, LGPC @jesseberney.com · 28/06/2026
Happy 100th to the GOAT
A poster for YOUNG FRANKENSTEIN,  a Mel Brooks film.
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Jesse Berney, LGPC @jesseberney.com · 11/06/2026
It's an abomination. It's a monument to greed, corruption, and hate. It does not celebrate anything good about America, only the worst of who we are.
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Jesse Berney, LGPC @jesseberney.com · 09/06/2026
YASSSSSSSS www.82-0.com/share?id=ryj...
My perfect 82-0 team: Russell Westbrook (PG), Tracy McGrady (SG), Marques Johnson (SF), Bob Petit (PF), and Kareem Abdul-Jabbar (C)
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Jesse Berney, LGPC @jesseberney.com · 22/05/2026
I have a question about this claim from Ralph Norman. If the riot was staged by people who hate Trump, why wouldn't you want those people in jail?
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Jesse Berney, LGPC @jesseberney.com · 04/05/2026
Hey I know May the Fourth is a solemn day for many of you but I think it's crazy that this box of dishwasher pods I bought today was so empty.
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Jesse Berney, LGPC @jesseberney.com · 04/05/2026
but did you know Hermann Rorschach was a stone cold baddie?
A very handsome young Hermann Rorschach
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Jesse Berney, LGPC @jesseberney.com · 11/04/2026
I would never buy a piece of non-Orioles MLB gear, but these Brewers' WISCO jerseys are fire.
A bad picture of a brewers jersey that reads WISCO
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Jesse Berney, LGPC @jesseberney.com · 10/04/2026
Guys I think I found the person answering all the polls Democrats are constantly reading.
The back of a red Ford explorer with stickers of the American flag, the Israeli flag, the Ukraine flag, the rainbow flag a US Navy emblem, and one that says NO MEN IN WOMEN'S SPORTS!!!!!!!
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Jesse Berney, LGPC @jesseberney.com · 10/04/2026
I didn't see shit
New York times headline: Molotov cocktail is hurled at home of open AI chief executive Sam Altman 

with the dek: the device burned and exterior date of the house in San Francisco, the police said, and it was unclear whether the artificial intelligence executive was home. The authorities arrested a suspect.
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Jesse Berney, LGPC @jesseberney.com · 08/04/2026
Junebug would like to know why you are spreading rumors about her
Junebug the Aussiedoodle resting her sweet little head on my hairy leg.
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Jesse Berney, LGPC @jesseberney.com · 05/04/2026
boop
The snoot of junebug the Aussiedoodle
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Jesse Berney, LGPC @jesseberney.com · 27/03/2026
omg darth as you can clearly see junebug has been patiently waiting by the window for you
Junebug the Aussiedoodle waiting in a chair by the window with a toy in her mouth
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Jesse Berney, LGPC @jesseberney.com · 27/03/2026
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Jesse Berney, LGPC @jesseberney.com · 23/03/2026
Junebug would like to know when you're coming over so she can show you her toy
Junebug the aussiedoodle sitting in an upholstered chair with her paws over the side looking out a window with a toy in her mouth
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Jesse Berney, LGPC @jesseberney.com · 20/03/2026
That sad lady with the green wig from the time they had that fucked up willy Wonka event where everyone got like one jellybean
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Jesse Berney, LGPC @jesseberney.com · 19/03/2026
EXTREMELY NECESSARY TIMELINE CLEANSE
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Jesse Berney, LGPC @jesseberney.com · 18/03/2026
big news everyone
Letter that reads: "I'm guessing congratulations are in order. Dear Mr Berney, you're probably wondering why congratulations are in order, and I have a logical reason for you. It takes skill perseverance and savvy to be counted among the wealthiest Americans. To have out save and out invested your peers speaks to the kind of individual you are. It should also explain the exclusive nature of this communication."
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Jesse Berney, LGPC @jesseberney.com · 17/03/2026
skeet from anti-leaf blower account that says "u ever get a clogged pore/cyst in ur ear and it's infuriating bc any pressure change on the skin hurts like hell" followed by a tweet with the onion's YES HAHAHA YES sickos meme
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Jesse Berney, LGPC @jesseberney.com · 13/03/2026
when you're trying to fill time while your son is at a birthday party and there just happens to be a Holi celebration nearby and ok yeah you're the oldest person there but so what
Me, a bearded white guy in glasses, covered in multicolored holi powder
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Jesse Berney, LGPC @jesseberney.com · 12/03/2026
National Guard units are still wandering around DC, and as far as I can tell they do... nothing. But this morning I saw a group of four CamoKids walking down the street, and when they got to the corner they did a little formation, and I just thought it was the funniest thing.
Four members of the National Guard standing at an intersection in Washington DC. They are standing back-to-back with each one facing a different direction so they can see all the danger coming their way. Not pictured: the danger.
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Jesse Berney, LGPC @jesseberney.com · 11/03/2026
TIL half of Japan is on the North American tectonic plate. I love science so much.
A world map showing the location of the tectonic plates.
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Jesse Berney, LGPC @jesseberney.com · 09/03/2026
Seems to me the frog has been fully boiled as far as racism becoming acceptable again. Sitting member of Congress out here suggesting we eject millions of Americans from the country. Or maybe he wants to put them right into the ovens.
Tweet from Rep Andy Ogles that reads: "Muslims don't belong in American society. Pluralism is a lie."
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Jesse Berney, LGPC @jesseberney.com · 09/03/2026
Every song a banger
My car's screen, playing knocks me off my feet off the album songs in the key of Life by Stevie Wonder
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Jesse Berney, LGPC @jesseberney.com · 02/03/2026
Good morning to everyone except this particular fucker in front of me
A white Chevy Tahoe with a license plate reading GOP SPIN
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Jesse Berney, LGPC @jesseberney.com · 25/02/2026
Bro I gave you a permanent get out of jail free card and you call me out like that
John Roberts
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Jesse Berney, LGPC @jesseberney.com · 25/02/2026
PICTURED: decorum
Charles Schumer
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Jesse Berney, LGPC @jesseberney.com · 24/02/2026
Last saved photo of a celebrity is my therapist
Wilford Brimley meme reading DIABEETUS
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Jesse Berney, LGPC @jesseberney.com · 24/02/2026
Twinsies
Junebug the Aussiedoodle posed gracefully
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Jesse Berney, LGPC @jesseberney.com · 22/02/2026
Hi guys I spice rubbed a couple steaks and sous vided them and then put garlic lime butter on them sorry
Sliced steaks
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Jesse Berney, LGPC @jesseberney.com · 20/02/2026
🤮🤮🤮
Top of CENTER magazine. The subhead reads "The Donald J. Trump and John F. Kennedy Center for the Performing Arts Magazine"
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Jesse Berney, LGPC @jesseberney.com · 19/02/2026
timeline cleanse
Junebug the Aussiedoodle
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Jesse Berney, LGPC @jesseberney.com · 15/02/2026
Junebug the Aussiedoodle putting her little head on my leg
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